Kageyama's mark appeared when he was seven years old. He, like all other children, had been taught the importance of soulmarks during their first year, touching on the subject every year after. At the time, Kageyama had merely looked at the odd, familiar shape on the front part of his left shoulder, before shrugging and running off to try and convince his dad to play volleyball with him.
It wasn't until a few years later that he truly understood what the soulmark, and his future mark mate, truly meant.
He was told of how this person would "complete" him. How they would be the only person to truly understand him. How, once the two of them met, they would never want or need anyone else.
Still, he didn't really care. He had volleyball. A mark mate didn't matter.
Of course, Oikawa Tooru changed that.
Kageyama had been fascinated with the older setter the moment he saw him that first day at volleyball practice. He was amazing. Everyone loved him. Kageyama wanted to be like him. He wanted to know Oikawa, wanted to be the one Oikawa smiled at. Like he smiled at Iwaizumi. Wanted to learn from him, learn how to be a better setter, how to get the rest of his teammates to look to him the way they did Oikawa.
Oikawa, on the other hand, only wanted Kageyama to leave him alone.
Anytime Kageyama tried to talk to Oikawa, the senior would either brush him off completely or make some sort of comment that made a stinging sensation appear in Kageyama's chest.
It was after one of those comments that Kageyama had seen the mark.
He had turned away from Oikawa, knowing that if he turned just right the other wouldn't see the hurt that flashed across his face, when Oikawa bent to pick up one of the discarded volleyballs and his shirt hung off of his chest slightly, just enough that a strip of skin was visible. And on that skin was…
"What are you doing?" Oikawa screeched when Kageyama grabbed the collar of his shirt, moving it down just enough so that he could see the mark clearly. Kageyama stared at in in awe, unable to believe that this boy, this perfect boy that he admired so much, had his matching mark. "Get off of me!" Oikawa snapped, moving his hands to press against Kageyama's chest and pushing.
Kageyama stumbled back, losing his balance and slamming onto the hard floor. He blinked in confusion for a moment, wondering how it was he got there, before standing and moving the collar of his own shirt. "Tobio-chan-"
Oikawa broke off, seeming to have caught the mark on Kageyama's shoulder. His mouth dropped for a moment and a look of horror crossed his face. Kageyama frowned. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. He had always been told that people were excited to meet their markmate. Not this. Not this look of horror mixed with disgust.
Kageyama let his shirt go, his mark once again covered, as Oikawa covered his eyes with his hand. "Right," Kageyama heard him mutter, "of course it's him. Why wouldn't it be? You have the worst luck, Tooru." He let out a deep breath and let he hand drop from his face. He looked at Kageyama once more, a plastic smile sliding into place. "Just forget it, Tobio-chan. It doesn't mean anything."
"But-"
"Forget it," Oikawa snapped, the smile disappearing. "It's a mistake. I can't stand you and I'm not going to pretend to like you because of some stupid mark. Forget about it."
Kageyama could only stare as Oikawa tossed the volleyball into a nearby bin and walk out of the gym.
Oikawa graduated and Kageyama became the main setter. No matter how he tried, he couldn't forget the look on Oikawa's face the night he saw Kageyama's mark – nor could he forget the next meeting the two had. He had honestly thought Oikawa was going to hit him. And he might have, if Iwaizumi hadn't appeared when he did.
Kageyama was pretty sure markmates weren't supposed to hit each other.
So maybe Oikawa was right. Maybe it was a mistake.
But Kageyama had noticed his mark was different. The color had somewhat faded. And it was fading more and more the longer Kageyama was away from Oikawa.
Kageyama didn't see Oikawa again until his third year. It had been a tough year anyhow. He knew he was pushing his team. He knew they didn't really like him. But he wanted to win, wanted to push them to be the best they could be. He just didn't know how. He wasn't like Oikawa, who could easily inspire and encourage his teammates into doing things they would never have tried to do before. Kageyama just wanted the former setter to be proud of his former team.
On top of that, Kageyama had been working harder than he ever had before. Aobajosai had a strict academic policy and the entrance exam wasn't easy. If he wanted to get in, if he wanted to once again be on the same team as Oikawa, to maybe one day play on the same court as him. And he had done it. He had managed, barely, to get in.
He had been so excited. He had wanted to prove that he and his team could win. And yet it turned into the worst day of his life. His team turned away from him, he got benched, and the team lost the championship. The fact that his team would have rather lost than work with him for one more game…it was humiliating.
And Oikawa had been there to see his humiliation.
He had seen the look again. Utter disgust. Shame.
"I hope you aren't planning on going to Aobajosai," Oikawa muttered as he walked by, "we don't need someone like you."
Kageyama froze as Oikawa made his way over to his former team, easily lifting their spirits and going step by step of things that they should improve on, even giving the backup setter some tips.
That night, Kageyama tore up his acceptance offer from Aobajosai.
_
His mark had almost completely faded by the next time he saw the other setter. It was now a vague outline, the color almost completely washed out. He avoided looking at it as often as possible. Just seeing it made him sick to his stomach.
When sensei announced the practice match, Kageyama was sure he was going to be sick. For the first time in his life, he actually considered skipping volleyball. Many people from his junior high attended Aobajosai and none of them would be happy to see him. But there was one particular person that Kageyama wanted to avoid at all costs.
But the one condition the team had to even attend the match was that Kageyama would be playing. If he didn't show up, he knew the match would be canceled. And his team would blame him. He couldn't have that happen, not with this new team, this team who actually seemed to like him. Well, most of them. Some of them. Sort of.
So here he was. At the school he had once dreamed of joining, playing the team he had wanted to be a part of. He avoided the eyes of those on the other side of the net, knowing at least two of them were glaring while there was one who constantly trying to catch his eye. Kageyama didn't want to look to his former senior and teammate. He was sure that there was only one person, beside Kageyama and Oikawa, who knew that the two were matched. Kageyama wanted to avoid Iwaizumi as long as possible.
Truthfully, the longer he was playing, the better he began to feel. At first, he had been worried about the match. Afraid that Hinata, with his constant nerves, wouldn't be able to pull it together and they would fail miserably in front of the people Kageyama had once wanted to prove himself to. But Hinata had finally pulled his head out of his ass, they were actually winning, and Oikawa was nowhere to be seen. So, Kageyama had actually allowed himself to relax and focus on the game.
He shouldn't have.
As soon as Kageyama was sure that everything was going to turn out okay, that they would win and he wouldn't have to see Oikawa – he showed up. Just walked into the gym like everything was perfectly fine, like seeing him hadn't made Kageyama's heart feel like it was going to jump out of his chest.
He first heard the girls screaming. He turned his head slightly – and that's when he saw him. Standing in front of his coach, his hands resting in the pockets of his jacket. "Oh, Oikawa. You're back. How's the ankle?"
Oikawa smiled and Kageyama unconsciously took a step back. "It's fine. I can get back to regular practice. It was just a slight sprain."
"For crying out loud! Be careful!" The Coach snapped back. "You're the one that asked to play against Kageyama. What do we do without our official setter? It's embarrassing."
Of course he was. Kageyama took a deep breath and turned his head slightly when he heard some girls screaming for Oikawa up in the balcony. From the corner of his eye, he saw Oikawa had also heard the girls and was smiling and waving toward them. Kageyama suddenly felt a lump in his throat. Why was he here? Couldn't Oikawa have just left him alone?
"Kageyama-kun, who's that nice guy?" Tanaka asked creepily. "I find him unpleasant."
You and me both, Kageyama thought viciously. He was saved from answering by Diachi, "He's the captain of Aobajosai."
Kageyama took a deep breath and opened his mouth, "Oikawa-san is a super aggressive setter. His attack power is also probably the top of his team." Kageyama felt himself scowl viciously, "And he's got a terrible personality. Maybe even worse than Tsukishima."
"He must be really bad!" Hinata gasped.
"Did you know him from Kitagawa Daiichi?" Tanaka questioned.
"Yes," Kageyama confirmed. His chest burned. His mark felt like it was on fire. He forced himself not to touch it, not to look down. No one in this gym could know. He was just starting to get along with his teammates, if they knew his markmate wanted nothing to do with him…not to mention the guys on Aobajosai. Who knows what they would do with that knowledge. "He was my senpai in junior high."
At that moment, Oikawa turned to face the Karasuno group. He smiled that fake, brilliant smile and waved his hand. "Yoo-hoo! Long time no see, Tobio-chan."
Kageyama thought he might actually fall to the ground in pain when Oikawa spoke to him. His chest felt like it was on fire. "So nice to see you," Oikawa continued. "You still doing the King thing?"
Bastard.
Kageyama turned his head away, not wanting to look at that face. "I learned serving and blocking by watching him play," he said to Diachi. "His skills are extremely high." He saw Hinata blanch from the corner of his eye and he turned to the other boy. "But we have to focus on the match now," the match. Just focus on the match. Don't think about the way your chest might burst into flames and your heart is tearing itself to shreds. "We're going to win the final set for sure."
"Y-yeah," Hinata agreed.
"Tanaka-san, please stop with the intimidation!" Kageyama snapped, knowing it wouldn't do any good.
Oikawa was pointed off the court to warm up by his coach and he turned to leave – but as he did, he looked back at Kageyama over his shoulder and gave him a smirk. Kageyama scowled and tore his gaze away from the older boy. He couldn't let Oikawa get to him.
The game started out well, Karasuno was winning and they only had one more point to get before they won the set…when Oikawa was placed into the game as a pinch-server. Kageyama frowned and took a step back. He watched as Oikawa pointed to Tsukishima and felt a sinking in his stomach. The ball few toward the blonde and Kageyama knew that this was it. He had to shut it down or Aobajosai would take this round. Oikawa got the ball back in hand and smirked, "Just as I thought. I watched part of the match…you, number 6, and you, number 5. You're not good receivers, are you?" He asked with that sickly grin. Kageyama's entire body tightened at the sight. "You must be first years. Okay, let's score another one."
And score he did, serving right toward Tsukishima.
"Oh, one more point and we're tied," Oikawa said brightly.
"Hey! You! Great King!" Kageyama turned to Hinata, eyes wide. What the hell was he doing?! "Aim here! I'll receive it! Don't underestimate me! Aim here!"
IDIOT!
"Stop raising a fuss, it's embarrassing!" Tsukishima snapped. It was probably the first time Kageyama agreed with the blonde.
"What did you say?" Hinata growled. "In volleyball, everyone on this side of the net is your ally!"
Kageyama fought back a smirk at the disgust on Tsukishima's face. Trust Hinata to quote Tanaka at the irritating blonde.
"Alright, all of you scoot toward the back. Tsukishima, you go closer to the sideline." Daichi commented.
They did as instructed and Diachi got ready for the serve he knew was coming. Kageyama felt something like pride toward his captain – it wasn't everyone that made himself vulnerable to Oikawa. "You can't defend it by yourself!" Oikawa said as he served – once again toward Tsukishima. But he got it up this time and Kageyama saw Oikawa smirk. The ball flew toward Aobajosai and Oikawa received it cleanly. The setter set it to Kindaichi and Kageyama watched as Hinata was there to block it.
"It's up!" Kageyama said as he ran forward to intercept it.
The second Hinata landed he took off to the other side of the net, ready to spike. I can't catch up to him if I'm one step, one second behind, Kageyama thought. The only thing I can do to catch him… He tossed the ball quickly, knowing Hinata would be there. And he was. Hinata hit the ball, spiking it right past Oikawa's shoulder. Kageyama felt a moment of pleasure at the pure shock on Oikawa's face. For the first time, that fake smile was gone and the irritation was there for all to see as he turned slightly to look at the ball that was rolling on the floor.
Karasuno had won. Kageyama hurried to the sideline where Takada-sensei was waiting and bowed toward him with the rest of his teammates. Takada-sensei gave a speech that might have brought tears to Kageyama's eyes for a moment. Or maybe that was the way Oikawa was still staring at them from across the court. He finally had the attention he craved…but he had a feeling it wasn't a good thing.
He stepped out of the gym and saw Kindaichi a moment later. He took a deep breath and moved forward. Maybe, just maybe, if he made up with Kindaichi…maybe he could at least start to repair things. "Kindaichi," he said, intending to continue with his apology. But the moment he stood facing the other boy, that memory returned. Of him tossing the ball and no one being there to spike it. He shook his head and opened his mouth. He had to do this-
"Don't apologize!" Kindachi snapped loudly. Kageyama jerked back at the words. "Because I wont apologize either!"
Well, that wasn't going to work. "Okay," Kageyama replied.
"You're still an oppressive king, as far as I'm concerned," Kindaichi continued. "You're irritating, and there's no one I want to crust more than you."
"Yeah," he could see that.
"So don't apologize!"
"Yeah."
"I'm not reconciling with you! We weren't friends in the first place."
We weren't? "Yeah."
"And the next time, we'll win for sure!" Kindaichi took a step forward.
Well, Kageyama couldn't agree with that. "The next time…" he broke off as he heard Hinata moving toward them, singing of all things. He saw Hinata round the corner and then duck back when he noticed Kageyama and Kindaichi standing there. Kageyama rolled his eyes and continued. "Kindaichi, the next time we battle, we will win again." KIndaich reared back and Kageyama turned around walked toward Hinata.
"Did you cry?" HInata asked cheekily.
Kageyama frowned, "Of course I didn't cry, idiot! Now go use the toilet!"
"You can't fool me, Kageyama-kun!" Hinata said with a grin.
"Hinata, you dumbass!" Kageyama cursed, smacking the other boy in the head.
He had hoped that that was it. That they would all be able to return home and he wouldn't have to deal with Oikawa again. He really should have expected Oikawa to be waiting for them at the gate. "Spoken like a true captain," Oikawa said with a smirk. The entire team stopped moving at the imposing figure. "You know your stuff." He gave them a haughty smirk and Kageyama frowned as half of his team recoiled.
"The Great King makes his entrance!" Hinata said loudly. Kageyama turned to him with a frown. The Great King…?
"You got a problem?" Tanaka asked Oikawa, walking forward with Hinata ducking behind him.
"Wanna fight, huh?" Hinata questioned. Dumbass.
"Don't be so hostile," Oikawa said, that fake grin once again plastered on his face. "You, little one," Hinata paled, "your last one-touch and broad attack were amazing."
"Oh…" Hinata said with a blush.
Kageyama scowled when he saw the look on Oikawa's face. It was the same look he would get right before he tore Kageyama down during training in junior high. The look that always made Kageyama feel like he wasn't worth anything. "Let's give it all we got the next time, right from the start," Oikawa continued. "You didn't get to see our set up. Oh, yes, and we'll be improving our serves, too," he said with a grin at Tsukishima. "It's true, your offense was amazing but your receives aren't polished. You'll reach your limit very quickly. I'm not the only one who hits powerful serves." He began walking forward, "The Inter-High preliminaries are coming up soon. Don't get eliminated, okay?" He stopped right in front of Kageyama. "Because I…" he pointed and Kageyama blanched as the glare hit him full force. "…want to pulverize my dear underclassman, setter-on-setter, in an official match."
Kageyama's gaze narrowed in on Oikawa. He was aware that Hinata had spoken, but he didn't know what the other had said. He was fighting to keep himself from moving forward. Everything in his body wanted him to move toward the older boy. To make up with him. Oikawa moved, walking right by Kageyama, less than a hair between them. It was then that Kageyama tuned back in, hearing Oikawa's parting comment. "There's not much time left til the tournament. I look forward to seeing you there."
Kageyama panicked. If his team let Oikawa in, if they let him tear them down the same way he had done to him in junior high… "Please don't listen. He likes to razz people like that."
But Diachi laughed and Kageyama feared that Oikawa really had broken his captain. "It's true. We don't have much time before the Inter-High preliminaries. But he should be coming back soon."
"Who's coming back?" Hinata questioned.
"The Guardian Deity of Karasuno," the captain answered, making Kageyama's brow furrow in confusion. The what now?
The further away Oikawa moved, the less Kageyama felt is chest burn. When the older boy was fully out of sight, Kageyama felt the pressure finally disappear. He was quiet as they went back to Karasuno and began to clean the gym. He made sure Hinata didn't fall asleep standing up and then went to the store down the street for buns… but they were out. The man at the counter threw them bars and Kageyama bowed in thanks.
He walked home with the other club members, eating quickly and listening as Tanaka questioned why Kaeyama was at Karasuno. He answered truthfully that he had never received a recommendation to enter Shiratorizawa and had failed the entrance exam. He explained that Coach Ukai had been the reason he joined Karasuno, but Suga explained that Coach Ukai had collapsed and wouldn't be coaching them.
Kageyama kept the rest to himself. That his original plan had been to enter Aobajosai and he had decided against it after the championship game and the words from Oikawa. He had decided to get into Shiratorizawa because of the rivalry – because Oikawa would be forced to notice him. But when that failed as well, Karasuno had seemed like his best bet. He thought, that with Coach Ukai, there would be a chance…
But not all had failed. After all, he had gone up against Aobajosai today. He had seen Oikawa. For the first time in years, he actually had the other boys attention. So why did he feel worse now than he had before?
_
He had a message waiting on his phone that night.
Good game today. I didn't get a chance to talk to you. We should meet up sometime.
Iwaizumi had been the one person on the team in junior high that had actually seemed to like Kageyama. The one person Kageyama could count on to work with him that wouldn't get angry. But he was still Oikawa's best friend. He was the one person that knew that Oikawa was Kageyama's soulmate.
He didn't want to deal with it.
So he ignored it. He didn't respond to the message and went on with his life. He went to school, to practice, then home. He hoped that Iwaizumi would assume that he had changed his number.
But a week later, there was another message.
Kageyama, you have to talk about it eventually. It won't just go away.
Why should he be the one that has to talk about it? Oikawa was the one that didn't want it. Oikawa was the one that decided to ignore it. Oikawa was the one that hated him. It was all Oikawa. If he was allowed to ignore it, why couldn't Kageyama?
He turned the phone off and went back to staring at his homework. He had to concentrate, anyway. If he didn't, he would fail. And failing meant no volleyball. He didn't have time to worry about Iwaizumi-san. Not now.
The next message came five days later.
Oikawa had been training more after the game. If he isn't careful, he's really going to mess up that knee.
Kageyama scowled. Everyone knew about Oikawa's knee. He had messed it up in his third year of junior high and had been told to take it easy on the extra practice. Oikawa knew not to overwork himself.
But it wasn't Kageyama's concern. Oikawa could do what he wanted to do. It wasn't like he would listen to Kageyama anyway.
The messages became more and more frequent. Soon, they were coming daily. Then twice a day.
I pulled Oikawa out of the gym but I think he's going back after we get home.
He's been talking about you since the practice match. I haven't heard your name this often in years.
How is Karasuno doing?
How are you doing at Karasuno? Everything okay?
How's that shrimp? He's got a lot to improve on, but he was surprising during the match.
Kageyama, you have to respond at some point.
You can't keep ignoring it.
Kageyama.
Oikawa began questioning Kindaichi and Kunimi about you today. The more answers he gets, the more furious he seems. What the hell happened after we left?
Why didn't you tell us you got accepted into Aobajosai?
I thought Oikawa was going to pass out when he found out.
Why did you go to Karasuno?
Kageyama…
It was the last few messages that got to him. How did they find out? Who had told? He hadn't told anyone beside his mother and she had no idea why he had decided not to go. His mother had married again after his father left and Kageyama lived in a small apartment not too far from Karasuno. He met with his mother once a month for a meal and spoke to her weekly, but he had never gone into details with her.
Finally, he picked up his phone.
Sent 20:24: Who told you? I never told anyone.
Received 20:26: Kunimi. I don't know how he found out. Are you going to answer?
Sent 20:46: No one wanted me there.
Received 20:47: That isn't true.
Sent 21:02: Oikawa-san made it very clear. He made all of it clear. He wants nothing to do with me.
Sent 21:03: Please leave it alone, Iwaizumi-san.
Received 21:17: Kageyama, Oikawa is my best friend but he's an idiot.
Received 21:18: You can't live your entire life around Oikawa.
Received 21:18: Not to say that I don't think the two of you need to talk.
Received 21:19: because you do
Received 21:20: need to talk. You and Oikawa.
Sent 21:21: No.
After that first conversation, the messages kept coming. Soon enough, Kageyama found himself asking Iwaizumi for help with his homework on more than one occasion. Iwazuimi was careful not to bring Oikawa up most of the time, and when he did it was usually just to inform Kageyama when he thought Oikawa was doing something stupid. Kageyama never commented on it and he felt almost pleased that Iwaizumi thought he should be informed of these things.
Not that he would ever admit to it.
He didn't see Oikawa again until Inter-High. The fought as hard as they could but it wasn't enough. They lost and Aobajosai would be moving on to the finals. He was on the floor, exhausted and empty. They had tried but it was nothing compared to Oikawa and his team. Oikawa might not want to be with him, might not want to talk to him, but he knew him. He was able to read Kageyama. He knew that he would toss to Hinata.
He had lost.
He looked toward Oikawa but Oikawa wasn't looking at him.
He was no longer worth his time.
Received 19:02: It was a good game. Oikawa mentioned that he saw a difference in you.
Sent 19:26: What does that mean
Received 19:32: something about you going from a dictator to a decent king.
Received 19:33: I'm pretty sure it was a compliment.
Received 19:52: Kageyama?
Sent 20:06: Not that it matters now.
Received 20:08: What does that mean?
Received 20:16: Kageyama, it was a good game. You had me worried. You had Oikawa worried.
Received 20:27: Kageyama.
Sent 20:34: Good night Iwaizumi-san.
Kageyama woke to his phone ringing the next morning. He barely glanced at the name before picking it up. "Good morning, Okasan."
"Tobio, is everything alright? I got a phone call from one of your volleyball friends," his mother's voice came softly over the phone.
"Huh?" Who had his mother's number?
"Hajime asked me if you were okay, Tobio. I wasn't aware the two of you were still friends," She said this happily. " I was surprised when he called me. Why didn't you tell me you had a match yesterday? I'm sorry that your team lost."
"Everything is fine," Tobio said, his hands clenching on his blanket. "I'm sorry if you were worried."
"Hmm," his mother sighed. "Alright. I will see you next week, Tobio."
"Goodbye, Okasan."
He sighed as he hung up the phone. His mother's number would have been on the contact sheet from his first year in junior high – Iwaizumi must still have it. He should have responded to the messages last night. Maybe then this would have been avoided.
Sent 09:03: I am fine, Iwaizumi-san.
Received 09:05: Do you have practice today? Our practice is this afternoon. If you have time, we could meet for lunch.
Sent 09:11: We have afternoon practice as well.
Received 09:13: Alright, why don't we meet in front of Kitagawa Daiichi at 11.
Sent 09:22: Yes
Iwaizumi was waiting for him when Kageyama made it to his old junior high. The third year waved a hand and met him halfway. "Hey. Ramen?"
Kageyama nodded and the two quickly made their way to a place the junior high team used to frequent after matches. They quickly sat and ordered but neither of them bothered to speak until the bowls had been placed in front of them. It was only when Kageyama began to eat that Iwaizumi spoke. "I didn't know you no longer lived with your mother."
Kageyama swallowed the ramen quickly and concentrated on getting another bite. He didn't look up as he answered. "Okaasan remarried. She lives with her husband and his daughter. I live not far from Karasuno."
Iwaizumi was silent for a moment, "When exactly did that happen? I remember your mother and father coming to matches…"
"Otosan divorced okasan shortly after my first year of junior high. Okasan remarried toward the end of my third year."
The two finished in silence. It wasn't until they were both done that Iwaizumi leaned back in his chair and fixed his gaze on Kageyama. "I'm going to assume that your father leaving contributed to the change Kindaichi and Kunimi referred to in your second year. And the changes with your mother remarrying contributed to the absolute control you tried to exhibit in your third."
Kageyama shifted uncomfortably and avoided the gaze in front of him. He knew he had been out of line the last couple of years. He agreed that the change in his family probably had something to do with it…and the difficulties with Oikawa really didn't help.
Volleyball was the only thing he was good at. He wasn't good at school. His otosan hadn't contacted him since he left. Okasan tried, but she was busy with her new family and her own career. Oikawa wanted nothing to do with him. Volleyball was the only thing he had going for him and he had thrown himself into it whole heartedly.
But it hadn't been enough. He had pushed away his junior high team. Had ended up on the bench during the championship game. And had lost to Oikawa in his first Inter-High.
It was just never enough.
"Hmm," Iwaizumi said, leaning forward and peering at Kageyama. "Well, how are things going at Karasuno? Everything okay with your studies?"