Yay! My first story! Well, actually there's a reason that I'm writing stuff now. I really, really want to beta for 'Love is the slowest form of suicide' by sasunarugirl88. (It ended up being kinda pointless since I'm beta-ing now anyway… but anywho, read it! "tis tres awesomeness. ^^) (I ended up re-uploading it because the line breaks didn't show up the first time, bt otherwise it's the same :)

I can't believe it… I can't believe I actually did it. After all this time, I finally dumped him.

It's not that I don't love him; no, that's not it at all. I was just so tired… tired of being haunted by the ghost of the man that ruined my life. Yuki Kitazawa. From the moment I met him, Shuichi had always reminded me of him. Of course, being me, I didn't realize it until he screamed it at me, tears slipping down his flushed cheeks. But once he said it, something clicked. The reason that a force almost like gravity drew me towards him, kept pulling me back every time I tried to run away.

Now, it's too late. Even if I wanted him back, the damage is already done. I cut him too deeply. I know I should have denied what he was shouting at me, but at the time I was in such a state of shock that I simply wasn't thinking. That much is obvious; had I stopped for even a second to consider what the effects of my cold honesty would be, I'd have realized that I was throwing away one of the only good things that had ever happened to me.

This is all my fault, anyway. Perhaps if I hadn't been so awful to him all the time, it wouldn't have come to this. All I had to do was humor him with the occasional smile, kind word, and maybe an "I love you" every now and then. But I didn't; I chose pride over honesty, and now he's gone.

I know better than to try to live without him. It would be like Yuki Kitazawa all over again. Having to live with the knowledge that I threw everything away twice would be too much. That's why I'm ending it tonight; a bottle of Ibuprofen and a glass of water will be my only company as I drift off to sleep for the last time. This time, he won't be next to me. That thought is all I need to assure myself that this is the right thing to do. I tip over the bottle and watch the pills rain down into my open palm. Then, it's bottoms up.

His eyes, sparkling as he smiles warmly at me… his hair, rustled by a cool breeze… his lips, parting as they meet mine… his hands, roaming across my body… his voice, whispering my name…

As my vision begins to ebb, I focus on his face, re-memorizing it one more time. I want it to be the last thing I ever see.

I'm sorry, Shu… I know you can do better than me. Be happy. That's all I ask. Be… happy….

Okay, plot summary: This is supposed to be happening right after the part in volume 12 when Shu-chan yells at Yuki for making him a stand-in for Kitazawa. Yuki flips, dumps Shu-chan, and then decides to kill himself… so, yeah. XD

Please review! I'd love a few tips on how I can improve it and some such, or just what you think of it! ^^