Puppy's Post It: I've been writing this for a while now, and I decided I wanted to post it before I went off to this winter sleep away camp tomorrow (which means if this gets any reviews I won't be able to reply to them right away u.u I will once I get back though!) This is just something I'm doing for the heck of it. Arf arf, I have a LOT of head canons for how Sabo may have found out about Ace dying, but for some reason I wanted to go with the one where he had a more emotional reaction. I'll warn you now though; I'm not very good at writing sad things, so don't be afraid to tell me if this didn't so much as make you frown Q.Q It'll help me grow as a writer, so I'll really appreciate it, arf! Also, we dunno much about Koala's grown-up personality as of yet, so yeah... Went with my gut here X3 And you can see this as either Sabo and Koala nakama-ship or as a pairing, whichever you'd like, arf! Mer, I really hope y'all like this, it'd be like so sad for me if I came back and any reviews I might've got were like "-.-' No comment." QAQ Arf arf, now on to the one-shot! :D
Disclaimer: "Do I own One Piece now?" No. "Do I own One Piece now?" No. "Do I own One Piece now?" Still no. "Do I own One Piece now?" NO! "...How about now?" -.-" "...So do I? *shot* QAQ"
This shouldn't have happened. No, It couldn't have happened. It was simply impossible. It had to be. Simply impossible.
He'd been telling himself that for a while now. That it was impossible for him to be gone. It wasn't right or fair or even logical. And Sabo knew those things well.
His chest constricted painfully, heart lurching and shoving around within him like it wanted to runaway; he wouldn't want to stay in his own body either. It hurt just to think of it. That his firey older brother, the one he used to always watch out for, whether it be assisting in a hunt or just being there, that his older brother was...
The blonde curled up farther into himself, pushing more into the corner of the small dark cabin. It was impossible... right? It was some kind of sick joke he wasn't about to laugh at. ...He seriously felt like dying. Like, he should just implode painfully and call it a day. It was just hurt too much, thinking that Ace, that he... No. It wasn't-
Deny it all you want, a traitorous little voice in his head hissed, but the facts wont change, baka; he's gone.
Gone. It was true, he knew. When he'd seen the newspaper during this now laughably insignificant surveillance mission, there really was no way around that cold truth; that Ace was gone. The same newspaper lay hauntingly beside him, crumpled and uncrumpled and torn and tear stained. It was face up though, he knew, and on the front page was the somehow still intact picture of... of...
The pain in his chest intensified. If he'd only been there! He could have prevented this. He could have stopped his brother's demise, his brother's nakama's grief, his younger brother's...
Luffy.
Was he even alright now?...What was he talking about, of course he wasn't. The man- no, the boy, watched his older brother die in his arms in the middle of a war. Not only that, he had no idea where his other brother was.
The guilt he felt was overwhelming. He could have done something. He could have made the difference. He could've fixed this. It was all his fault, all his fault, all his fault... What a crappy, shameful brother he was.
Sabo had long forgotten the other revolutionary present, the one who had shown him the newspaper on their small assignment ship that evening. She had been so silent since he sat there, it wasn't hard too.
"...There really was nothing you could do, you know. It was a a matter of circumstance. Don't blame yourself for anything."
Her voice cut through the self-loathing turmoil of his mind, bringing him back to reality and finally aware of her presence. He didn't acknowledge it, though. He just tightened his grip around his knees.
Gentle hands grasped his shoulder- when had she gotten so close? -squeezing them in a universal gesture of 'everything is going to be alright'. But that wasn't the case. Nothing was going to be 'alright'. Ever again.
"Sabo..."
His companion slid down the wall, sitting next to him and pulling her own knees up to her chest.
"There really was nothing we could do..." She repeated, voice quieter. The usual smile in her voice, Sabo noted, was gone, something that rarely happened. "I'm sorry."
"You don't have any reason to apologize, Koala." Sabo whispered, frowning internally at how weak and unfamiliar even to him it sounded. "There was a LOT that could've been done. If I'd-"
"Don't base this on what ifs. Lots of things 'could've been done'; What if Luffy'd died too? The marines could've killed two birds with one stone, or they could've signed their death warrants when his allies found out. What if Whitebeard hadn't been killed in battle? He could've convinced Ace to ignore that Akainu's insults, or he maybe he couldn't have. What if Aokjji hadn't frozen the tsunami Whitebeard made? The war could've ended before it'd even begun, or could've drowned Ace as well."
Sabo looked up a bit, only a little, but he was sure he was glaring her death hard enough for her to see. Koala was being kind of reasonable, another traitorous little voice in his head decided. But the rest of him obviously didn't like her argument. She pressed on anyway, undeterred.
"What if you'd gone? You could've saved Ace; or not. A what if question is just a what if. You'll never know for sure."
"But it's better than doing nothing!" Sabo hated the harsh tone he used, the way his voice cracked, the way his head rose, the way his eyes narrowed in anger and hurt and endless guilt.
"..." Koala was silent a moment, staring at him with narrowed eyes, expression unreadable. She was smiling again, but it lacked any form of mirth.
"But nothing could've been done. Like I said, it was a matter of circumstance. Even if you'd gone, what would have changed? There's no answer to a question like that. For all we know... you could've died too. And left Luffy brother less. And left us."
Koala reached out her other hand and brushed away a tear trailing down Sabo's cheek with her thumb. He hadn't even been aware he was crying until she did so, and he realized he must have been doing so for quite a while; he could feel the tear stains soaked on his face.
"A lot of things could've happened, a lot of what ifs could've taken place; but like I said, there's no answer to a question like that, Sabo. None... So please, don't blame yourself."
Sabo's brow furrowed a bit and he looked away from her, burying his face back into his arms and knees and staying silent. He'd never cried in front of Koala before... The blonde would've preferred to keep face, but he couldn't bring himself to be embarrassed now. He was actually kind of glad to have someone here, all of a sudden.
The hand on his shoulder slipped around him, pulling him closer to the girl next to him in a one armed hug. Nothing else was said.
Sabo leaned his head onto her shoulder, suddenly limp, and choked on one of many inevitable sobs. It wasn't like the guilt was gone, despite Koala's words. Unlike Ace... He wished he at least got to talk to him before his death. Got to inform his brother he was ok. Heard his voice, saw his smile, laughed with him, one last time. But it wasn't meant to be.
"...Besides," Koala murmured after a long while, pulling him even closer as if to protect him from anymore pain the world might want to throw his way. It might not have shown, but Koala's heart broke seeing her blonde partner and long time friend so broken down.
She dared to rest her chin upon the blonde's head, knowing how prideful he could be and satisfied when she met no resistance.
"You still have Luffy, right? And me, and Dragon; all the revolutionaries."
Sabo's breath hitched, snot and tears flowing with renewed fervor at Koala's next words; reminding him more of what he'd lost and what he still had. Of what he had realized he'd forgotten.
"You're not alone."
2 Years Later
Sabo stood up, smiling softly at the gravestone he'd been having a full blown conversation with not too long ago.
"Ace... Don't worry." He said, deciding it was about time he concluded his talk with his brother. "I'll make it up to you, not being there. And maybe one day I'll find a way to make it up to Luffy, too. It's about time I saw him, anyway."
The blonde glanced at the newspaper article of said Strawhat-bearing boy pinned to the grave, grinning, and then glanced down at the 3 sake cups on the crate one more time, grinning widely. Finally, he shifted his gaze to gravestone again.
"He'll probably punch the crap out of me. But I guess I kinda deserve it." Sabo laughed, putting a hand on his hat before turning around.
"I should get going. But Ace," He started, his grin widening as he started to walk away from the grave.
"I believe you truly lived a life without regrets."
The blonde said nothing after that, taking the time it took to walk through the grassy fields to think about how he wished he could say the same about himself.
He hasn't realized he'd already walked back toward the boat until a cheerful, familiar voice piped up directly in front of him.
"Sulking again?"
Sabo's head shot up, making a mental note to pay more attention to his surroundings as he glared half-heartedly at the smirking caramel-haired girl.
"No!"
Koala laughed at his instant denial, further flustering the young man and making him pout a bit.
"So, how was it?" She asked once her giggles subsided, smiling cheerily at him.
Sabo smiled back a bit. "...It was nice. I haven't felt so light in a while. It felt good to talk to him."
Koala hummed, waiting for him to continue as she could tell he had more he wished to say. Sabo put a hand on his hat and sighed.
"I made a promise to Ace while we were speaking." Sabo murmured, looking up at the sky as he spoke. The sun warmed his face, shining hot and bright upon him. He squinted at it, grinning slightly.
"I'm going to get his devil fruit. Remember that colosseum event that's supposed to happen at Dressrosa? The prize?"
Koala's smile grew wider. "The moment you found out I knew you'd want to go."
"I have to!" Sabo looked back at her, gap-toothed grin widening. "Luffy's gonna be there, I know it. And Ace's will... The two of us, we must inherit it!"
Koala giggled. "Come on, then. We don't have a lot of time, so we'd better get moving." She turned and trotted toward the shore, where in the waters a large revolutionary ship was docked.
Sabo followed after her, but not before glancing over his shoulder at the two graves far behind him. Silently he tipped his hat to Whitebeard's, then gazed at Ace's, smile never leaving his face.
"I'll keep my promise, Ace. Ill take back your ability. And I'll protect our little brother."
He looked forward once again, tipping his hat back up as he began to walk. "No matter what. I'll remind him he's not alone."
Puppy's Post It: Well this happened. In my head, at least. What do you think, peeps who read this? Please review, it'll give me something to look forward too when I get back, arf arf :3 For once I don't have something to ramble about... maybe it's cuz Ima tired and I need to rest so I can get up early tomorrow and head for camp =.= I hope you enjoyed! Now biscuits! Biscuits for all! Arf, extra biscuits for reviewers ;)