The Back of My Mind

By : Shawnathan

[A/N : This is my first time ever attempting anything remotely like this, so if your feedback is negative, please keep it constructive. Many thanks~ ]

[Disclaimer : I own nothing. All credit to Disney/Square Enix]

The library was always quiet. Quiet enough for one to concentrate on their work, and study in peace; that was what Zexion adored about the place. It was only his second year in college, but already he had tired of people's endless pranks, incessant partying, willful destruction of their own livers... and he had tried so hard to pick a school whose reputation was sound.

Apparently, Twilight University was an academic haven on the surface, but had a deeply ingrained party culture, with many who supported it. The library was only inhabited by the truly resolute students, the ones determined to maintain a high GPA. Zexion closed his laptop, and gathered up the various books strewn about the table, ready to leave when he was approached by a young man with the most obtuse hair he had ever seen in his life.

"Hey there! How's it g-"

The boy was abruptly shushed by the head librarian, causing him to flinch a little. He clasped his hands together, giving her an apologetic look. He turned back to Zexion, his face still lit up with a genuine sort of happiness that Zexion wasn't used to.

"Erm... nice to meet you..." He trailed off, realizing the boy had never finished what he was saying, or introduced himself. Zexion was nothing if not polite.

"Same here! My name's Demyx." Demyx seemed to almost radiate good vibes, a relaxing aura that Zexion had never felt.

"My name's Zexion, pleased to make your acquaintance." He offered his hand, which Demyx accepted and shook excitedly. Zexion tried to maintain eye contact, but found his eyes drifting up to Demyx's hair yet again. It was an odd cross between a mohawk and a mullet, but it seemed to suit him well enough... unique if nothing else. Demyx seemed to notice his eyes move up, and giggled. Zexion dropped his gaze, embarrassed, but when he looked up Demyx simply stared back, smiling. His eyes were a bright teal, very alluring and deep, like the ocean.

"Everyone seems to think it's a bit weird, but I like it." Demyx whispered. He crossed his legs, reaching into the bag he had slung over his slender shoulder. He pulled out a flyer, which would have normally made Zexion roll his eyes and sigh, but he wondered what cause this bubbly person could be supporting. There was no way he was trying to raise money for Nigerian goat herders like those kids from last week... nowhere near self-righteous enough.

Zexion took the flyer, eyeballing it with a strange curiosity. It had the name "Wet Sand" splashed across the top in some ornate, trippy font. Several other strange names were listed below, with a name and address for a local pub, one that Zexion had actually attended a few times. The music was always chill, the atmosphere relaxing, and the drinks affordable. He looked back up to Demyx, who was waiting patiently as he read.

"I thought I'd seen you at the pub a few times. I play sitar in Wet Sand." Demyx said, his high cheekbones accentuating his wide smile. "It's only five bucks at the door, if you're interested." Demyx's face was cheerful, but hopeful as he waited for Zexion to answer. Zexion felt himself smiling back a little, something he didn't do with much frequency, but... it was hard to be gloomy around Demyx.

"I suppose so, I don't have any classes tom-" He was cut off as Demyx leaned forward and hugged him tightly, causing his face to go quite red. Demyx immediately pulled back, scratching at the back of his head sheepishly.

"I'm really sorry, that wasn't very... I shouldn't have-"

"It's alright." Was it? Why was that alright? Zexion had to shake the questions out of his head so they didn't distract him from the conversation. Demyx was rocking back in his chair, even balancing it on two legs with some degree of ease, sitting like that for a while without speaking up again, still clearly embarrassed about his actions. To Zexion's surprise, it was he who decided to break the awkward silence. "So why 'Wet Sand', are you a Chili Peppers tribute band or something?" Demyx almost fell backward, catching himself just in time, and burst out laughing, earning another dirty look from the librarian. He calmed his raucous laughter down to a giggle, smiling cheekily again.

"You wouldn't believe how often we get that. The name is just something our drummer and I came up with... we both love the ocean." His mind seemed to drift a bit, the expression on his face so content that Zexion could almost hear seagulls, and waves crashing around them.

Zexion found himself staring, and tried to shake the image of Demyx's serene face from his mind. He stood, Demyx sliding gracefully to his feet next to him. He sighed when he realized that Demyx was almost a head taller than he was... not that he wasn't used to being short at this point, but still.

"I... I need to head back to the dorm, yet another paper to write." Why was he feeling nervous? He shouldn't be feeling this way in this situation... that was his real reason for leaving. Demyx either didn't notice, or didn't mind, simply acknowledging his reason with a nod.

"It's okay, as long as you show up tomorrow night, 'kay?" Demyx said, his eyes squinting up as he smiled another wide smile.

"O-Ok... I'll be there." He was still feeling a little nervous, but more than that, found himself looking forward to seeing this strange person again. "You're really odd, you know that?" He didn't want to offend Demyx, but the words almost seemed obligatory.

"I get that a lot. See you tomorrow night Zexy!" He said cheerfully, waving as he strode off, his every movement graceful.

"Zexy?" Zexion simply gawked for a moment before realizing what he was doing, shaking his head again, and heading back to his dorm, flyer in hand.

Zexion hadn't been able to concentrate on his studies after his chance encounter with Demyx, and even his recreational reading failed to hold his attention. He had taken special care to try and appear stylish, being that he didn't go out often. A black button-up shirt, dark gun-metal gray jeans that were worn in with natural tears and scuffs, and black leather boots seemed like a good choice to him at the time; he felt his decision was sound when he walked into the bar. None of his jewelry or other accessories seemed out of place, and he didn't feel over-dressed. He briefly wondered why he'd taken such care about it, even obsessively combing his slate hair just the way he liked it... it wasn't like he was on a date or anything.

The pub was crowded, but not so much that it was uncomfortable, and he didn't have much trouble finding a seat at the expansive bar. He ordered an Irish coffee, sipping carefully as he listened to the sounds of one of the opening bands. He felt a tap on his left shoulder, and turned to see... no one. He quickly turned around to check his right, and was greeted by a large pair of bright teal eyes.

"Hey Demyx." He had tried to sound casual, but heard the tinge of nerves in his own voice. Demyx seemed oblivious. He couldn't tell if that was an act, or just Demyx being... Demyx.

"It's good to see you again, thanks for coming out!" Demyx's perpetually cheery smile was plastered on his face, his hand reaching out as the bartender handed him a beer. He was wearing deep blue skinny jeans with an excessive number of rips and holes, a battered looking tank top that hung low on his delicate shoulders, sandals, and several hemp necklaces and leather wristbands. He had on a toe ring, and, Zexion had just noticed, several rings in each ear. He was surprised he hadn't noticed that before. It wasn't like him to miss the little details like that.

"Well, I said I would. When does your band go on?" Zexion was relaxing a little, perhaps partly due to the caffeine and alcohol, but it was easier to converse with Demyx, so he was content with that.

"About ten more minutes, after this set. I was worried you wouldn't show, since you missed most of the the opening bands. I'm glad you came." Demyx looked like he always meant every word he said, one of those rare individuals who didn't put up a front. They just... were who they were.

Zexion opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by someone yelling in their direction. A tall redhead was walking toward them, his hair even more off-the-wall than Demyx's, large red spikes sticking out like the bloodied blades of so many swords. It was intimidating, his presence made even more so by the black spikes tattooed under his eyes. When he approached, however, he wrapped an arm around Demyx's shoulders, and put on a relaxed smile. Demyx gestured to Zexion before speaking.

"Zexion, this is our singer and guitarist Axel. Axel, this is Zexion." Axel had promptly shoved his hand forward, shaking Zexion's with almost too much enthusiasm. Clad mostly in black, the only color to be found on Axel, aside from his hair, was a red heart that became a skull on his tight t-shirt. Axel leaned in close to speak over the music as the last opening band was finishing up their final song.

"That's A-X-E-L. Got it memorized?" He pointed to his head, seeming proud of himself as he stated that simple bit of information. Zexion just smiled back, nodding. Axel turned to Demyx again, his face a little serious, if only for half a second. "Time for sound check. Let's do this." Demyx nodded, his face bright and eager. He turned to Zexion, their hands brushing against one another on the bar. Zexion shivered a little, blushing a bit (why was he doing that again?), but maintained eye contact at least. Demyx was blushing too, but didn't hesitate as he spoke up.

"I have to go get ready Zexy, wish me luck!" Demyx was as docile as ever when he walked to the stage and began setting up gear, but his face also showed a deep-seated determination. Zexion tried not to stare, not to study him as they set their equipment up and began sound check, but his eyes betrayed him. At one point Demyx looked over at him, and he was awestruck. His mind blank, he simply mouthed "good luck". Demyx beamed, drawing his fingers across the strings of his sitar as Wet Sand began their first song.

It was pretty chillaxed music, but with a subtle rock edge that reared it's head when Axel would step back from the mic for a guitar solo. Zexion nodded along happily, actually cheering audibly with the crowd when Demyx broke into a fast-paced and intricate solo of his own. When they had finished, crowd opinion seemed favorable, people bursting into boisterous applause. Zexion was legitimately impressed by the show, and was clapping wildly, his eyes fixed on the band... or were they fixed on Demyx? Demyx's eyes found his again, seeking approval. Zexion flashed a thumbs-up, and continued clapping, getting another big smile from the spiky blonde. After all of their gear was packed away, and the crowds had died down, Demyx walked his way, pausing to wipe a light sheen of sweat from his brow with a towel he had draped over one shoulder.

"So, what'd you think?" He seemed utterly content, like he'd just won a million dollars. Perhaps that was just more of Demyx being himself.

"You were great. I'm honestly happy I decided to come out..." He had ordered a few more drinks during their set, and was a little buzzed, but not flat-out drunk. He felt as though there were more to say, but his eyes were exploring the statuesque curves of Demyx's body. He looked away as Demyx seemed to figure out what he was doing, his face reddening yet again. What was so alluring about this boy? Why couldn't he keep his eyes off of him?

"I'm glad you came, too... Zexy." Demyx's voice had faltered for a moment, his tone changing to something almost... almost what? Seductive? No, no, of course not, it couldn't be. Could it? Zexion had noticed the pause, and the tone, but chose to ignore the implication as Demyx spoke again. "Do... do you want to have a drink with me Zexy?" His eyes widened, but his face calmed quickly as he considered that. Why not? He was already a little buzzed, one or two more wouldn't hurt, and he wanted to hang out with Demyx some more. He was fun to be around, so much so that Zexion didn't mind knocking a few more back with him, which was out of character for him.

"Okay. Sure, why not? Did the rest of the band take off?" Zexion was wondering about that as he glanced around, not seeing them.

"Yeah, Axel wanted to go spend some time with Roxas." His smile was still present, but there was something else there.

"Roxas?"

"Yeah, his boyf... a good friend of his. They're sort of attached at the hip, you know?" Demyx seemed almost envious as he talked about it, so Zexion decided to change the subject as he ordered them each another drink. Demyx seemed happy with that as he pulled up a stool.

Zexion had sat and talked with Demyx for a long time, perhaps too long, and consumed more drinks than he had intended to. He was a bit woozy, and Demyx didn't want to let him go home alone. When Zexion brought up the location of his dorm, Demyx insisted that the apartment he shared with the band was closer, and would have a space for him to pass out in peace. He claimed that Axel would be out all night anyway, and that it was no trouble. Finally giving in, Zexion stumbled drunkenly alongside Demyx until they reached the apartment.

It looked like the inside of a wrecked pirate ship, but that seemed to somehow fit the musician's aesthetic tastes. Demyx tried to help him to the couch, but as they got close, Zexion tripped over the low coffee table, and they both crashed to the ground. His head spun a little, and he winced in pain. When his eyes opened, Demyx's teal eyes were inches from his, his face flushed.

"Zexy... I..." Zexion felt Demyx's knee slide forward, rubbing against his crotch, making his hear skip a beat. "Don't take this the wrong way, but I... I've liked you since the moment I first saw you at that pub. That's why we even played there, I convinced the others it was a good place, I... I'm sorry if that was a little creepy, but I've had you in the back of my mind for sooo long..." Demyx was moving closer, and Zexion felt his heart rate spike. He couldn't move, or was it that he didn't want to move? He had never been in this position with anyone, never felt such intense feelings. He couldn't stop what happened next.

Their lips connected, the kiss gentle at first, Demyx pulling back to place a few on his cheek and neck. When they connected again, their tongues danced, Demyx moaning into his mouth with an erotic edge that Zexion didn't think he'd ever heard. He couldn't stop himself from responding to Demyx's advances, his body seemingly starved for attention. Demyx pulled back briefly, their breaths erratic as he struggled to speak.

"Is this oh... okay? I... I'll stop if... if this feels wrong or... or you..." He finally managed to sputter out. Zexion was looking up at him breathlessly, and felt his body doing things he wasn't telling it to. His right hand rose to cradle Demyx's neck and cheek, rubbing him affectionately. Demyx leaned into his touch, making a sound like a cat purring as goosebumps shot up his frail arms. Demyx reached a thin hand down, calloused fingertips brushing the slate hair from Zexion's face.

"Why do you hide such a handsome face?" Demyx asked, his teal eyes glazed over and half-lidded. Zexion felt a little embarrassed, but also a small sliver of pride. He was handsome? He never thought himself ugly, but...

"I... I don't know..." Zexion could barely construct a sentence anymore, his mind was so hazy. Demyx edged closer, nipping at the nape of his neck before rising up for a proper kiss, his hands hurriedly unbuttoning Zexion's shirt.

Zexion allowed Demyx to do as he pleased, his bare chest and stomach shivering from the sudden gust of night air. Demyx ran a hand up his body, exploring him as they kissed. His head was all fuzzy, but in one aspect it was completely clear; he wanted this right now. He wanted Demyx. As Demyx pulled back for air, he bit gently at his lower lip, pulling his own shirt off and tossing it over the globe in the corner of the modest living room.

"You're... y-you're beautiful." Zexion said, watching his hands slither up Demyx's body. Demyx smiled that cheeky smile, and gently pinned those hands above his head. He was going to protest (he was enjoying participating), but in that moment he trusted Demyx. His trust was rewarded.

Demyx leaned in close to his ear, whispering to him as he nibbled at his earlobe. "Don't worry Zexy, I'll be gentle with you. You're important to me." Zexion's eyes conveyed what his words could not, granting Demyx permission to continue. He gulped as Demyx reached down to unbutton his pants, kissing his way down as he fiddled with the zipper.

"I...I..."

Zexion was cut off as the front door swung open, Axel shuffling in with his arm around the shoulders of a young blonde boy, who seemed to be struggling to support the weight of Axel's lanky body. It probably didn't help that he was much shorter than Axel. Was that Rox... whatever his name was? His curiosity faded almost immediately as he realized the position he was in, and who he was in it with. The clarity was such a shock that he sat up, causing a look of confusion to splash across Demyx's face, and Axel to look right at them. Contrary to what he thought was going to happen, Axel simply chuckled, smiling as he headed to a room in the back of the house that must have been his bedroom. With R... Roxas? He shook his head, trying to organize his thoughts, but he couldn't maintain any sense of control. Demyx was looking embarrassed again, his usual elated expression replaced with one of remorse, and even a little shame. He didn't make eye contact with Zexion as he spoke, his voice quiet and apologetic.

"I'm sorry Zexy, they weren't... I thought that they would be out much later, that we could be alone. I'm really, really sorry." Zexion hated seeing Demyx like this. It didn't suit him at all.

"It's... it's alright... they looked far more inebriated than us, perhaps they won't remember." He wondered why he had decided to word it that way, but... it sounded right in his head.

"W-Would it... would it bother you if they did? If you did?" Demyx asked, looking into his soul with those clear teal eyes.

"I don't know. This is my first time... doing anything like this." He had always considered himself straight, but that was just by default; he had never found another male attractive, but... Demyx was different.

Demyx scooted closer to him, curling up, head resting on his shoulder. He looked up, and their lips touched again, brushing each other ever so slightly. "If you're tired, Zexy, we can end it here for tonight. There will be other nights."

Zexion thought about that for a moment. Other nights... more time with Demyx. More of... that. His face reddened and Demyx smiled up at him.

"Pervert~" Demyx cooed.

Zexion laughed, but could already feel himself falling asleep. He was exhausted, and it was so hot in the living room, his cloudy head couldn't take any more of this. He didn't want to tell Demyx to move, even though the body heat was only making him warmer. The smell of citrus wafted up from Demyx's spikes, calming his spinning head down a little. He loved that smell, and the feeling of smooth skin against his own. Just before his eyes closed and sent him into unconsciousness, he saw Demyx plant a small kiss on his chest. The scene was so perfect, he hoped he was coherent enough to remember it the next day.