By: Ami
Beta Reader: kitsune-oni
-- Let It Rain --…I wrote another slight angst? ;; Why the hell am I so dark lately?! Promise you more humor soon!
DISCLAIMER : We have Seiten Taisei Son Goku, we have Nataku Taishi, we have Homura-sama, we have Sanzou-sama, but still, Mine-sama is the strongest in Saiyuki.
GENRE : Romance/General
RATING : PG-13
PAIRINGS : Goku/Sanzou
TRAILER : One rainy day, Goku feels uneasy. He wonders what he means for Sanzou. Sanzou soon comes to answer him…
WARNING : slight angst, shounen ai, fluff, curses, hopefully, it didn't turn out OOC.
Here we go…
Today was a typical Sanzou-ikkou day. In the front seat, Sanzou was grumpy and Hakkai was smiling; in the back seat Goku was hungry and Gojyo was horny. The appearance never changed. It was still a very typical and ordinary day. It was sunny and bright too. But nobody knew, what was inside a certain saru's brain at the time…
"What do I mean for you?"
Goku closed his eyes at his thought.
That was the question he had been itching to ask Sanzou.
He didn't know why, the question had just somehow popped out of his brain.
He needed to know — badly.
"What are you thinking about?" Gojyo examined him carefully. "Don't think too much. You're not an expert in this subject."
Unusually, Goku just turned his back on Gojyo. He wasn't in the mood to fight.
Gojyo sighed and felt a bit annoyed. Until that time, he had never failed to provoke the monkey. This incident sure had spoiled his golden 'I SUCCESSFULLY TEASED THE SARU' record. But he also knew how Goku felt. Whenever Goku was quiet, there was only one possibility: Genjo Sanzou.
"The bouzu is always like that," Gojyo spoke without looking at Goku, "You know it better than I do."
Goku didn't answer.
People said he was stupid. But he actually wasn't. He could think too, you know.
He had been living with the grumpy monk for the longest time a living thing could. It was a pure miracle that he had annoyed the always-furious-Genjo-Sanzou-sama for more than 7 years without getting killed. The world shook at the truth that Sanzou actually had kept someone beside him.
Since his master's death, Sanzou had been locking himself in a cage of his own creation. He refused to be attached to ANYTHING. He refused to lose something precious again. He refused to feel a feeling called love. He refused to take the risk. He refused to feel sorrow.
When it was rainy, Sanzou would recall the bitter memories of his past. The smell of rain reminded him of the smell of his master's blood. The smell of rain was somehow fascinating. The way the water fell onto the ground, wetting the plants… Rain was somehow sad. When it was raining, it seemed that the sky was crying. Rain were tears… at least for Sanzou.
Goku hadn't always hated rain. He actually had liked to play under it. Rain was good. Without rain, who would water the plants? Without rain, there wouldn't be life. Without rain, there wouldn't be food. Without rain…
Goku pinched his nose at the smell of rain, his brain automatically displaying the image of a sad Sanzou next door.
He sat up and opened the curtain.
Now he hated rain.
Without rain… Sanzou would probably be a bit gentler and kinder.
Without rain… he would probably get more than what he had.
Without rain… Sanzou… would probably have been his…
Goku clenched his jaw and punched the wall in front of him.
Damn the rain. Damn the lightning. Damn the cloudy days. Damn it. Damn it all.
Goku looked out the window angrily.
If only he could stop the rain…
"It's no use."
Goku shook at the familiar baritone voice. Almost reflexively, he turned his back on the window and tried to recognize the stranger in the shadows. His golden orbs shimmered. He knew who it was.
"You can't stop the rain." Lavender eyes pierced directly in to his heart. "That's not something you can do."
Goku gulped and felt his cheeks warm slightly. He had forgotten Sanzou could always hear his voice inside his mind. So practically, whatever he thought, Sanzou knew about it too.
//So it means that he also knows what I feel for him.// Goku bit his bottom lip in disappointment. //Then how could he keep facing me so chilly?//
"What are you doing here, Sanzou?" he finally managed to ask.
"I've come to silence you," Sanzou answered as his right hand brought a cigarette to his lips. "You noisy thing."
"Right." Goku smiled bitterly. "I'm really noisy."
"If you already know about it, then shut up." Sanzou glared at him. "I'm not in the mood to cuddle you."
"You never are." Goku narrowed his golden eyes at the lavender ones. "You never do."
Sanzou snorted and casually entered the room before closing the door behind him. Goku felt an unusual uneasiness as the monk leaned closer to him. He had just realized that Gojyo wasn't in his bed again. His mind cursed the kappa for not being there when he really needed him.
"What are you afraid of?" Sanzou looked at him carefully. "Are you afraid of me?"
Goku turned his face away and felt a tear form in his eyes. When it came to Sanzou, he always lost his cool. Suddenly he became the world's biggest chicken.
"No," he forced the word out.
Sanzou pushed the boy firmly against the wall and gazed at the golden orbs. "Liar."
"You are the liar." Goku looked back. "You taught me to lie."
"Nonsense—"
Goku leaned forward and planted a kiss on Sanzou's lips.
"What am I to you?"
"What do I mean in your life?"
"Am I just your pet?"
"Am I just your slave?"
"Am I just your toy?"
"Tell me."
"Let me know."
"Because I'll tell you…more than anything, you are my everything."
Sanzou smiled faintly as the voice passed through his mind.
//Noisy monkey.//
"Without you." Sanzou put a hand on Goku's chocolate locks. "My life would be much quieter."
"Without you, my life would be much duller."
"Without you, my life would be less bothersome."
"Without you, there'd be no meaning in my life."
"Without you, I would have been sitting in my office all day and finishing all the paperwork."
"Without you, I would have died of boredom and stress."
"Without you…" Sanzou gazed the golden orbs lovingly. "I wouldn't be what I am now."
Goku blinked and tried to translate his master's statements.
It was so unfair! Sanzou could read his mind but he couldn't even translate one of Sanzou's statements!
Leaving the confused saru, Sanzou moved away and opened the door. "Sleep now."
Goku pouted and watched the monk until he couldn't see his shadow again.
Goku touched his chest and listened to his heartbeat.
Somehow his heart felt happier now. Sanzou's words were calming, though they weren't THAT romantic at all. Sanzou always had his own way to reach Goku's heart, even with some whacks on his scalp.
Goku smiled. He was far happier now. The sound of the rain didn't reach him anymore.
But…
"I still can't get it at all," he groaned, exhausted, before throwing himself on to the bed and dozing off in a few minutes.
***
Gojyo smirked as Sanzou walked out of the room.
"Are you done with your sentimental conversation with your little saru?"
Sanzou stopped and shot him a cold 'shut-up' look.
"My, my… is this your way to thank an abandoned handsome guy who, modestly, let you have some private time to do 'this' and 'that' with your pet in his room?" Gojyo feigned sadness.
"Cut it off. Stop acting modest. Not with that terrible appearance of yours," Sanzou snorted.
"Oops…" Gojyo soon noticed a faint bruise on his neck. He grinned and walked casually back to his and Goku's room. "Tell Hakkai maybe tomorrow I can start sharing a room with him."
"I'm not your messenger."
"I'll tell the saru the same thing. Deal?"
"……… Whatever."
And that night, for the first time in his 23 years of life, Sanzou slept soundly during the hard rain.
More than anything,
You're my everything.
~ Ami
October 17th 2003
~ OWARI ~