Before Stage 1

by I Don't Want To Say Goodbye

/Ally was perfect, until she wasn't. It looks like we're back at stage 1, when she was too shy to do anything./ Something has happened in Ally's life, something that's keeping her off of her rhythm. Ally has to get back on track. But it's harder than she thought it'd be to fix herself. She's set herself back so far, it's no longer stage 1... It's even before that. AU, Auslly.

AN: Hi! This is my first fanfiction ever, so I'm not exactly sure what I'm doing... I'll figure it out, though. From what I know, I just talk for a bit up here, then I have a disclaimer, then I write? Okay...

I wanted to write this because I feel like they've turned Ally into a perfect character, and it needs to stop. Like, right now.

I don't own Austin and Ally... Yeah...

Before Stage 1

Chapter 1: Jenga and Jumbled Thoughts

Ally's POV

I... I don't understand what happened. I was great. I was perfect. I was confident. I had gotten over my stage fright. I was pretty. I had guys who liked me. I was producing an album. I was head of the glee club. I had a bunch of really good friends. All of that.. It all just fell away so quickly. You know, it kind of reminds me of that kids game, Jenga. The one where you stack up the blocks, then pull them out, and the person who pulls out the block that makes the tower topple is the loser? Yeah, that one.

It just kind of reminds me that, people can take pieces out of you, but you're not really broken until that last block is pulled out. It isn't even a big one, not really; it just happens, and it just breaks you down. And then you have to wait until someone thinks it's worth it to build you back up.

(Trust me, almost no one thinks it's worth it. No one thinks I'm worth building up. I practically crumble on my own anyway.)

Even if they do try, it's hard. Most times, they get tired of you. They stop halfway, and they just walk away. They think they can handle it before they see how much work you really are.

Other times, they finish, but they get lazy and you're built up crooked.

I don't blame them. Most of them are broken themselves. It's hard. I tried my best to fix them too, though. So many are broken, and so many are left unhealed... But they should try. They should've tried harder. You should stack people evenly, with the tiers all even and pretty, and that moment, when it's all lined up, is when you're fixed.

Needless to say, no one is fixed. There's always going to be problems. You're never going to have enough money to but that dress you really like, or have enough time in the day to work and hang out with your friends and work on your music, or have enough confidence to ask that guy out that you really like but you can't get out of the friend zone. There's so much of that, and there's so little money and time and confidence to go around. There are too many questions and not enough answers. Too many things to do and not enough time. Too many obstacles to overcome your insecurities. Too much, too much, too much; too little, too little, too little.

So many people told me I shouldn't be mourning for so long. I should've gotten over this months ago. I want to. I want to get over this so badly. I think I just can't because I'm so scared. Scared that, as soon as I let go, she's gone for good. As soon as I let go, I'll forget her and I'll never get the chance to remember her. Is it irrational to think that? Maybe. I can't help it, though. My mind thinks what it wants to think. I cannot help what thoughts I think.

And I know they're right. I've been trying so hard to get over this, to get back into the beat of life, even if it does mean I forget her. But I can't. I lost my rhythm, and I can't find it. I'm not sure if I ever will find it. Maybe I'm destined to spend the rest of my life singing the wrong words at the wrong time. But I'd really like to think that's not the case. Why am I here if I'm not meant to do something, be somebody?

I could've been that somebody. I hope I can still be that somebody. Somebody who rebuilds the Jenga tower.

AN: Wow, that made absolutely no sense whatsoever... Probably should re-edit that or something. Whatever, though! Hashtag YOLO!

Sorry if you're somebody who doesn't know what Jenga is and got really confused... my friends and I are obsessed with it, so I figured hey, why not.

Just for reference, I think all of the chapters will be about this length. I'm not very good at long chapters.

I'd love it if this got reviews. I'm very anxious to see what people think of my writing style.

Peace out,

I Don't Want to Say Goodbye