Your name is Dirk Strider. You are fifteen years old and your bro just went out.
Your bro does that a lot. He has shit to do and places to be. You don't mind having the place to yourself – you're used to it. You guess it's kind of cool having another human to strife every now and then, but you aren't fussed. It's not like you're going to flip your shit because he leaves you on your own a couple of days.
I mean look at that, he's even gone and left a note on the fridge. Look at that stellar sibling-parenting.
sup
im not going to be back for a while so youd better not break any of my shit while im gone or screw up the apartment too bad
actually fuck that do what you like with the place what do i care
im not coming back bro
im going out and im not ever coming back
today im going to die and i know you arent going to believe that but im totes for realz right now i am capital d dead
ill do my best to make sure they dont find the body and send you to some crappy foster home i mean come on your fifteen you know how to handle yourself by now for fucks sake
i cant really explain whats going on but theres some major shit going down and you need to talk to twin armageddons
not to sound like a total bitch but this is important you have to do this bro
dont screw up
Welp.
You don't so much as blink as you read the note, just in case there's a hidden camera somewhere. Your bro might not be around much, but you've caught the wrong end of his pranks before, and you figure this is just another one.
After all, it's not unusual for him to stay out for a night. Or two. Or three. Or a week.
On the tenth day, you break down and text him, and immediately regret it. Now he'll know he got to you. He's probably just gone on an unscheduled trip to California and forgotten to call you. He's always called before, but the dude has a lot of irons in the fire…
A day later, he still hasn't answered. You try Pesterchum this time, but he isn't online. Well, he's always losing computers, it's not that unusual.
tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT]
TG: hey dsirti
TG: *distri
TG: you konw whats weeeeeeeidr
TG: *
TG: i havent sene my mom in liek
TG: tow weeks
TG: *22 weesk
TG: *2 wekes
TG: distri
TG: drik
TG: dirk
TG: u there?
Your bro isn't dead. That much is obvious. Dudes that cool don't just write some note and walk out the door and die. It's impossible.
He definitely wouldn't… do something… well. Uncool.
But either he's forgotten he set this prank up or he's expecting you to follow through with his demand in spite of the sheer ridiculousness of his premise.
You suppose you had better track down this twinArmageddons person so they can tell you that your bro is not really dead.
You open Pesterchum. A user search brings up one name, but there's something strange about it. It takes you a moment to place what it is.
The profile is blank. And not normal, can't be bothered to fill it in, left as deafault blank. There are no comments, no friends, no nothing.
Not even a time of last log in.
It's almost guaranteed to just be a glitch, and absolutely not a reason for all the hairs on your neck to rise up or for your finger to shake at all as you click the link (shouldn't that not appear until you've sent a friend request? Just another glitch…) labelled 'pester.'
timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering twinArmageddons [TA]
TA: what the fuck is the pr0blem this time lalonde?
What.