Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or the characters therein, nor am I making any money whatsoever for writing this little fiction. This story is AU, mainly because there are no HBP spoilers and I didn't want to bother with the whole 'evidence was found' thing. We all know that Severus did it on command, or he's just a seriously sexy evil bastard who was tired of the old man's meddling. -shifty eyes- ANYWAY! So enjoy! Read and Review please. -holds tin cup out that has 'reviews' written in black sharpie on the side-
Hermione sat on the couch of her small flat, twirling her wand between her fingers, waiting. Soft curls were braided away from her worried face and her eyes were glazed with thought.
The tea she had set out hours before was cold in the flowered, antique porcelain china and the thin pillar candle was half the size it was before. The French doors to her side that led to the balcony were open, the rain hitting the black iron railing with musical pings. A small puddle was forming on the tiles, saturating the cracks and rivets in the stone.
He always came over when it rained.
For some reason or another, it depressed him more than he already was and he couldn't stand to be alone. He always came to her for comfort. He knew he would always be welcome in her arms. He also knew that he would never take advantage of her youth and inexperience. He did not entertain the idea or even slight hope that she might truly love him and she didn't just hold him out of sympathy. He came only to feel better, seeking to bury the loneliness he felt if only for one night.
After the war, he had been broken far beyond repair in both body and spirit. The grief of all that he had had to do for so many years washed over him the second he realized he was free from worshiping the megalomaniac forever. No longer would he be a slave that had to bow and kiss the man's feet with the unending fear that he would find out where his loyalties truly lied.
But instead of rejoicing like the rest of the war heroes and the wizarding world, he fell into an emotional coma, lost within his mind and unable to forgive himself.
Gradually, he disappeared from the wizarding world. He was never a welcome part of it anyway, being hated and feared by the children he had once taught. Hermione, however, searched for him for years. It had started out as a minor crush when she was in school, then blossomed into something more when they fought side by side at the final battle. She healed his body when she found him on the ground and stayed by his side, talking quietly about things that she thought would interest him. She read books and shared her ideas for potions, though he never really responded. Then one day, he was gone and she was left alone. After a few years, she finally gave up and returned to her flat in London, sad and disappointed.
Then one rainy night, the first of many, she heard a knock on her door. When she opened it, the dark man she had longed for was standing in front of her, timidly waiting to be invited in. He never looked at her. Shame of his past sins had reduced him to a quarter of what he had been before, and had steadily worsened in the years of his absence.
He never said much in his visits, staring at the rain while Hermione held him close.
Sometimes she would see tears fall down his face and he would cling tighter to her body as if she were the only thing keeping him in this world. In a way she was. She was what kept him sane.
Hermione leaned forward and blew the candle out, setting her wand on the table next to it as the tendrils of smoke rose and curled towards the ceiling. She stood, unable to keep the nearly unbearable worry from her heart.
Where is he?
She made her way to the balcony, gripping the rail so tightly that her knuckles were white. Raindrops slid down her face and soaked her to the bone quickly. Fearful tears began to fall, mixing with the downpour.
Is he hurt? What happened to him? Why isn't he here yet? He's always here by now. Should I go look for him? I hope he's okay…
Thoughts rushed a mile a minute in her head, making her dread each passing second.
Her heart pounding, she sunk slowly to the floor and finally gave in to her emotions. Her body shook uncontrollably from the sobs and the coldness of the air around her. She gasped for air, covering her eyes, her body tensed up.
Maybe he doesn't need you anymore. Maybe he decided that you are too young for him. You should have known that you would never have a chance with him. He's too far gone. But you still let him come in and be close to you. You should have known better you stupid, stupid girl.
She heard a quiet knock on the door and her head shot up, hope filling her entire being. She bolted for the door, not caring a bit that she was dripping all over the floor.
She flung open the door and breathed a sigh of relief before launching herself into his arms.
He tensed at first, but then put his arms around her gently, resting his head on top of hers shyly as if he had never been hugged before.
"Where were you? I was worried." She whispered almost harshly.
The man remained silent for a moment.
"Are you going to invite me in, Hermione?" His voice was barely audible and hoarse, having received damage to his vocal cords by a runaway hex.
Without letting go, she pulled him in and kicked the door shut behind her.
"Are you okay?" she asked, finally pulling away, but only enough to look at his face.
He blinked and gave a single nod.
"I got hung up." Was all he said. He removed his overcoat and hung it up in the closet, proceeding to take his shoes off. When he was done he looked at her, observing her with still-sharp eyes.
"Were you out in the rain?" He asked distantly, already knowing the answer. She nodded briefly.
He sighed and pulled her to her bedroom.
Feelings for him that she could never satisfy rose up in her and she quickly pushed them away. He didn't have feelings like that for her and he never would. He opened her wardrobe and pulled out some pajamas. Setting them on the bed, he turned towards her again and gestured for her to undress.
Hermione quickly obeyed as he turned around to give her some privacy.
The woman paused for a moment, the cool air that came through the window chilling her naked skin. She reached her hand towards his shoulder, hesitating momentarily, and placed it softly on him.
"Severus…" She whispered, urging him to turn.
He blinked and turned his head slightly, so he could only glimpse her out the corner of his eye. She could see a light blush creep into his cheeks as he saw bare shoulders and he turned his head away as if he'd been slapped.
"Yes?"
"Look at me."
"No."
"Look at me."
"…No."
"I'm not a child Severus; now look at me before I hex you." It was his turn to hesitate.
Slowly, he turned his head towards her, avoiding her eyes and the rest of her. She touched his chin. For the first time since after the war, he looked into her eyes. She saw pain and shame there. She saw loneliness, restlessness and sadness. But deep within those black orbs was something else. She saw love and hope shine in them.
She took is hand and placed it between her breasts where her heart was beating. Severus tried to take his hand back, but she held fast.
"Why do you always come to me Severus?"
Severus was quiet, his face thoughtful as he stared at her hand over his. She could see him try to control himself so that he looked at nothing else.
"I don't know."
Hermione closed her eyes and nodded, letting go of his hand. She reached over and grabbed her pajamas, slipping them on. Severus quickly removed his hand and withdrew into himself once more as he always did. She moved past him into the living room and sat down, staring at the floor. She felt him sit down next to her, more tense than usual.
"You are full of questions tonight." He said.
Hermione remained silent, not looking at him. The rain had stopped, small rivers running down the clear windows in streams.
"Blame it on the rain."
"I always do.
oO0Oo
Hermione scanned over her notes, a cup of tea in front of her and her cat Lucy on her lap. She blinked and crossed a sentence out, taking a small sip from the rim of the cup before setting them aside and stretching. She had so much work to do it was ridiculous. She was currently researching the most powerful healing potion known to the wizarding world. Unfortunately, the ingredients were extremely rare. She blinked at the ceiling and sighed.
Lucy mewed in protest and hopped off, her tail twitching indignantly as she sauntered off into the kitchen.
She stood up and wandered to the window, staring at the clear sky. It hadn't rained in a month. Her heart ached to see him, but she didn't know where he lived. She turned away and slipped her sandals on, grabbing her key to the mailbox downstairs. She had been waiting for a letter from the Potions sector of the Ministry with more information on the healing potion.
Hermione opened the door and her eyes widened.
Severus stood before her, looking her straight in the eye. It seemed to take him quite a bit of effort to do so. Hermione stepped to the side and smiled, confused.
"But there's no rain…"
Severus reached behind her and closed the door, cupping her cheek in his hand as he did so. He leaned forward and touched his lips to hers gently. She could taste his hesitation and fear in that small kiss.
He pulled away from her and studied her face, looking for any amount of displeasure at his action, but found nothing. Satisfied, the corner of his lips turned upward a little in the first smile she had ever seen on his face since she had known him.
"No, there's no rain."
A/n: I hoped you liked that. I wrote it a while ago when I was without the blessed internet. Though Severus may seem OOC, I assure you that even the most despicable of people change durastically when they break emotionally and mentally. . So, please review! Tell me what you think! PLEASE!