Warning; Plot holes the size of craters. This is not a serious fanfiction. It's literally just to make people with my sense of humor giggle.
Had Batman and Robin forgiven each other? No.
Did they still care? Alfred would tell you yes, but would they?
Whatever the condition of the former dynamic duo's relationship all aggressions have been laid aside for this truce.
They weren't fighting a criminal mastermind, though they'd both rather that be the case. However that isn't the case.
What's happening?
Starfire is only ten weeks pregnant, but Tameranian pregnancies are much more volatile than human ones. With bouts of morning sickness keeping her on the couch the others were in charge of her care.
Robin, being the father of the child must suffer the most through her harsh pregnancy.
Why in the world would Batman tag along for this wild ride?
We know what Alfred would say.
"Robin!" Starfire yelled with all the rage of a bull seeing red. "This is not the movie I asked for! This is Breakheart three! I asked for the Breakheart four!"
"Ah heh. Right." Robin rubbed the back of his neck. "Why don't I return it...then?"
Starfire blinked in an innocent and spacey way. "Oh do not worry friend-I mean..." She smiled giddily. "Boyfriend Robin. I like this movie very much. I do not mind watching it again."
"Okay..." Robin said warily. "Then...can I get you anything?"
Starfire waved him off half heartedly. "It is okay Robin. I mearly require the resting time."
"Alright...call if you need me."
"Actually. I am a little hungry. Would you get me something to eat?"
"Uh...sure. Any idea-."
"Pancakes with extra mustard, chili waffles, boiled asparagus, the minced meat pie, and a cheese burger, please?"
Robin did his best not to groan. Honestly that wasn't far from the way she usually ate. It's just that, prior to her pregnancy, he hadn't had to prepare her odd food concoctions. "Sure. I can handle that!" He said with forced cheer.
He entered the kitchen with slumped shoulders and huffed. He grabbed the already good splattered and mildly charred apron from its hook. It'd seen better days, but it wouldn't anytime soon. Robin didn't feel like he would either.
He pulled the mustard and asparagus from the fridge. When he shut the door Batman was sitting on the counter beside him.
He did a double take, but managed not to jump.
"Hey." He said tiredly.
Batman's mask was off. He held it and a tread and needle. Stitching up the side after some kind of accident. "More food?" He asked knowingly.
Robin nodded meakly and groaned. "Pancakes with extra mustard, chili waffles, boiled asparagus, mince meat pie, and a hamburger."
"Cheese burger." Batman corrected.
Robin groaned again. "Right."
He filled a pot with water and set it on the stove. He placed the asparagus next to it, pulled a box of pancake mix from the cabinet and set about finding every ingredient of the back of the box.
When he reached for a mixing bowl off the top shelf (Yet another reminder that Cyborg was the chef in this tower) that was a bit too high Batman took it down without comment.
"Mh. Thanks." Robin mumbled continuing to prepare everything Starfire'd asked for.
He now had two skillets and a large pot of water on the stove. The pancake batter was made and he was about to start frying both it and the hamburger.
"Is this a good idea?" Batman asked taking one of the two spatulas from him.
Robin sighed. "No," He took the spatula back, "but it works."
Much to Batman's chagrin Robin was imitating Ravens pancake making style. "Carbon on the outside, molten lava on the inside." Robin commented. "It's how she likes them."
Like most people, Batman had nothing to say to that.
After making a substantial stack of the bubbling primordial pancakes, it was time to flip the burger for the second time and put the asparagus into the water.
Robin was clearly exhausted, but continued cooking almost roboticly for the hungry girl- no he reminded himself. Hungry girlfriend and baby on the couch.
Suddenly Batman chuckled breaking Robins train of thought.
"Hmm?"
"I just found the smoke detector."
"Oh good. See if it-."
Batman held up and dropped on the counter a few bits of white plastic and tangled wires."
Robin frowned. "Well it did better than the remote."
Receiving only a raised eyebrow as a response Robin scoffed.
"I'm not kidding. We're still finding buttons all over the tower. There was even one-."
Smoke plumed from under the blackening disk that had once been a hamburger patty. Robin quickly scooped it into the air and onto a bun then drizzling it with an entire can of spray cheese.
"That's not what people normally do." Batman commented in reference to the spray cheese."
"It's the only kind of cheese that doesn't give her morning sickness." On further examination of the can he amended. "Probably because it isn't cheese..." He shrugged and moved on to straining the asparagus. Finally he with a plate in each hand, one on his elbow and a mustard bottle in his mouth he shoulderd the kitchen door open to bring Starfire her "light" snack.
He found her upright and stretching. The mustard bottle found its way to the floor.
"Easy..." He said in such a way that if he were not holding so many things you get the sense he'd have his hands up in a pacifying manor. "Just take it easy."
Before Starfire could say anything she was forced backwards sharply. The wall she'd slammed into crumbled around her.
Rather than react as one should to this occurrence she became giddy instantaneously. "Oh Robin! The baby is kicking!" She told him excitedly.
Batman rushed from the kitchen mask now in place. "What was that?"
Robin set down Starfire's snack on the end of the couch and went to her side.
With a fond expression he placed a hand onto her stomach and was almost instantly thrown to Batman's feet.
"Baby's kicking." He said hazily.
I don't really have a knack for Brucies sarcasm. I guess everyone was OOC :(. I do have an excuse for Star though. If you haven't guessed she's got some serious mood swings. I feel a teeny but sexist (despite being a chick myself) for they way prego Star is. But I've decided I can live with that...mostly.
The biggest plot holes that my poor brain cannot seem to work through is where are the other Titans, why is Batman in jump city, and what is Starfire and Robins complete baby back story. Lol I won't be butthurt if this is flamed. It could use the ass kicking.
Note: Robin wasn't done cooking. He was just bringing her like a first courseish type way. I had no idea chili waffles existed. I may ave made them up, but honestly they don't sound like an aweful idea. Waffles are pretty plain. Chili wouldn't really even be gross on then, would it.