She had to get out, had to get away. They knew, they had seen. She knew what came next – they would pounce. They would leap upon her, bury her, trap her.

The door! A way out! But there were voices behind it – more people, people filling the courtyard – no way to escape.

The footsteps pounded on the floors, rounded the corner. "There she is!" Men. The duke. His guards. Trapped, no way out. She ran.

The stairs were in front of her, she took them two at a time, desperately sucking in air in gasps. The footsteps were growing louder. They would catch her. Grab her, pin her to the ground, bring her in front of a snarling, clawing crowd. She had to get out. She couldn't get out.

There! Her door. Her room. Safe spot. Safe location, safe room, safe hideaway. Hers. Untouchable, unbreachable. She threw herself into it, slammed the door behind her. Had to reinforce it, couldn't let them get her. She threw her full weight against her desk repeatedly as it scraped unwillingly across the floor until it was across the door. Not enough.

Too late.

The footsteps had slowed, softened as they approached the door.

She gasped for air, unable to get enough, unable to catch her breath, the terror overwhelming. She was going to die, she was going to die, she was going to die. She lost her balance suddenly, feeling faint and dizzy. She dropped to the floor, feeling nauseous. Her hands were shaking. They wouldn't stop shaking. She couldn't catch her breath. She was going to die.

The doorknob rattled. She was going to die.

There was a pause.

She sucked air. She had to run, she had to leave. But her limbs weren't obeying her: trembling, shaky and limp. She lifted her head, and the nausea increased, the world swimming violently in front of her.

BANG! A weight thrown against the door. The desk shuddered in protest.

She screamed.

There was ice.

She was going to die. There was no way to avoid it. She curled into herself, small as she could, sobbing and gasping and shaking. Control it, control it, control it – she was going to die.

"Elsa! Elsa! What's going on? What's wrong? Please stop!"

Anna was touching her. She mustn't touch. It was dangerous for Anna to touch her. She was going to kill Anna. Anna was going to die. "GOAWAYGOAWAYGOAWAY!" She had to go she couldn't touch her.

Monster.

Clawing, grasping. They had her, on her. They were going to kill her. She had to get away. RUN.

"GET OFF ME!" She clawed out blindly, desperately. She couldn't see. Had to escape. Had to stop them from dragging her to the ground. They would kill her. They were going to kill her.

Her wrists were caught. She couldn't get free. She kicked blindly, screaming and sobbing. "Let me go, please, please, let me go!"

Somewhere, off in the distance, there was a voice. "Miss Elsa, you're safe. Miss Elsa, you're okay. Shhhhh…. Everything will be okay. You're alright. Just breathe."

She tried. Her breath shuddering in and out, breaking into quick gasps.

"Better. Try again, Miss Elsa. Nice slow breaths. You're safe. It's okay. Just breathe… nice and slow…"

She managed one… two… The panic began to subside, the edge of adrenaline fading just slightly. She could feel something, warm and solid against her back, her pinned wrists pressing her back into it. The panic started to rise again, but the voice came quietly in her ear, "You're safe, Miss Elsa. Just keeping breathing. Slowly… There you go. You can do it. Just keep breathing. You're safe. It will be okay."

One, two, three, and she broke into panting gasps, struggles through it, another long one… The panic began to ebb away. A creeping edge of exhaustion began to grow. Breathe in…. breathe out… She felt shaky, hollowed out, but she could sense her body now, felt where her elbows were bent into her stomach, her feet on the floor. She swayed with sudden sense of vertigo, but she did not fall.

"Careful, Miss Elsa."

She managed to open her eyes, just realizing they had been pressed tightly shut. She knew that voice. "Kai…?"

"Shhh, Miss Elsa. Just keep breathing. Let yourself get your bearings back."

As she breathed, bent over, staring at her shoes, she began to notice the tiny snowflakes hanging suspended, motionless in the air.

"No, no, no, please no –" She jerked her head up. The wall in front of her was covered in icicles, deadly sharp and spiky, pointed straight at her.

She broke away before Kai could tame her. "Please, Kai. You have to go. It's not safe! Please. I don't want to hurt you!" She clutched her hand, her traitorous hand to her chest, trapping it, imprisoning its terrible curse.

"Beg pardon, but it is my job to care for you. Please, will you at least sit on the bed? You need to calm down."

She stared at him in fear, but Kai refused to move, meeting her gaze placidly. "Please, Miss Elsa." Finally, she shuffled sideways to her bed, making the widest radius around Kai that she could manage.

The bed felt almost surreal beneath her. Around her, the whole room was filled with a thick blizzard of unmoving snowflakes. Icicles covered the one wall, spreading into a frost that partially spread onto the adjoining walls, floor, and ceiling. The desk stood cockeyed in the floor near the door, but the door itself was safely closed. The silence was overwhelming, oppressive, but she could not find it in her to break it. Kai continued to stand politely in the middle of her room.

After several long minutes, a false start or two, and even longer pauses, she managed to force the wobbling words past her lips. "Kai, I need to go."

"Go where, m'lady?"

"Away," she pleaded. "Please, to protect Arendelle, I have to… It's not safe."

"I'm afraid, m'lady, that you cannot just leave. You are the queen."

"Anna can be queen. She would be better at it anyway. She could keep the gates open all the time. They would love her… You can't help but to love her."

"They love you too, m'lady. Everyone in the kingdom has the greatest respect for you."

"They won't, not anymore." Kai did not respond. She backwards onto the bed, staring at the ceiling. She felt exhausted, drained, worn out, hollow… She felt like she didn't know what way was up anymore. Disoriented.

"I could have killed you, Kai," she sighed. A sudden terrible recollection hit her. "Anna! Where is Anna, is she okay, did I hurt her-?"

Kai blocked the door. "Your sister is fine, merely very worried about you."

"Kai, I've ruined everything. I can't control this power. I've never been able to. It's not safe for me to be queen."

"M'lady, you have been our queen for the last three years and you have done as splendid a job as any of us could have hoped for. If managing your powers means there are no more balls, I think we can manage that."

"But Anna –" Anna who couldn't live like this anymore, who couldn't stand the isolation, who couldn't understand that Elsa didn't want to be locked up in this castle any more than her but didn't have a choice.

"Perhaps some occupations could be found for Anna outside the castle. Some diplomatic trips perhaps, or making appearances at some of the local festivals."

"But Papa always said that one of us appearing and not the other would confuse the populace, divide their loyalties."

"M'lady, I am just a butler. I cannot pretend wisdom in such political matters. I can say that perhaps you ought to give your people a chance and not write them off so readily." Elsa sighed. She didn't know what to think anymore. "I beg pardon for my forwardness, but I believe I may also suggest that perhaps such a drastic action as abdicating may be better made after discussing the matter with your council."

"Kai, if anyone here has the right to be forward it's you… You are right that I should discuss it with the council first. To do otherwise would be irresponsible… I'm not very good at this. They will let me abdicate won't they? They have to, the kingdom isn't safe otherwise."

"M'lady, your council are all highly experienced and intelligent individuals. Trust them enough to come to their own conclusions."

"I feel as if you're scolding me, Kai."

"No, m'lady. It is not my place. I am simply attempting –"

"It's alright. I suppose I deserve it. I'm being very dramatic aren't I?" She tried to pass it off as a self-deprecating joke, but it came out more bitter than she intended.

"Not very dramatic, m'lady."

Elsa smiled, just a little bit, beginning to feel a bit more like herself again. "Thank you, Kai. Really..." For risking his life to calm her, for talking to her, for not flinching, for staying in a lonely and empty castle all these years, for the sweets and piggyback rides when she was little… "Thank you."

Kai smiled warmly. "Miss Elsa, I have watched you and your sister grow since you were born. I will always be there when you need me."

A great wave of relief swamped her, nearly threatening to overcome her. She closed her eyes, trying to control her breathing to steady herself. She could do this – whatever 'this' was. She would be okay.

"M'lady…?"

"Yes, Kai?"

The little snowflakes, that before had hung so still in the air, were… disintegrating. They broke into little powdery pieces that seemed to float, growing more transparent, until they were gone. She spun about; the icicles were still there, but they had lost their terrifying sharpness. They glistened and sparkled with the moonlight coming through the windows, looking all the world like glass decorations.

"But how…?" She stared at her hands, one gloved and the other bare. They looked no different, refusing to yield their secrets. "I didn't…" She looked to Kai, who simply reflected her confusion.

There was a polite knock on the door. "Kai?"

Kai looked to Elsa. Elsa spoke, "It's alright, Gerda. You may come in."

She bustled in, closing the door behind her and taking her place at Kai's side. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but Princess Anna is quite concerned for you. Also, we have dispersed the party in the courtyard, but we weren't sure if you would want to address the guests in the ballroom."

Elsa rubbed her forehead. Of course. She would have to talk to them. The duke. What was she going to say? "Please send Princess Anna in. And I will talk to the guests as soon as we are done. If you could make sure that there is enough food and drink, and try to keep them all relatively… happy," she winced at the word, "until I can address them."

"Of course, m'lady."