Episode 3: Super Jerrie and Turbo Teazer vs. The Turkey of Terror
A note: I am aware that they do not celebrate Thanksgiving in England. Maybe this is the Broadway cast. Just go with it. And now on to…
The Madcap Adventures of
Super Jerrie and Turbo Teazer
Faster than Macavity's speeding bullet
More powerful than Skimbleshanks' locomotive
Is it a bird?
Is it a plane?
Is it the Great Rumpus Cat?!
HECK NO! It's
SUPER JERRIE!
And his sidekick TURBO TEAZER
A giant J flashes onto screen
It is 7:00 am Thanksgiving day and Munkustrap, yes Munkustrap, is busy getting everything ready for a perfect Thanksgiving feast…
Munkustrap, hollering for wife: Demeter, dear! Testing soup. Where's the garlic?
Demeter: I don't know, dear, I never use it. Demeter does not do the cooking in the house, because food makes her sick. She has a weak stomach.
Munkustrap: Well don't worry. I'm sure I can find it. Munkustrap hunts for garlic in the back of the fridge. Little does he know, a fly that has been seeping in radioactive juices and battery acid near the junkyard flies in, sick and weak. It lands on the raw turkey that has just been dressed by Munkustrap. The fly drips the substances onto the turkey. The turkey absorbs the battery acid and radioactive juices, and the fly dies.
Munkustrap: Knocks fly off the turkey. Dear! There was a fly on the turkey!
Demeter: Do you need me to help you?
Munkustrap: No, dear! I just wanted to tell you! Munkustrap puts the turkey in the oven. It has to cook all day. The radioactive germs grow in the heat, and, as Munkustrap turns to leave, the turkey gets out of the oven, and walks out the door…
Back at headquarters…
Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer are also getting ready for what they call Turkey Day. Mungojerrie is getting coffee so they can watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade at 9:00.
Mungojerrie: 'Ey Rumpleteazer! Woi don we invite our agents?
Rumpleteazer: A splendid oidea, brother!
Mungojerrie: You call Agent Coriocopat and Agent Tantomile.
Rumpleteazer: And you finish that coffee.
Mungojerrie: Yeah!
A knock at the door
Mungojerrie: Rumpleteazer, get the door!
Rumpleteazer: Oim calling Agent Tantomile and Agent Coricopat!
Mungojerrie: Mumbles to himself and goes and gets the door. Wot?
Alonzo: Mungojerrie, you're coming with me.
Back at Munkustrap's house…
Munkustrap: I didn't even have time to baste it.
Demeter: Well dear, it wasn't your fault. Whoever took it probably didn't mean trouble.
Munkustrap: In a passion. I put my heart and soul into that turkey!
Demeter: Yes, you did. Maybe the person who took it was only pulling a prank.
Munkustrap: Upset. You took it! You were the only other one that came into the kitchen after I left. You traitor! At being accused, Demeter faints.
Tugger: Comes in, and looks at a collapsed Demeter. She's gonna hurt herself one of these days.
Munkustrap: I didn't mean to yell. But my turkey's gone!
Tugger: That's what you get. A grown man, cooking turkey. It's like setting yourself up for suicide.
Munkustrap: Ignoring Tugger. Due to circumstances beyond their control, Munkustrap, Tugger, and Alonzo all lived in the same house, even though Tugger was of no relationship to the other two. I just need to calm down. I've already sent Alonzo for help.
Tugger: Sarcastic. Gyah, why didn't you just call the fire department?
Munkustrap: Listen Tugger! I put my heart and- Munkstrap is interupted by Alonzo, who bursts into the front door with an injured looking Mungojerrie with him.
Alonzo: Well Munkustrap, I think this is our culprit.
Munkustrap: Mungojerrie stole my turkey?!
Mungojerrie: Wot turkey? Everyone looks at Mungojerrie coldy, including Demeter who has just woken up. Oi didn't steal no turkey! And oi probably can prove it. Take me to the scene of the croime! Alonzo drags Mungojerrie into the kitchen and points at the oven.
Mungojerrie: Studying the oven. 'Ere's your first clue that oi didn't take it. Woi would I have left the door of the oven open? And woi wouldn't oi 'ave left turkey juice on the floor? Oi definitely wouldn't have left the pan if oi were stealing, and oit wouldn't have left the timer on.
Munkustrap: Sighs. You're right, Mungojerrie. I'm sorry we blamed you.
Tugger: Well he can still help us find the thief.
Munkustrap: Will you help us, Mungojerrie?
Mungojerrie: Sure! This sounds loike a job for…
SUPER JERRIE!
Rumpleteazer: Running full force into the kitchen. And his sidekick TURBO TEAZAH!
Mungojerrie turns into a super hero which no one can defeat, where as Rumpleteazer forgets she has to transform, so everybody has to wait ten minutes until she can't get her super boots on.
Turbo Teazer: Sorry.
Super Jerrie: C'mon, Turbo Teazer! We can't waste anymore toime!
Turbo Teazer: Was that a dig?
Super Jerrie: C'mon!
Turbo Teazer: Wait! It's going to be cold today. Do you think I'll need my super jacket?
Super Jerrie: Nah, but you'll probably need your super jumper. The two head out the front door.
Turbo Teazer: Oi need to go back home for a minute to get moi purse.
Super Jerrie: Make sure you get your super purse, though. They head back to their house. When they come inside, they realize that their guests, Agent Coricopat and his Other Half Agent Tantomile, have arrived.
Super Jerrie: Wot exactly are they doing? Agent Coricopat and Agent Tantomile were writhing on the floor in pain, holding their heads and muttering.
Turbo Teazer: Oi think Agent Coricopat needs a little sugar…
Super Jerrie: Wait! Oi think that their powerful senses are working very hard.
Agent Coricopat: The turkey, it….
Agent Tanotmile: It has been…
Agent Coricopat: Been stolen it…
Agent Tantomile: Walked…..away. The two stop writhing on the floor and sit up.
Super Jerrie: That last toime oi checked a dead turkey couldn't walk.
Agent Tantomile: Precisely.
Agent Coricopat: Of course we know that a dead turkey can not get up and walk. We are NOT idiots. We have telepathic powers-
Agent Tantomile: Excuse his tangent.
Agent Coricopat: Oh, was I babbling again?
Super Jerrie: You two tell me wot the-
Rumpleteazer: Super Jerrie, use 'heck'.
Super Jerrie: Wot the heck is going on?
Agent Tantomile: We have seen into the future, and the turkey has gotten something on it that makes it alive.
Super Jerrie: To the lab room!
A giant J flashes onto screen
In the lab, Agent Coricopat is trying to figure out what caused the turkey to walk.
Super Jerrie: You see anything?
Agent Coricopat: I do not understand it. A dead turkey does not walk.
Agent Tantomile: But if something messed up the nerves in the turkey, he may be walking without being able to control himself.
Agent Coricopat: Precisely. And I think I know what might have caused it. Agent Coricopat types in something on the computer, and a page pops up with a picture of a red liquid.
Agent Tantomile: Ah yes. Good work, Agent Coricopat.
Agent Coricopat: Thank you, Agent Tantomile.
Turbo Teazer: Wot it called?
Agent Coricopat: It is a radioactive substance that contains iodine and zethus, a highly dangerous drug that is named after the twin brother-
Turbo Teazer: Oi loike twins!
Agent Coricopat: Ignores her. …of Amphion in Greek mythology. When a dead creature is exposed to zethus that has been accidentally mixed with iodine, an extreme chemical reaction occurs and results in shocking the nerves, making the dead creature-
Super Jerrie: Or turkey.
Agent Coricopat: Or turkey walk involuntarily.
Super Jerrie: How can you reverse it?
Agent Coricopat: Swivels around in chair. It cannot be reversed.
Super Jerrie: But 'ow do you fix it?
Agent Coricopat: I…do not know.
At Victoria's house…
Victoria: Father, we HAVE to go now…
Bustopher Jones: Hold on. I need to get my spoon! Bustopher waddles over to the closet and takes out his suit jacket and giant spoon.
Victoria: All right, Father. Do you have everything?
Bustopher: Yes!
Victoria: Come on.
Bustopher: Nope.
Victoria: What?
Bustopher: I've forgotten!
Victoria: Forgotten…?
Bustopher: It!
Victoria: What's "it"?
Bustopher: I've forgotten that we can't go out to breakfast because all the clubs are closed.
Victoria: FATHER!
Bustopher: Don't 'Father' me! It wasn't my fault!
Victoria: But Father, I've given all the food to the needy because you said we were eating out today!
Bustopher: You gave away my Oreoes?!…. Starts singing ICE COLD MILK AND AN OREO COOKIE SUCH A CLASSIC COMBINATION!
Victoria: Father!
Bustopher: Crossing his arms. Well you don't eat anyway.
Victoria: Well how do you expect me to keep my girlish figure?
Bustopher: Stops. You don't eat, but I do. I have no food! I'm going to STARVE!
Phone rings.
Victoria: I don't have time for you right now, Father! Answers phone. Hello?
Tumblebrutus, on other end: Quick! Turn on your TV to the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade!
Victoria: Turns on television. Victoria drops the phone. It looks like a giant, raw turkey balloon is floating but……it was a dead turkey walking in the middle of the parade, flattening all the floats in sight.
Victoria: FATHER!
Bustopher Jones: Don't 'Father' me!
Victoria: Oh, shut up! Look at the TV.
Bustopher Jones: What's so great? A giant turkey is……walking-down- Bustopher Jones faints.
Victoria: Oh my gosh! Looking at TV. He's about to step on…JEMIMA!
Back at headquarters…
The phone rings as Agent Coricopat and Agent Tantomile are trying to figure out how to stop the Turkey of Terror.
Agent Coricopat: Answers phone. Hello?
Victoria: Agent Coricopat, is Super Jerrie there?
Agent Coricopat: Yes.
Victoria: Turn on the TV! A giant turkey is walking in the middle of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade!
Agent Coricopat turns n the TV, and there is that giant turkey. They see Jemima walking towards the turkey.
Agent Tantomile: Agent Coricopat, call Jemima on her cell phone!
Agent Coricpat quickly hangs up with Victoria and calls Jemima on her cell phone. Jemima's cell phone starts to ring. She answers the phone.
Jemima: Hello?
Agent Coricopat: Run, Jemima! Run away from the turkey!
Jemima: Looks at turkey. Last night she had seen 'King Kong'. Maybe the turkey was just a tortured soul. He can't be all bad! He has a soul too!!! Everything has a little good in it! Jemima runs towards the turkey, who corners her between a building and a car. Jemima screams.
Jemima: Still on cell phone. How can you kill this thing?!
Agent Coricopat: We do not know.
Jemima: Why didn't you tell me that BEFORE I ran full force at it!
Agent Tantomile: You didn't ask.
Jemima: Screams. I AM GOING TO DIE!
Suddenly, the Super Jerrie signal appears in the sky! Super Jerrie, and his sidekick Turbo Teazer, have come to save the day!
Super Jerrie: C'mon, Turbo Teazer! They run over to the turkey. How can they defeat him?
Super Jerrie: Talking through ear piece. Agent Coricopat, how can we defeat him?
Agent Coricopat: On computer. Hold on, I think I've got something…
Super Jerrie: Uh, can you hurry it up please?
Agent Coricopat: Yes…yes…it's loading…
Jemima: Screams.
Super Jerrie, to Agent Coricopat: HURRY!!!
Agent Coricopat: Leaning forward in seat, panicking. It's loading…Here it comes…
Suddenly the computer screeen goes black.
Agent Coricopat: Screaming. AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Agent Tantomile: AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!
Agent Coricopat and Agent Tantomile: Screams in each other's face. AAAAHHHH!
Agent Coricopat dives under the table and starts messing with the computer cords.
Agent Tantomile: Presses the keys, 'Control, Alternate, Delete.' The program is not responding!!!!
Agent Coricopat: A wire came unplugged!! Plugs it back in and the computer starts back up.
Agent Coricopat: Boot!!!!! Stupid COMPUTER! BOOOOOOT!
Agent Tantomile: Type in the password!
Agent Coricopat: S-T-O-R-M-I-N-T-H-E-A-I-R. Computer boots up, and they get the page back up.
Super Jerrie: Turbo Teazer, distract the turkey!
Turbo Teazer: Uh…'ey Mr. Turkey! Uh…let's sing a song! Starts singing. Hey everybody, gonna do the Otter Dance! First you take your left flipper and you slap it on your pants- Everybody at the parade takes Turbo Teazer literally, and starts doing the dance. The turkey stops trying to step on Jemima.
Agent Coricopat: To kill the turkey, somebody has to eat him.
Super Jerrie: Oi'll be right back.
Agent Coricopat: What are you doing?
Super Jerrie: What oi should've done all along. We need a Cat with a jaw of steel.
Back at Bustopher Jones' house…
Bustopher Jones has awaken from his fainting episode.
Victoria: Father, come on! We need to get to the parade! Everyone is going to be there!
Bustopher: NO, NO, NO! There is a knock at the door. Despite everything that's going on, Victoria checks herself in the mirror to make sure she looks all right.
Super Jerrie: Open up! It involves your father!
Victoria: Hold on!
Super Jerrie: We need him to eat the Turkey of Terror!
Bustopher: What? HECK NO! I have to leave room for supper!
Victoria: Father!
Bustopher: Don't answer the door!
Super Jerrie: Sorry Oi have to do this…Super Jerrie uses 'The Tail Spin Of…", which is a device where he swings his mighty tail to cut down the door. Nobody knows what follows the 'Of…' because Super Jerrie never finished naming it. Anyway, he knocks down the door, grabs Bustopher, gets distracted by the beautiful Victoria, Agent Tantomile screams at him to hurry up throught his ear piece, and he leaves.
Back at the parade…
All the Cats are now at the parade, including Munkustrap who brought the basting sauce in hopes that he will still be able to cook the turkey for dinner. Turbo Teazer is still distracting the turkey with the song.
Tumblebrutus: Taping with Video Camera. This is so going on You Tube.
Carbucketty: Hey! Take a picture of me in front of it!
Tumblebrutus: What? No! I didn't bring my digi cam.
Carbucketty: This is WAY better than the Wienermobile. Hey Tumblie, "My baloney has a first name it's O-S…"
Super Jerrie: 'Ere's the man that will solve our problems! Bustopher Jones has gotten into the spirit and is calling himself 'Bustopher the Lion-Hearted'. He is using a plate as a shield, wearing his spoon on his head, and using a human knife as a sword.
Bustopher the Lion Hearted: Races toward the turkey. Trying to ruin Thanksgiving, hmm? Well, no more, dear Benedict! NO MORE! Bustopher Jones stabs the turkey, who falls to the ground. This reminds me of my Sigma Alpha Phi days!
Super Jerrie: Turbo Teazer and Super Jerrie rush over to a giant Garfield balloon, and are just about to cut the ropes when they decide to cut the giant Snoopy balloon's rope instead.
Turbo Teazer: Stupid Pollicle. They cut the ropes, and the balloon floats up into space.
Super Jerrie: Now it's toime to truss that turkey! He ties the turkey up. Bustopher Jones runs over there, and cuts himself a piece of dark meat.
Demeter: He can't eat that! It's raw! He'll get salmonella! Grabs onto Tugger's arm.
Tugger: Hey, Salmonella, who's she? Demeter faints.
Munkustrap: Runs over to Bustopher Jones. Sir, please don't eat all the turkey. We need to-
Bustopher: Nonsense! I was called out of my warm house to save millions of lives, and I am going to eat this turkey!
Munkustrap: No! I PUT MY HEART AND SOUL INTO THAT TURKEY AND I DON'T WANT IT TO BE EATEN BY A FAT, OLD, GLUTTONOUS-
Super Jerrie: Hey, uh, you moight wanna think twice.
Jemima: Oh, thank you Super Jerrie! Thank you for saving us!
Munkustrap: Stifles his anger.. Yes, Super Jerrie. Thank you for saving the day.
Super Jerrie: Don't thank me, it's moi job!
Bustopher Jones: I have a wonderful idea! Munkustrap and all his family and Jemima can come over to our house for Thanksgiving.
Victoria: Super Jerrie and Turbo Teazer can come too. Right Father?
Bustopher: What? Oh, of course!
Super Jerrie: That's all roight. We're having guests over tonoight.
Bustopher: Pity. Well, Munkustrap?
Demeter: The turkey has to be cooked.
Bustopher: Cooking is highly overrated. You can all have Victoria's share.
Munkustrap: Well it's better than having no turkey at all. Yes, sir, we'd like to come to your house for Thanksgiving. Right Alonzo?
Alonzo is too busy staring at Victoria to answer.
Munkustrap: Right Tugger?
Tugger is too busy thinking about Salmonella to answer.
Munkustrap: Uh...yes. Dinner would be a splendid idea.
That night at headquarters…
Mungojerrie, Rumpleteazer, Agent Tantomile, and Agent Coricopat are getting ready for a splendid Thanksgiving dinner.
Agent Tantomile: I brought mashed potatoes.
Agent Coricopat: And I brought gravy.
Rumpleteazer: What would have happened if she hadn't've brought the mashed potaotes?
Agent Coricopat: We would have used the gravy on the turkey.
Mungojerrie: Well Oi made the pumpking pie.
Rumpleteazer: And Oi made the sweet potato casserole. WITH melted homemade marshhmallows on top. Homemade marshmallows to Rumpleteazer was opening up a bag of them and putting them on herself.
A knock at the door
Mungojerrie: It must be our other agent!
Agent Coricopat and Agent Tantomile: It is.
Rumpleteazer: That freaks me out every time. Anyways, get the door for him, Mungojerrie!
Mungojerrie opens the door.
Macavity: I brought the green bean casserole.