"Mulder." The name rolled off her tongue, as if she never had to even fathom the thought of not uttering it towards him again. The giant tears falling freely from her eyes as she watched the man that consumed her life, have his own back. She was, at times, the only one who believed in him, in them.
"Hi." She whispered with a shaky voice, relief shining through.
"Who are you?" He asked, puzzlement clouding his face, seriousness in his voice.
The relief quickly faded as fear washed over her. Perhaps this was just him, playfully being him. But no, this was different, his once warm eyes full of mischief and excitement for the questions he sought answers to, were completely blank - lost. Scully's breath caught in her throat, emotions running high.
"Do you remember anything?" She approached cautiously, how do you even make small talk with someone who doesn't even know your name.
"I guess I would need to have some sort of memory to even remember, right?" He smiled sheepishly, attempting to mask the fear flushing through him with humor.
"You don't have any memory? Do you know your own name?"
"That would be a negative. Are you my doctor?"
"I was, amongst other things." She said in a small whisper, fighting back the full emotions mixing through her from flowing out.
"Mind helping me out? Where am I...who am I?"
"You're in the hospital, how you ended up here is a rather long story that I'm not sure you're ready for. We should probably ease into who you are, that's slightly complicated." She said with a slight smirk. He furrowed his brow with a small chuckle of amusement at her description.
"Alright, let's start wit the basics then. What's my name?"
"Fox Mulder. You, uh, used to be a special agent with the FBI. We were partners."
"Well that explains why I'm not completely freaking out by the blank slate that is currently my mind. I feel, comfortable, with you here."
"That's good, it could mean that there's a chance at recovering your memories, if you're feeling a sense of familiarity." She said, sitting up straighter in her chair at even a glimpse of hope.
"So tell me, Doc, what exactly led me here? I can see it on your face, it wasn't an easy journey."
"Like I said, that's definitely a story to ease ourselves into. God, it's so great to have you back, you have no idea." She said instinctively, he playfully glared his eyes at her. "Sorry, poor choice of words." She finished with a smirk.
"Agent Scully?" Agent Doggett called out as he strolled into the room. He was relieved to see the small smile on her face, knowing this is what she's always wanted.
"Hey." She said with a small smile. "Mulder, would you excuse me for a moment?" She said with sensitivity in her voice. He nodded, letting what he had just been told replay in his mind, hopefully triggering any sliver of a memory, but there was nothing.
"He's awake." Doggett said as more of a fact than a question.
"He is, but, uh, his memory has been completely wiped. He doesn't even know who he is, so the recovery is going to be a little more different than we originally anticipated. Would you mind finding the doctor?" She asked kindly.
"Are you sure you're up for this? Having him back is one thing, but it'll be like having a complete stranger around." He said with concern in his voice.
"I appreciate you looking out for me, but he's not a stranger, not to me. I'm not abandoning him to someone else, or some rehab center." She scoffed in disbelief that he would even have the audacity to question it.
"I'm sorry, I'm just thinking about you, and the baby."
"Well, thank you, but it's not for you to say. Please, go get the doctor and let him know Mulder is awake." She said with a slight bitterness in her voice.
She turned on her heels back to Mulder's bed, and could see the only expression mulling about in his mind, sadness. She knew, memories or not, he would find a way to embrace guilt for this situation.
"We're going to bring the doctor in to run some tests, see if there's anymore brain damage that we aren't catching." She said making simple conversation, taking extra care in explaining everything thoroughly.
"Thanks. Uh, do I have any family?" He asked carefully, assuming he was already a burden in this beautiful woman's life.
"No, not really. Both of your parents have already passed, and you lost your sister a long time ago. You were, are, the last Mulder." She said carefully, not ready for that conversation. A heaviness filled the room, and the tension was rising.
"Not really then? That sounds like a direct no to me."
"Well, we-" She began to say before she closed her mouth at the entrance of the doctor.
He ran his basic tests, and ordered more, Scully by his side the entire time. She could sense him stiffen and his anxiety build at any mention of separating from her, so she went where he went. They finally settled themselves back in his room, both mentally and physically exhausted.
"You should probably get home, I don't want to keep you any more. I'm assuming your husband isn't too happy with you being here all the time." He said, gesturing with his eyes to her protruding stomach. She glanced down and smiled...oh, if he only knew.
"There's no one waiting for me at home, and I've been sleeping here more often than you think. One more night won't hurt. The doctor said we should have your results tomorrow, and from there we can plan for your release."
"If I don't have a family, do I even have a home to go back to?" He asked with genuine concern.
"I've kept up your apartment, but I don't know if it's the best idea for you to go back there alone, given the circumstances. We can figure that out tomorrow, Mulder. I know you're exhausted, I can see it in your eyes."
"Okay, one more question. Why do you call me Mulder?"
"Because you call me Scully. Get some rest." She said as she ran her hand gently over his hairline. He startled for a moment, and she retracted, forgetting that only she knew their connection. She sighed in resignation, pulling back every urge she had towards him.
The next morning the doctor came in during morning rounds, test results in tow. Scully situated herself next to Mulder, who was sitting in his hospital bed, legs hanging off the side. She placed her hand on his knee as the doctor explained the results, him not shying away from her touch this time.
"Mr. Mulder, I don't know what to say. You're in perfect health, nothing in the scans showed any reason for the memory loss, so we have faith that, in time, it will all come back to you." The doctor said, apology shining through his eyes for losing hope originally.
"Can I take him home today? Is there anything specific you would recommend for his recovery?" Scully asked, assuming her Dr. Scully persona.
"I don't see any reason for him to not go home today. Usually, we would suggest that he maintain a normal routine, to trigger any memories, but I know his case is special. With his memory completely erased, I would urge someone to at least be with him until he can find himself able to fully function on his own."
"Thank you, if we can get the release papers, we'll be heading home then." She smiled courteously at the doctor in dismissal.
"So, what's the plan, Doc?" He asked in attempt to ease the mood.
"I - I think you should come stay with me for a while. Just until we can gage the situation."
"I wouldn't want to impose, I'm sure you have your hands full." He said gesturing to her stomach again.
"Well, we've got a few weeks to figure that out, and who knows, maybe by then you'll have your memories back. Come on, let's go home." She said as she helped gather his things.
As they began walking out of the room, he placed his hand on the small of her back, and she stopped in her stride at the motion. She turned to look at him with expectant eyes, finding just an ounce more of hope in their newest obstacle.
"Oh, sorry. I don't know why I-" He began to stammer.
"No, it's a familiar gesture that I've missed. It's okay." She said with a small smile as she reached up to gently cradle his face in her hand. They exchanged a silent understanding, and she found some small solace in the simple act.
They made their way back to his apartment first, to pick up several things he would need while he stayed with Scully. As he walked into what he was told was his living space, he stopped in the doorway and took in his surroundings. Nothing seemed familiar to him.
"Anything?" She asked in a small voice.
"Memory wise, not a thing. Feeling wise, I would say I lived a lonely life." He said with a heavy sigh.
"I wouldn't say that at all." She said with a mischievous smirk as she pushed past him to make her way into his bedroom to collect some things.
"I don't mean to be forward here, but you sure know your way around my apartment pretty comfortably." He said as he leaned against the doorframe of his bedroom, watching her rummage through his closet and drawers for clothes. She paused in her actions, not sure how to approach that subject.
"We - we've known each other for over 8 years now, and we've been partners for most of that time. Over the years, I'd say we definitely got close, you are my best friend, and I'd like to think that feeling is mutual." She said carefully, avoiding the rest of the relationship talk. He wasn't ready for that.
"Well, considering you're the only constant in my current life, I'd say you are my best friend, too." He said jokingly, trying to make light of the conversation. She exhaled shakily, at the word of 'constant.' She could only hope that the man she loved was still in there.
"Thanks." She said in a small voice, not meeting his eyes. "I think that's everything, at least for now. We can come back any time if you need more."
They made their way to Scully's apartment after feeding the surviving fish, and he watched her pull out her keys to unlock her own apartment, causing a moment of realization.
"You had a key to my apartment." He said as the image replayed in his mind.
"You have a key to mine, too." She said in a whisper, avoiding adding emotion to her sentiment. She led them inside, and placed his things in her bedroom, never even questioning it.
"So I take it I've been here several times before?" He said as he looked around.
"More than I can count. It's a pretty simple tour - living room, kitchen, that's my room back there. That's the bathroom, but I'm sure you'll figure it all out." She said with a sympathetic smile.
"And I'm assuming this is my room here." He said sarcastically as he plopped down on the couch. She smirked at his question, him not knowing the irony of his statement.
"Well, you often prefer your own couch to the bed I didn't believe you had until a couple of years ago, but we can share my room, I don't mind." She offered cautiously, not wanting him to feel obligated to fall into whatever relationship they had before.
"I wouldn't want to intrude, I'm practically a stranger to myself." He said in a heavy sigh. "I, uh, do want to wash off this hospital feel though, mind if I use the shower?"
"Sure, there's clean towels in there. Your bags are in my room." He nodded his thanks before escaping down the hall, leaving her standing there exhausted. She was so conflicted about everything, worried things were going to be drastically different. Just as she was going to make herself comfortable on the couch, the knocking at the door startled her.
"Skinner, Sir. Please come in." She smiled genuinely, he had been a good friend while Mulder was gone, keeping her beliefs strong.
"How's he doing?" Skinner asked concerned.
"He's as good as he can be, I suppose. He doesn't remember anything, so it's going to be an adjustment."
"And how are you?" He asked sympathetically. Neither noticed that the water had already cut off, Mulder listening through the small crack of the open door. He was beginning to make his way to the bedroom to change before he heard voices, and stopped in his actions.
"I'm fine. I think I'm more relieved to have him back, everything else we can just figure out."
"Have you told him about the baby yet?"
"I haven't even found a way to tell him about us yet. I don't think he's ready for that, and I don't want to overwhelm him."
"Well regardless about the memory loss, everything about his personality is still Mulder, and the longer you wait, the worse it's going to be."
"I know, you're right. I'll try to talk to him soon."
That was all Mulder could take listening in, something inside of him felt jealous at the conversation happening in the living room, and he couldn't pinpoint where it was coming from. He finally made his presence known, being greeted by Scully's warm smile.
"Mulder, how are you feeling?" Skinner asked civilly.
"Fine, I guess. I think I'm getting a little hungry though." Mulder said shyly, afraid to be asking for too much.
"I'm just heading out, I'll leave you two alone. We'll talk later?" Skinner said, directed towards Scully. She nodded and he smiled at her, causing Mulder's stomach to turn. "Feel better."
"Hungry for anything specific?" She asked as she turned from closing the door behind Skinner.
"I wish I knew. Did I have any favorites?"
"Pretty much anything that came in a takeout box, or was dripping with grease from a diner. Take your pick." She smirked at him.
"Well when you make it sound so appetizing, it's just so hard to choose." He teased back. She missed this, and her eyes gleamed at the small glimpse of Mulder that was still in there. He instantly sobered from the lighthearted moment, mixed emotions still surging through him from the conversation he overheard earlier.
"I'm going to shower quickly, and then we can figure something out?"
"Yeah, sure." He said distractedly. She made her way into the bathroom, leaving him alone with the only thoughts he had.
He became antsy, and an odd feeling of betrayal washing over him. He glanced around, and saw a set of keys on the table by the door. He grabbed them and made his exit.
Scully came from the bedroom after getting ready, fear clouding her face at the lack of Mulder's presence. She checked the entire apartment before noticing that the set of keys was gone from the front table. She exhaled deeply, actually finding some relief in the parts of him shining through in his actions. She plopped herself on the couch, giving him some time to fight whatever was running through his mind.
After several hours, she grabbed her own keys and headed out the door. She stopped to pick up food from the chinese place that he frequented, and made her way to his apartment. When she approached the door, she could hear the television on, and smiled that he escaped here on instinct. She took out her own key, and let herself inside.
He was startled to see her enter, a guilty expression washing over his face. She gave him a small smile, and sat next to him on the couch, situating the food out in front of them wordlessly.
"I guess I probably shouldn't have tried to run away from the person who apparently knows me the best." He said as a light joke to break the silence.
"You shouldn't have tried to run away at all. What happened?" She asked sincerely, wanting him to feel safe, to trust her.
"I don't know, it's not that I'm not grateful, because trust me, I am. I just don't feel like I've found my place, I feel like I'm constantly imposing on your life, and I don't want you to feel obligated to care for me just because I don't have a family of my own."
"And what caused this thought process?" She asked calmly as she separated the food. He didn't know why, but was slightly unnerved at how nonchalant she was in having this conversation.
"I, uh, heard you talking to that Skinner guy, before I came out of the bathroom. You said that you weren't married, but I never thought to ask if you were seeing someone. I imagine having some old, brainless partner come crashing into your life is kind of a mood killer." He said sheepishly. He accepted the plate she made up for him cautiously, still confused at her calm demeanor.
"I suppose I can't keep avoiding this conversation, as much as I don't think you're ready for it, you need to hear it." She said with a heavy sigh. "Mulder, I've spent the better part of the last year searching for you. I've devoted myself to finding any clue that could lead me to bringing you back. We are each other's family, and we have been pretty much since the beginning. I would, and have, done anything for you, and you for me. I was seeing someone briefly, but then he went missing, and I'm really glad to have him back, even if he doesn't remember me." She finished with a coy smirk.
"You mean...?" He began to ask with wide eyes at her revelation. He smiled to himself, and bowed his head slightly. "That explains a few things."
"I will tell you everything, eventually, but I just need you to know that you do have a place here." She said as she finally turned to catch his gaze. He nodded in understanding, matching the smile on her face. It quickly fell as a new epiphany popped in his head.
"So, uh, the baby...?" He began to stammer, emotions flushing through him. He couldn't decipher what he felt more - scared, puzzled, joy.
"Yeah." She smiled down at her hand resting on her stomach, color tinging her cheeks.
"I think, I'm excited about it. I'm actually disappointed I missed the making of it though." He teased. Her head shot up at him, grin growing.
"Mulder!" She said as she playfully swatted at his arm. She shook her head, finally feeling content in their current predicament. She didn't know when, or if he would get his memories back, but she had faith in them, always.
A week after Mulder's return, they found themselves in a comfortable routine. Regardless of the information that Scully expressed to him about their relationship, he still felt better sleeping on the couch. He didn't want to invade all of her privacy, given as much as she had already done for him.
"I have to stop by work today, if you would like to join me." She yelled from her room as she was changing.
"Oh, right. I used to work there, too. Uh, sure." He said cautiously.
"It might help to hopefully trigger some kind of memory. Just more familiar surroundings. Your follow up appointment is later today as well, so we can head over after that."
"Yeah, that's a good idea." He said as he approached the bedroom. She was buttoning up her shirt just as he walked in, and he stopped in his tracks. "Oh, sorry."
"It's okay, Mulder." She said with a small chuckle. "It's nothing you haven't seen before."
"Yeah, well I don't exactly know that. Why are you laughing?" He playfully glared at her.
"Because I can't wait for you to regain your memories so I can tease you about your discomfort later." She said lightly. He reveled in the blissful, glowing look on her face. His mind not remembering much, but his heart knew that this was right.
They made their way to the Hoover Building, curious glances directed towards them as they walked through the main halls. She kept her stride strong, ignoring the whispers as she has always done.
"I have a feeling I was pretty popular." He said sarcastically, whispering in her ear as he crept up from behind. She smiled and turned her head, her mouth slightly lingering before his.
"You could definitely say that." She said with a mischievous smile. They made their way into Skinner's office, and were instructed to sit across from him in their usual seats.
"How are you feeling, Mulder?" He asked passively.
"I'm doing alright, other than the whole memory loss thing." He replied sarcastically. Skinner scoffed and shook his head, actually glad to have him back.
"I was just coming to make sure everything was handled with my maternity leave." Scully said carefully.
"It's been processed, I took care of it. I, uh, also took care of the other thing you asked me about." He said as he cleared his throat, nervously glancing towards Mulder.
"My transfer? Thank you. I look forward to teaching at Quantico once I return." She said confidently. He nodded silently at her, understanding clear. She wasn't hiding anything from Mulder, even if he couldn't remember.
"Ready for our next stop?" She asked Mulder as they exited the office. He gave her a quizzical look, not sure what to expect.
"More memory triggering locations?" He teased.
"The biggest one, I hope."
They made their way downstairs, and she stopped just before the door. She had already inquired, and Doggett was out on assignment, so the office was theirs. She led him inside, letting him take in the surroundings. He walked into the room slowly, a sense of familiarity washing over him. He couldn't pinpoint the feeling to a memory, but he knew this place was important to him, just as much as the woman standing by his side was.
"Did this used to be our office?" He asked distractedly as he ran his hand over the 'I Want To Believe' poster hanging behind the desk.
"Yes, do - do you remember?" She asked excitedly.
"I don't know, I feel like I belong here, but I can't bring any specific memories to surface."
"Good, that's good. It means that they're there, we just have to wait for them to return." She said as she walked closer to run her hand gently through his hair. He relaxed into the contact, resting his forehead against hers. A small tear escaped her eye, only realizing as he brushed it away softly with his thumb.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to." He whispered into her mouth. He quickly separated himself from her and put his hands in his pocket, almost as if he was restraining himself from the compulsion to touch her, to feel close to her.
She rolled her eyes at the feelings she can tell he was battling inside of him, the unknown of what was okay and what wasn't, and took him out of his misery. She reached up to cradle her hand behind his neck, pulling it back close to her face, letting her lips linger just before his. She smiled at the shocked expression on his face, and the arousal in his eyes. She stretched up to capture his lips with hers, and he melted into the embrace. He pulled her in by the waist as much as her pregnant stomach would allow, and deepened the kiss. Their lips glided together, her mouth opening willingly. Their tongues met, and a strong surge of remembrance came flowing through him. He abruptly disconnected from their embrace, eyes wild with confusion. She licked her lips nervously, regaining her composure, waiting for him to speak.
"Scully..." He whispered contently, as if he's been uttering her name his entire life.
"Mulder, what happened?" She asked, worry rising.
"I don't know, but I think I'm starting to remember, remember you. There were flashes of images, when we kissed. I can't control them enough to stay, but I can feel them." He said in amazement.
"We'll get your memories back, I promise you." She said fighting back the tears as she stepped towards him again. She cradled the sides of his face in both hands, running her thumb over his cheek in a comforting gesture.
"We could always keep trying that until all my memories come back." He leered at her, his mouth lingering closer to hers. The sly smirk on her face grew, loving that he was back.
"As much as I would love to take you up on that offer, you have a doctor's appointment. Maybe later." She said in a sultry tone. She pecked him quickly on the lips, grabbing his hand to lead him out of the office.
They returned home after he had been given a clean bill of health, sans the memory issue, and situated themselves exhaustedly on the couch. They were enjoying the comfortable silence as he watched mindless TV, and she read through a few medical journals. He glanced over at her, and smiled at the serene look bestowed upon her face. She was facing him, back leaning against the arm of the couch, feet in his lap.
"You're staring, Mulder." She said, not moving her attention away from papers in her lap.
"I can't help it, you're kinda pretty. I'd like to think of guys who wake up with no memory, I scored on who was there to greet me." He said lightly.
"Flattery will get you nowhere." She bit her lip, holding back the grin from touching her lips.
"So you're saying I should try harder then." He said as he leaned his body over hers, supporting himself above her by his arms. She finally glanced up to meet his face, his lips immediately enclosing on hers.
She began to chuckle into his mouth, remaining the return of the embrace.
"Care to share with the class?" He teased at her laughter.
"Nothing, I'm sorry. It's just that, we've been in this position before, but it wasn't you, and it definitely didn't end like this." She chuckled.
"Well, it technically still isn't me, and I'd like to change that ending." He wagged his eyebrows at her. Her smirk grew as she pulled his head down to meet hers.
They stayed in their embrace for several more minutes, finally coming up for air. Smiles covered their faces, completely content to be in each other's arms, as if it's all they've ever needed. She turned on her side, and he spooned himself behind her, holding her close as they lay there in comfortable silence once more.
Mulder began to rouse, noticing that they had drifted off while watching TV. He smiled as he moved the hair away from her face, tucking it behind her ear. He leaned down to place a gentle kiss on her cheek, causing her to make indistinct sounds in her sleep.
"Come on, let's get you to bed." He whispered in her ear as he gently woke her. She nodded, and began to rise from the couch to waddle her way to the bedroom. He followed, helping her get situated, before turning to leave.
"Sleep here tonight." She said in a barely audible whisper. He froze at the invitation, but pushed aside that fear, knowing it's exactly where his heart was telling him he wanted to be.
He smiled as he removed his jeans, leaving him dressed in only his boxers and t-shirt. He slid into the bed next to her, and she immediately cuddled into his side, using him as a pillow.
The next morning Scully could feel the incessant nudging on her arm, urging her awake. She groaned into his chest, trying to block out him calling her name over and over again.
"Scully, come on, wake up." He said gently, repeating the notion.
"What do you want, Mulder? It's early, and I'm tired." She pouted, still not opening her eyes.
"Oh, good. So me sleeping in your bed isn't a surprise for the both of us." He said sarcastically. She let the words play in her mind before pushing herself off of him to finally glance at his face. She looked into his eyes, and could see that he was back.
"Mulder, you - you don't remember going to sleep last night?" She asked cautiously, wanting to gage the situation.
"Well, I would have to remember even coming back, to remember ending up in your bed. Apparently there's a few things I need to be caught up on." He said as his eyes pointedly gestured towards her stomach. She paled at the newest revelation, and sat herself up, leaning against the headboard.
"Your memories are back." She said in a small whisper, more of a statement than a question.
"Did they go somewhere?"
"Yeah, you were returned, but you didn't have memory of anything. Mulder, you didn't know who you were, who I was."
"Ah, Scully, I could never forget you." He said as he reached out for her hand. She grasped onto it instantly, worried that he wouldn't want this comfortable routine they had found themselves in. "What else did I miss?" He asked, again turning the attention to her stomach.
"You don't remember any of the last week?"
"No, the last thing I remember was being abducted. Even that's a little fuzzy."
"Do you have idea what you've been through?"
"Only what I see in your face."
"God, Mulder. I've missed you. I mean, you were here, but you weren't." She said as a tear escaped her eye. He brought their intertwined hands to his lips, kissing the back of hers.
"Well it looks like that version of me did better than I could ever hope to imagine."
"Oh, I wouldn't say that." She said as she glanced down at her free hand on her pregnant stomach. His eyes followed her gaze, and he scooted closer, resting his hand over hers.
She glanced up to see his elated face, eyes shining with delight. He finally met her gaze, passing silent sentiments as they've done so many times before.
"Don't ever leave me again, Mulder. I need you here, we need you."
He nodded wordlessly, relishing in the love shining through her eyes, directed at him. He leaned up to kiss her chastely, confident in their future, together.