Disclaimer: I do not own the marauders; I do not own any baggies of drugs either. J k owns the marauders; I hope she does not own any baggies on drugs.
Summary: Lily gets a baggie of dope for her 18birthday, marauders all join in on the party, confessions are made, friendships are made, and who the hell is Larry? Complete randomness. Rated M for drug use, slash implied, and just things kids shouldn't try at home.
Dope Smoking Confessions
The four boys and red-haired girl were looking at the small brown bag that sat gently on the table.
"Read the note again Lily…" Remus said, pushing the girl forward.
"Ahem," she cleared her throat and read:
Dear Little sister,
Happy 18th birthday!
I know we had our share of differences in the past, please accept my humble apology along with a special birthday baggy. Just roll and smoke.
Love,
Petunia Evans
They all kept staring at the bag in complete amazement.
"Is it?" James asked his girlfriend, who just shrugged.
"Could it be?" Peter deliberated.
"Didn't Filch's cat smell it?" Remus thought.
"Maybe it's not…" James ruffled his hair and looked around, and again placed his hazel eyes upon the myth of a bag.
"If it's not…" Lily continued, she then lifted her head and looked at the four marauders, "What if it is!"
"There's only one way to find out!" Sirius suddenly jumped and grabbed the bag.
"Don't use it you moron!" James bellowed and grabbed the bag away from Sirius, "What if it's poisoned?"
"What if it's not?" Sirius shrugged.
"Then we would be wasting some high quality shit…" Remus replied. The rest of the group lay there eyes upon him. "What?" He asked sourly, "I like pot!" he then crossed his arms and took a step back.
"Would Petunia really poison you Lily?" James asked.
"I don't know, I guess we could check." Lily looked around, deliberating on who would be best to try the new stash. "Here Padfoot!" she said finally, throwing the bag towards Sirius.
"Far out!" bellowed Sirius as he began to take the green substance out of the bag, he then took out his wand and went "arango-dopeo!"
The green substance rearranged itself to the form of thin cigarettes- loads of them.
"Wow…big stash…" commented Peter.
"I don't want him to die Lily…" Said James in a worried tone as Sirius began to light up the pot.
"Better him then me, or you, or Remus, and Peter won't know good dope even if it hit him in the face, Sirius was the obvious choice."
"Right…" Remus said, rolling his eyes.
"You guys worry too much!" Sirius said happily as he took another huff. "I'm a dog! I can sniff a good thing when I…sniff it!"
He threw the dope around, "Here you go, try it! Its fiiiine I tell you!"
Each took a stick of dope and started to smoke, soon enough later; they were all sitting and laughing in the smoky classroom.
"Hey…hey! You guys…" Said a bloodshot eyed Sirius with a stupid grin, "I have a confection to make!"
The rest of them glared at him stupidly.
"I, Sirius Black," He proceeded.
"I thought his name was Padfoot…Or Larry…HI LARRY!" Remus waved sleepily as James laughed and smacked his friends arm.
"NooOOoo Wemus," he said in a baby voice whispering, as not to bother Sirius, "She's Larry…" he pointed at Lily.
"ANYWAY!" Sirius grabbed his friends' attention back, "My confession is…If you scratch behind my ear…my leg will bounce!"
Peter looked at him with amazement, "Reeaaaallllyyy?" he asked.
"Sure!" Sirius said, "Wanna try Larry?"
"NooOOO!" Lily interrupted, "She's Larry!" she pointed at James.
"YOU'RE LARRY!" Remus protested.
Finally they all shut themselves up as Peter walked over and scratched Sirius's ear, causing his leg to jump, like a dog does.
They all laughed stupidly.
"You know what…." James said with teary eyes, "I have to confide a secret with you all as well…"
"What is it James?" Sirius asked in a heavy doctor-like voice and then proceeded to laugh and giggle moronically.
James lowered his head and made a finger gesture for his friends to come closer.
"I…" he whispered, "I think I'm LARRY!"
They all cooed.
"YOU'RE LARRY!"
"NO I'M LARRY!"
"Stoop!" Remus stood up, "You're James! And you're Sirius, and I…I am…Larry!"
"So not!" protested Peter and Lily couldn't help herself and smacked Remus on the head.
"You're no Larry!" she said angrily, "I was Larry first…" she crossed her arms.
"You were Lily!" Peter said.
"SAME THING! It's my dope…My birthday…"
"She's right Larry…" James told Sirius, "She should decide. Okay, what do you want Lily?"
"To be Larry…"
"NNoooOOOooo"
And they all began to fight again.
Suddenly Remus whistled loudly, catching everyone's attention.
"My dear friends," he said, taking another smoke, "I too, have a confession."
"What is it Wemus?"
"Larry!" Sirius yelled and fell to the floor laughing.
"I, Remus Lupin," he said seriously, "Am gay."
Sirius stopped laughing, and they all glared.
"NOOoooOOO"
"YES!"
"yeah?"
"Sure!" Remus shrugged, "and wait- There's more, I Remus Lupin, am gay…and I would like to shove a bottle of butterbeer up Sirius' ass, kissing him frantically.
"YOU'RE ON!" Sirius yelled happily and jumped Remus, smothering him with kisses, which quickly turned into a public makeout session.
"Well, wow…Lily…This pot..is amazing, Look what it did to Larry…"
"Yeah! And to Larry as well!" Peter added.
"God bless Petunia!" Lily said, taking another joint from the table.
"And muggle illegal substances!" James added.
Suddenly the door slammed open and the teenagers faced to door, frightened, all except from Sirius and Remus who were…busy.
There stood a skinny tall boy about their age, wearing muggle clothes. He had blond hair and a large amount of spots on his face.
"Who invited you?" Lily asked rising an eyebrow.
"More importantly, who are you?" James asked.
Behind them, Remus and Sirius were making enough noise to wake the whole bloody school.
The boy looked around, "I'm Larry! Hello!" he said, not realizing what he had just done.
"NoooOOOOooo"
A/N:
Okay. This was completely random. I was feeling a bit down and needed some silliness.
I wonder if Sirius and Remus will remember the next day…and how did Larry enter the castle anyway? Oh well…Some mysteries are just meant to stay unresolved.