Hey all! Yes, I know, too many stories being written at one time is bad, but I couldn't help it! This one was begging to be written and here I am. Sorry, I'll try to be good on updates with all my stories. Hope you like this one!
Warning: Some OOCness on Aoshi's part. Also, this is alternate pairing in flashbacks. In the first few chapters, there will be tons of flashbacks, so if those bother you, sorry. Just a fair warning.
Love Lost
Chapter 1
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When the news reached Misao, she didn't feel anything, she was numb. It wasn't real. It couldn't be real. Life was great. She had been happily married for three years and she had just learned she was pregnant with her first child. Life couldn't get any better. But it certainly could get worse, and it did.
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She stood watching the flames on her husband's funeral pyre leap higher and higher, no emotion showing on her pale face. Aoshi watched her with a concerned eye. They had become best friends and he was worried about the lack of emotion coming from her.
He looked down at her stomach and back up at her face. Life was going to be hard on her now. A young widowed woman, early into her first pregnancy and going through it alone. Sure, she had the Aoiya's occupants to help her, but it wouldn't be the same as the child's father. He stepped up next to her and she looked up at him, still devoid of any emotion. He offered her a tiny, sad smile and she felt her lips tremble. For the first time since she heard the dreadful news, she cried. Aoshi gave her a brotherly hug and she finally let her emotions go. She leaned back into his chest as she watched the fire dance and jump around her husband's body.
She whispered hoarsely and quietly, but Aoshi heard her. "No use praying it's a dream now. He's really gone."
Okina put a hand softly on her abdomen. "No, Misao-chan. He's not gone."
Misao smiled a trembling smile and began to cry harder than before. She began to think back to when she first met Soujiro.
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Seventeen year old Misao stood outside in the Aoiya's uniform, sweeping the entrance to the restaurant. She heard someone approaching and looked up with her bright, customer service smile firmly in place.
"Welcome to the Aoiya!"
She expected the customer to pass by on his way into the restaurant but he asked her a question instead. "Pardon me, but I was wondering, is this just a restaurant or an inn as well?"
Misao shook her head slightly. "We're just a restaurant, but down the road is a very nice inn that we usually recommend to travel-" She stopped abruptly as she opened her eyes for the first time and noticed who she was speaking to. She gripped the broom in a defensive position and glared at the young man before her. "What do you want?"
Soujiro's eyes opened in surprise and his famous smile slipped from his features. Realization hit him and his eyes widened. "Oh, you're the woman who was with Battousai when we fought in Shengatsu village. I can understand your apprehension, but have no worries. I'm not here to harm anyone." He smiled brightly again and pointed to his waist. "See? No swords!"
Misao let the broom down a bit, but still looked skeptical. "Why are you here?"
"I've been wandering, trying to find my truth." The smile slipped again and he looked thoughtful. "This was the way Himura found his and Shishio found his, so I'm trying to find mine now. While I haven't embraced Himura's no kill vow, I have decided not to kill until things become clear to me. So, you don't have to worry, since I still haven't figured everything out." He smiled once again and Misao put the broom down fully.
"I don't sense any insincerity from you, so I'll believe it. But I will have you know that Aoshi-sama is still with us, so don't try anything." Misao led him into the Aoiya and told her family his story so they wouldn't attack him. She put him in a booth and bowed slightly. "Omasu will be your waitress. Please enjoy your meal."
Soujiro let out a small chuckle. She amuses me. I'd like to get to know her on friendlier terms.
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Misao snapped out of it when Aoshi gently shook her shoulder. "Misao, it's over."
Misao focused in front of her to see that the fire had mostly died down and was now sputtering around the pile of ashes. She let out a wail, the reality slamming into her all too suddenly. Aoshi caught her as her legs gave out and she began crying again. "We were happy! We had everything! He was with me just one week ago! He can't be gone!" Aoshi picked her up to carry her home while she cried into his chest.
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Misao picked at the food, her tears making the food seem to waver and blur. "I'm not hungry. I think I'll go to bed." She bid everyone goodnight and made her way to her room.
She laid down on her futon and began to think about Soujiro again. She knew her family didn't mean anything by it, but they made the same thing for dinner that they had the first night Soujiro stayed with them. She smiled at her thoughts. "Heck, they probably don't remember what we had. I'd be the only one sentimental enough to remember something that trivial."
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Misao looked at Soujiro as he was walking out of the Aoiya. He seems really nice. And almost – sad. Before she knew what she was doing, Misao had a hand on his arm stopping him. "Wait!"
Soujiro turned to look at her, surprise clear on his features. "Yes?"
Misao swallowed hard, wondering what in the world she was thinking. "Would you like to stay here for a while?"
Soujiro looked at her strangely. "Do you think that's a good idea?"
Misao let out a smile. "Actually, I kind of do. Himura told me once, he wasn't really stable or sure about life, until he met Kaoru and made friends with the people he knows now. I was thinking the same may be true about you. You don't have to stay if you don't want to, but you're welcome to do so."
Soujiro let out a slow, real smile. "I'd love to stay. Thank you."
Everyone kept a wary eye on him as they had dinner that night. He hadn't seemed dangerous to any of them yet, but he had been Shishio's right hand man. Misao sat next to him, trying to make friendly conversation with him. He's actually quite handsome. And when he smiles a real smile and not a fake one, he's even more handsome.
Misao began to clear the table once dinner was over and Soujiro started to help. "Here, let me help you. You're being nice enough to let me stay so it's the least I can do."
Misao nodded and then blushed bright red as their hands brushed as they reached for the same bowl. "Sorry."
She looked up and noticed Soujiro sporting a slight blush as well. "Sorry."
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Misao smiled at the memories. "It really was a good idea." She rolled over and was met with the sight of her husband's empty side of the futon. She ran her hand over the fabric and frowned.
She got up and made her way over to their closet and pulled out one of his old gi and held it up to her nose. "It still smells like him." She laid down and cuddled up to the fabric. She closed her eyes and tried to imagine him there, smiling at her as she fell asleep.
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A/N: Yeah, this one's gonna be angsty! But, don't worry. Once you hit rock bottom, there's no where to go but up. And I'd say poor Misao is at rock bottom. This is my first angst fic, so reviews would be hugely appreciated! Hugs & Kisses!