Why Me?
How did it come to this? How did I end up being the one who always loses out in the end? No matter how hard I try, I can't seem to get a break. My whole life has been giving myself to others, hoping to get something good in return, but all I got was heartache, pain and loss. It started and ended with a girl, I gave my heart to the both of them and in return they hated me for it.
Looking back on it all, it all started when I first met Katherine Pierce. Before meeting her, my world was just normal, once I was introduced to her everything. Life seemed to be more exciting now that she was a part of my life. At first I didn't know what she was; I do have to admit though that when I found out that she was a vampire, I was a little bit scared at first. Later on I was willing to do whatever it took to be with her, even drinking her blood willingly. Though I gave all of my heart and soul to her, she seemed to only have eyes for Stefan. No matter how hard I tried to sway her towards me, it would be to no avail.
The day she was taken from me would be the worst day and sequentially the last day of my human life. She was to be taken to the old Fell's Church where she would be burned alive; little did I know that wasn't the case. She had been actually buried in a tomb beneath the church with all the other captured vampires. Luckily my brother and I were able to escape from being taken, but we'd be cursed to wander the earth alone for the next 145 years, hoping to find a way to free her, me especially.
While I waited for that time in which I could free her, I would pass the time travelling the country and becoming the monster that I was. I would compel people to do what I wanted and then drink them dry when I felt that I had no further use for them. I would live my life – make that my immortal life – doing whatever I wanted, not caring about the consequences. During that time I was also looking for a way to free Katherine from the tomb, so that we could be together. The search would take everything I had, but for me it was worth it.
When I thought that all hope was lost, a miracle appeared, and her name was Elena Gilbert. The thing that would instantly draw me to her was that she looked just like Katherine. The same long dark hair, those same doe-like eyes, that same olive skin, it was like looking at a reflection. I knew that this was my chance to change the past, to make things right. Little did I know how wrong I would be.
The moment I tried to make her mine, I found out that my brother already had her heart. Damn why could I have found her first? I would spend the next few months trying to win her over, but found that her heart would never belong to me. To make her see that I was different, I changed my personality, making myself more human than vampire. I thought it would work, that she would see that I was a different person, but she still wouldn't see that I was the one for her.
What's even worse is that I did find a way to break the curse on the tomb with the trapped vampires, only to find that my beloved Katherine wasn't there. I found out from one of the other vampires that were there that she had been free this whole time, she had compelled the priest who had trapped them to let her go. Damn all this time that I thought she was trapped she was free, and yet she didn't even think to look for me. I did happen to meet up with Katherine again when she returned to do Klaus' bidding to find out from her that she didn't really love me either, her love would always be for Stefan. This made me even more depressed, but I was determined then to do what I could to be with Elena, maybe then drawing Katherine to Stefan.
When I found out about the sun/moon curse and that Elena's life was going to be sacrificed, I did everything in my power to make sure that didn't happen. I did everything to prove my love for my love for her, even announcing it to her face, only to make her forget because I felt that I didn't deserve her. When people told me that there was other ways to save her, I ignored it because I wasn't sure that they would work since most were just theories that didn't have proof that they would work, and of course I thought my way was better. I was even willing to sacrifice myself to save her.
That last statement of mine would eventually become true, because by trying to save her life, I would end up putting myself in danger. While trying to save Caroline and Tyler, I would get nipped by him as he was transforming into a werewolf. At first I thought I would be okay, since I thought it wasn't as bad as what happened previously with Rose, boy was I wrong.
Now here I am, slowly wasting away from this werewolf bite. There's no hope, no prayer, no cure, I'm at the end of my rope and there's nowhere for me to go but down. I hope that everyone knows and understands that what I did was to protect the one that I love. I love you Elena, I have always loved you. I hope that you can realize this, and finally accept that love one day. Goodbye world, it's been a blast.