Author's note:This is my attempt at re-writing Mockingjay, with the plot and character development that I wished I would have read! More importantly, a story ending that I wanted my children to read. A tale of courage in the face of evil, of strength in midst of agony, and of hope in the frailty of human flesh. Of course, this story is most definitely not owned by me and I give all praise and high honor to Suzanne Collins who is the author and owner of these characters. And, I thank her for bringing writing assignments back into my daily routine of life.

Disclaimer: I, again, do not own The Hunger Games, Catching Fire, or Mockingjay. That priveledge belongs to Suzanne Collins.

Part I. Darkness

Chapter 1

I'm swimming in darkness. This darkness that seems to be all around me. It's not measured in time. Minutes, hours, days.. They mean nothing here. Time is motionless. And, although you would think it would bring peace, it does not. Only loneliness. Emptiness. A heaviness that sinks me to the farthest depths of this ocean of darkness. And, my only thoughts are those of wishing this ocean would carry me off somewhere. Anywhere but here. Where the black engulfs me.

There are moments when I feel the pull of something. A voice, maybe? But, the heaviness is too much. I can't seem to will it to go away. I try to reach toward it, but I just don't have the strength. Or, maybe I just don't have the will to care anymore. And the darkness beckons to me once more.

"Katniss!" The voice is whispering to me. I know that voice...

But, even before the heaviness starts to lift, I sense something different. A smell.

It comes to me swiftly. A smell of spring. The blossoms opening for the first time after the long winter. The damp woods after a morning shower. The rich smell of brown earth, not unlike that of the decaying leaves on the forest floor. A smell of home.

Home. How wonderful it would be to go back home, to the woods. The meadow.

My darkness is lightening. Now, a new sense comes to me. I can feel my arms, my legs. They are so heavy. It feels like I have a thousand pounds of sand poured on top of them. But, oh... that smell. If only I could get this weight off me! I am trying now, trying to swim up out of this hole. I'm almost there, I can feel my eyelids trying to pry themselves open.

"Katniss," the voice whispers to me, "You're safe. I'm right here. Just try to wake up for us, okay?"

"Hmpffff..." I groan. I'm trying, can't they tell? It's just that I'm so tired. Why can't they take the weight off me? That would surely help. Maybe they can't. Maybe I'm weighted down on purpose. That must be it. I must've gone mad, and they've weighted me down so that I can't hurt anyone else.

Hurt. Murder. Yes, that's it. I remember now. District 12 is no more. It's been reduced to a pile of ashes. My fault. In my feeble attempt to save people, I've done nothing but kill more of them. The Capitol has won. People hate me. They blame me for the taking of so many innocent lives.

"No!" I manage to squeak out.

Why is my voice so scratchy sounding? Was that even my voice? Please, just leave me alone. Let me retreat to the darkness. At least it was quiet there. Devoid of any voices, smells, sounds. No memories can reach me there in that dark pit. I need to go back there. That's where I'm safe.

"Katniss!" It's more forceful now. That voice. I know that voice...

Against my best judgement, I feel myself swimming upwards again. This time it comes a little easier. I think I'm almost to the surface, breaking through that sea of dark... Yes, there is the light. I can sense it. I'm almost there.

My eyelids start to flutter. It's too bright. My eyes have been in darkness for too long, and it hurts when I try to embrace the light. But, before I can worry about my eyes adjusting, there is another sense to deal with. Something rough, like gravel, is rubbing against my cheek. It's wet. And, even in the state my senses are in, it's impossible not to recognize the stench of that breath.

"Buttercup" I say weakly. The cat that seems to defy me at every chance. I can just imagine he has a big grin spread across that ugly, scrunched up face of his. I hear soft laughter now to the right of me. That laughter can only belong to one person. Prim.

My eyelids flash open and for a brief second I see only the face of everything left that is good in this world. My little sister Prim. And a feeling of joy and happiness rises up in my chest. A feeling that has been unreachable for me for so long.

"Hey sleepyhead," Prim says with a touch of concern in her voice. I can immediately sense that she has been worried about me.

"Hey, Catnip" I hear a deep voice whisper from behind her. His voice sounds so soft, like the rustle of leaves in the spring breeze. And my heart lightens a little more. Gale. My dear friend Gale is here. Of course he is. He's probably been here the whole time I've been swimming in my darkness. And I instantly feel guilt.

The tears start streaming out of my eyes before I even have time to realize they've betrayed me. They make my eyes sting, but the tears don't stop. If anything, they've picked up in intensity and my whole body is starting to shake now. I need to try and get myself together before I entirely lose it. But, the harder I try, the more I can't control it. I'm openly sobbing now, my feelings are rushing back to me with such force that I can't seem to catch my breath. My lungs are heaving to get more air, but my nose is running so fierce now that I can't get any air through it. And, unfortunately, I hear myself let out a big snort as my throat catches on the snot that has now managed to block any passage of air into my body.

"Katniss, it's okay," Prim says, cradling me into her arms and giving me warm kisses on top of my head. Just like how I used to do for her when she was scared. "You're okay. We love you. You are safe. It's going to be all right." I want to believe her. My brain is telling me to just believe that everything is going to be okay. But, my heart tells me that nothing is going to be the same anymore.