Disclaimer: I obviously do not own this, or Jason Segal and Neil Patrick Harris would be my freaking best friends.
Spoiler Alert: Anything up to the winter finale of season 8 (episodes 11 and 12) could be spoiled.
Rating: K+
Pairings: Barney/Robin
Summary: Barney's perspective on his relationship with Robin leading up to his proposal. "He might have fallen in love with her right then, right when he realizes that she's a better bro than his bros could ever be..."
AN: Here's a quick little oneshot over Barney and Robin's relationship after the wonderful proposal we saw in the winter finale of How I Met Your Mother, season 8. I just adore them. They have such wonderful chemistry. I did not include every little detail of their relationship, but I covered the majority. Enjoy!
The Long Con
Barney plays the long con. His planning begins months, if not years, in advance. He takes into account all possible ends, analyzes every conceivable response. He gets what he wants without people even noticing. Unless he wants them to. He knows if he could spend forever with a person before he even bothers to date them. It's all or nothing. (And, yes. One-night-stands and plays do count as "nothing" in this scenario.) Barney plays the long con, and if you don't fit in the long con, you don't fit in at all.
If they ever have any children to tell "how I met your mother" (which they won't), he'll probably make something up. Even for Barney, telling your kids that the first thing you said about their mom was, "Oh you know she likes it dirty," is a bit much. Every time he thinks about it though, it makes him smile. He sees her as temporary then, a guest star on the "Have You Met Ted" show. As it turns out, the poor shmuck decides to keep her around. Despite what they may think, they won't be able to stay "just friends" forever. Barney plays the long con so he knows they'll crash and burn.
She stays in the circle of friends after the breakup, which Barney knew was a possibility but hadn't necessarily predicted beforehand would be the one she'd take. He's not complaining though, because—well she's hot. And apparently a lot more fun that the rest of the group. He might have fallen in love then, right in the moment he realizes that she's a better bro than his bros could ever be. But Barney plays the long con, and the timing isn't right.
He isn't jealous. Not at all. Idiots get jealous, and he's no Schmoseby. He's Barney, and he's legendary. But every time he sees them together (whether "them" is "her and Ted" or "her and that idiot at the bar"), something inside him goes hot and empty. He hasn't felt this way in a long, long time. He knows he's gone then, totally and irreversibly. That bus hits him and he doesn't see childhood memories or his playbook or his friends. He just sees her, and how completely melodramatic is that? He knows the timing is wrong—so completely wrong. Neither of them is ready for the other, but love can make even the most devious of men throw caution to the wind. Barney plays the long con, so maybe he can turn it around.
Of course he's right. He's been doing this for far too long. They crash and burn just like she and Ted crashed and burned. But now he has Nora, and she has Kevin. And everything is perfect except it's not. He really likes Nora. Nora could be the long con if someone else hadn't already stolen his show. Letting Nora go in favor of the alternative is easier than it should be, but the feeling is not reciprocated. Barney ends up picking up rose petals and trying to tell himself that they don't feel like the shattered pieces of his heart. It's a pathetic thought, so completely out of character. Classic Schmoseby. Barney plays the long con, and for once he might give it up.
Quinn is better for him, more what he deserves. She really reminds him of himself, and (unlike the con before her) it's not just the good parts he sees reflected back. He sees the mangled and disheveled pieces. And maybe that's why he loves her, maybe that's what he really needs. But he sure as hell doesn't trust her, and that's probably good since she sure as hell doesn't trust him either. That's what kills it. And he realizes the truth then. The deep, dark secret. The woman that started out as his best friend's pipedream—well she just might be the only person in the world that Barney could spend forever with. Which bites because she's still with Nick. Barney thanks God though, if he even listens anymore, that those relationship goggles of hers are so close to their expiration date. Because Nick? Nick is an idiot. Literally. And that'll be a deal breaker. Barney plays the long con, and this one never really ended, did it?
He has a plan now, a solid plan. Before, he was working with vague situations, but now he has secure goals. Now he has a list. Step one is probably the hardest, because he has to open up his chest and bare his heart to everyone within hearing range. The rest is small potatoes. This is what he's good at. He makes a move in the wrong place, puts up a false wall, lures in Patrice, and a part of him is anxious. But another part is so glad because it's all going his way. Maybe it's wrong to manipulate her like this. But he's Barney, and this is a part of his heart, and if he can't pour all of that out to her then really? What's the point? Barney plays the long con, and it's finally paying off.
She rambles on about how mad she is and how he's finally given her reason to slam that door in his face. But all the while she has that spark in her eye. That spark that tells him she loves him—idiot that he is—and he wonders how he missed it all those times before. He tells her to turn that paper over (the final play he'll ever need), and he's down on one knee so fast he even shocks himself. Somehow, even though he planned everything out just so, she still surprises him by saying yes. Barney plays the long con, and her answer says it all.
And he knows his feet are going to freeze on the wedding day. But if he can just make it to that alter, if he can just make it to that moment—that one moment—where she's walking down the aisle toward him. Not toward Ted or Don or Kevin or Nick or Male-Gayle, toward him. He has no idea what dress she'll pick, but god she'll be beautiful no matter what, won't she? She'll look at him with those eyes that change nothing and everything in him all at once. Something's bound to go wrong of course. After all the sins in his past, it's the least he can pay the Fates for giving him this. But if he can just make it there, to something he'll spend the rest of his life earning, to something he never thought he'd want, to Robin, —well, it'll be legen—wait for it…
Barney's glad he plays the long con, because that's what got him here.