Mill (Milldred) : Hello peoples. This is a humorous fanfiction and this is a cat speaking! I, Milldred Millicent Aslana Hubble, the eldest cat in this operation (I am 3 and a tabby with some orange spots), and my comrades, Diana Athenae Ying Siammease (my 2-and-a-half old, white and orange daughter) and Nostradamus Kay Lloyd (a seven month old orange tomcat), have tied up Dreaming-Cat-369 and are taking over her account!
Nostra (Nostradamus): Disclaimer: we do not own any characters from books that you shall see presently (DC3 does not either). We will commence our operation to steal the copyrights—
Di (Diana): /Taking a swat at Nostra's ear/ You idiot! You weren't supposed to say that! That was secret!
DC3 (Dreaming-Cat-369)/Coming up behind the cats with a big spray-bottle/ Hah! Bad kitties!
Mill: Nostra, you were supposed to tie her up!
Nostra: It is difficult without opposable thumbs. And you are just yelling at me because I am the youngest!
Mill: No I am not!
A Three-year-old /falls through ceiling/ hi!
Mill: /commanding imperiously/ Go back where you came from, human kitten.
The Three Year Old /is sucked up back through ceiling/
DC3: Hey, Mill, you're better at that then I am!
Di: Duh. She is a cat, whereas you are human and therefore inferior!
DC3: I won't pet you for a month for that!
Di: I take it back, I take it back!
Artemis Fowl II /falls through ceiling/
DC3 /yells at Nostra because he hasn't been saying much/ Nostradamus Kay Lloyd, WHAT DID YOU DO?
Nostra /scandalized/ ME? I did not do anything!
Artemis: /looks dazed/Who said that?
DC3: My cat, you idiot. For a so—called genius you certainly are a numbskull.
Artemis: Cats don't talk!
Mill, Di and Nostra in chorus: YES, WE DO!
DC3: /smugly/ See?
Commander Root /falls through ceiling/
DC3: Whoa, cool! Hello, Commander Root!
Foaly: /falls through ceiling/
DC3: Hello, Foaly!
Root /bellowing, as usual/ FOALY, WHAT DID YOU DOOOOOO?
Foaly: It wasn't me, Julius! Hi, Arty. How's your girlfriend?
Artemis: /blushing/ She is not my girlfriend! Don't call me 'Arty'!
Root: /directs attention towards DC3/ Foaly, how did this Mud Girl—
DC3: That's extremely insulting you know.
Root: —this Mud Girl find out about fairies?
Foaly: /gulping/ I have no idea!
Holly: /falls through ceiling/ Commander! Foaly! What happened! And why is Artemis here?
All the cats in chorus: Hello Captain Short! We've read so much about you…
Artemis: Read? What is going on?
DC3: Oh come on Artemis, don't be slow! We all know about your biographer, a Mister Eoin Colfer? I thought so.
Holly: Um, Commander? Why aren't you dead?
DC3: We brought him back! It's no fun without him!
Mill: Sool might be interesting, though!
Foaly: NO! Don't bring him!
Nostra: /teeth showing evilly/ as you do not wish, Foaly…
DC3: Remember to review! laughs