Nostalgic No More
Waking up, realizing that I wasn't in that suit of armor, was what I considered, so far, to be the best day of my life. I was sixteen years old and for the first time in a long time, I looked my age. Even though my body was frail, my golden hair, that matched my older brother's, was long and wiry, my amber eyes showed signs of fatigue and horror. I felt amazing; alive.
When I was trapped in the armor, feeling was not an option. Some might say that not being able to age, to tire, to hunger, or to need anything basically, is a luxury. I preferred to call it my nightmare. All those nights I spent alone, watching my brother sleep, were the most painful part of the experience. I felt as if I were the only person in the world. Everything was deathly quiet and all I wanted was to just scream as loud as I possibly could.
My first attempt at standing: I slowly sat up and stood to my feet, my knees buckled seconds later and I came crashing down. But, Brother and Winry were on each side of me, they wrapped an arm around me and brought me back to my feet. I was...tall. Several inches taller than Winry and maybe one or two than Edward. I glanced down at my brother, only to see not a single trace of jealousy, but pride. I could tell that he was proud of me; of us. Edward's limbs were all made of flesh, I was in my body. We had done it.
Then...I smiled. I remember this feeling: the muscles in my cheeks tighening, my lips stretching wide accross my face, sometimes so wide, that my teeth would shine through. I was able to laugh, back when I was in the armor, but I really did miss the actual feeling. The expierence of being able to feel yourself laugh; to smile, in itself was enough to fill me up.
Until it finally hit me: I was absolutely exhausted. This body of mine feels tired, worn, spent, weak, useless, and any other related word that you could possibly think of. The thing is, even though I've never felt so weak in my life, at the same time, nor have I ever felt so strong.
I recall feeling almost every imaginable emotion and physical feeling that day. Except for one.
Nostalgia. That was one feeling that I would no longer have to deal with when it came to yearning for feeling my own flesh. I didn't have to want or wish for the past any longer, for my body was in the present. With my soul.