This is not mine at all!
One-shot!
The Ice around my heart
Holding you like this, it's so much more than I deserve. We've been together for five years now, and the times I've told you that I love you have been few and far in between. Yet you always reaffirm your feelings for me, telling me over and over how much you care.
I don't think I deserve you. Too often I snap and end up saying things I don't mean. I hate the fact that I hurt you. Maybe it would be better if you stopped loving me and left. It would probably be better for your health and for your loving nature. Yet I'm selfish, I don't want you to forget me, I don't want you to find a new love, because if you did, I would stop functioning. You are essential to my life, my spirit would break down and leave me.
So much has changed, yet there is much the same. I have the same mood swings, yet you are no longer afraid because you understand them. You've helped change me, yet I still find it hard to show affection. Kitazawa was the first person I could trust, and he broke that trust, you are the second, and I know you are different because you are more filled with life and love than either Kitazawa or I. sometimes I'm afraid I'll betray you and you will end up hurt. I try not to think about that, but it is possible and I wish it weren't.
I'll try to change, and with your help I'm sure the ice will melt away.
"Yuki, are you awake?" Shuichi said softly, getting no answer Shuichi smiled and snuggled closer.
Yuki, the man I love. It had been hard to get close to him, he'd been hurt so much before. He was thorny, but I understood. Sometimes things happen that are out of our control, but sometimes I wish Yuki had never been betrayed by Kitazawa, then Yuki would have been so much happier in his childhood.
If Kitazawa hadn't turned into a bastard, Yuki would still smile as openly as he did in their picture together. Yet, if things hadn't happened as they did, would we still be together? Sometimes the things that happen are so precise that if one thing had changed we wouldn't be here now, together. He probably would be happily married, because he wouldn't have given Ayaka the cold shoulder for many years. We would probably never have been able to get to know each other. I would be just another singer his brother-in-law Tohma had signed under his label, nothing more.
Yet, I would have changed his past if I could, it doesn't matter if I would now be lonely as long as he's happy. Yet I cannot change his history, so I'll stay by him now, and I'll help him overcome his inner demons, and melt his icy barrier to his heart. I love him, and nothing will ever change what we have together now.