Beast Machines: The Lost Episodes - Season 1

ACT 3 - Collisions

Episode 9 - Benny and Tankorr Take a Break, by Traegorn RavenHawk
Episode 9B/10 - Phil Bondius Emeritus, by TheOrange
Episode 9c/11 - Denial and Trial, by Traegorn RavenHawk
Episode 9D/12 - The Freak Component, by TheOrange

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Please also read Act 1 - Changes, Act 2 - Bonds, End of the Line, and the Phil Bond one-shot: Mr. Ngo.

Read Season 2 at [ http://www.trhonline.com/bmle ].

Episode 9 - Benny and Tankorr Take a Break, by Traegorn RavenHawk

Benny is walking around Cybertron...

Benny: Damn! Trapped on some ass backwards robot planet in some indeterminate time frame with no one to scam... Jeez. An' I got five kids to feed! Stupid moletank, and shit...

Turns Corner and walks into Tankorr

Benny: Watch where you're going bitch! Your disapearin'' red striped ass scared the hell out of me!

Tankorr: Now this is just grand. A human being...

Benny: Mutant!

Tankorr: Whatever! A human being, or a close facsimile of one, is walking around Cybertron. Is Megatron employing Organics now, or has Optimus figured out a way to drag you out of the Oracle.

Benny: Naw man, some damned Moletank...

Tankorr: Mr. Bamt...

Benny: Yeah, his fucked up ass dragged me through time to be some sort of ass master...

Tankorr: Headmaster...

Benny: You sure with that guy?

Tankorr: No.

Benny: Well, to be some sort of master, or some such shit, and make people apologize or something.

Tankorr: He took my drones.

Benny: So you don't like him either?

Tankorr: About as much as I like having sex with Starscream.

Benny: ...

Tankorr: THAT MEANS I DON'T LIKE HIM!

Benny: suuuuuure......

Elsewhere

Rattrap and Nightscream are patrolling for no good reason. Nightscream looks worse for wear.

Nightscream: please... stop... shooting... me....

Rattrap: Don't make me reload kid.

Nightscream: but...

Rattrap: Shoots Nightscream I warned ya'

A River bank

Benny and Tankorr are skipping stones...

Benny: So if Megatron is so anti-organics, why'd he create NickBee?

Tankorr: Simple. It's the fanfic writer's fault.

Benny: This is a fanfic?

Tankorr: Duh. Why do you think there are this many characters thrown in by Traegorn, like NickBee, You, Mr. Bamt, the Diagnostic Drone has been renamed Bob Ski....

Benny: Wait!, you mean he came up with Mr. Bamt?

Tankorr: Well, not the current one writing, and Mr. Bamt sort of came up with himself...

Flashback -- Ben Yee's Beast Machines Bulletin Board, Late 1999

Traegorn/Trægonis: Dude, calm down...

You Know Who: i am guardian of this board........apologize now....

The Orange: You are so unfroody.

Phil Bond: Hold me Orange, hold me....

NetworkGuy: You all need mental help...

/Flashback

Tankorr: So maybe it didn't happen exactly like that...

Benny: Phil is gonna kick Traegorn's ass, huh.

Tankorr: He'll probably try at least....

Benny: Ha! Phil trying to kick Traegorn's ass.... Skips a stone across the river

Back to Elsewhere

Rattrap: Into comm. unit Rattrap to Optimus! Uhh... I kind of hurt Nightscream....

Nightscream: ughhh.....

Optimus Through communicator: I can't DEAL with that now!

Rattrap: What are you? Ultra Magnus?

Optimus: Uhh, I mean, There's no TIME for that!

Rattrap: Better.

Optimus: Thanks!

Back to the River

Benny: So... where exactly did this riverbed come from?

Tankorr: What? A robotic planet can have miles of sewers, and no rivers?

Benny: Sorry, but I got five kids to feed.

Tankorr: Suuure. Rolls eyes

Benny: WHAT!!

Elsewhere again...

Rattrap: 'Eh, will you heal yourself already? I really want to shoot you!

Nightscream: Blow me.

Rattrap: You are so lucky this isn't a Transformers World's Worst Fanfic....

Nightscream: Why? Traegorn RavenHawk started using #wiigii!...

Rattrap: By Primus no....

Nightscream: Exactly...

Back at the River

Tankorr: So, that's why I hate Bob Skir.

Benny: He really did that to those poor children?

Tankorr: Yup.

Benny: But the Sound of Music?

Tankorr: The remastered version.

Benny: shiver

Tankorr: I know...

Back to Elsewhere

Rattrap: So, that's what Optimus' toy looks like.

Nightscream: Oh god... what's gonna happen to us?

Rattrap: I don't know, stinky, I don't know.

Back at Megatron's Evil Palace of Indifference

Megatron: Why am I doing nothing?

Bob Skir/Drone: I honestly don't care about you anymore. This Benny Chap is entertaining.

Megatron: What?!

BS/D: Dance puppet! Dance!

Megatron: dancing around Oh no....

Unicron's Head: From the Sky At least he didn't push you out of shot ever...

Back to the River

Benny: So that's when I turned on Arnold...

Tankorr: The weak fleshling deserved it...

Benny: Exactly!

Tankorr: And besides, like you said, you got five kids to feed!

Benny: Suuurrre......

Yet another Elsewhere, but not the first elsewhere

Cheapwhore and Black-a-whack-nia

Cheetor and BA: HEY!

I mean, Cheetor and Blackarachnia....

Blackarachnia: Better.

Cheetor: Jeez, how bored are you Mr. RavenHawk?

TRH: I'm not bored actually, I just felt that I needed to say what was happening to the rest of the cast.

Cheetor: Why?

TRH: Habit, I guess.

BA: Well, stop it already! Get back to the plot.

Cheetor: Even if this is turning into what a Kevin Smith episode of Beast Machines would look like.

TRH: Shut up Hot Rod.

Cheetor: I AM NOT HOT ROD! runs off

Back to the First Elsewhere

Rattrap: You feelin' better flyboy?

Nightscream: All better!

Rattrap: Good! Pulls out pistol

Nightscream: Uhh, Hey! Isn't that a Riverbed over there?

Rattrap: Where?

The Riverbed

Tankorr: Hmmm... I seem to be tracking a maximal or two.

Benny: Who cares?

Tankorr: Good point

Rattrap and Nightscream walk up, seeing Benny and Tankorr skipping rocks.

Rattrap: eh, what's goin' on.

Tankorr: Skipping rocks.

Rattrap: Why?

Tankorr: What else are we going to do?

Rattrap: eyes Nightscream Oh, I've got an idea....

five minutes later

Rattrap: PULL!

Benny pulls a lever on a catapult, flinging Nightscream into the air.

Tankorr and Rattrap shoot at him.

Nightscream: Why can't we all just get along? gasp

The End.

Please feel free to go on to Episode 9b/10 - Phil Bondius Emeritus