This came to me under the influence of too much sweets, coffee and frustration over my current thesis. And well, under the autorepetition of "I'll die for you today" from Alphaville. I'm not entirely sure if song and "story" get along that well, but - yeah, I just had to get it out of my system, for what it's worth. Just hope that someone out there can appreciate it. If not - hey, that's what the review button is for, I guess, And of course for written praise, too :)
I beg your pardon for any spell and grammair mistakes. If there are some, please be so kind to point them out, I haven't got a beta yet.
I own neither Alphaville nor any of the Dragon Age: Origin content I'm fooling around with.
This is not the time of heroism. This is not the time of honor, fame, or splendor. It is the last, final battle. No glory is searched for now, no king in a golden armour is here to lead them, no battalion of Grey Wardens riding in on majestic griffons. This is the time of blood, of death, of brutal force. It is the time of armies clashing in the fire-lit streets of a burning city, of unarmed, defenceless citizens falling to the crude blades of the immane enemy, of warriors facing the horror that is the darkspawn driven with a courage born out of desparation They fight to survive, to rescue what is left to rescue at whatever costs.
It is the time of a lonely pair of equally desperate young Grey Warden, trying to fulfill a task that was never meant to be theirs.
Come in close to me and bring me joy
Lift me higher, much higher and higher than light allows
The song in her mind is louder than it has ever been. It's twisted beauty threatens to drown all the noises around her, the clattering of steel against armour, the pounding of heavy boots on cobblestones, cries of rage, of pain, of death, even the battle cries of her companions fighting next to her and the shrieks of the darkspawn falling onto her blade are strangely dull against the luring melody in her head.
I wanted to be everything, everything for you
I wanted you, I needed you, I thought that you did too
Over the course of the last year the song has never left her mind, haunted her dreams with sweet promises and threats of painful death alike. It has become a second nature to her to resist it, yet never has it been so loud, so strong, so tempting. It is hard to focus on the task at hands, hard not to simply give in to the seductive flow.
She feels the presence of her fellow Grey Warden behind her, covering her back as she covers his. His blood has its own voice and reaches out to her, too, soothing and calm. It used to be enough protection, creating enough distraction to ignore the constant thrumming of the old god's song. But not anymore.
You built me beauty and took it all away
And I can't face another day...
I'll die for you today...
She finishes off a rather persistant genlock, her blade sliding through him nearly effortlessly. Behind her the bard laughs triumphantly as her arrow pierces through the last darkspawn's chest. One room clear, too many to go. When a hand touches her arm and the familiar tingling of healing magic floating through her body she manages a weak smile at the old mage.
And still the voice grows louder, the promises so colorful, so vivid, she is almost able to see them...
A mailclad hand shakes her shoulders, Alistairs voice and the song of his blood reaching out for her equally. She can see it in his eyes, the same fear that swells in her heart. His mental strength may be greater than hers, but he suffers from the temptation as much as she does. And he fears what might happen, should any of the two of them give in to it. Never have they felt so alone, never craved the brotherhood of the Grey Warden, the closeness that he had encountered for only six months and she for barely a few days, as much as in this dire hour.
Urthemiel is calling them.
Tempt me, sweet tempest - and shower me with stars
I want to be as beautiful as you
Take me to the summit and show me
Show me all that I could ever have
Such peace he promises, sweet rest, an end to all the doubts, an end to the worries, to the burden that is the warden's duty; power he promises, a dark, twisted glory, a beauty that matches his own, although that beauty is twisted and corrupted, too.
You brought me everything, I ever thought I wanted
And now you take it all away
Why resist, why fight, why press on? Are they not, what he ist? Have they not taken in his kindred's blood, is there not the same corruption running through their veins that has corrupted the old god, too? Where is the sense in fighting what they are, in lying to themselves, thinking that the name „Grey Warden" is making them something different? Why do they persist on confronting him in such a manner, when he is willing to give them everything?
It is so easy to let go, to give in.
Come to me, my children, and I will grant you salvation. Bow to me, my children, and receive my gifts...
You gave me love and then you killed me blindly
I think I'll die for you today, I can't persue another way...
I'll die for you today...
Maybe Alistair will never know how close she was to raise her voice to the god of beauty, so close to let her blood sing in time with the old one's melody. But when he, absorbed in his own desperation, concentrating on his own fight with their nemesis, draws her into his arms, his finger digging into her flesh mercilessly, he pulls not only himself back to the here and now, but her with him. And for a few second their blood creates a new song, different and strong, shielding them from the alluring music floating through their minds.
Staring up into his hazel eyes she recognizes him for the first time as what he really is, not the bastard prince, not the future king, not the awkward young man who is able to put his foot into his mouth every two seconds. Instead she sees her ally, who stayed with her through the whole damn thing from the first moment, her shield, protecting her from every harm that might befall her, her friend, who is always there when she needs him and also needs her in return. And she sees, what he might have become, had time and place been different.
It is enough to pull her back from the void Urthemiel song creates, enough to finally recognize the pain lying under all those dark promises, and for the first time she hears the plea, hidden under the notes of the Archdemon's song.
Like a garden growin' in flames
A forest filled with fear of the wind
Like the moon so beautiful from afar
But shattered on the surface, full of scars
A sea with no more fish, planets without air
Whales with no more song
She faces him with a determination that surprises her as well as the dark dragon lunges on her and her comrades the moment they emerge from the halls of Fort Drakon. She has fought dragons before, as have all of her companion. They have instructed their allies how t fight a beast like this, but still many of them die to the magic of the dark and twisted god before they are able to corner it.
When finally she droves her blade into his head, the last thing her material ears hear is the dragon's death cry roaring over her. For her it sounds almost joyous. And then the archdemons presence invades her very being, and there is no more coherent thought, only darkness and pain, pain and darkness. Second stretch into years, lifetimes, ages, filled with pure agony. And then in a sudden burst of light hers and the archdemon's soul entwine, becoming one in a glorious mingle of colors and music, that are of no material consistence. Endless joy fills her and she knows that this is the peace she really craved, the destiny Urthemiel had really wished for and that had come to them on the sacrifice of her mortal existence.
And finally she, who is no longer only she, realizes a different meaning behind the third sentence of the Grey Wardens maxim. In death, sacrifice.
I know I'm gonna die with them today...
I'll die for you today...
It's a sacrifice for both the people and the tainted god.