Beast Machines: The Lost Episodes - Season 1

ACT 1 - Changes

Episode 1 - Rattrap 1/2, by Traegorn RaveHawk
Episode 2 - Enter NickBee, by Traegorn RavenHawk
Episode 3 - Conforming Composition, by Traegorn RavenHawk
Episode 4 - There Can Never Be a Title, by Traegorn RavenHawk

EMAIL: [ lostepisodes@tfboogaloo.com ]
OFFICIAL WEBSITE: [ http://www.trhonline.com/bmle ]
ONLINE STORE: [ http://www.cafepress.com/bmle ]

If you want to be notified of further Lost Episodes updates, including new Phil Bond stories and the upcoming Robots in Disguise parody, send a blank email to [ tranfans-subscribe@tfboogaloo.com ]. You will be notified promptly of any updates to the Lost Episodes mythos!

Please also read Act 2 - Bonds, Act 3 - Collisions, End of the Line, and the Phil Bond one-shot: Mr. Ngo.

Read Season 2 at [ http://www.trhonline.com/bmle ].

Episode 1 - Rattrap 1/2, by Traegorn RavenHawk

Rattrap runs quickly down a tunnel.

Rattrap: Jeez, that damned lab has to be here somewhere....

Rattrap hops up through a hole and finds himself face to face with...

Blackarachnia: Guess the Sewers weren't faster this time, huh.

Rattrap: Man, you practically scared the swiss outa.. Damnit! I hate these cheese references!

Blackarachnia: Then why don't you just *stop* making them!

Rattrap: I can't! For some reason it's built into the programming of the new body! Not to mention that it makes me act like I'm five....

Blackarachnia: Yeah, I've noticed. That still doesn't explain why you ran away from base.

Rattrap: Look around, webby. What do you see.

Blackarachnia looks around for the first time.

Blackarachnia: It's a lab. Suprise suprise. This is Cybertron. There are a lot of these around.

Rattrap: sigh Y'just don't get it kid.

Rattrap trots over to a console.

Rattrap: I found this place a few days ago. There's a rather unique virus on the files. It's a regression virus

Blackarachnia: A what?

Rattrap: A Regression Virus. The "Jusenkyo" virus to be exact. It morphs you to a previous state.

Blackarachnia: What good is that.

Rattrap: Well, if you haven't noticed... I AM TRANSFORMED!

Rattrap transforms.

Rattrap: I look like an idiot! Hmm, and where the hell did the oracle put guns? Nowhere! I'm a frickin' sharp shooter for Primus' sake!

Blackarachnia: Are you crazy! Megatron will have the Vehicons here any minute!

Meanwhile, at the Megatron's Lair

Megatron: Yessss, a Maximal has yet again done something incredibly stupid. Yesssss. Now, what shall I do. JETSTORM!!

Jetstorm: (From his room) What is it! Pokemon is on!

Megatron: (Rolls his eyes) As the only intelligent Vehicon not thinking with his Rigid Grill Structure, I need you to perform a mission. Yesssss.

Jetstorm: But Pokemon is on!

Megatron: GO NOW! Yessssss.

Jetstorm: Sure. to himself as soon as the 20 hour Pokemon marathon is over.

Back at the lab

Rattrap: Don't worry. I've been working on this. All I have to do is download it and....

Rattrap plugs his tail into the wall.

Computer: Reformatting to modified older form.

Rattrap lifts and glows -- and is returned to his original Beast Wars model.

Rattrap: All right!

Rattrap flips out his pistol.

Rattrap: Nightscream is going to find life a little more interesting.

Blackarachnia: What are you doing! Are you insane! What about the virus!

Blackarachnia swings a leg at the console.

Rattrap: NO! Stop!

Blackarachnia suddenly is covered in sparking energy and begins to morph...

...into Tarantulas!!

Rattrap: Holy shit!

Blackarachnia/Tarantulas: What are you yelling about.

Rattrap: Look at yourself!

B/T: Looking down Holy shit!

Rattrap: That's what I said! Is that still you Blackarachnia?

B/T: Last time I checked...

Rattrap: The Virus wasn't set for you.... And you must have had Tarantulas' pattern left over from your Predicon days and... man oh man.

B/T: What the hell am I going to do!

Rattrap: I don't know, come on, lets get out of here.

Rattrap returns to beast mode and hops into the sewers.

Blackarachnia (still looking like Tarantulas) transforms and hops in after him. When he/she hits the water.. she returns to her Beast Machine's form.

Blackarachnia: What the? I'm back to my reformatted body.

Rattrap: Weird, the virus is supposed to stay stable.. Lets get you back to base.

Suddenly a steam vent covers Blackarachnia in hot water... and she ends up as Tarantulas again...

Blackarachnia: I'm beginning to see a pattern.

Back at Meg's big place of Evil people

Jetstorm: Hehe, Pikachu is so funny. "pika! Pika!" hahaha

Megatron: JETSTORM!

Jetstorm: Oh shit.

The Maximal Base

Rattrap, and the Tarantulas looking Blackarachnia enter the area.

Rattrap: You better stay outside the door. I'll go in first. Eh, Optimus? Cheetor? Dickhea... I mean Nightscream?

Primal: sitting in lotus position with back to door What is it Rattrap? I'm becoming one with the matrix here! buddha buddha buddha...

Rattrap: We have a slight situation.

Primal: turns and faces him What is... oh my. This is new.

Rattrap: Old actually.

Primal: Whatever. Didn't we reformat you?

Rattrap: Yeah! Well, it sucked. Rattrap MAXIMIZE!

Rattrap returns to robot form.

Nightscream enters.

Nightscream: What the hell? Who are you!

Rattrap: Shut up. shoots Nightscream in the wing knocking Nightscream to the ground

Cheetor enters gratuitously because everyone else was in on the action, and this is an ensemble show. I mean hey, we're trying to sell toys that won't be out until after Christmas...

Cheetor: Whoa, Rattrap. What the hell is going on?

Primal: Yes. Do explain.

Rattrap: Well, before I do, maybe you should see this.

Blackarachnia enters, looking like Tarantulas

Primal: HOLY PRIMUS!

Blackarachnia: I'm Blackarachnia, sorry about this.

Meg's house of eternal badness

Jetstorm: But Megatron! I was just about to...

Megatron: That was four hours ago! Yessss...

Jetstorm: Yeah, but it's Pokemon....

Megatron: Enough, insolent whelp! Megatron retreats. It looks as though I may need to create a new Vehicon design... Yesss. A new approach... I must destroy them with what they hate the most... yessssss.....

Maximal Home-turf

Cheetor: So, Hot water turns her into Tarantulas, and cold water returns her to normal.

Rattrap: Exactly!

Cheetor: Can I have some pie now?

Rattrap: No bumblebee, you can't.

Cheetor: I AM NOT BUMBLEBEE! Runs away

Primal: That still doesn't explain why Megatron's virus doesn't effect you. How can you function?

Rattrap: Well, as far as I can guess the Jusenkyo virus keeps it out of my system...

Nightscream: Why is Blackarachnia changing?

Rattrap shoots Nightscream in the wing.

Rattrap: Shut up flyboy.

Primal: You really have to stop doing that. And get back into beast mode for the sake of Primus!

A voice from above: Too late for that!

The Maximals look up and see a blurry yellow car shape falling towards them...

Blackarachnia (now back in regular form): BumbleBee?

Voice: Not quite.

What lands in front of her, can only be described as SCARY.

Voice (to the tune of "Larger than Life"): Hey Max-i-mals can't you see, can't you see?
Megatron has combined me with Bum-ble-bee!
They copied my face... From a ReBoot sprite...
Surrender now or Prepare to fight!

Cheetor (who is miraculously back): Oh my god, it's BumbleBee with Nick from the Backstreet Boy's head on it!

Rattrap: He looks exactly like he did in that Larger than Life Video.

Nightscream: You do realize that we aren't supposed to know this stuff....

Rattrap: Shut up! shoots Nightscream in the wing

NickBee: I am NickBee! And my drones will finish you off. BumbleCons! Attack!

A stream of yellow drones enter the room.

Primal: I recommend running.

Cheetor: I'm a fan of that!

The Maximals run like Hell

To be Continued

Next time on The Lost Episodes:

NickBee: Quit playing games, Everybody! (NickBee's back!)

Please feel free to go on to Episode 2 - Enter NickBee