Title: Duel Monsters Next Top Model (1/?)
Author: Mishiko Shinsei
Rating: NC-17 (eventually)
Pairing (s): Various
Beta: None
Spoilers: Minor for the series
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in Yu-gi-Oh, just the cracked-out stories I write about them.
Summary: Pegasus is crazy. He draws two other crazies with him, Dartz and Siegfried von Schroeder. Together the three make our beloved duelists an offer they can't refuse. Warnings for crack! and slight OOC-ness.
Week minus 2
Seto Kaiba turns the tacky green and pink striped invitation over in his hands.
'Duel Monsters Next Top Model… What the hell is Pegasus up to now?' he muses.
The sound of his cell phone interrupts his opening the envelope.
"Kaiba!" he answers, balancing the phone on his shoulder as he scans the particulars of the event.
"Guten Tag, Herr Kaiba," a heavily accented voice comes over the phone.
"What the hell do you want, Sieg?"
The CEO doesn't bother to ask how the master hacker and fellow CEO obtained his cell number. After the forth time changing it from Seigfried von Schroeder hacking it, Seto decided that it wasn't worth the headache. Besides, once Schroeder Corp. was acquired by Industrial Illusions, he'd had to get used to talking to the prissy, pink, pain in the ass on a regular basis anyway.
"Now, Herr Kaiba, is that anyway to address your business partner?"
"You have 10 seconds before I hang up," Seto growls.
"Tsk. Then I suppose I should just get right to the point."
"…5…4…3…"
"Have you received your invitation from Herr Crawford, Herr Kaiba?"
"And what if I have?"
"Good! I'm sure that with you attending, it will be a great success!"
"And why the hell would I want to enter a modeling competition? That would be a complete waste of valuable Kaiba Corp. time. And I certainly wouldn't waste my personal time on such crap," he sneers, tossing the hideous envelope and its contents into his paper can.
"Perhaps you should ask your brother what he thinks, Herr Kaiba," Siegfried replies almost too smoothly.
"Mokuba would say the same thing. Now get the hell off my phone, Seig!"
"Oh, but I insist, Herr Kaiba," the other hisses into the phone.
Seto is about to slam the phone shut when he hears what sounds to be a struggle on the other end of the line and a muffled, "Let go of me, you asshole!"
"Mokuba?" he murmurs incredulously.
"Yes, Herr Kaiba. I insist that you ask your little brother what he thinks of you declining our invitation, " the pink-haired menace laughs lightly before Seto hears the click of a speaker phone coming on.
"S-Seto?" his brother inquires shakily. "Is that you? They said that they were calling you."
"Yes, Mokuba, it's me," Seto affirms, his mind racing, trying to figure out how and when that German nutball got a hold of his brother. "Are you alright?"
"Yeah, just a few scrapes from trying to fight off their goons. But Oscar and Chaz…"
Seto understands Mokuba's trailing off at the names of his bodyguards. Either they were hurt severely or they were dead, since neither of the two knew the meaning of giving up.
"I understand, Mokuba. I'll take care of it."
"They said that you wanted to ask me a question, Seto. Something about Pegasus' latest Duel Monsters contest."
"Yes, Herr Kaiba," Siegfried snorts with amusement. "Why don't you ask him what he thinks?"
"That won't be necessary," Seto replies, retrieving the gaudy invite from the trash. "I'll be there at the start of the festivities."
"Excellent, Herr Kaiba! I'm glad we understand each other." Seto can almost see the hacker's smug grin on the other end of the line.
"Of course, once I show up, I expect that Mokuba will be there to see me and then be sent home," he asserts, careful not to growl into the phone.
"No, I'm afraid Mokuba will have to remain our…guest for as long as you are part of the contest. You understand, don't you, Herr Kaiba."
"You know I will get you and Pegasus for this, Sieg," he snarls, all restraint gone.
"Yes, yes! But by then the event will be a complete success! And after all, you wouldn't want to mar your excellent reputation by being involved in anything untoward happening to your business partners."
"You won't even see it coming," Seto murmurs menacingly. "And I'll be sure to make it look like an unfortunate accident."
"Yes, well," Siegfried clears his throat nervously, "We'll just jump off that bridge when we get to it, won't we?"
"It won't save you from me," he growls, slamming the phone closed.
He doesn't waste time tracing the call, knowing that Sieg probably has the call bouncing off of a tower in Istanbul or somewhere equally as far from his actual location.
"Which could be anywhere on the planet," he grumbles to himself, swinging into action to first find out what's happened to Oscar and Chaz and then finding all about Pegasus' latest idiocy.
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"Yugi, stop that," Anzu giggles as her fiancée shamefully gropes her behind as she opens their apartment door.
They'd gone out with the gang for their usual Thursday night dinner and since neither had to work the next day, they'd both had a bit more sake than normal and were feeling little pain.
Not to mention they were also both horny as hell. The cab ride home had been quite an exercise in restraint, surprisingly just as much for Anzu as Yugi. Normally, they'd get at least a good morning kiss or late evening cuddle in, but they hadn't spent any time together for more than a week due to her extensive rehearsal and performance schedule.
Swinging open the door, they head inside, kissing and groping with wild abandon, absently closing the door behind them. As they stumble down the hall past the living room to go into their bedroom, someone loudly clearing their voice startles them. Breaking apart for a moment, Yugi hears a sigh of, "Young love, how quaint," before a blow to the back of his neck sends him into oblivion.
The incessant ringing of his cell phone awakens him hours later, face down on his bed, a hideous green and pink striped envelope under his head.
"H'lo," he slurs into the stylish Helio, head ringing from more than just the sake.
"Yugi? Yugi, man, are you all right?" A familiar voice calls to him frantically.
"Jou?" Yugi replies shakily, still very disoriented.
"Man, you don't sound too good. I'm on my way to your place. Lots of bad stuff is going down. I'll be there in five." He hangs up and Yugi drops the phone to the bed, suddenly desperate for some water and a painkiller.
"Anzu?" he mumbles, hoping his wife-to-be hasn't gone out. "Can you get me some water and an aspirin? Anzu?"
Groggily, he makes his way to the bathroom to relieve his most pressing need before washing his hands and shuffling out into the living room, wishing he'd stopped at the second bottle of sake instead of helping Anzu and Jou finish a forth.
"Anzu?"
Looking around the living room, he spots a note on the coffee table.
"Hmm. She must have gone out," he mumbles, picking up the folded paper and flopping boneless onto the couch.
"Owww," he moans, clutching his head. "That was stupid. I swear I'm never drinking that much sake again."
Slowly unfolding the paper, he reads the note, his brow furrowing as the words written bring the memory of what happened last night screaming back at him.
"That bastard," he swears, crumpling the note in his hand just as Jou's emergency key to their apartment turns in the lock.
"Yug'? Man, are you in here?" he calls.
"Living room," Yugi manages.
Jou comes storming in, a crumpled note of his own in one hand and a folded pink and green striped envelope sticking out of the front pocket of his jean jacket.
"Pegasus…" Yugi uncharacteristically growls at the sight.
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By the end of the day, the bulk of the Yugi-tachi are crowded in Yugi's living room, each of them holding their own garish pink and green invitation and several of them holding hand-written notes from their loved ones.
Yugi has a note from Anzu, Jou has one from Shizuka, Yami's note is from Grandpa and Malik's is from Ishizu.
"I always knew Pegasus was a crazy bastard, but to kidnap our loved ones so that we'd participate in a modeling contest…? That dude is truly loony tunes," Honda snorts.
"Yeah, but since we don't know where he's keepin' 'em, we don't have a choice but to go along," Jou inserts.
"But what if he doesn't get all the participants he wants?" Ryou interjects. "Will he punish the hostages for that?"
"Kami, I hope not," Otogi replies, certain that both Jou and Honda would probably be in jail for murder if anything happened to Shizuka.
"So we're just going to let that fucker push us around?" Bakura growls. "Well, I'm not doing it! You idiots can jump through hoops if you want to, but I'm gonna spend my time elsewhere."
"I'm doing it," Ryou affirms.
"So am I," Malik pipes up.
"Ryou, I forbid you to…"
"You…forbid?" the slightly smaller white-haired male snips at his counterpart.
"Um…that is…whatever! It's your stupid life," the former tomb robber grumbles, crossing his arms across his chest and turning away.
"Only because they have Ishizu, will I sully myself with this idiocy," Marik sneers. "And maybe to have a little fun…"
"I'll go just to keep an eye on you, Ryou," Bakura mumbles.
"So, we're all agreed that we'll see this through to the end or until we can figure out how to get our loved ones back?" Yugi inquires to the group.
Affirmative nods are received from everyone present.
"Okay, let's call around and see who else is invited and who's actually coming. Maybe we can get some help," the smaller tri-colored male plots.
All present pull out their cell phones and start dialing.
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Noa Kaiba slowly opens his eyes, blinking languidly as consciousness takes hold of him.
Turning his head to the right, he looks around the room he's lying in. Sterile, cold, but not a hospital. As his mind suddenly catches up to him, he realizes how wrong this all is because…
'I'm dead,' he remembers.
"How…?" he rasps, lifting a hand to run through his hair, a nervous habit retained from when he was a child.
"Ah, you're awake," an oddly accented male voice notes from his left.
"W-who…?" his voice sounds and feels scratchy as he turns to address the person entering the room.
"I'm Dartz," the other smiles lightly. "And you, Noa Kaiba, are alive because I need you to help me and my allies take down your step-brother."