Title: My Fault

Author: Psyc0gurl0

Disclaimer: no body belongs to me.

Summary: Ricky's and Amy's kiss means more.

Authors Note: this is my first Secret life fic. The story is based right after Ricky and Amy's practicing kiss. Amy and Ben are broken up and Ashley didn't almost walk in on them. I read a spoiler and what someone wanted to happen so i decided to write it.

Chapter 1: The Kiss

His lips on mine felt perfect they melded together and he took over just like he said he would. I deepened the kiss and moved closer trailing my fingers through his hair. I forgot everything. I forgot where we were, that John was sleeping beside us, and how messed up everything was just now. The one thing I didn't forget was him. He moved his hands up and down my arms coming to settle at my waist. It felt like we kissed forever until he broke away and I was left breathing ragged. I looked into his dark brown eyes and felt myself being pulled back down to reality.

"Wow." I mumbled licking my lips self-consciously I watched his eyes look at my action and I couldn't help but smirk.

"I don't think I got enough practice in." I heard myself saying in a flirty tone. I watched his eyes widen for a brief moment then his lips matched my smirk.

"Really? You wanna practice some more?" he asked in astonishment.

It was like he was waiting for me to reject him. I laughed quietly and nodded surprised at my sudden happiness. I leaned closer to him and we started to kiss some more I felt at ease and comfortable. It was the first time I felt relaxed in months and a part of me wanted to fight it but I knew in the end it would lose. I liked Rickey and I would always like Ricky it was inevitable under the circumstances. I giggled when we finally pulled apart. Ricky smiled at me and pulled me closer.

"What are you laughing about?"

"This. Us. Insanity." I said quietly.

"Yeah I know what you mean." He said joining in, in laughing.

We stopped though when John started to fuss. Our attention turned to him sleeping in his crib beside my bed. We watched him sleep for a few minutes until Ricky broke the compatible silence.

"I have a confession." He said slowly. I raised my eyebrows in response and waited for him to continue.

"Yes?" I asked when all he did was stare at me. He smirked then leaned in to kiss me. We began kissing passionately and I felt tingles all over my body. We ended up on the bed and his hands were all over my body. I gasped at how good it felt to be touched by him. I felt for the first time in months alive.

"Amy." He moaned against my lips and I felt my insides burst with an emotion I wasn't quite sure of. It was intense and it made me dizzy, but it was nice and made me feel warm. Everywhere he touched left my skin burning and somehow my shirt was off and his pants undone. Now I realized again how our situation had just happened. Suddenly he stopped kissing me and touching me, he was looking deep into my eyes now.

"Amy." He said again gently touching my head. He smoothed my hair away from my face and felt my insides flutter.

"We shouldn't do this." He began and I felt my insides run from hot to cold within seconds. I leaned away from him and took a steady breath in.

"Is it because of Adrian?" I asked quietly knowing I couldn't compete with the sultry brunette.

He laughed and shook his head, which caused me to feel surprised and a little upset. "No. John's right there and your sisters here along with your mom and dad. Plus I don't have a condom and I think one baby's enough for now." He said lightly smirking at me.

I laughed quietly and looked over at John who I'd embarrassingly forgotten about. I blushed and looked away from both of the important men in my life. I slowly edged away from Ricky and stood up.

"Your right. I don't know what I was thinking." I said avoiding his gaze.

He got off of the bed too and came close to me.

"Amy, I still have to tell you something." I nodded waiting like before for his reply.

"I like you. I like you a lot."

I raised my eyebrows at him recognizing this speech from somewhere.

"Ricky. I've heard this. This is your 'I want to sleep with a girl so I get them all in love with me so they can bone me' you did this with me. I just got pregnant." I said in a mechanical voice not even listening to the words coming out of my mouth.

Ricky glared at me. "Amy! I'm serious. I really do like you. I think I even love you."

I was quiet for a minute revealing in Ricky Underwood being in love with me and then reality struck.

"What about Adrian? You can't just do this to her…she's kinda in love with you if you didn't notice."

He glowered at me and rolled his eyes. "Adrian's a big girl she can take care of herself and she's not in love with me."

I narrowed my eyes at him and glared. "Ricky! She is in love with you. You can't deny it and if she's in love with you how do I know you're really in love with me? And what about Ben? What the hell about Ben? "

He looked down on the ground avoiding my steady gaze and I tried to stay calm and think about our next drama we had to overcome if Ricky and I got together.

"I don't know about Ben or Adrian but I know about you and I know I like you and I'm sure you like me too." He said into my eyes.

I felt every urge to believe him but I thought of all the things that have happened in the last year and how he seduces women and cheats on Adrian. I thought of how much Ben and I meant to each other and how do I know that Ricky wouldn't cheat on me or get back involved with Adrian. Nothing was permanent how did I know if Ricky's love was? I felt unsure and scared and something in my expression must have shown Ricky that.

"Amy? What's the matter? Don't you wanna be together? Don't you wanna be a family with John?"

I nodded and bit my lip wondering how to phrase my questions.

"Ricky how do I know you'll be faithful? How do I know you won't go back to Adrian?" I asked quietly staring at a stain on my floor.

I couldn't look him in the eye. I couldn't show him how vulnerable I was.

"I love you. Not Adrian. I want to be with you. Adrian and I were just sex. With you…you've changed me." He said proudly.

I smiled at him, "how have I changed you?"

He smiled his Ricky smile. "You've made me grow up."

"no John's made you grow up. How do I know that you're not just doing it because of John? You wouldn't want me if I didn't have John Ricky and you know it." I said feeling miserable.

He gently took my face in his hands and pulled me towards him. "John's here and I can't imagine a world without him so lets live in the here and now. I love you and I love John. No more Adrian and you have no more Ben." He said as if it closed the matter which we both know wasn't going to happen. We saw those two every day and they weren't going anywhere.

"What about everything else? I really don't want to put up with everyone else and I really don't want to listen to their complaints."

Ricky laughed and shook his head. "Your gonna have to. I wanna be your boyfriend, today. You're not with anyone and I'm not."

I raised an eyebrow and he sighed frustrated.

"Adrian and I are over. The next time she calls I'll tell her and she'll probably call tonight. You know how needy she is."

I rolled my eyes. "No I don't know how needy she is. I'm not the one having sex with her. Are you sure about this though? Is it the right thing to do?"

He nodded encouragingly.

"How about this. We'll date secretly for a little while and if nothing bad happens we'll tell everyone else."

I laughed softly. "Your such an optimist."

And then he leaned in and kissed me again.

I felt the kiss down to my toes.

Ricky left my house a little after two am. I told him he could take the couch but he insisted to go home because he didn't want to upset my parents. I felt sad the moment he left the house and John did too because he woke up and began to cry. I was up with him most of the night so I didn't get any sleep and I was tired getting ready for school.

"Amy you look tired, rough night?" dad asked when I came down stairs with John on my hip.

I nodded sleepily and dad smiled at me.

"Go upstairs, kid, you can go to school later. Maybe since you're this tired you should think of an alternative to going to Grant. Maybe online school?" Dad asked.

I shrugged the idea going in one ear and out the other. I was too tired to process much.

"What about French horn?"

Dad shrugged.

"You could still do the whole marching band thing but… Amy maybe it'll better to do online school and then you could juggle everything."

I nodded thinking the idea through more thoroughly. He did have a point. I could take classes whenever I had time and John wouldn't have to be in daycare as much. I didn't know what I would do about the band, I still wanted to play music and be in band but getting up each morning after being up the entire night with John was pure torture. I needed a new alternative.

"I'm going to go back to bed. Maybe get John to go to sleep too. Then I'll look into online classes and some idea about still being in band." I mumbled already heading back towards my room.

I didn't see any point besides French Horn to go to school. I wasn't dating Ben anymore and I could do without seeing perfect Grace and skanky Adrian.

I just wanted John, Ricky, and my French horn. I smiled at the idea and lay John down in his crib and I in my bed.

I slept most of the morning.

I awake midday to John crying. I got up and took him in my arms and wandered downstairs to find a sullen Ashley sitting in the kitchen. I started to make a bottle and as it heated up I turned to Ashley.

"Why aren't you in school?" I asked tiredly.

"Why aren't you?" she countered.

I sighed, "because I'm tired and I'm looking into online schooling I think. I can't take that place anymore."

She looked surprised, "what about band?"

I shrugged and took the bottle out of the microwave to test of my wrist then give to John. "I'll figure it out. I need to focus on John now and it would be so much easier if I finished school online." I said thinking about the prospect.

Ashley sighed, "I'll have to go to high school without my teen mom big sister."

I laughed quietly, "guess so. So why aren't you in school?" I asked again.

"Didn't feel like it."

I laughed and nodded watching as John ate his bottle. "I understand that."

We sat in compatible silence watching John eat. Eventually he became sleepy and I put him down for a nap. Ashley and I sat on the couch until there was a knock at the door. I went to go get it and was surprised to see Ricky.

"What's up?" I asked smiling upon seeing him. He smiled back and stepped into the house.

"I wanted to see where you were. You weren't at school."

I shrugged and looked at Ashley who rolled her eyes and left the room so we could talk. Once she was out of sight I kissed him swiftly on the lips. He was surprised but reciprocated my action.

"Why weren't you at school?" he asked as we sat on the couch.

"I was tired. Dad let me sleep and I just took care of John."

Ricky looked in the direction of John's room.

"Is he asleep?"

I nodded, "Yeah I just put him down."

Ricky nodded, "that's good. So how are you? Are you ok with last night?"

I smiled at the thought of last night, "I'm very good with last night. How are you with it?"

He nodded his smile wide. "I'm very good with last night too. I was thinking though…do you think you'd want to stay at my apartment with me tonight with John? We could try our first night as a couple."

I smiled liking the idea. "Ok. I like it. I'll tell my dad later. What time should we come by?"

Ricky shrugged reaching his hand over to put on my thigh.

"How about once I'm done with work."

I nodded, "sounds good."

He smiled again and we leaned in to kiss each other.

I felt peaceful when he left.

I rang Ricky's doorbell the exact time he told me he'd be done with work. I had John in his bassinet and I cooed down at him a bag of clothes etc in my other arm. I waited for a minute wondering where Ricky could be when I heard footsteps going up the stairs behind me.

"Finally I—Oh! Ben!" I said surprised seeing Ben behind me. He blushed and looked anywhere but at me.

"Oh, so your at Ricky's."

"Yeah…is he off yet?"

"No…He told me to come upstairs to tell you he'll be here in a few minutes some last minute stuff." Ben rambled still looking anywhere but at me. I nodded slowly, "oh that's fine. I was bringing John over so Ricky could see him. How have you been?" I asked forcing myself to make awkward small talk with my ex.

"Fine. Fine. I've been hanging out with Grace lately." He said sheepishly.

I smiled trying to be happy for him when I heard loud footsteps running up the stairs towards us. I was relieved to see it was Ricky.

"Thanks. I got the door." He said nodding at Ben then opening the door for me. We said our goodbyes to Ben then rushed into Ricky's apartment I set John down on the couch and Ricky grabbed me and kissed me.

"I missed you." He mumbled against my lips.

I giggled.

"I've missed you too. How was work?"

"Boring. How's John been?"

"The same, really." I said taking him out of his bassinet so Ricky can hold him. We played with him for a little while then got him ready for bed. We watched as he slept in his new crib in Ricky's room. We quietly closed the door and went to sit out in the main room to talk.

"So how've you really been today?" I asked kissed him as we sat on the couch.

He pulled me closer and we began to make out on the couch like two normal teenagers except we weren't with John and all.

Like last night though Ricky stopped us before things got out of control.

"I don't want to push you Amy, not again." He said pulling his shirt back on.

I nodded understanding, but wishing I didn't.

"It's ok." I said quietly.

He smiled at me and took my hand. "How did you convince your dad to let you stay?"

"I just told him that John should see you and he totally got that since he can't see Robbie. I'm surprised he's letting me stay the night though."

Ricky laughed, "How'd you get him to let you stay the night?"

"I told him I'd go to school tomorrow." We both laughed at that. We continued to talk late into the night until we began to get tired. This was when it was going to get tricky.

"I'll take the couch." Ricky said as we brushed our teeth and got ready for bed.

I shook my head. "it's your home though. I don't wanna take your bed away from you."

He shrugged and I shook my head. "It's ok Amy take the bed."

"no really, it's ok. Maybe we could both sleep in it. If it's ok with you." Ricky smiled the first shy smile I'd ever seen from him.

He nodded slowly and sent me that smile. I felt my heart melt and somehow I ended up spending the best sleep of my life in Ricky's apartment in Ricky's bed with him on one side and John on the other in his crib. I felt like everyday should be this good.

(A/n: This is just the beginning but how do you guys like it?)