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He had walked out on her again. Serena sighed as she walked into her cold apartment. Here she was again, as lonely as she was seven years ago. Seven years ago, when he had so conveniently informed her that, "There was no us". But so much had changed after that. He had told her he loved her. He proposed to her that night in their bedroom just after they made love. And he seemed so happy, when he said those vows. The first eight or so months of their lives as a married couple had been so glorious. They were the couple of the Upper East Side. She would revel in the envious looks people threw their way. And she would always marvel herself for finally figuring out her life and being with a man who truly loved and valued her. But then, somewhere along the way things started falling apart. Somewhere along the way, Dan's work became more important than her. Then one day, push came to shove, and he walked out on her. He simply packed his bags, disregarded her pleas and walked out of the house. Their home.
It has been a month since he had left her. She was so tired of contemplating herself after he had left. Serena sighed; she never quite knew what went so wrong. But she knew it was not his fault. He had loved her so completely. It was she who had ruined it. Serena Van Der Woodsen-Humphry and her flaws. She hated herself for never being good enough for him. She knew that if she had just tried a bit harder, she could've made it work. She felt so lonely and hopeless, try what she might she'll never be good enough to deserve him. She knew that had she been the perfect wife, his work wouldn't have taken priority over her. But Lord knows she had tried! And she had tried so hard. She had tried hard enough for Blair to notice. But as defeated as she was, she knew that no matter what she does or how hard she tried, it was a long way to go before she can truly be deserving of being called Serena Humphrey.
She switched on the lights and took off her coat. Hanging it on the coat hanger, she walked into her bedroom to change. As if out of habit, her eyes fell on his photograph on the bedside table. She smiled ruefully, he was her true love. With his dimpled smile and dark curly hair, he had always been so beautiful. No matter what anybody said, she knew she truly loved him for the person he was. His determination and his drive. She remembered Chuck warning her for forgiving him too easily for being Gossip Girl. Well, what did Chuck know? He was born with a silver spoon in his mouth and Bass industries at his feet. This man in the photograph had to struggle his way in from Brooklyn to the UES, and well, she couldn't not admire him for that. He was different from all of them, she knew. And that was the reason she had felt so truly in love with him in the first place. Wiping the tears in her eyes, she kept the photograph back and walked out of the bedroom. She could change later. The room felt cold and suffocating without him and she couldn't bear to be there for long. Having nothing better to do, she turned on the television. Randomly switching through channels, something caught her eye.
There he was; Nate Archibald dressed in a starched black suit. The man who had turned down the chance to run for mayor, for reasons unknown. The successful businessman. The man to look out for. The man who had created The Spectator with his own bare hands. The man, who was the only one who hadn't reached out to her when Dan walked out. And that had hurt her. In the last month, Blair had tried to contact her, talk to her, and spend time with her. And as guilty as she felt for it, Serena had tried to avoid her the same way she had ignored Chuck's phone calls and text messages. The last thing she needed right now was sympathy. And that too from the two friends, who had the perfect marriage she had dreamt of all her life. So she avoided them, because she wasn't ready to expose her train wreck of a marriage to the two people who were so naturally good at theirs. But not once had Nate tried to contact her in the last thirty-six days. Of course Nate knew what had happened, everybody did. So the fact that Nate was not the least bit bothered by it had bothered her.
Because Nate had been the constant in her life. The shoulder to rely on. Nate, her best friend, the one who would go to all lengths to seek her out and comfort her had abandoned her this time. Chances are, she would have pushed him away too. The same way she had pushed Blair and Chuck away. But she knew that Nate would have still stuck around. He got her in ways no one did. He understood her, comforted her and made her feel better about herself in spite of all her flaws. So this time, when Nate didn't even try, struck her hard in the chest. Truth was; she missed her best friend. Maybe not as much as she missed Dan. But a lot. She was angry at him for bailing out on her. Her being a wreck and him sorting it out had been their thing since they were five. So why was Nate not here while she told him that she didn't need his help?
Serena switched the channel, too angry to look at him. If that's the way it was so let be it. She needed him right now, so he should have been there. She won't go chasing after him. Besides, she will make Dan come to her. She will change for him. She will prove her love to him. She didn't even need Nate.
Serena woke with a start as her doorbell rang. Panicking, she looked at the clock. It was 10 pm. She must have dozed off while watching the television. She switched it off, smoothed her hair and ran to the door hoping against all hopes that it was Dan. She quickly opened the door to reveal the man she had been thinking about before dozing off. Dressed in a plain white T-shirt and jeans and looking so unlike how he had looked on TV, was Nate Archibald. Nate, on her doorstep, holding a take-out.
"May I come in?"
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