hey guys, I hope you cry during this, but I suck at writing so you probably won't. I just wanted you all toknow what goes through the mind of a depressed person everyday. Trust me, it hurts when your heart is broken. And when its acvompanied by death I can only imagine. But to all of you, if you love someone, make sure they love you back first, otherwise it hurts like hell.
Soul pov
I know I am in danger. I know this is not good for me. I know I should tell someone. But I can't. If I do, they will get me help, therapy even. They will suck the life out of me with all that shitty logic. I need to stop this. I wish I wanted to, but I don't. I almost do, but for some unknown reason, I don't. Wait, no I lied I know exactly why I don't want to stop. The pain is like nicotine. You know you should stop, but you love it. I have been cutting since I was about 11 years old. My heart got broken by the one I love. Maka. She didn't mean to, but now she is dead. And I can't do anything about it now. I know when I am going to kill myself to. I know how, and where. I am going to hang myself. After graduation of my senior year at high school. After that, I'm gone. It is so close, but so far away. It is the third quarter of school. I am thinking of this as I pull my pocket knife out from inbetween my feather pillow and and my black pillow case with her face on it. Her beautiful face that I will never see alive again. Soon, maybe I will be with her. Maybe. It depends. I do not know for sure what will happen when I die. Maybe heaven is real, maybe not. There is no way of knowing untill you actually die. And I will know soon. And I cant wait. Its not like anyone will care when it does happen. I don't have friends at school. My family is all dead. Maka is dead. Dead. Like I soon will be. Dead. I can't wait. Death will be the escape I always wanted. I had a little sister. She was murdered by my mother who also killed my father. Then herself. She killed everyone she loved. She didn't bother with me. She didn't love me. She didn't care. Niether does anybody else. So I don't even know why I'm waiting till I graduate. Maybe I can just kill myself now. On a tree in a park. It is about midnight after all. Not many people would be there. Yes. Now. I will be able to end it all finaly. No more suffering. No more pain. No more sadness. No more... I tie the rope around my neck. Then the other end to the tree. My feet are no longer touching the ground. I smile as I feel myself slipping away slowly but surely. And as I leave my life, I say one final word. "Maka..."