Jamie toed open the door to Eddie's apartment that had been left slightly ajar at his request via text. Both hands were full of large, hot cups of coffee and his overnight bag was on his shoulder. He used his foot to push the door closed and made his way into her apartment.
"Hey," she called from across the room, seated at her desk in front of her laptop.
"Hey. Still excited about tonight?" He smirked at the unenthused grunt she responded with. He crossed to her, setting both cups of coffee on the desk and dropping his bag to the floor. He had been in her apartment countless times, but he realized this was the first time he had been so close to her desk. It didn't surprise him, but it was so different from his own. His was sparse and functional while hers had colorful notepads and different sized cups and containers for all sorts of things. His eyes drifted across some of the stuff randomly scattered on the desk, lipgloss, hand lotion, a miniature slinky; he could never work that way. He noticed a french memo board hanging on the wall to the right of her desk covered with cards, invitations, and several photographs. "Is that-" he moved behind the chair she was sitting in to look closer at the holiday card to read the names, confirming it was "-Kasia and Baltazar?" The photocard read Happy Holidays across the bottom of a picture of the unconventional-looking couple standing in front of a cruise ship, dressed in tropical attire each also donning bright red Santa hats. "You still talk to her?"
"Yeah, sometimes." Eddie was still typing so she didn't notice him looking at her. He was wondering how she was able to so genuinely connect with people and create friendships with them. He could think of at least five people in their precinct who he would have never gotten to know personally if not for her. She went out of her way to meet her neighbors. Even the barista where he had just picked up coffee gave Jamie an earful about a new yoga class to pass along to Eddie. "We did go to their wedding reception." She cut off his thoughts as she glanced up at him and closed her laptop.
He turned back to the board and pointed to a different picture. "What's this about?"
She rolled her eyes, "Don't get too proud of yourself. You're not the only one who made it onto the board." He scanned the other pictures, stopping at the one Eddie was pointing to.
In the photograph was Kara, arm draped over Eddie's shoulder while Eddie, shorter, had her arm loosely slung at Kara's waist, both women wearing boxing gloves and euphoric post-workout smiles, proud of their best and last workout with their shared trainer. Jamie looked a little too long at Eddie in that picture. He could tell she was on the verge of laughing; her whole face was lit up, the messy bun on top of her head tipped to the side, and she was slightly bent forward, her toned tan abs exposed by the sports bra and shorts she was wearing. She was sweaty and intentionally flexing her arms and Jamie realized it wasn't the first time he had to distract himself from getting aroused by how tough she was while still being completely feminine and sexy. He flicked his thumb and forefinger at the picture placed higher, the one he originally asked her to explain. "You look twelve in this one." He playfully nudged her shoulder as he walked to the couch.
Actually, in the picture he asked about, she looked over the moon. It was a selfie she had taken of the two of them together in uniform at her first Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, the bottom of an unidentifiable float passing behind. That year was Jamie's first chance to bid for a shift other than dreaded Parade Duty and he had every intention of doing so. When Eddie, full of rookie enthusiasm, excitedly told him she had signed them up and they had been assigned the parade route, he seriously, although fleetingly, contemplated if he could work with her much longer. He had managed to work some connections to get them on a relatively-quiet part of the route where there were still crowds, but not 34th Street crowds. During the parade she'd noticed a lull and giddily suggested they take a quick selfie. He agreed and while she had that dazzling smile and the excitement was clear in her blue eyes, he just smirked, knowing the charm would be worn for Eddie by the end of tour. But it wasn't. Every year she signed them up for Parade Duty and every year he showed up with Henry's Famous Thanksgiving breakfast sandwiches. Jamie never told her how much he hated Parade Duty but he loved watching her peek glances at the floating characters and smile to herself.
Eddie glanced at the picture, remembering how excited she was at that first parade and thinking that Jamie looked like he had a secret. She sat on the couch beside Jamie, tied her Sorel winter boots over her heat tech skinny jeans and leaned against the seat cushions expressing a low, audible groan. "Have I told you how much I hate this holiday?"
"Only a thousand times since Christmas." He smiled at her, but she only returned his look with an eyeroll.
"It's supposed to get down to eleven degrees when the ball drops. Eleven degrees. Eleven. E-lev-en." She was smiling now, continuing to place emphasis each time she said the number. She stood while she was speaking, pulling a heavy scarf around her neck.
"Well," he reasoned, "at least we are in plainclothes this year. We just have to blend and keep an eye on-"
"The million tourists who come here for this Godforsaken event completely unprepared to deal with the reality that is going to hit them at midnight when they are cold, exhausted, have full bladders, half of them drunk all crammed together ready to fight with each other-"
"Janko." It was his turn to cut her off in his quiet admonishing way that let her know this wasn't serious but it was getting annoying. He didn't have to say anything else. They mutually complained every year about working Times Square on New Year's Eve, but it was part of the package working for the NYPD. This year, for some reason, Eddie seemed more bitter about the night than she had in years before. On their last tour he'd asked her what was going on and she brushed off that the novelty had worn off and it was just annoying. He'd accepted that, but he could tell there was more.
"Do you think I'll be warm enough?" Her question was muffled by the amount of fabric covering her mouth, only her narrowed eyes were visible. A face mask and thick scarf were around her face while her head was covered by a black trappers hat and the fur-lined hood of her down quilted coat was up. He'd noticed her Kevlar vest and at least two other layers, a long-sleeve shirt and sweater, before she layered up.
"You could probably lose a few layers until the sun sets." He was layering as well, realizing that plainclothes meant he had to get more creative about where he kept his thicker hat. Eddie was already removing the face mask and trappers hat, expertly folding them into her purse to take as little space as possible. She silently took his own hat from his hands and folded it into her purse as well. "Hey, uh, thanks for letting me crash on your couch tonight."
She waved her gloved hand to indicate it was no big deal, as she took a sip of the coffee he'd brought. One final, dramatic sigh and she glared in his direction, considering the night ahead, "You ready to get this over with?"
XX
They'd learned that although it took a long time, walking from her place to their designated check-in location in Midtown beat any other option for NYE duty. Most nearby parking garages were closed for security reasons and even if they weren't, the thought of driving either of their cars in that mess was enough to give them both hives. On New Year's Eve, a taxi or Uber ride was too taxing on their wallets and public transportation drained them emotionally. They walked more than this on their normal tour, and it was a nice excuse to just walk together, passing the time with their reliable banter, comfortable silence to sip coffee, and both of them occasionally mumbling, "It is so fucking cold."
Jamie had just finished making this last statement as they were both sniffling, noses and cheeks pinked, occasionally shivering. "So you love New Year's Eve so much. What's your resolution?" Eddie asked him.
"I never said I love it. I just figure if we have to work it there's no sense in complaining about it." He attempted to shoot her a pointed look, but it was missed as she briefly turned her head and the gigantic hood of her coat covered her whole head and face.
Eddie was considering what he said before she turned to look at him as she scoffed, "I don't hate it because of work. I hate it because it's-just-ridiculous. People make all these promises to themselves that they won't keep and then they get drunk and stay up too late."
"That's a normal Thursday for us." He deadpanned and got the desired, appreciative laugh from Eddie. He saw the laugh catch in her blue eyes and he hoped it would stay. She had been admittedly sullen and moody since the day after Christmas and she openly attributed it to New Year's Eve. "No, I get what you're saying. It's never been a big holiday in our house. Family of cops, most us spend our partying years working Times Square. Dad and Pop after their partying years, even. Dad won't leave 1PP until, well, I don't know when."
Eddie nodded in understanding and that comfortable silence fell between them as they continued walking. "Okay, there is one thing I like though."
"Oh, yeah? What's that?" The crowds were getting thicker and they were walking closer, coffee cups long discarded, so that they could maneuver easier. A large crowd was approaching them and as Jamie moved to the further edge of the sidewalk, he gently guided Eddie by her shoulder to move closer to him, so that they weren't pulled apart by the crowd.
"Um, the song. Auld Lang Syne. They play it when the ball drops or whatever. And I don't know why I love it, but," her words hung there and she seemed to be searching for the answer to her own question, "I don't know, I just do."
He slowly slid his arm across her back and lowered his hand, reluctant but becoming increasingly aware that they were only another fifteen minutes from their destination and they were certainly not the only plainclothes officers heading toward Times Square. "Me, too. My mom used to sing that on New Year's Eve. For her it was because of the job that she didn't like New Year's cause Dad always had to work. Times Square wasn't like it is today, ya' know? But she wanted us kids to have fun." Jame tried to unsuccessfully conceal the wide smile that spread across his face as the memories came back to him. "She would let us stay up until midnight, but a lot of times she would have to wake me up. She'd get those paper hats and noisemakers." He was embarrassed, but something compelled him to keep telling Eddie, almost needing to tell her. "And we'd watch the ball drop on TV and, uh, we never saw him of course on the screen but she'd tell us kids, 'Blow a kiss! Tell Daddy Happy New Year!' And she'd sing Auld Lang Syne and try to teach us the words." He pushed down the lump in his throat and tightened his jaw a little. "Danny and Erin weren't there. I guess they were too old to still be at home on New Year's Eve. But I remember her doing it with me and Joe. And then just me." He shook his head and looked at Eddie, "I haven't thought about that in a long time." They were both smiling, him reliving the happy memories and her watching him open up and let her in ways that she knew he didn't with anyone else, but also sniffing a little and quickly blinking at teary eyes that they could believably blame on the 19 degree and dropping weather. Since the crowds had thickened even more, they were walking much closer so it was a small and hidden move when Eddie's small gloved hand held and squeezed his own, both of them holding on as long as possible.
XX
Eddie and Jamie had been assigned the Knickerbocker Hotel and five nearby metal pens that contained celebrants who withstood the cold for hours to excitedly ring in the new year, right in the thick of Times Square. Uniformed officers rotated their tour between the perimeter of the pens and swapping off with other officers to patrol the hotel itself each hour or so. This was the arrangement across Times Squares, mutually benefitting the hotels with increased security and the NYPD with a spot for their officers to warm up and stay vigilant with the change in scenery. Plainclothes officers milled their assigned pens with instructions to blend, no pressure to be undercover, but intervene when necessary. They were expected to occasionally check in with the hotel unit to inquire if assistance was needed, which allowed a quick break. On their quick and final break, Jamie and Eddie were sharing a cup of coffee in a small alcove of the sleek, modern lobby. Between passing the cup they would stretch or bounce on the balls of their feet to warm up and keep their adrenaline going. It had been a relatively uneventful night with minor issues such as breaking up escalating arguments, helping people with potential dehydration, and shutting down open containers.
"I feel like most of it has been babysitting. I had to tell that one lady, it probably wasn't the best idea to have her three year old out in this weather. And with the noise! Can we call CPS on that?" Eddie was in mid-complaint, taking the cup from Jamie.
"It is so loud." He leaned in to her face, eyes wide as though he had just realized this.
"So fucking loud." Her response was more a punctuation to his obvious statement and she followed it by draining the last of the coffee cup.
"It's crazy. In the biggest pen I had to tell one guy he couldn't just piss right there, TWICE! I finally told McGregor to take him out if it happened again." Jamie, fueled on more caffeine than usual and frustration from the evening, was openly annoyed and his fuse was short, resulting in his current emphatic hand gestures and disbelief in his eyes.
"Well, you didn't have to deal with the five underage frat boys who had smuggled in Jack Daniels. Seriously those kids must have done some creative adjusting to get that bottle in." Before busting the five athletic twenty year olds, Eddie got the attention of one of the uniformed officers, thankful for his presence while they dealt with the situation. Thankfully, the young men weren't intoxicated and they left peacefully, despite two of them asking if they could have their bottle of booze back.
"Maybe we shouldn't split up for the last round?" Jamie was doubting their system of staying in the same pen, but separating for ten minutes and meeting back at a designated spot. It was too loud and too crowded to try and keep up with each other and they had been working this way for hours now.
Eddie leveled her eyes and handed the empty cup back to him so that she could stretch. "No, it's worked all night. We've had great uniforms with us the whole tour. Look, thirty minutes until the Godforsaken [Jamie tallied that was the twelfth time she had used that term since they'd made it to Times Square] ball drops. Then another thirty to politely shove out the herd and then another couple of hours to give subway and hotel directions. You can sleep it off in-four and a half hours." She groaned out the last sentence, as the length of the night stretched out in her mind. As they pushed out of the hotel she threw to the air, "Have I mentioned how much I hate this holiday?"
They checked in with each uniform unit, agreeing that the largest pen they were assigned had the most concern and that was where they would be at midnight. They had to practically shout their plan to each other; they'd split up, one left, one right for fifteen minutes, with plans to meet at the back central gate right at midnight. They went their separate ways each knowing that there were a few groups in particular that they wanted to check on, while continuing to scan the crowds for anything they missed.
10-9...As the final ten-second countdown to midnight started, Jamie was scanning the crowd for Eddie. He was annoyed she wasn't there, knowing they should have stuck together for the last round. He finally spotted her, about two dozen people away from him. He couldn't see her face, but her height and the hood of her jacket pulled up were obvious to him.
8-7...He pushed out a long breath into his gloved hands and bounced on his feet to warm up. He contemplated calling out her name, but the revelry was deafening and he knew it was pointless.
6-5...He watched her scanning the crowd around her. She was positioned near a group of women she had earlier said concerned her. Five women on an annual girls' trip who had all been drinking since dawn. They seemed harmlessly intoxicated and were possibly continuing to drink, although Eddie couldn't say for sure.
4-3...He started to elbow his way through the people between them but made little progress. The crowd was huddled closer moving in a large rhythmic motion as they counted down, their excitement leaving them oblivious to moving out of his way.
2-1...He lost her for a second in the blaring music, shouts of 'Happy New Year' and fireworks, the swells of people throwing up their arms in celebration, hugging their companions and then turning to do the same with perfect strangers. His height worked in his favor so that he saw her first. She was stuck between several couples romantically kissing in the new year, a group of Chinese exchange students, and the group of women on their annual trip.
Several women from the group were embracing her in a hug that turned Eddie just enough in his direction that he could see she was smiling. He could read her smile to know that it was full of pride, a smile she got when she was excited for other people. Eddie loved to celebrate people and their stories and what brought them joy. Jamie loved that about her, especially in this moment. And that increasingly familiar clench in his chest showed up, the one that came around when he let his mind consciously acknowledge what he loved about her. The cacophony around him wouldn't let his mind sort out the details, but he knew this was going to be the year they would change their relationship. A tall brunette woman pulled away and moved to the next person while Eddie continued to watch the celebrations of others unfolding around her. He couldn't hear her, of course, but he watched her ever so slightly swaying with the crowd and saw her mouth moving, "Should old acquaintance be forgot-"
And like he'd called to her, Eddie turned directly to Jamie, spotting him across the crowd. She was still singing along, "And auld lang syne," stopping abruptly. She quickly ducked her head and lifted it with an embarrassing shake at how busted she was. She recognized his smug grin, full of pride at catching her so "in" the moment and the small laugh that always accompanied it, just to underscore how much grief he was going to give her over this. Eddie had nothing to offer in the way of explanation except for an exaggerated shrug and giggle at herself. She watched his smile fall into another familiar look of desire and hope. A much smaller but more confident, knowing smile with those curious eyes flicking from her eyes to her mouth and back again, only the two of them feeling the thread of restraint. Sometimes she would stop that look too late, leaving herself needy for him, lustful, and too pent up over this ridiculous holding pattern they stayed in. Tonight, New Year's Eve, when he would be sleeping on her couch, was NOT the night she was willing to fall into that trap.
Jamie blushed to himself as it was his turn to feel embarrassed. Eddie was moving through the crowd albeit slowly, sidestepping still-kissing couples, dodging partygoers intent on hugging everyone around. She rarely lost eye contact, not even slightly conceding in the look she was giving him. Slightly pursed lips, eyebrows raised, head tilted to the side, blue eyes full of challenge. As soon as he read it, he knew he was busted for letting his guard down in the middle of Times Square while surrounded by a million people. He shyly shrugged and tipped his chin to the back central gate. She gave a single nod and did a terrible job of hiding the grin the tried to hide by biting her bottom lip.
XX
Eddie was half asleep as she went through the motions of washing her face, brushing her teeth, putting on her pajamas. She glanced at her phone as she walked from her bathroom into the living room. It was 4 in the morning. Jamie was sitting on the couch in gray shorts and a Harvard T-shirt, elbows on knees with his eyes resting in his palms. "I didn't want to go in your room alone for a pillow."
She leaned against the bathroom doorframe. From the couch his back was to her so she couldn't see his face when she said, "Jamie, this is stupid. The couch will be miserable and you're only sleeping here for a couple of hours. Just sleep in my bed." Her tone implied this was a one-time thing, but this was one of their other silent agreements; they would never admit that this happened at both of their places at least a dozen times. In the middle of late nights drinking or watching a movie, one of them would offer their couch for the other to crash for the night. Then, just as the night wrapped up they would say, 'The couch is terrible; just sleep in my bed' the 'with me' hanging there but never said out loud.
Jamie scratched the back of his head, the consideration of the innocent proposition part of the unspoken plan, and pushed off the couch. "Okay."
She was so tired but she couldn't resist teasing him when he wore his Harvard-branded shirts. As he walked past her, into her own bedroom, she muttered, "Nice shirt" and followed behind him.
He didn't miss a beat and shot back, "Nice pajamas," and then let out a loud yawn. He was in her closet, pulling out the extra blanket she kept on the top right cubby. She giggled at her flannel pajamas, covered in drawings of sushi. Not her usual bedtime attire, temps below 32 called for something warmer. "This is an over/under situation, I assume?" He referenced the first time they had slept in the others' bed. Eddie called it an 'over/under situation' meaning one would sleep under the bedding and one would sleep on top of it, given a single blanket if needed.
"Mmm," she vaguely responded. She was on the edge of the bed, but her back was to him. She was plugging in her phone, setting up her watch. She turned off the light and slid under the blankets.
Jamie huffed out a laugh as he took his cue and dropped on his stomach on top of the blankets. He adjusted the extra blanket and arranged the pillow, pushing up to shift some of the other blankets towards Eddie. She was on her side, facing him. He was finally adjusted on the pillow and he looked at her, her face barely visible in the light coming from the street.
Once he stilled, she opened her eyes and they looked at each other as best one can do in the dark. They knew the other's breathing so accurately, they had unintentionally fallen into a matched rhythm. Jamie adjusted his pillow and she felt his palm fall by his shoulder, his breathing heavy, eyes drooping. And she didn't know what was happening, how she completely lost control but she actually felt her own hand slide into his, palms pushed together, fingers laced in an alternating flat pattern. Her internal monologue was cursing how juvenile and ridiculous this was, especially since he was asleep, until she realized his thumb was stroking her hand and occasionally drawing slow, lazy circles.
"Hey," he rumbled quietly but full of a confidence she wanted to match but wasn't sure she could in that moment.
"Hey," she responded softer, lovingly.
Jamie shifted, tugged at the blankets, and audibly but softly grunted as he stood up, pulled back the blankets and lowered into the bed beside her. They adjusted the blankets over both of their bodies, their knees and shins barely touching. "Keep your distance," he said for both of their sakes, before returning their hands to each others, "but this was-"
They were both back to nodding off until Eddie broke the silence, "Hey." It was the same endearing voice; he was so tired, but he was willing to fight sleep if she wanted him to. It wasn't always that way, but something about tonight was different. He could tell she was searching his face before she said, "I just wanted to tell you," she took a breath, reflecting on the evening and how bitter she'd felt at the beginning of tour, "this was a pretty great New Year's Eve."
Jamie was still trying to wrap his head around the revelation he'd made earlier that evening; this would be the year things changed for them. He knew this wasn't the time to talk to her about that because they were both too exhausted. He pulled their joined hands a little closer to hims chest and agreed. His other hand ran from the crown of her head to her neck and rested there until she was asleep. He waited until he was sure she was asleep and whispered, "Happy New Year, Eddie," before he finally drifted off himself.