Lunar Light

by EGB Fan

Going into Kylie's parent problems and Jessica Venkman's, um, transition into womanhood.

Extreme Ghostbusters: Lunar Light

It was seven thirty on a Friday evening and Kylie Griffin was on the sofa in her sitting room, breast-feeding her ten-month-old baby Rose. Eduardo Rivera was in the bathroom bathing their older daughter Conchita. There had been a lot of this kind of thing going on over the last three-and-a-half years, but somehow the snow falling outside and the general pre-Christmas atmosphere made it seem particularly perfect.

Ten months old. Ten whole months since Kylie was in the delivery room with Eduardo, holding their newborn baby. Where had the time gone? Rose had been eating from little jars of disgusting pureed fruit for some time now, and recently Kylie had determined several times that she would start weaning her younger child off the breast. But somehow it didn't seem to have happened yet. The truth of the matter was that Kylie simply didn't want to do it. She loved her daughters and she had loved breast-feeding them both. Obviously she knew she was going to have to stop breast-feeding Rose sometime, but it saddened her to know that once she stopped she would never do it again. Probably.

"We found room for the Christmas tree," Kylie remarked to Eduardo half an hour later, when he emerged from putting Conchita to bed and Rose had fallen asleep.

"Yeah, so?" asked Eduardo, going to sit next to her.

"It's bigger than a baby."

"Kylie," Eduardo said gently. "If you want to have another baby we will have to get a bigger place."

Kylie shook her head. "Sorry. I don't really – if for no other reason than we haven't even lived here two years yet. I just don't want the ones we've got to get any bigger."

"Don't you want to see how they turn out?" Eduardo asked smilingly.

"No," Kylie was adamant. "I want them to stay like this forever, and I want us to stay like this forever, and I never want anything to change."

"Sounds good."

"Yeah."

She was about to slide into his arms and kiss him, but then the phone started ringing. Kylie thought she might as well answer it, as she could do so without leaving the sofa. So she put the receiver to her ear, and the caller announced himself as her cousin Matt Fowler-Davies.

"Hi Matt," Kylie said pleasantly. "Come on – Chita's been bugging me about this for days. Are you coming to see us over Christmas or what?"

"Well you know I want to," Matt told her. "But are you absolutely sure you don't mind me bringing Mom?"

"Well you don't want to leave her all on her own at Christmas," reasoned Kylie. "Maybe she and I might even get a chance to bond."

"I don't think my mother bonds," Matt smiled dryly. "Anyway I've asked her about it, and I told her how well you and I are getting along now despite whatever went on between us in the past. But Mom says she has a much worse history with you than I do – especially where Christmas is concerned."

"Oh God – Christmas nineteen-eighty-four," murmured Kylie, instinctively reaching for the comfort of Eduardo's hand. "I'd almost forgotten that. I'm surprised Maddy remembers. It was the last Christmas she ever spent with us."

"The year before Jill left – I know," said Matt. "And the year before I was born. I never spent one Christmas with you guys. Did something terrible happen?"

"It was all just awful," Kylie told him. "My parents and your parents were all there – no good ever came of that. Your mom didn't behave too badly though, as far as I remember. At any rate I don't think of her when I remember the worst of it. Do you know, Matt – if I had to pinpoint the exact moment when things started to go wrong for me, that Christmas might just be it."

"Very Scrooge," remarked Matt. "Everything that sucked in his life happened at Christmas. I'm sorry, Ky – I didn't mean to bring back any traumatic memories or anything. I won't bring Mom if you don't want me to."

"No, no – tell her to come," Kylie insisted. "With all the Mexican aunts hovering around I need more of my own family members to show my babies off to. And Maddy never really did anything bad by me. I'd really like to try and get more in touch with you guys." That was true. Kylie felt very alienated from a lot of her family, particularly on her mother's side.

"All right then," agreed Matt. "I'll tell Mom you said that. Should I get her to tell me about Christmas 'eighty-four?"

"Better not," advised Kylie, as some of what she had seen as background events to her own drama resurfaced in her mind. "It was a pretty bad day for you too."

"For me? What was I – two months in the womb?"

"Something like that."

"Well I've made it to nineteen, so whatever it was can't have affected me too badly. I'll ask her. So anyway, I'll see you real soon. Say hi to Eddie for me. And give both of the girls a cuddle from me, ok?"

"Yeah, you bet. See ya, Matt."

After Kylie had hung up, all she could think about was that Christmas. Nineteen-eighty-four was, without a doubt, her worst Christmas ever. She crawled across the sofa to Eduardo and leaned into him, smiling when she felt him squeeze her shoulder.

"What were your Christmases like as a kid?" she asked.

"Good," Eduardo answered. "We used to go to my grandmother in Mexico. She made a great meal. Carlos was even quite civil to me."

"It sounds lovely."

"It was – until Dad died."

Kylie squeezed him tighter and asked, "Did I ever tell you about Christmas nineteen-eighty-four?"

"Don't think so, babe," answered Eduardo. "Was it awful?"

"Terrible," Kylie said with feeling. "Me, Dad, Jill, Maddy, Maddy's then-husband and Grandma Rose. I suppose we must have had a few Christmases like that, but this was the only one I remember when the fighting was really bad."

Kylie remembered it quite clearly now, after spending twenty years trying to forget. She had been in the kitchen with her great-grandmother Rose Lockyer, and now realised that she had probably been placed there quite deliberately. Kylie's parents, Steve and Jill Griffin, were in the sitting room with Jill's younger sister Maddy Davies and her husband Sean Fowler. The schema in Kylie's mind had told her even at five years old that her uncle would be sitting in the corner with a drink in his hand, ignoring everybody else.

The first thing Kylie remembered was her mother's voice screaming shrilly in the next room: "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU HAVE TO GO BACK FIRST THING IN THE MORNING? YOU'RE NEVER F---ING WELL HERE!"

"If I could get a job closer to home, I would – you know I would," Steve retorted irritably. "It's money that we need to support Kylie. You know, if you'd maybe contribute a bit more than nothing I could be home more often!"

"How dare you?" fumed Jill. "I spend all and every day stuck here looking after your daughter!"

"No you don't!" yelled Steve. "Rose looks after her! You don't do anything but watch daytime television and then go out and get pissed!"

"Did Rose tell you that?" Jill hissed maliciously. "Why do you always take her word over mine? You know she doesn't like me! You're my husband! You're supposed to be on my side! I'm getting really sick of this, you know. I've sacrificed the best years of my life for you and you can't even show me a little bit of support!"

"You were the one who wanted a child," snapped Steve.

"Are you saying you didn't want Kylie?"

"Of course not."

"Good, because I've given up so much for that girl. Do you have any idea how frustrating it is being stuck here all day? And you don't even come home to me at the end of the day – not that you're good for much when you are home. I'll tell you, Steve – sometimes I seriously think about packing all of this in."

This announcement panicked the young Kylie greatly. She bolted into the sitting room and clamped herself firmly onto Jill's legs. She held on tight, fighting back tears as she looked up at her mother and pleaded, "Don't leave, Mommy!"

"Oh Kylie, how can I?" snapped Jill, pushing her small daughter forcibly away.

"Sorry honey," Steve smiled weakly, pulling Kylie into the hug she obviously needed. "We're just tired. You must have noticed how stressful Christmas can be."

Maddy and Sean, meanwhile, had been politely ignoring the argument. Sean was taking hearty swigs from a beer can and looking fixedly at the muted television, ignoring his wife as usual. Maddy also had a drink in her hand – straight vodka – and her incensed glare moved continually between this and her husband.

"Maddy!" Jill suddenly snapped. "How many of those have you had?"

"A few," shrugged Maddy, downing what remained in the glass and then heading once again for the booze table.

"Oh for God's sake," muttered Jill, rolling her eyes, but she made no move to try and stop her sister from drinking anything else.

"Don't you think maybe you should stop, Maddy?" Steve asked gently. He was still holding Kylie close to him, wondering why on earth he allowed his five-year-old daughter to associate with these people.

"This is nothing to do with you," snapped Maddy. "Anyway, I wouldn't worry. I don't know if you noticed, but your wife drank like a fish when she was pregnant."

"Pregnant?" Sean suddenly looked up from the TV, his eyes wide. "Maddy, you're not pregnant!"

"I TOLD YOU LAST WEEK, YOU F---ING MORON!" screeched Maddy. "I KNEW YOU WERE TOO DRUNK TO REMEMBER!"

"What did you want to get yourself pregnant for?" demanded her husband, rising to his feet and looking squarely at Maddy.

"You got me pregnant, you stupid piece of shit!" she exclaimed. "Remember a couple of months ago – you got so drunk that you forgot to ignore me and actually behaved like my husband for a change? It was the best two minutes we've had since we've been married!"

"Why you…" Sean took a step towards his wife and jabbed a finger angrily at her chest. "You did this on purpose, you manipulative bitch! You did it to make me stay!"

"Were you thinking of leaving?" Jill asked interestedly.

"I'd leave myself if I didn't need his money to support this baby," Maddy told her sister. "And you're damn well going to make an effort, Sean – ok? I've had enough of deadbeat dads to last me a lifetime."

"We agreed!" fumed Sean. "No kids!"

"That's enough," Steve suddenly interjected. "Come on, you guys – it's Christmas!"

"So?" Maddy snorted derisively.

"So let's make an effort," Steve returned shortly, "if only for Kylie's sake."

"It's a bit late for that now," a new voice proclaimed angrily, and Rose appeared in the doorway. "This is disgraceful behaviour, especially in the presence of a child. I'm surprised at you, Stephen."

Rose had then taken Kylie's hand and ushered her out to Steve's car, in which they had driven to the home of Rose's daughter and her husband – Steve's parents. They had intended to come and join the party around lunchtime anyway, but Rose now told them not to bother – Kylie's Christmas was in enough tatters already.

The rest of the day hadn't been so bad. Kylie's grandparents made a fuss of her, hastily throwing together a meal that wasn't quite the traditional Christmas spread, but enjoyable nonetheless. Kylie was halfway through a slice of homemade cake when Steve knocked on the front door full of remorse. His mother and grandmother firmly reprimanded him out in the hallway before he was allowed to go to Kylie, take her in his arms and promise almost tearfully that she would never have to go through anything like that again if he could help it.

Jill had left a few months later with no warning. Kylie was heartbroken and Steve's already precarious stress levels escalated, but somehow Rose got them both through it. The following Christmases had been much better. Kylie missed her mother for the first couple of years, but she found Christmas with her father, grandparents and great-grandmother to be much less confrontational. When Rose died in nineteen-ninety-six, it just wasn't good anymore – but then two years later Eduardo and Kylie had their first Christmas as a couple, exchanging gifts and kisses and creating their own warmth in the draughty attic room that Kylie had occupied at the time.

"I never ever want Conchita and Rose to go through anything like that," Kylie now told Eduardo.

"Neither do I." He dropped a kiss on her forehead. "I promise I'll try not to bicker with Carlos when we go there."

"They love it at Carl's," Kylie smiled slightly. "They don't care what you and he get up to as long as they get Kevin to play with."

"Christmas is so much cooler when there's kids around."

"Yeah." Kylie cuddled up closer to him and said, "Honey – tell me again that I'm a good mom and the girls are happy."

"You're a good mom and the girls are happy."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"Big moon," remarked Kylie, as her eyes wandered over to the window.

"Yeah," Eduardo agreed, noticing that the moonlight seemed unusually bright, though he didn't really care. "Good night for werewolves."

"Did we have a big moon last night?" Kylie frowned thoughtfully.

"I didn't notice. Does it matter?"

"I suppose not."

x x x

While Kylie was relaying the tale of the appalling Christmas, something pretty big was happening to eleven-year-old Jessica Venkman – and her mother discreetly told her father about it the following morning. Peter Venkman was instantly overcome with what can only be described as a proud sadness… or perhaps a sad pride. He was reminded of the Christmas four years earlier, when his stepson Oscar Wallance was frustrated that he couldn't sing to his first really classy electric guitar (a gift courtesy of one Charlie Venkman). Oscar had spent that entire winter sounding sometimes like Miss Piggy, sometimes Barry White and very occasionally somewhere in between. But then one morning he awoke with the start of spring, and found that his voice no longer betrayed him but stayed at a steady, constant tenor. He was delighted when he tried it against his guitar and found that this new voice was actually better suited to the kind of music he liked to play.

After that Oscar's Christmases started to be about music and parties rather than presents and TV specials, and the tacky home Christmases were almost all for Jessica. But now it seemed that she wouldn't be enjoying them as much either. Peter had noticed recently that his daughter had suddenly started to grow up very quickly. She seemed to have grown a little in most directions every time he saw her: she was taller, vainly trying to conceal small breasts under her brother's sweaters and her hips had rapidly expanded to fill her jeans.

Jessica, though she was slowly getting used to the changes, hated what was happening to her. Peter didn't like it much either, and neither did his wife Dana. Nobody wants their child to grow up – but unlike Jessica they couldn't help feeling more than a little proud. Their daughter was becoming a woman… rather a shock to the system when she had spent almost her entire life behaving more like their son than their daughter.

Peter and Dana both switched on smiles of welcome when Jessica sloped into the kitchen, still wearing the t-shirt and tracksuit trousers she had slept in. She didn't think she was pretty, but both of her parents did, and Peter was particularly struck by it now. Even with her eyes heavy with sleep and her brown curly hair even more disorderly than usual, he thought she was beautiful.

"How are you doing, baby?" Dana asked sympathetically.

"I do not feel that I was warned," Jessica responded, slumping dejectedly into the nearest chair. She was suffering extreme discomfort, a dull pain tugging on her lower abdomen, hips, thighs and back. Her entire body felt stiff and there was a restless feeling in her legs – wherever she put them they just didn't feel right.

"Oh honey, I'm sorry." Dana went over and hugged her daughter. "How about if I run you a bath?"

"Ha – yeah, right," scoffed Jessica. "Shark attack."

At least she still had her sense of humour, but the joke made Peter feel slightly uncomfortable. It looked like he was about to be left alone with his newly womanised daughter. What was he supposed to say to her?

"It'll help," Dana insisted.

"Will it?" asked Jessica, her green eyes growing pleadingly wide. "Will it really? Do you promise?"

"I promise." Dana kissed her daughter's forehead, and then made for the stairs. "Peter, give her some breakfast."

"I'm really not hungry," Jessica told her father emphatically. "I could use a couple of painkillers though," she added as an afterthought.

So Peter popped two ibuprofen tablets and gave them to Jessica with a glass of milk (because pills never work on an empty stomach). Then he watched her hugging herself and grimacing with pain and wished there was more he could do for her. In the end he decided to ignore the awkwardness he was feeling and asked straight out, "Is there anything else I can do for you, Jessie?"

She just shook her head. The sound of running water was clearly audible upstairs. With a wan smile at her father, Jessica got to her feet and walked stiffly out of the kitchen, making her way upstairs to the bathroom.

Peter sat at the kitchen table in quiet contemplation for a few minutes. The first thing that occurred to him was that he was fifty years old. God, how depressing! So what did he have to look forward to now? Anything? Grandchildren, perhaps? Interesting thought, if a little terrifying.

The front door clicked open, taking Peter by surprise as he faithfully believed that all three of his immediate family members were upstairs. However he was proved wrong when Oscar, with tired eyes and a faintly satisfied smile, wandered into the kitchen and immediately set to work making coffee.

"Are you just getting home?" Peter asked incredulously.

Oscar looked amused, as he answered sarcastically, "No, I came home at ten and went straight to bed. And then I got up at six and went jogging."

"That is so not fair," Peter muttered grudgingly. "How come you're sixteen and I'm not?"

"You've already been sixteen. It's my turn," Oscar retorted flippantly.

Peter, feeling pretty lousy, decided to change the subject. "Good night?" he asked.

"Yeah, not bad."

"Did you get AJ home in time for her curfew?"

"Dad, if I hadn't, Casey would have cut my nuts off by now."

This statement proved to be something of a silencer. Mind you, Peter could probably have expected it. Oscar was constantly complaining about the friction he was getting from Casey Jackson, despite having treated the guy's younger sister Amy with prefect decorum for the last five months.

Oscar was sipping from a mug of very strong coffee (he didn't anticipate sleeping for a while) when Dana came back downstairs. He braced himself, expecting a thorough grilling for his long absence from home, but instead his mother just kissed him on the cheek and smiled pleasantly, "Good morning, honey."

"Good morning," Oscar answered warily. "How are you?"

"Fine."

"Oh. Good." There was a long pause until Oscar couldn't take it anymore. He was sure that she must be building up to something, so he said, "Aren't you mad that I stayed out all night?"

"No," Dana returned breezily. "It's school holidays and I didn't give you a curfew. Did you give him a curfew, Peter?"

"No Dana, I didn't give him a curfew."

"There you go then."

"Oh." Oscar still couldn't quite believe this. "Aren't you going to ask me if I smoked or drank or took drugs?"

"I'm quite sure you didn't, darling," Dana told him.

"Really? Why are you quite sure I didn't?"

"Because you're old enough to know better and I trust you. You're nearly grown up, honey, and you need to be responsible for yourself sometimes." This said with a tighter than average hug.

"Oh. Right." Oscar put down his coffee mug and regarded both of his parents carefully. "'K, what's going on?"

"Jess got her period," Dana explained bluntly.

Oscar's reaction was violent and unexpected. His eyes widened and he exclaimed in dismay, "No, that's impossible! She's much too young!"

"Well she's eleven," his mother pointed out reasonably. "It's a little early, but it happens."

"Oh man," grumbled Oscar. "Christmas isn't gonna be any fun after this."

"Why not?" Dana asked confusedly.

"Because Jess is too grown-up to enjoy it properly. This is so sudden! She hasn't even started high school!"

"Oscar, calm down," Peter said soothingly. Even he and Dana weren't taking it this badly. "She had to grow up someday."

"Well she didn't have to do it for another couple of years," retorted Oscar. "This is terrible!"

"Why is it so terrible?" asked Peter.

"Because she's only eleven. I don't know if you'd noticed, but my sweaters aren't really doing the trick anymore. The boys at school have started looking at her, you know – and they're supposed to be her friends! She's too young!"

"Ah," Dana murmured quietly.

"What do you mean, 'Ah'?" demanded Oscar.

"Well," Dana said carefully, "perhaps if you think about it you might have a little bit more sympathy for Casey now."

"What? Mom, that's completely different!"

"How?" Dana asked reasonably.

"Well because… because Jessica's friends aren't in control of their hormones and I am."

"Casey doesn't think so."

"Well he's wrong. And besides, AJ's three years older than Jess. When Jess is fourteen…"

"Yes?" prompted Dana.

"Well… I might mind a tiny bit less."

"You won't," Peter smiled slightly. "Come on kid, it's not like she's leaving home. She just… well… you know."

"Honestly – men." Dana rolled her eyes. "This isn't Victorian England, Peter. It's ok to say it out loud."

There was just time for an awkward pause before the phone started ringing. Peter went to answer it, and returned minutes later to say, "I have to go – they need me to fill in for Kylie at the firehouse. She had to rush off because she's just heard her dad had a heart attack."

x x x

So it was that Eduardo and Conchita arrived at the firehouse alone together that morning. Kylie, almost tearful because she was so reluctant to leave them, had taken Rose with her. Eduardo wondered if she thought he couldn't cope with both of the kids on his own, and he noticed that Kylie hesitated before answering, "Of course I don't. I just think it's a bad idea for me to leave Rose for any real length of time – especially as I'm still breast-feeding."

Garrett Miller was shooting baskets with somebody not that often seen at the firehouse: Winston Zeddemore's daughter Charlene. She was there sometimes, but somehow she and Eduardo nearly always seemed to miss each other and so were not well acquainted. They exchanged a polite smile as Eduardo started pulling Conchita out of her thick duffel coat and brushing the snowflakes from her long brown hair.

"Hey," Garrett greeted them. "We heard. Can you spare me a minute, kid?" and he threw the basketball to Charlene.

"Sure," the girl shrugged, catching the ball deftly in both hands. "I don't need you."

"Suit yourself. It's a waste of time trying to teach you anyway – you can never be that good."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, you're a girl."

Charlene's eyes narrowed. "You'd better be kidding!"

"Of course I am," Garrett smiled crookedly, before wheeling his way across the room to Eduardo and Conchita. The latter was waiting with a wide smile and a hug, which Garrett happily accepted. "Where's Rose?" he asked.

"Kylie took her," Eduardo answered rather despondently.

"Oh. So is he going to be ok?"

"Probably. The doctor's been threatening him with it since sometime last year. Ky said they didn't sound too anxious over the phone."

"What about you?" asked Garrett, gently digging Conchita in the ribs. "Are you gonna be ok?"

"Mommy said she wouldn't be gone long," Conchita replied, though she sounded a little sad.

"Yeah, and Grandpa needs her more than we do," added Eduardo, pulling his daughter into a consoling hug. "And anyway, we'll be all right. Beth's making us dinner tonight."

"Beth's good at dinner," Conchita smiled slightly.

At this point Oscar wandered into the room, blowing ostentatiously on his gloved hands. As soon as Peter followed him into the room Oscar turned round and said accusingly, "It's freezing out there!"

"Well don't moan at me – it's not my fault," retorted Peter. "It's December. And anyway, you didn't have to come with me. You could have stayed home."

"No I couldn't," argued Oscar.

"Why not?"

"I couldn't stay home with Mom and Jess today. It'd be weird." Oscar turned round, quickly surveyed his surroundings and exclaimed suddenly, "Charlene! Brilliant!"

Charlene caught her basketball as it descended from the hoop, and took a moment to get over her surprise. Then she said, with a smile of amusement, "It's nice to see you too, Oscar."

"Hey, listen – you and your mom and dad should come to us for dinner tonight," Oscar went on chattily. "You're not busy, are you?"

"Um… I don't think so," Charlene answered guardedly.

"I thought you were going to a party tonight, Oscar," Peter cut in.

"I am," Oscar confirmed, still wearing the fixed grin he had on for Charlene. "But you won't want me there anyway."

Peter looked blank for a moment. "Then why…?"

"Well, Charlene's only about a year older than Jess," Oscar murmured furtively, close to Peter's ear. "I thought she could talk to her about… things."

Despite the Tarantino-style low voice, Charlene overheard him. "What things?" she demanded loudly.

"You'll find out," Oscar replied cryptically, making his way over to Eduardo and Conchita as Garrett left them. He accepted a hug from the three year old and said solemnly to her father, "Sorry about the tough break. Is there anything I can do?"

"You're doing it," Eduardo answered gratefully. "Just give her as many hugs as she wants, ok?"

"You bet. Aww, you are so cute!" exclaimed Oscar, suddenly coming over all sentimental as he crouched down and looked into Conchita's big green eyes. "And you're so little! I can't believe Jess ever used to be that little!"

"Oscar, are you feeling ok?" Charlene asked dryly.

"Don't worry about it, kid," Peter advised. "It's just because it's getting towards Christmas. He gets very sentimental."

"If you say so," Charlene shrugged resignedly. "But I think there's something weird going on around here. Did you guys get a load of that moon last night?"

"Oh yeah – I saw that!" Oscar answered with enthusiasm, still not letting go of his substitute little sister. "Wasn't it beautiful?"

"Very big and shiny," was Charlene's verdict. "I've never seen a moon quite like it."

"Kylie noticed," volunteered Eduardo.

"I didn't," Garrett cut in. "Who cares?"

"You're so unromantic," Oscar criticised. "Would you say that to Jo?"

"Sure. She's unromantic as well."

"AJ and I looked at it for like twenty minutes."

"Pass the sick bucket," muttered Charlene. "You're still seeing her, then – with all your appendages attached?"

"Yeah. So are you guys coming to dinner tonight or what?" Oscar asked impatiently.

"Oh – that," Charlene returned nonchalantly. "Ask my dad. He's around here somewhere."

Oscar gave Conchita one last squeeze, and then rose to his full height and marched purposefully from the room. Once he had left, Charlene looked at Peter and asked confusedly, "Why is he so keen for us to come to dinner with you? He won't even be there!"

"He would like you to have a very specific conversation with Jessica," Peter explained patiently.

"What conversation?"

"You'll find out."

"You've both gone crazy."

x x x

Some fifty miles away from home, Kylie sat on a hospital bed beside her father, her legs stretched out in front of her along the length of the clinical white sheets. Steve was awake and ready to receive his daughter by the time she arrived, and now he was cuddling Rose on his lap and discussing her quite animatedly. It was only a minor heart attack – Steve was instantly overcome with guilt when he saw that Kylie had travelled all this way for it.

"I'm glad she got our hair," he was saying to her now. "That's the only thing you got from me. Conchita looks absolutely nothing like me."

"This one is beginning to look an awful lot like Eduardo's mom," Kylie smiled dryly.

"Yeah, I can see what you mean," Steve laughed slightly. "Honey… thanks for coming."

"Well I thought you might be about to die."

"Ah Ky – I'm not ready for that yet. You didn't have to come all this way. You should go home."

"I'll go home tomorrow," Kylie told him. "I really don't want to make that journey again today, and neither does Rose. Is it ok if we spend the night at your apartment?"

"Sure," Steve replied. "I won't need it. But I bet you won't be able to sleep for worrying that Eduardo and Conchita are ok."

"You're right," Kylie agreed. "I made Beth promise to look after them, but I'll still worry."

"I used to worry about you a lot, you know," Steve went on carefully. "When you were little and I was away from home I worried that your mom wasn't looking after you. The doctors have all been telling me I was bound to have a heart attack soon, but I worry a lot less now than I used to. Ever since I saw that you were happy with Eduardo my stress levels have gone way down."

"Yeah, I know, you've told me that before," said Kylie. "I was surprised when I got the phone call this morning. I thought if you actually were going to have a heart attack you would have done it years ago."

"Well I should probably talk to you about that." He was watching his hands as Rose carefully prodded, pulled and examined each of his fingers in turn. "I think there's a reason this happened now."

"Oh yes?"

"I saw Jill yesterday."

"Oh." Kylie felt herself overcome with anger. "Well it was only a matter of time. You know she's been trying to weasel her way back into my life. Did I tell you she tried to take Conchita from preschool without even telling anyone?"

"Yes honey, lots of times," Steve answered patiently.

"Well I'm still furious about it. So what did she say to you? Did she quiz you about us?"

"Yes. She wanted to know whether Rose was crawling and how Chita was enjoying preschool and what colour their eyes were…"

"You didn't tell her, did you?" Kylie demanded sharply.

"Of course I didn't. She… um…"

"What?"

"She said she wanted us to get back together."

Kylie's initial reaction to this announcement was laughter. It was quite probably the most ridiculous notion she had ever heard in her life. And then she started to wonder just what it might mean, so she asked, "Why? And I hope you told her where to go!"

"Of course I said no," Steve hastened to assure her. "Several times actually – she was very insistent. She said she wanted to give it another shot and she was sorry for everything that happened and she'd even have a baby if I wanted her to."

"Jesus!" exclaimed Kylie. "But she's forty-eight!"

"I know, but she seems to think she still can."

"This is absolutely ridiculous. Why now? It's been like nineteen years – almost twenty!"

"I know," Steve said soothingly. "It's not really me she wants, Kylie. She must be pretty desperate to get back into your life."

"Much more of this and I could probably get a restraining order," Kylie muttered bitterly. "Why can't she just leave us alone?"

x x x

Peter and Oscar took Winston and Charlene home with them that evening, picking up Winston's wife Kaila on the way. When he reached the front door, Peter fully expected a grilling from Dana: something along the lines of, "How am I supposed to make dinner for three extra people at such short notice?" Well, he had prepared for this, his plan being to pass the buck to Oscar. However when he opened the door and stepped into the hallway, it became quite obvious to Peter that, even if his wife had minded the unexpected dinner guests, she would now be distracted all evening. This perhaps was one of the best times for the phone call to come – despite the embarrassment it might cause any or all of the Zeddemores.

"YOU ARE A SELFISH PIECE OF SHIT AND I NEVER SHOULD HAVE LET YOU BACK INTO HIS LIFE!" Dana was yelling into the phone. "HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO YOUR SON, YOU COMPLETE AND UTTER - "

The torrent abuse came to an abrupt halt when Oscar marched into the hallway, reached around his mother and pressed his finger down firmly on the phone's cradle. Dana looked blankly at the dead receiver before saying calmly, "Honey."

"Yeah?" asked Oscar.

"Shoes."

"Oh. Sorry."

Oscar went back to the front door and kicked the snow off his Nikes, and then left them on the doormat. Dana greeted her visitors, apologised for the slightly hostile reception and then let Peter usher them through to the sitting room. Then, left alone with Oscar, she said again, "Honey."

"Yeah?"

"That was Andre. He can't make it over here to see you at New Year."

Oscar had already drawn this conclusion from hearing his mother's side of the exchange, and with it had come a flood of relief. This time Andre would have come alone, and Oscar would have had to endure the company of his estranged father without even Kate and the kids there to entertain him. Not that his two half-brothers provided much in the way of entertainment, but that was neither here nor there.

"I don't care," was Oscar's response to the announcement. "You didn't need to yell at him. Actually Mom, while we're on the subject, I'd kinda rather you didn't yell at him over the phone every time he lets me down."

"Why?" Dana asked, surprised.

"Well for one thing you'd be doing an awful lot of yelling," Oscar smiled dryly. "But also – well – not to be rude, but it's not really anything to do with you. If I wanted him yelled at I'd do it myself, but he's just not that important to me. It doesn't bother me so it shouldn't bother you, ok?"

"Um… ok."

Quite suddenly Oscar changed the subject. "I need to get ready for this party – Tim's coming to pick me up in like a half hour. Have a nice evening."

He swept past his mother to walk upstairs, leaving her in a state of confused emotion. Now not only was she wondering why Oscar had suddenly invited the Zeddemores to dinner when he wasn't even going to be there, but she also had some new developments on her son's relationship with her ex to chew on. No more yelling at Andre down the phone. That was going to feel strange for a while.

Christmas being exactly a week away probably didn't help – one always feels sentimental at Christmas. Dana was already feeling pretty emotional from spending the day with Jessica, who had done little but run backwards and forwards from the bathroom. Right now she was upstairs with a hot water bottle waiting for the ibuprofen to kick in. Oscar was in his room preening himself for a party… was this how Christmases were going to be from now on? Dana allowed herself a heartfelt sigh before going to entertain her guests. A couple of years ago the kids would have been outside right now pelting each other with snowballs.

x x x

It was only after Peter, Winston and Eduardo had all left the firehouse with their respective offspring that Egon Spengler suddenly seemed to notice the moon that had so struck Charlene Zeddemore the night before. It didn't look normal, and there did seem to have been a slight increase in PK activity lately. And weather officials had been puzzling over the behaviour of the tide lately… this certainly warranted investigation.

"This is so not fair," Garrett grumbled to Roland Jackson, as they followed the lead of their PKE meters and Egon, who was some yards ahead of them, through the darkness and the thick snow blanketing Central Park. "How come we have to do this? I should have been home hours ago!"

"Everyone else is busy," Roland replied reasonably.

"Yeah, busy keeping warm," Garrett muttered bitterly. "Eddie and Chita are in a heated dining room eating an Elizabeth Rivera culinary masterpiece. Winston and Dr. V. are doing something very similar…"

"Kylie's fifty miles from home waiting for her father to recover from a heart attack," Roland added dryly.

"Yeah, but she's probably warm," Garrett said unfeelingly. "Jo's at my place reading pizza menus as we speak, you know. If this takes much longer she'll give up on me and fall asleep. I'm sure I used to spend Christmas week a better way than this. Think of Oscar – he's gone to a party! That's what I should be doing. He's probably having a great time feeling up some – um – I mean dancing with your sister."

"AJ told me they looked at the moon last night."

"Yeah, I heard about that. Doesn't it make you wanna throw up?"

"It is kinda beautiful," Roland remarked, looking up at the brilliant silver light beaming down on them through the gathering clouds. "But I agree with Egon: it just doesn't look right."

"It looks bigger," observed Garrett. "It's not like crashing into the Earth or something, is it?"

"That couldn't happen."

"Well stranger things have happened – most of them to us."

"Quiet!" Egon suddenly hissed, turning round, and Roland and Garrett instantly stopped in their tracks. "I don't want to alarm anybody, but I think there just might be a werewolf lurking somewhere about these parts."

"Werewolf?" Garrett squeaked nervously.

"Yes," whispered Egon. "We know a few werewolves and they'll always lock themselves away for the full moon, but they probably didn't anticipate this. And do you see how the moon is clouding over? I'm reminded of how the city clouded over during our battle with Gozer. I know it sounds like a somewhat illogical conclusion but… well, the nymphs and sprites and whatnots of Central Park seem very confused."

"There's nymphs and sprites here?" Garrett asked dubiously.

"Of course – but I shouldn't think they'll be of any help to us. There's nothing I can see that we can do here to tonight. I think we should - "

He stopped abruptly when a low growling sound caught his ears, and moments later a gargantuan dog-like creature stalked from a nearby hedge and, hackles raised, prepared to pounce. Garrett flicked his proton gun onto a low setting and aimed a blast of fire at the creature – only enough to singe its fur and scare it away.

"I'll have Janine call all known werewolves tomorrow and explain what's been happening – as best she can anyway," Egon deadpanned.

"So what were you going to say?" asked Garrett. "You think we should… go home?"

"No. I think we should go and see what the tide is up to."

"Well that would have been my second choice," Garrett murmured sarcastically.

x x x

Garrett had been right: almost everyone they knew was having a much better time than the three on-duty Ghostbusters. After dinner Jessica took Charlene up to the warm and relaxed atmosphere of her bedroom, and found that she was actually quite grateful for the opportunity to talk to a girl close to her own age. By some stroke of luck – or perhaps brotherly intuition – Oscar's gut feeling had turned out to be spot on. However Charlene's reaction to Jessica's news was maddening.

"Lucky?" screeched the latter. "Lucky? This is the worst thing that's ever happened to me!"

"Ok, calm down," Charlene said soothingly. She was sitting cross-legged on the foot of the bed while Jessica worked off her frustrations by pacing the room in front of her. "It had to happen eventually."

"Well not now it didn't! I'm only eleven! I'm not ready!"

"Calm down," Charlene said again. "I don't know what to tell you, Jess. It's gotta be better than being behind all of your friends like I am."

"All of my friends are boys. I don't what's going on with them. But anyway, that doesn't matter. It's not fair! You're older than me and you want it to happen! Whoever's in charge of this stuff sure got their wires crossed somewhere."

Charlene looked over to the window and said distractedly, "You might even be right. Seems like yours isn't the only monthly cycle out of whack around here."

"Are you still going on about the stupid moon?" Jessica asked scathingly.

"You know, you were a lot nicer before you broke the boundary to womanhood."

"Well I've never been that nice."

"And you always used to look on the bright side too," Charlene went on. "It can't be all bad. It's completely natural."

"No it isn't," Jessica was adamant. "It's weird and disgusting. And it hurts."

"Really?" Charlene asked interestedly. "Where?"

"Pretty much everywhere below the waist."

"You always struck me as kind of a feminist," remarked Charlene, "but you can't be or you wouldn't gripe about it. Mom says men would never cope with it."

"She's right – they wouldn't," Jessica smiled dryly. "Look, this is really hard for me. I've never really felt like a girl – my grandparents all say I should have been born a boy. And now this has happened and people have started treating me differently."

"What people?"

"Everyone. My friends act all weird around me, Mom's started really babying me, Dad won't do guy stuff with me anymore and I haven't even seen my brother since yesterday."

"He's worried about you, you know," Charlene told her. "He obviously doesn't like you being this unhappy. I wish you'd cheer up. It's not that bad. You knew it would happen sometime in the next five or six years. And besides, you're looking really good."

"I am?" Jessica asked dubiously, looking down at herself. She was wearing a vastly oversized frayed sweater, Oscar's faded old jeans and Garfield socks.

"Yeah. I know you don't like it, but you've filled out and it really suits you. You still look kinda scruffy, but you could be pretty."

"Ok, now you just sound like my grandmother."

"Sorry," Charlene smiled apologetically. "I'm just trying to make you feel better."

"Thanks." Jessica managed a weak smile, and went to sit next to Charlene on the bed. "I've caught people looking at me, you know. I don't like it. It's weird because I'm only eleven – I shouldn't even have…"

"Breasts?"

"Shut up."

x x x

Steve's flatmate Richard recognised Kylie when she turned up on his doorstep. He had met her a few times in the past, though he hadn't seen her for a few years. However he seemed pleased to see her, and he received her and Rose very politely. He asked after Steve, heated up some lasagne for Kylie and admired Rose until she started grizzling, at which point he bundled the baby back into her mother's arms and announced that he had to go out.

Kylie didn't mind being left alone. In fact she was rather glad of it after her long day. She suspected that Rose was feeling homesick and missing her father and sister – and probably their cat as well. She was grateful when the baby finally drifted off to sleep, but soon missed the distraction when she realised just how much she was missing home. So Kylie snatched up the phone and called Eduardo.

"I'm hopeless," she confided, leaning back on her father's double bed, swathed in the unusually bright moonlight streaming in through the window. "Rose was grizzling so I breast-fed her."

"Well that's probably what she wanted," reasoned Eduardo.

"I know, but I can't do it forever."

"Don't worry about that now, Ky. How's your dad?"

"Actually he's pretty much ok. He doesn't need me – we'll come home tomorrow."

"Really? That's brilliant! We've really missed you both."

"Has Beth been looking after you?"

"Yeah, she gave us a great dinner."

"Good. Is Chita still awake?"

"No, she's in our bed. That was my idea – I thought I'd get cold without you."

"Yeah – this apartment's quite nippy," Kylie told him. "I've got like three sweaters on. I'm really gonna miss you tonight."

They talked for a while. Kylie wanted to know what Conchita had eaten and whether she was warm enough and did Eduardo know where the hot water bottles were kept and had he remembered to feed Pagan. Then finally they exchanged I-love-yous and Kylie hung up just in time to hear the knock at the door. Richard was out, so she was going to have to get off the bed and let it get cold to answer the door. Kylie sighed deeply, took a quick glance at Rose and then made her way through to the front room.

Jill Griffin was waiting on the doorstep. That was unexpected – and Jill certainly hadn't expected her knock to be answered by her estranged daughter. It so happened that the mother was the first to get over her immense surprise and ask, "What are you doing here?"

"My father lives here," Kylie deadpanned. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see Steve."

"He's not here."

"You might as well slam the door in my face then… unless you want to talk."

"Haven't I told you enough times that I never want to see you again?"

"Please," begged Jill. "I'm sorry."

"Too late," snapped Kylie. "And while you're here I might as well tell you that there's no point in trying to get to me through Dad. Even if he was stupid enough to marry you again I still wouldn't let you have anything to do with me or my children."

"Are they here?"

"No," Kylie said firmly. "What did you want to see Dad about anyway?"

"Is that any of your business?" Jill asked coldly, apparently forgetting her remorse.

"Fine," and Kylie pointedly closed the door.

x x x

The next morning Jessica woke up very uncomfortable and had to take a bath. She didn't even look at her alarm clock until she was back in her room towelling herself down. It was nine fifteen – early for her, but she'd never go back to sleep now.

Charlene had told Jessica that she was "looking good". No matter how many times Jessica looked at herself in the mirror, she couldn't agree. Scowling at her reflection, she hid herself underneath jeans and a sweater before going downstairs. Dana's parents would be arriving at the house soon. Jessica prayed silently to whomever might happen to be up there that her grandmother wouldn't make any embarrassing comments. For years Valerie Barrett had longed for her granddaughter to show some indication that she was a girl.

"Dresses, no thanks. Dolls, no thanks. Breasts? Ah-ha!" Jessica muttered, as she wandered into the kitchen. "Hi Mom."

"Hi honey," smiled Dana, kissing her. "How are you feeling?"

"A little better."

"Good."

"Mom."

"Yes?"

"You wouldn't do anything to embarrass me, would you? Like you won't tell people about… you know – or wrap up bras for me to open on Christmas Day or anything?"

"Jessica, as though I would!" exclaimed Dana, exaggerating the shocked indignation that the question evoked in her. "But since you bring up the subject of bras…"

Jessica felt immensely relieved when the phone started ringing, and she jumped to her feet to answer it. "Hello?" she said chirpily into the mouthpiece.

"Oh, it's you," a childish male voice answered, in a well-spoken British accent. "Please don't yell at me. May I speak to Oscar?"

"Why?" demanded Jessica.

"For a chat."

"About what?"

"I don't think you'd be interested. Come on, I know you don't want to talk to me."

"That's true," Jessica had to agree. "So which one are you?"

"Hayden."

"Hold on." Jessica rested the receiver on the small table by the stairwell and then called up the stairs, "OSCAR! Your bratty little half-brother is on the phone!"

"Which one?" Oscar's voice called back.

"Hay den!"

"Hay den," Oscar muttered to himself, half-annoyed and half-amused, as he made his way downstairs. Then he picked up the phone, put it to his ear and said pleasantly, "Hey buddy. How are you?"

"Yeah, not bad," Hayden returned nonchalantly.

"Are you ok? You sound different."

"Do I? Sorry. Anyway, I – um – wanted to apologise for Dad. He said he didn't get a chance to talk to you yesterday. He feels pretty rotten about it, you know."

"Does he?" Oscar asked expressionlessly.

"Yes," replied Hayden. "But the good news is that he can get over there during the February half term – you know, when we get a week off school – so we can come too, which is good because I might want your advice on a couple of things."

"What things?"

"I'm not sure yet," Hayden answered cryptically. "Probably clothes and music and stuff like that. I'm – er – not sure I like all of the stuff Mum and Dad drill into us."

"Really?" Oscar asked interestedly, quite surprised by this news. "Well in that case I'd love to help you out."

"Well, yeah – any opportunity to prove your sister wrong. I'm not that stuffy."

"Was she very rude when she answered the phone?"

"No more than usual."

Jessica sat on the sofa and listened grudgingly to Oscar's side of the conversation, which seemed to her entirely pointless. She really resented the three young Wallances for thinking that they had any claim to her brother. They barely even knew him!

The doorbell rang. Oscar, who was comparing London and New York's pigeon populations with Hayden, glanced through the sitting room doorway at Jessica. He didn't mean to seem pushy, but she took the opportunity to shoot him a facetious glare as she went to answer the door. She knew it must be the grandparents.

Well, she was almost right – only it wasn't so much grandparents as a grandparent: Peter's father Charlie Venkman, come unexpectedly and laden with gifts. Jessica instantly reverted to her five-year-old self and squealed delightedly as she flung her arms around her grandfather.

"It's nice to see you too, Jessie," Charlie smiled warmly. "How's my favourite granddaughter?"

"Great. Come in. I'll go and shake Dad out of bed."

Jessica pulled Charlie into the hallway and then ran upstairs. Charlie kicked off his shoes and dumped his bags on the floor, smiling warmly at his step-grandson. Oscar, still on the phone, gave a wave and a smile just as Dana wandered in from the kitchen.

"Charlie!" she exclaimed, going to embrace him once she was over her surprise. "Hi. Well I was surprised – my parents don't usually get that kind of a reaction from Jess."

"Oh no," flinched Charlie. "You're not expecting them, are you?"

"I gotta go, Hayd," Oscar said into the phone. "We've got relatives arriving. Have a good Christmas. We'll do presents when you visit, ok? …Yeah. Bye." He hung up and turned his attention to Charlie, giving him the manliest hug he could. "Hey. You're a nice surprise."

"And I've got plenty more to come," answered Charlie. "I love Christmas! It's a great excuse for giving you kids presents."

"You spoil them, Charlie," said Dana, trying to sound stern, just as the doorbell rang again. "Ah – that'll be them. I suppose I have to answer it."

"Well they're your parents," reasoned Oscar.

They're not that bad, are they? thought Dana, as she pulled open the front door with an enthusiastic, "Hi Mom! Hi Dad!"

Gerald Barrett embraced his daughter tightly while his wife Valerie tut-tutted disapprovingly at Charlie's Christmas gifts strewn all over the hallway. Dana knew that her mother was the kids' main objection to their grandparents' visits; it was just Gerald's bad luck that he happened to come as part of the deal.

"Oh, it's you," were the first words Val Barrett uttered, looking disapprovingly at Charlie. Then she switched on a stiff smile for her grandson and said, "Hello Oscar. You look… nice."

The corners of Oscar's mouth twitched as he suppressed laughter. He had worn the ripped t-shirt and vastly oversized black jeans especially for his grandmother.

"She's right, kid – you're looking pretty good," Charlie remarked, winking at him. "Still got the ponytail?"

"Oh yes," grinned Oscar, turning round to display to his much prided sleek black hair.

"I comfort myself that someday you won't want to look like a hoodlum," Val sighed despairingly.

"Aw Grandma – lighten up!" goaded Oscar. "The ponytail is going nowhere, ok? Girls really dig it."

"Girls – of course!" exclaimed Charlie. "I hear that you've finally found yourself a keeper, Oscar. I'm dying to meet her."

"Really?" Val asked sharply, fixing an intense stare on her grandson. "You have a girlfriend, Oscar?"

"Um…"

Jessica and Peter momentarily saved the situation by appearing at the top of the stairs, Jessica charging down them in her usual raucous manner. She quickly caught sight of Gerald and Val and said with forced enthusiasm, as she skidded to a halt in the carpeted hallway, "Oh, hi, it's you!"

Jessica hugged Gerald, and then Val kissed the air on either side of her face while Charlie gave his granddaughter such a look that she suddenly had to suppress a fit of giggles. She had spotted the disapproving glance that she had received from her grandmother – this for her unsubtle mannerisms, dishevelled hair and tatty clothes. Once or twice Dana had quietly wished that Jessica might be a little more ladylike than she was, while Val had constantly and explicitly craved it. She firmly believed that girls should be neat, refined, smartly dressed and well mannered.

"So anyway, Oscar." Val turned that unyielding gaze back towards her grandson. "Tell us about this young lady of yours. We must meet her."

"Oh yeah, that could be pretty funny," piped up Jessica, earning another one of those you-can't-really-be-my-grandchild looks.

"You won't like her," Oscar told his grandmother, in resigned tones.

"Really?" Val asked suspiciously. "Well, I can quite believe it. It's not that dreadful Ella girl you're friendly with, is it?"

"No," Oscar answered evenly. "Her name is Amy, she's fourteen; she's nice, very clever and reads a lot; she's a forward-thinking Christian, always trying new things, enthusiastic, loves music – she's a great girl."

"She sounds it," Val agreed. "What on earth makes you think we won't like her?" The "we" may have included her noiseless husband, or perhaps it was the Royal We.

"She's black," Oscar stated simply.

This announcement resulted in a stunned silence. Oscar's immediate family already knew, of course, and the news didn't bother Charlie. However he was surprised that Oscar should publicly challenge his grandmother's scruples like this. All eyes fell expectantly upon Val, who was staring unblinkingly at her grandson, nothing in her manner betraying her feelings. Then at last she said evenly, "Why on earth should that matter to me?"

"You mean it doesn't?" asked Oscar, in challenging tones.

"Of course not."

"Good." He wasn't convinced, but there seemed little point in pursuing the matter further. Oscar didn't care much for his grandmother's opinions as long as she kept them to herself.

x x x

Peter would rather have been at the firehouse than entertaining his parents-in-law at home, but now he had to stay not only to lend the kids moral support but for his father as well. So Winston covered the Peter/Kylie shift that morning, and was surprised when Charlene asked to go with him again.

"There's some reading I want to do," she told him.

"What reading?"

"I'm not sure yet. And anyway, it's for Jess."

Winston was surprised that his daughter and Peter's seemed to have bonded so quickly after one dinner, besides which he didn't see why Jessica couldn't do her own reading – whatever it was. But he wasn't going to pry. There was no harm in it.

"Is she trying to make us miss Kylie less?" Garrett asked Winston, when he found himself alone with the two Zeddemores and Charlene had been working her way through the books piled up beside her on the sofa for almost an hour.

"Does Kylie read that kinda stuff?" Winston asked guardedly.

"Sure," shrugged Garrett, "but I don't think it's the books that make her the way she is if that's what you're worried about."

"Hey Charlene!" Winston called suddenly. "What are you reading?"

"I'm reading about the moon," his daughter replied enthusiastically. "It's really interesting. Did you know that in some cultures the fertility gods also represent the moon?"

"Do they?" asked Winston.

"Yes. I never realised how closely this stuff was all connected."

"You're… um… not thinking of converting, are you?"

"No," scoffed Charlene. "Come on Dad, it's just a few books. I just wondered if I could help figure out what's happening with the stupid moon. Hasn't anyone else noticed it's been getting bigger?"

"We all have," Garrett told her. "You don't need to do that, Charlene. Egon's in his lab perusing his star charts as we speak."

"Well good," was Charlene's answer to that. "Many hands make light work and all that. I wondered if it has anything to do with…"

"What?" prompted Winston.

"Nothing."

"Anyway, I thought you said this was for Jess."

"Well I might have a special reason to believe that Jess and the moon are – I don't know – like cosmically linked or something. Look – Dad – if you must know, it's a woman problem, ok?"

"Oh. Right. Sorry. I'll shut up."

"Hey." Eduardo suddenly appeared in the doorway looking flustered. "Anybody seen Chita – or failing that her sneakers?"

"Last time I saw Conchita she and Slimer were taking a lesson in electronics from the twins," reported Winston (referring of course to Egon and Janine's impetuous young children). "And one of the sneakers is under the coffee table."

"One of them?" exclaimed Eduardo, looking mortified as he strode over to the coffee table to retrieve the miniature shoe. "So this is why Kylie always ties the laces together. Why didn't I do that? Ha – imagine if I had Rosie as well."

"And for more than one day," Garrett added, with a dry smile. "Will we be seeing Kylie and Rose today?"

"Ky'll probably want to go straight home," Eduardo deduced. Then he disappeared from the room shouting, "CHITA! Come on, help me look – Mommy doesn't wanna come back to find you with frostbite on one foot!"

"Better than both feet," Charlene muttered to herself, and she resumed her reading.

x x x

After Kylie's train drew in and she had alighted with Rose, she and Eduardo swapped kids on the platform. Kylie crouched hugging and kissing Conchita for fully two minutes before she noticed the cold, and Rose was getting very vocal by this time. So they walked through the grimy, trodden-down snow of the station platform and Kylie made a show of rubbing warmth into Conchita's tiny hands to aid Eduardo in his quest to hail a taxi.

It seemed like an age to Kylie before they got home. She was grateful to walk into her own sitting room, which was heated and carpeted and filled with the toys and discarded ironing that made it home. It was a long time before Eduardo would put Rose down, and for even longer Conchita refused to let her mother out of her sight. This made Kylie feel slightly guilty, and at one point she said earnestly to her older daughter, "Hey – you know that if I go anywhere I'll always come back, right?"

"Of course," Conchita answered, understandably confused by the question.

"Good." Kylie hugged her again, and then caught sight of the wall clock above them. "Ooh – bath time!" she exclaimed enthusiastically.

Bath time was always one of those nice family-bonding moments, and Kylie didn't look forward to the day when the girls would grow out of it. Generally she and Eduardo would kneel at the side of the bath, one of them entertaining Conchita with plastic ships and ducks and the like while the other sponged down Rose. Obviously it wasn't something that could go on forever – but frankly what is?

"It is so good to be home," Kylie told Eduardo, when she had tucked Conchita into bed and kissed her goodnight.

"It was only a day and a night," Eduardo pointed out. He was rocking Rose on his shoulder while she drifted off to sleep with excruciating slowness.

"It felt like a lot longer."

"Yeah – for us too."

Yawning, Kylie sat down on the sofa and waited for Eduardo to come and join her. At last he laid Rose down in the cot, spared her an awed did-I-really-do-that look and then went to Kylie, asking as he sat down, "Is Steve really ok now?"

"Yeah, he's fine," Kylie answered, yawning again.

"But he had a heart attack."

"It was only a little heart attack."

"You're tired," Eduardo observed.

"A little," Kylie agreed, leaning her head on his shoulder. "I need to tell you about Jill. Apparently she told my dad that she wants them to get back together."

"Jesus. She doesn't, does she?"

"Of course not. She's just decided that it's time to make a claim on me and my kids. I saw her, you know. I stayed at Dad's apartment and she came to the door."

"Did you talk to her?" asked Eduardo.

"Well I had to talk to her a bit," shrugged Kylie. "I basically just told her to piss off. I'm not going to forgive her after all this time. God, it's all such a mess!" she sighed despairingly. "I really hope Conchita and Rose never hate me that much."

"Why on earth would they?"

"I don't know. I'm still convinced I'm going to slip up somewhere."

"They love you," Eduardo insisted. "If you're not planning to walk out of their lives then you're a better mom than Jill."

"Well it's pretty scary," Kylie told him. "The women in my family are terrible at this. Look at Matt – he's nineteen and he's only just starting to get along with his mom. And my grandmother tried so hard with Maddy and Jill – look how they turned out."

"Rosie and Chita nothing like Jill. They're like you: smart, feisty and beautiful," Eduardo said reassuringly, and he dropped a kiss onto the top of her head.

"Ha," Kylie laughed dryly. "Jill's smart and feisty. When I was little I used to think she was pretty, but since she left she's looked uglier every time I've seen her." She paused. "I just don't understand why she left me in the first place."

"There's something wrong with her," was Eduardo's somewhat rash diagnosis. "If she can't love her own daughter then there's gotta be something missing. She was crazy to leave you. I'm never gonna do that."

"You might," murmured Kylie.

"I won't!"

"Oh come on – we can't possibly know what'll happen in the future. But you know that right now I can't ever imagine wanting to leave you. I love you." She sat up and kissed him deeply. "Come on, let's go to bed. I'm not that tired."

x x x

Charlene called Jessica at eight thirty that evening to ask urgently, "Have you seen the moon tonight?"

"Not especially," shrugged Jessica.

"Well look out the window," ordered Charlene. Then she added firmly, "Now."

With a small shrug of resignation, Jessica obediently twisted her neck to look through the sitting room doorway so that she could see the window in there. The lights were switched off, everyone having retired upstairs (except for Oscar, who was at somebody else's Christmas party), but the entire sitting room was illuminated in a brilliant silver light.

"Yeah, that is something," Jessica had to agree.

"So… are you ok?"

"Yeah, pretty much. Shouldn't I be?"

"How's the… the, uh… the… the thing?"

"It's a complete nightmare. But it has got absolutely nothing to do with the moon."

"Ah, that's where you're wrong!" Charlene proclaimed triumphantly. "Most cultures throughout the ages agree that it's no coincidence that women… you know… once with every cycle of the moon. Everybody agrees that the moon is female, you know – and some people even believe that it's a goddess, like in Hinduism the Moon Goddess is the sister of the Sun God."

"The word you were looking for is 'menstruate'," Jessica returned dryly. "And anyway, I thought you were Catholic."

"Right, because Catholics are pre-programmed not to understand information about other faiths," Charlene retorted sarcastically.

"Well… you don't actually believe it, do you?" asked Jessica.

"I don't know. But we all know there's more weird stuff out there than we can ever hope to understand. And there must be some reason that the moon's behaving like that. Dr. Spengler thinks so too – he's been out tracking werewolves and trying to pacify water spirits or something."

Outside the wind had been gradually gathering momentum, and now it almost seemed to rattle the walls. On the first flash of lightning Dana called urgently down the stairs, "Jess, hang up!"

"Um… look, I have to go," Jessica told Charlene. "It's sweet of you to worry, but I really don't think this is anything to do with me."

"Well I know it's been getting you down. I just wanted to – you know – make sure you were ok."

"Thanks buddy. I appreciate it."

"JESSICA!" yelled Dana.

"Bye," Jessica said quickly, and she hung up.

x x x

Kylie felt strange when she woke up the next morning: groggy, cold and a little sick. She was momentarily aware of a bright silver light that seemed to glow behind her eyes, but this soon dimmed and she blinked rapidly, trying to bring into focus the blurred scene surrounding her. Then she caught sight of Eduardo sleeping beside her, and the feeling of coldness was replaced with an uncomfortable warmth. He turned over and reached an arm out towards her, but Kylie felt compelled to push it away and climb out of bed.

She pulled on a thick sweater and then staggered to the bathroom. When she returned a few moments later Eduardo was sitting up in bed, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He looked up at Kylie, and was surprised to see her scowling. Somehow she just didn't feel like smiling that morning.

"Are you ok?" Eduardo asked anxiously.

Kylie couldn't find the energy to answer. She just yawned widely and crawled back into bed, stealing Eduardo's half of the sheets and shrouding her entire body in them, trying to generate enough warmth to go back to sleep.

"Kylie?"

"What?"

"What's the matter with you?"

She felt his fingers touch her cheek, but she flicked them away with a few mumbled words of protest. Eduardo sat there for a moment, stunned – until he realised that it was the middle of December and he was really going to have to put some clothes on.

Kylie instinctively shrank further into the sheets when she heard a familiar screaming sound. It seemed so much louder than usual, and it made her head seem to pound. Hardly ten seconds had passed before she could bear it no longer. Kylie sat up abruptly and yelled at Eduardo, "Can't you deal with that?"

Eduardo shot her a look of shocked surprise, and then made his way through to the sitting room at the same time as he was pulling a t-shirt over his head. Moments later Kylie heard his voice muffled in the next room as he attempted to comfort his younger daughter. Rose was no longer screaming quite so shrilly, but she was grizzling and the sound still rang horribly in Kylie's ears. Eduardo's soothing tones, of which she couldn't even hear the words, were really starting to irritate her.

She rolled over and let out a deep sigh when the whimpering sound came closer. Eduardo appeared in the doorway jigging Rose on his hip, though Kylie couldn't see them because she still didn't open her eyes.

"Ky," ventured Eduardo. "I think she wants you."

"She wants my breasts, you mean," snapped Kylie. "I gave birth to that baby and she's been sucking me dry ever since. Can't you do something for a change?"

Eduardo was absolutely horrified. He just stared at Kylie for a moment, and then suddenly Rose let out a piercing squeal.

"Oh for God's sake – get her out of here!" yelled Kylie.

Eduardo held Rose closer to him, making shushing noises in her ear, and backed hastily from the room. Needless to say this was not like Kylie. Could the stress encountered on her time away and the long journey home really have upset her this much? It was hard to believe, but there must be some reason for her strange behaviour.

While Eduardo dressed the kids and fed them and the cat and fobbed Conchita off with, "Mommy's very tired," Kylie tried vainly to go back to sleep. Every sound echoed loudly in her ears: the kettle boiling, the tin opener on the cat food, the voices of Eduardo and Conchita… that damn baby!

Some minutes later Eduardo returned to the bedroom doorway and announced, in deadpan tones, "We're leaving."

"Uh," grunted Kylie.

"We'll see you later, then."

"Oh just go."

"Fine," and he went, taking both of his daughters with him.

x x x

Driving through the snow to the firehouse, Peter felt like he was running away from school. It felt good – exactly as it had done forty years ago: he was escaping, breaking the rules to have a good time… but he was going to be in so much trouble later. Don't think about that, Peter. Put some music on…

When he flicked the switch on the radio, it was not music that filled his ears but a local news report. Apparently houses within a mile of the coast had been flooded that night – not too severely, but the floors downstairs were still damp and the homeowners were currently receiving their borrowed dehumidifiers free of charge. It had to be the stupid moon again: its light had had no trouble penetrating the curtains in Peter's bedroom last night. He decided to enquire after Egon's progress when he arrived at the firehouse, and was faintly surprised to find that Charlene Zeddemore had beaten him to it. Perhaps Jessica hadn't been all that rash in calling the poor girl "obsessed".

"I've been researching the deities of the moon from various cultures," Egon was telling her patiently, apparently heedless of the baby wailing piteously on the opposite side of the room. "The problem is almost certainly one of them."

"One of them?" echoed Charlene. "Don't waste your time with that. It's all the same one – different cultures just give them different names."

"Oh – says you," Winston's voice wafted from the other side of the room, shouting over Rose Rivera's screams.

Peter glanced across the room to where Eduardo was vainly trying to comfort Rose, wearing an expression of sheer despair. The baby's fat little fists were bunched at her father's chest, tugging at his t-shirt. Roland was there too, doing his best to help with a cute duck toy in one hand and a milk-filled baby bottle in the other, but to no avail. Egon and Winston were staying well away from it. Conchita was nowhere to be seen, and neither was Kylie. Peter supposed that they must be together somewhere.

"Well don't you think so too?" Charlene demanded of her father. "I mean – we go to church every Sunday and we worship this one and only God that Christians believe in – and yet you would seem to know perfectly well that there are other gods out there."

"Maybe, but I don't pray to them," argued Winston. "And anyway, it doesn't really matter. Any worship is good worship. What's brought all of this on anyway?"

"All teenagers do it," reasoned Peter. "Roland's family is Catholic, but AJ was telling us the other day about how she decided to be confirmed into the Protestant faith. Ooh – speak of the Devil. Hi."

"Hi," Amy Jackson smiled pleasantly. She was leading Conchita into the room by the hand, and they stopped by Eduardo and his poor miserable baby. "Ok, we built three snowmen and had a snowball fight and now we're cold. Do you think it would be ok if we hung out here for a while?"

"Of course," Eduardo smiled weakly. "You don't have to do this, you know. You can go home if you want to."

"That's ok, I love playing with Chita," Amy reassured him. "Haven't you managed to calm her down yet?"

"I don't understand it," Eduardo said despairingly. "She's never gone this crazy before. It's not like it's the first time Kylie hasn't been around – she'll always drink from a bottle if she has to."

"I don't want to worry you," Roland ventured timidly, "but maybe she's sick."

"I was thinking the same thing," Egon put in, crossing the room to join them. "Would you like me to look her over?"

"Yes please," Eduardo sighed gratefully.

When Rose changed hands she shrieked loudly, and then started tugging at Egon's chest just as she had been doing to Eduardo. Egon flinched when she caught a handful of flesh and tried to pull it towards her mouth. He held the baby slightly away from him while he carried her to the sofa, and then started doing the most thorough examination he could without instruments.

"Hey AJ!" Charlene suddenly called. "Dr. Venkman says your family's Catholic but you're not."

"Well that's true," Amy had to agree.

"How come?" Charlene wanted to know.

"I just didn't like the way they had us worship at the church Mom and Dad took us to," explained Amy. "Too strict. And besides, our priest would have us believe that God doesn't want us to have any fun. I don't want to believe that – I think God is hip. And I think he moves with the times – like the whole no-woman-clergies thing was a big problem for me. My priest's a woman," she added. "She's pretty cool. You'd like her."

"Do you want me to stop her?" Roland asked Winston.

"No, it's fine," Winston shrugged dismissively. "It sounds pretty sensible actually."

"Ah – that sounds like my honey," Amy suddenly announced, when she heard a familiar voice chatting to Janine on the floor below.

"Oh no," groaned Peter, instinctively looking around for somewhere to hide.

"She seems perfectly normal," Egon told Eduardo, handing Rose back to him. The baby was still grumbling, but much more quietly now. "I honestly believe that the only reason she's stopped crying is because she's tired herself out. But I think we all know what she wants."

"Where is Kylie anyway?" Peter asked. Then as Oscar walked into the room he said gloomily, "Oh. Hi."

"You have to come home," Oscar told his stepfather sternly.

"No I can't – I'm much too busy," Peter objected. "Look. I'm working."

"Hey babe." Oscar put his arms around Amy's shoulders and kissed her on the cheek. Then to Peter he said, "Oh yeah? Doing what?"

"Um… we're discussing the – uh – possible reasons that the moon is so damn big at the moment."

"We stopped talking about that ages ago," argued Charlene. "We're talking about God now."

"Ooh – that reminds me," piped up Amy. "Are you coming to this midnight carol service with me or not?"

"Um…" was the only reply Oscar could come up with.

"Nobody will care that you're agnostic, I promise," Amy assured him. "To be perfectly honest with you I'm not even sure if I'm right to believe in God."

"Really?" Oscar asked, surprised.

"Really. But the way I see it Jesus was a real person, and he inspired a lot of the ideas that help me organise my life. And I know you don't do that, but you are using the guy's birthday as an excuse to have a party – I think the least you could do is sing him a couple of songs. He'd like that – you're a great singer."

"Bingo, you've talked him round," Peter smiled dryly.

"All right – if it means that much to you I'll go," Oscar relented. "Anyway, stop distracting me. Dad, we have to leave now."

"Can't we ditch 'em and go to the movies?" begged Peter.

"No," Oscar was adamant. "Grandpa Charlie bailed too. We can't leave Jess alone with them."

"Well why didn't you bring her with you?"

"I wanted to, but Mom wouldn't let her go. I suppose she knew we wouldn't go back. Come on, Dad – Jess needs us. When she got up this morning Grandma threatened to iron her hair!"

"You're kidding!"

"No I'm not. She also threatened to cut my ponytail off – she snipped the scissors and everything."

"I knew she was crazy," Peter intoned darkly. "All right, you win. I can't leave my wife and daughter alone with a madwoman."

"Oh thank God, she's asleep!" Eduardo suddenly said loudly, taking everyone by surprise. "This is too weird."

"It's the moon," Charlene cut in. "I'll bet you anything. Loads of cultures link it closely to motherhood – it's the whole menstruating-with-the-moon thing."

"Charlene!" exclaimed Winston.

"What – I can't talk about that? Why not?" his daughter demanded. "It really shouldn't be the taboo that it is, you know. It happens to all women and it's completely natural, but when I was reading about the moon I found all this stuff about how people used to freak out about it – like menstruating women were considered impure, and some people even believed they turned the milk sour. Which is stupid," she finished pointedly.

"You're right," agreed Amy. "But in some cases you can see why they think that. The Bible would have us believe it's because Eve ate the apple."

"Ok Oscar, time to go," Peter said hastily, making for the stairs. "Bye, everyone! I hope Rose cheers up."

"So do I," Eduardo answered with feeling.

"Typical men," muttered Charlene, watching Peter and Oscar's retreating forms. "Anyway – Egon – I hope you're taking some notice of my theory. Think about it: the moon appears bigger and brighter and then the morning after the really big storm a baby flips her lid in the absence of her mother's breasts."

Eduardo cut a glance at Conchita. Amy was taking her into the kitchen with the intention of making milkshakes, so he said in a low voice, "Kylie was acting really strange this morning – like she didn't care."

"About what?" asked Roland.

"About anything. I really think there's something wrong with her."

"It's the moon!" Charlene was adamant. "And personally I think it's no coincidence that this started on the same night Jessica – oh shut up, Charlene!" and the speech came to a very abrupt end.

"Will Kylie be here later?" asked Winston, apparently feeling it his duty to cover his daughter's faux pas – even though he wasn't sure quite what that was. "Maybe if she's acting that weird she could use a PKE scan."

"I actually think she could," Eduardo agreed. "I've got absolutely no idea if she'll be here later. I don't know anything anymore – it's all too weird. Oh God, I've just realised!" he exclaimed. "We're supposed to be meeting a couple of her relatives this afternoon!"

"Well Peter's left so I'll say it," Winston smiled dryly. "That could very well be what's getting her down."

Eduardo shook his head. "I don't think so. She invited them – I wonder if she's remembered they're arriving today. I'd call home but I'm afraid she'd yell at me."

"It's the moon," Charlene muttered quietly.

x x x

On a day like this, expecting a three year old and her baby sister to wait around on a station platform would be bordering on child abuse – so Eduardo left them at the firehouse and found himself waiting alone in a bitterly cold wind for Kylie's aunt and cousin. He was sipping coffee from a polystyrene cup, purchased primarily to warm his hands. He wished Kylie was with him; waiting at stations in the bleak midwinter is so much more bearable when you have somebody to huddle with.

At last the appropriate train pulled into the platform and several passengers alighted. Maddy and Matt were difficult to spot among the rabble, short and skinny as they were. But finally Eduardo saw them: Maddy a middle-aged woman of slight build with long, wavy auburn hair and big green eyes; Matt a younger male version of his mother with his red hair cut short and arranged in tiny vertical spikes. Eduardo managed to catch his eye, and Matt led Maddy towards him. She didn't have a good memory for faces at the best of times, and she had only met Eduardo once.

"Hi. Where are the lovely ladies?" asked Matt, who could be charming even to people who weren't there.

"I left the short people in the warm," Eduardo explained. "And Kylie… is… I don't know."

"Trouble in paradise?" Maddy smiled dryly.

"Mom!" snapped Matt. Then he turned back to Eduardo and asked anxiously, "Is something wrong?"

"I don't know," Eduardo sighed despairingly. "We'd better go get the girls and take them home. Hopefully Kylie will have cheered up."

"I told you something bad would happen if I came," Maddy said accusingly to her son. "Kylie and I just can't do Christmas together. It's always a catastrophe!"

"You've only just arrived," Eduardo pointed out. "It started first thing this morning. I haven't even seen her since then – and she was probably tired. Maybe whatever it was has blown over."

This was wishful thinking. They got a cab and picked up Conchita and Rose on the way to the apartment, where they found Kylie sitting in front of the TV in a towelling robe and steadily working her way the bottle of wine they kept for emergencies.

"What are you…?" Eduardo began incredulously.

"Oh no – you're here," Kylie muttered bitterly, when she caught sight of Maddy and Matt. "I'd forgotten you were coming."

"Are you ok, Kylie?" Matt asked guardedly.

"Sure – as ok as anyone can be in a rat trap like this," snapped Kylie. "Don't look at me like that, Conchita – it's rude to stare."

There was a stunned silence. Only Maddy seemed unfazed. Then Matt craned his neck to get somewhere near Eduardo's ear (it was a long way up) and murmured, "Do you want me to take the kids out of here?"

"Yes please." Eduardo handed him Rose and twenty dollars and said, "Chita – Matt's going to take you out somewhere. Where do you wanna go?"

"Um… Pizza Hut?" Conchita suggested, very distracted, still staring bemusedly at her drastically changed mother.

"You got it," Matt smiled brightly, taking Conchita's hand and opening the door with his elbow. "See you later, everyone!"

"That was so obviously fake," Kylie snorted derisively, when the door clicked shut behind her cousin. "Still, the kids probably fell for it."

"What's the matter with you?" Eduardo demanded sharply.

"Oh – lay off, will you?" snapped Kylie, turning to glare at him over the back of the sofa. "I'm just trying to relax for a change – I never get a chance to enjoy myself anymore. Do you have any idea how frustrating it is being stuck here all day looking after your daughters?"

"But you're not stuck here all day looking after my – our daughters!" Eduardo argued.

"I suppose now you're going to tell me Beth does all the work," Kylie said nastily. "Why do you always take her side over mine? I've given up so much for you and you can't even show me a little bit of support!"

"What are you talking about? I never even mentioned Beth! Kylie, you've gone completely crazy!"

"I will go completely crazy soon if I have to go on like this!" Kylie suddenly rose to her feet. "I'll tell you, Eduardo – sometimes I seriously think about packing all of this in! I just can't put up with you anymore!" Then she suddenly calmed down and announced shortly, "I'm going out."

Eduardo watched, amazed, as she switched off the TV and stormed into the bedroom. Then he became aware of Maddy's eyes fixed knowingly on him. He turned to look at her; she was obviously itching to say something. At last she did: "Well."

"Well what?" Eduardo asked shortly.

"Well," Maddy said again. "They say we all turn into our mothers eventually."

"What d'you mean?" demanded Eduardo.

"I think," Maddy went on slowly, "almost without exception, everything Kylie just said to you Jill said to Steve at some point over the course of their marriage at least once. And most of them while I was there – they always saved their most spectacular rows for my visits."

"You don't seem surprised," remarked Eduardo.

"Well," shrugged Maddy, "Matthew seems to think you guys are doing ok, but I know my sister and that had Jill written all over it."

"Well you obviously don't know Kylie," Eduardo deadpanned. "If she's behaving anything like her mother, there must be more to it than meets the eye."

As he said this Kylie swept back into the room, now wearing boots and a full-length coat, and made for the front door. Eduardo made a move to stop her, only to find himself confronted with a closed door. He opened it, marched down the corridor after Kylie and grabbed her arm.

"Let go of me!" she yelled.

"Will you keep your voice down?" hissed Eduardo. "People will think I'm kidnapping you."

"You are kidnapping me! You've no right to stop me leaving if I want to! Let go!"

"I'm taking you to the firehouse."

"No you are not!"

"There's something wrong with you," Eduardo insisted. "This isn't you."

"Ha – shows how well you know me," retorted Kylie. "Now take your hands off me!"

"Where will you go?"

"That's nothing to do with you!"

"You wouldn't leave us at Christmas, would you – while the kids are at Pizza Hut?"

"I could," Kylie muttered grudgingly. "It's no worse than what my mother did to me. She left when I was at school and…" she tailed off.

"Yeah," Eduardo fairly spat. "It never did you any harm. Look at you now."

"Let me go."

"You're coming with me," Eduardo insisted, and he began leading her forcibly towards the elevator.

x x x

Amy Jackson had gone home in the same minute that Eduardo disappeared with Conchita and Rose. Egon was in his lab, getting tantalisingly close to solving the Great Moon Mystery, but sadly with too little information to pin down anything very specific. Winston had taken Charlene out for a late lunch; all this and the Spengler twins' disappearance to the basement with Slimer meant that only Garrett, Roland and Janine were present to witness Eduardo and Kylie's spectacular entrance.

"Get off me, you freak!" yelled Kylie, finally shaking off Eduardo's arm about ten yards away from Janine's desk, attracting the attention of its occupant. "So now what are you gonna do, huh?"

"I just want you to take a PKE scan," Eduardo told her calmly.

"Why should I?" demanded Kylie, her raised voice bringing Roland and then Garrett into the room. "I don't have to do what you tell me! What century are you living in, you chauvinistic asshole?"

"Wow," muttered Garrett – the only one of the company not rendered speechless.

"My problem isn't ghosts and demons – it's you!" Kylie went on loudly. "That's it – I can't take any more. I'm leaving."

"WHAT?" screeched Eduardo, grabbing her elbow as she turned to go. "What do you mean 'leaving'?"

"I'm leaving you," spat Kylie. "At Christmas – while the kids are at Pizza Hut. They'll get over it."

"But… but… you can't!" Eduardo spluttered in panic. "You love me!"

"Ha! Who says?"

"You said so last night!"

"I was tired last night," retorted Kylie. "And besides, I had to say something to shut you up. You were going on and on about all your forever bullshit, but we both know it's just not true."

"Why?" demanded Eduardo. "Because you're leaving?"

"Yes!"

"But why?"

"Because I've had enough!" yelled Kylie. "I don't love you and I'm sick of running around after your children and I am not prepared to spend another night like last night pretending to enjoy having your clammy hands all over me!"

"That was your idea!" Eduardo cried desperately.

"Yeah, well – it shut you up anyway," snapped Kylie. "Now let me go," and she shook herself free of his clutching fingers.

There was an awkward silence in the two minutes after Kylie left. Eduardo just stared at where she had been standing moments before. Garrett, Roland and Janine didn't know where to look or what to say. Finally Roland said the most futile thing possible: "Are you ok?"

"No I'm not ok!" screeched Eduardo, turning sharply to face them. "She's left me!"

"And the kids are at Pizza Hut?" Janine asked incredulously. "Wow – that's harsh."

"Ok, hold up a second," Garrett cut in. "I don't understand. Why would Kylie suddenly leave you? That didn't sound like her at all – something must be wrong."

"Too bad you didn't get a chance to do that PKE scan," added Janine.

"What am I going to do now?" Eduardo almost wept.

"Well don't panic," Roland said soothingly. "We can always track her down. We have special equipment for that kind of stuff."

"This is awful," Eduardo sighed despairingly. "And why in God's name did I leave Rose with Matt? I should have made Kylie feed her – she's been starving herself since this morning."

"You mean she still hasn't eaten anything?" Roland asked incredulously, his eyes widening. "Well you need to find her and get something inside her!"

"Matt may have managed to feed her," Garrett suggested hopefully. "She seemed ok after you left for the station. Except…"

"Except?" prompted Eduardo.

"Well… she wouldn't eat that revolting powdered apple goo AJ tried to give her."

"Oh that's it – I'm going to Pizza Hut."

There was another awkward silence after Eduardo had left. This time Garrett was the one to break it: "So does anybody have any idea what's happening?"

"Charlene would say it's the moon," Roland smiled dryly.

"Well there's no reason to assume it isn't the moon," Janine pointed out. "I mean come on – what else could it be? We all know that wasn't Kylie. She'd never leave her kids – especially not while they're at Pizza Hut. I'll go check on Egon's progress. Surely he's come up with something by now."

x x x

The trip to Pizza Hut started out well. Matt's cute smile, childish big eyes and the two adorable children he had with him instantly attracted the attention of a waitress in her twenties. The first thing Matt did was to hand the waitress a baby bottle full of milk and ask her to warm it up. They didn't even have too long to wait for their pizza – it was turning out to be a pretty good trip.

Then the bottle of milk came back to them, reliably tested on the wrist of one of the managerial staff who had small children. Smiling his thanks, Matt took Rose from the high chair kindly provided by Pizza Hut and onto his lap. She flatly refused to open her mouth. When he nudged her lips with the teat of the bottle she let out a squeal of protest, and then started to snivel. Matt hastily put the bottle down on the table and asked Conchita, of all people, "So now what do I do?"

"She's been doing that all day," Conchita informed him, steadily working her way through a hefty slice of pizza.

"Really?" asked Matt. "You mean she hasn't eaten all day?"

Conchita shook her head.

"But it's like two o'clock in the afternoon! She must be starving! What are you doing to yourself, huh?" he asked Rose, looking searchingly into her big brown eyes.

"Why don't we take her to Mommy?" suggested Conchita. "She'll feed her."

"Well we can try," Matt sighed despondently. "Right after we've gotten through this pizza. Oh sh-… Chita – stay here!"

Conchita watched, startled, as Matt bundled Rose back into the high chair and sprinted towards the door, hurriedly asking his waitress friend to "keep an eye on them" as he passed her. Conchita then turned towards the window and saw Matt skidding through the snow until he came to a halt beside a woman that looked extraordinarily like his mother. It might even be her. Conchita strained her eyes, trying to make the woman out.

"No, please, don't do this to me!" Matt begged through chattering teeth, silently cursing himself for leaving his jacket behind. "Kylie'd kill me! And anyway, how did you know we were here?"

"Maddy told me," Jill Griffin answered coolly.

"Maddy told you? You mean you went to the apartment?"

"Yes."

"But you don't know where they live!"

"That's where you're wrong," retorted Jill, though she offered no explanation. She didn't want to betray her own mother, who was the source of her information. "So how are you, Matthew? I haven't seen you since you were little. Well – I suppose technically I saw you outside Conchita's preschool in September…"

"Yeah, I saw you too," Matt returned dryly. "That was a really shitty thing to do, you know. Why are you still here? Kylie isn't going to let you see them."

"She can't stop me," retorted Jill. "I can see them now."

"Oh – don't!" exclaimed Matt, stepping into Jill's view of the Pizza Hut. "Kylie will go mad. Or she would if she hadn't already…"

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Do you know where she is?" asked Jill. "I asked Maddy – she told me to come here and ask you."

"I didn't know you and Mom were talking."

"Well I think she only said it to get rid of me. So?"

"So what?" asked Matt.

"Do you know where she is?"

Matt shook his head.

"Damn," muttered Jill. "Oh well – she can't be far away."

Then quite suddenly something seemed to attract her attention. She pulled the glove from her left hand and looked down at a ring she wore on her middle finger. The stone in it was glowing a soft silver colour, smoke spiralling slowly round it… it looked to Matt distinctly otherworldly… that couldn't be a coincidence.

"Jill," he said sternly. "What exactly have you been doing?"

"I have to go."

"What? Why?"

"Well it was nice to see you darling," Jill smiled falsely, beginning to back away. "Maybe next time we can talk longer. Bye!"

"Talk?" queried Matt. "Jill, we didn't – where are you going?"

He got no answer, and a moment later she had disappeared round a corner. Utterly baffled, Matt turned back to face the Pizza Hut. The waitress that had seemed so taken with his little group was rocking the screaming Rose on her arm, looking lost and helpless. And Eduardo was walking through the door. Shit.

"What the hell are you playing at?" Eduardo demanded angrily, when Matt skidded in through the door.

"It's ok," Matt said defensively, making a beeline for his jacket. "I was only just on the street outside. Jill was there."

"Oh no," groaned Eduardo, taking Rose from the waitress. "What's the matter with you, Rosie? Have you eaten anything yet?"

"She wouldn't take that milk," reported Matt. "And Jill was asking for Kylie and she had a ring that's straight out of 'Buffy' and it started glowing and she had to run off."

"You think she's responsible?" Eduardo asked incredulously. "Well… I suppose it's as likely an explanation as any." Then he pulled Matt away from the table and murmured quietly, so that Conchita couldn't hear, "Kylie's left."

"Left?" echoed Matt. "What do you mean?"

"She said she was leaving me. And then she went. And now I don't know what to do!"

"It'd probably be a good idea to follow Jill," suggested Matt. "I have absolutely no idea where she went, but I suppose you've got something that can track her down?"

"If this ring of hers really is straight out of 'Buffy'," Eduardo nodded. "Ok, here's a plan: I'll take Rose to the firehouse and try and make her eat, and we'll also try to get hold of Kylie and/or Jill. You stick with Chita and try to stop her from realising that something's up."

x x x

Kylie had absolutely no idea where to go. She would have to find somebody to stay with – her father perhaps, or a grandparent. All she knew for sure was that she had to get away. Instinct led her towards the nearest subway station, but when she got there she realised that she had hardly any money on her and none of her possessions – just the clothes she was wearing. But she couldn't go back to the apartment. Eduardo might be there by now – or Matt with the kids. She didn't want to see any of them. And Maddy might well still be there. Why, Kylie asked herself, had she invited the damn woman to stay in the first place? They had never liked each other!

She was trying to decide what to do when Jill suddenly rounded a nearby corner and approached her estranged daughter. Kylie felt immensely relieved to see her. Here was somebody who would understand what she was going through – somebody who could help her.

"Mom!" exclaimed Kylie. "Am I glad to see you!"

"You are?" asked Jill, pleasantly surprised.

"Yes. Can we go someplace and talk?"

"Of course we can, sweetheart."

Twenty minutes later Kylie was sitting with her legs tucked under her on a pullout sofa, Jill making coffee in a grimy kitchenette a few yards away.

"How long have you had an apartment in Manhattan?" asked Kylie.

"Ha – if you can call this an apartment," Jill laughed dryly. "Not long – just a few weeks. But I've wanted to try and put down roots here since… since I realised I wanted to be back in your life. I've even talked to your father about getting back together but… well, he doesn't seem very keen." She paused. "Kylie… you must believe that I'm sorry about everything that happened. But it was all such a long time ago – and I'm a grandmother now. It's only just hit me – and now I see how precious time is. I've missed so much of your life. Can't you give me a second chance?"

"You don't have to apologise," Kylie shrugged nonchalantly. "I can understand exactly why you did it. Sorry I was so hard on you."

"Well you must have been upset."

"I suppose I was. But I forgive you."

"I'm so glad," Jill smiled, carrying two cups of coffee over to the sofa and sitting down. "So can I meet them?"

"Who?" Kylie asked confusedly.

"Your girls."

"Oh. Them." Kylie looked surprised. "I don't know about that. I've left them."

"You have?" Jill asked incredulously.

"I'd just had enough. You were right – I never should have seen that first pregnancy through. And why I had another one I don't know. And Eduardo… I can't be doing with any of that anymore. I don't know why I ever imagined I loved him – I don't."

"That's pretty close to what I was thinking twenty-odd years ago," Jill said slowly, absently twisting the gently smouldering ring on her finger. "Honey, can you excuse me for a moment? I need to use the bathroom."

The bathroom was the size of a fairly large wardrobe, and didn't actually contain a bath – just a toilet, basin and shower, none of which was exactly pristine. Jill went in and shut the door behind her, leaning her back against it in quiet contemplation until a beautiful silver-haired woman dressed in white with an impossibly perfect body materialised before her.

"Well," the apparition smiled serenely. "Now what will you do?"

"I don't know," Jill muttered grudgingly.

"It is time I removed the enchantment, Jillian."

"I know. But then what? Will she hate me again?"

"We'll soon find out."

"Isn't there anything else you can do?" Jill asked desperately. "You've already altered her mind once – make her forgive me!"

"I have," the woman pointed out. "I made her sympathise with your feelings. It is time I returned her to her right mind."

"No," begged Jill. "Just give me a little more time with her – I know I can talk her round. Please!"

The woman nodded. "Very well," and she disappeared.

x x x

"Taking a PKE scan should have been the first thing I did," Egon said gravely, examining the meter in his hand. "Well, there's a slight trace – it's hardly anything. It looks like she's been affected in a small way by this… whatever it is."

"A small way?" Eduardo repeated dryly, taking Rose back from Egon. "She's been starving herself."

They were down in the firehouse foyer, Garrett and Roland standing by for further instructions. Janine was at her desk having a trawl through the digital archives to see if Matt's report (relayed to them all by Eduardo) could be translated into anything specific. And Charlene was back, flicking through a book that she'd remembered in connection with Moon Goddesses and summoning spells – the latter being an educated guess on Egon's part from the information he had.

"Here we are!" Charlene suddenly piped up, dumping the book on Janine's desk and pointing to a particular passage. "Hera: aGreek Goddess who can be invoked for love, the moon, the element of Air and motherhood. Isn't that this lady's problem? She's a bad mother?"

"Kylie won't thank me for telling you that," Eduardo muttered quietly.

"If it's this Hera we're dealing with, it would seem to follow that Rose might be affected," mused Egon; "seeing as her own mother is under its influence."

"Ah – found her," Janine suddenly announced. "Apparently if you summon her and give her a bit of silver she'll help you out with your man, motherhood and fertility…"

"Woman problems!" Charlene exclaimed delightedly. "Brilliant! Can I go with you?"

"Ask your dad," Janine answered simply, before carrying on: "She gives you a ring for if she needs to contact you and vice-versa – looks like we've found our culprit."

"Ok, great," Eduardo approved, as Charlene sidled away. "Now we just need to find Kylie's mother."

"Well we can do that," Garrett said optimistically. "But maybe you should call home first, Eddie, just in case there've been any developments."

Still holding Rose on one arm, Eduardo picked up the phone on Janine's desk and dialled with the same hand. Soon after this Charlene and Winston appeared, the former exclaiming indignantly, "O-oh! I wanted to make a call!"

"Are you coming with us?" Roland asked her.

"She seems to have worn me down," Winston answered for his daughter. "Charlene, are you sure you can't explain what exactly is so urgent?"

"Quite sure," Charlene was adamant. "Can I use your cell phone please, Dad? Oh, guys – don't bother waiting for us. We'll catch you up soon, ok?"

Meanwhile Eduardo had learnt from Maddy that Matt and Conchita were home, and there had be no more sign of Kylie or Jill. Maddy also reported in a low voice that despite Matt's best efforts, Conchita was getting suspicious and a little upset. Distressed though not surprised by this news, Eduardo asked to speak to her.

"Mommy and I will be home soon," he told Conchita, trying as ever not to sound too patronising – he liked to credit children with some intelligence, and especially his own. "Will you be ok with Maddy and Matt?"

Fortunately Conchita answered in the affirmative; Eduardo didn't know what he would have done if she had said no. He then said goodbye and hung up, and made for the Ecto-1 with Rose. She had to go with them – if he achieved nothing else from this endeavour, Eduardo was determined that his younger daughter should get some sort of nourishment.

x x x

Valerie Barrett was in the middle of a conversation on her cell phone, the caller ID having sent her upstairs to shut herself in the spare bedroom before she would answer. She thought she was safe from being overheard, the strident tones of Oscar's brand new electric guitar (thank you very much, Charlie Venkman) filling the ears of everyone within about a five-hundred-yard radius.

"You must be able to hear that," Val said dryly. "I suppose he's quite good."

"If you like that sort of thing – but how can anyone like it?" the voice of Andre Wallance answered. "It's just ludicrous to call it music."

"But if it makes him happy, Andre…"

"I know, I know. It's just such a waste of his talent."

"It seems like he's getting on well," Val went on. "I haven't seen his school reports yet, I'm afraid. I don't think he'll ever be as bright as Jessica, but last thing I heard he was holding his own. And did you know there's a girl now?"

"A girl?" echoed Andre. "Nobody told me. I did wonder, though – he's almost seventeen. What's she like?"

"I haven't actually met her," Val told him. "She sounds very nice, though."

"Are you sure? You must have met that girl Oscar hangs around with… they play music together…"

"I think you mean Ella. She and Oscar are just friends. I don't like it much either, but it could be worse. No – this girl sounds quite different. She's a Christian apparently, and likes to read. Oscar never reads. Did you know that?"

"No."

"Well he doesn't – only those dreadful music magazines. He hasn't picked up a book in years. I so hope this girl will be a good influence on him. Ugh," Val sighed, as a knock came at the door. "Hold on a moment, dear. Come in!" she called.

"Hey!" Jessica smiled cheerily, as she pushed open the door. "Why are you hiding up here? I'm s'posed to ask if you want to play Monopoly."

"Are you, dear?" Val smiled indulgently. "Well, it always seems to be over very quickly for everyone but you and your father – but I shall certainly try. I'll be down in a minute, darling – all right?"

"Cool," Jessica answered breezily. "Do you wanna be anything in particular? Cos if you don't pick something now you'll be stuck with the iron."

"I expect I can live with that, Jessica."

"Iron it is. See you in a minute," and Jessica ran energetically towards the stairs, making her grandmother flinch.

"I take it that was your delightful granddaughter?" Andre's voice buzzed from the phone in sarcastic tones.

"Yes, well – you needn't criticise her," Val answered grimly. "I am already quite aware of her faults."

"Similar to Oscar's," remarked Andre. "That's Venkman's influence for you – and I know you feel the same way about him, Val, so you can't object to my saying so."

"Not my ideal choice, Andre, but he makes my daughter happy," Val said simply.

"He's also turning my son into exactly the kind of thing I despise," retorted Andre. "I'm bringing the family over there in February, Val. Isn't there anything I can do?"

"Oscar won't listen to you now, dear. He likes Peter and he likes his music and he likes that dreadful ponytail. As you say, he's almost seventeen – I think if he was going to change tack he would have done it by now. Best just to leave him to it. You still have the other three – aren't they a little closer to what you wanted?"

"Yes – absolutely. Lars and Emilia make me proud every day. And Hayden…"

"Yes?" prompted Val.

"You wouldn't be interested," Andre returned in dismissive tones. "He's a good kid, but he's just at that age. Two months off eleven – he was bound to start questioning Kate and me. I'm sure he'll get over it. At any rate I don't think he'll turn into another…"

"Oscar?" Val suggested helpfully. "Andre, I sometimes wonder if we should continue these conversations about your son. All I'm trying to do is help you to get on good terms with him, but you never take my advice. You only seem to criticise."

"That's not true!"

"Isn't it? Listen – you know if Oscar ever found out about this he'd probably go so far as to disown me. He and Dana wonder how I can still like you at all after what you did to them – and I wonder myself at times."

"Marrying my best friend was a mistake," Andre sighed wearily. "And I couldn't turn down the London Philharmonic – it's what I worked for all those years."

"We're all allowed one mistake," Val told him matter-of-factly. "That's why I've forgiven you. I think it's such a shame it happened, though – you and Dana used to be such good friends. And I really think you could be again, dear. Just please promise me that you'll make an effort with Oscar when you next visit."

"You know I will, Val."

"Good. Now I have to go – they're all downstairs waiting for me to play Monopoly."

However the game hadn't even started before the call from Charlene Zeddemore came. Dana answered it, and returned to the sitting room moments later to relay a message to Peter: "Charlene wants you to take Jessica to the firehouse."

"Is it the stupid moon again?" asked Peter.

"Mhm," Dana nodded.

"Why does she want me to take Jess?"

"It's something to do with the – uh – you-know-what. And you're not even needed. Oscar or I could take her if you want to stay here and play Monopoly."

"No no no – I'll go," Peter hastily assured her. "With Jess and me gone somebody else will get a chance to win."

"It'll be Charlie."

"Or your mom. The rest of you Barretts are much too nice. Jess!" he called across the room. "We're needed at the firehouse."

"What – you and me?" asked Jessica, surprised. "Why?"

"Charlene wants you for the moon thing," was the only explanation Peter could give.

"This again? Is it to do with my…?" began Jessica.

Peter and Dana both nodded.

"Oh well – it'll be nice for somebody else to win for a change," shrugged Jessica, crossing the room. "Oscar, don't let anybody weasel out of paying you rent."

"Bye." Dana kissed Peter and Jessica in turn. "Peter, do not let anything happen to her. Charlene assures me it's all quite safe, but I wouldn't count on it."

x x x

"Maybe you should think this over again, Kylie," Jill was saying reasonably. "I left my family too, and now I really regret it."

"Since when?" Kylie asked sceptically. "I know you're sorry now, but frankly it took you long enough."

"I know," sighed Jill. "I suppose I didn't really regret it until I saw Conchita when she was a baby."

"But you never wanted me to have her," argued Kylie. "When I got pregnant you told me to have an abortion."

"I didn't think you were ready," reasoned her mother. "You were a year younger than I was when I had you – I wasn't nearly ready to have a child. That's why I left you."

"But Jill, I'm not you," Kylie pointed out.

"You're leaving."

"Well… maybe I wasn't ready. But you weren't exactly helpful. When you found out I was pregnant with Rose you called and told me it was a stupid idea to have another baby."

"I thought it was."

"You think quite a lot of things like that, don't you Jill."

"Are you really going to leave them?" Jill asked quietly. "Because if they're anything like you they'll never forgive you – and let me tell you, that really hurts."

Kylie shook her head, her face clouding over with confusion. "Of course I'm not leaving. Did I say that? Oh God – I did!" she realised, suddenly remembering all of the appalling things she had said to Eduardo. "Jill, what the hell did you do to me?"

"I'm sorry, Kylie," Jill said pleadingly. "I suppose I knew it was a stupid idea really, but it seemed like my only hope. You just didn't want to know."

"Well of course I didn't!" fumed Kylie. "What did you do?"

"I – um – stumbled across one of your old freaky spell books when I was at Mom's place recently," explained Jill. "I thought perhaps if you understood how I felt…"

"That's how you felt?" yelled Kylie, rising to her feet. "You stopped me feeling anything for my kids – I only cared about myself! Didn't you love me at all?"

"Of course I did!" Jill cried desperately. "I can't believe you didn't love them at all."

Kylie didn't answer. She had still loved them, but it was hardly anything compared to how she felt about Conchita and Rose when she was in her right mind. She certainly hadn't loved Eduardo in the last few hours – not a bit. He had felt like some kind of gaoler – the man who had burdened her with this mundane existence and two clingy little girls – but at least she could leave the kids with him. Was that how Jill had felt about Steve? Did she ever love him?

A car pulled up on the street outside. Despite the absence of the siren (silent for Rose's benefit, though Kylie couldn't possibly know that), she recognised the engine sound of the Ecto-1. Doors opened and shut noisily, and then suddenly a very familiar sound caught Kylie's ears. Her face clouding over with concern, she hurried out onto the street and took the bawling Rose from Eduardo's arms.

"I'm sorry, Eduardo," Kylie blurted out, as she rocked her baby and tried to comfort her. "I didn't mean any of it."

Eduardo wondered what could have happened to return Kylie to normal, but he didn't say so. He had to worry about Rose first. "She's hungry," he said soberly. "She hasn't had anything all day."

Kylie gaped at him for a moment, absolutely dismayed, and then she pulled open the car door closest to her and sat down on the front seat to feed Rose. Eduardo sighed with relief. It was getting dark, the moon was already shining – it still didn't seem to have reverted to its normal state.

"Where's Conchita?" asked Kylie.

"She's with Matt and Maddy," Eduardo told her reassuringly. "I spoke to her on the phone before we left. She's fine."

Jill was watching the scene from the window, feeling somehow hollow. She noticed a tall black guy and a muscular man in a wheelchair hovering awkwardly, but she ignored them and concentrated instead on her own daughter. Kylie was breast-feeding Rose – Jill didn't even know she did that. She was the first Davies woman to breast-feed probably since the invention of the first baby bottle – whenever that was.

Another car – this one flashy and expensive – pulled up by the kerb and two people got out: a large black guy and a brown-haired man in jeans who had been driving. Two girls then climbed out of the back of the car – probably the men's daughters by the look of them. The little party wandered over to Eduardo and Kylie's hovering companions – Jill briefly wondered what was going on there. Then she put them all out of her mind and looked again at Eduardo and Kylie. He was now crouching down to meet her eye where she sat in the car. He touched her knee and said something that made her laugh slightly, but Kylie was visibly upset. She was holding the hungrily feeding baby close to her and talking ceaselessly to Eduardo. She was most likely apologising for all of the things she had reported saying to him, or perhaps having a rant about her mother.

"Shit," muttered Jill, turning away from the window.

"Sorry," Hera smiled apologetically. "She was resisting my magic. I didn't want to confuse the poor girl, so I thought it best to remove the enchantment."

"It was a stupid idea in the first place," spat Jill. "But I don't know what else I'm supposed to do. There's not very much I can do now, I shouldn't think. That's it – any chance I ever had completely blown. Isn't there anything else you can do?"

"Such as?" asked Hera.

"Oh I don't know," Jill sighed despairingly. "You do love as well, don't you? What about persuading Steve to take me back?"

"I cannot do it unless he loves you."

"Well he loved me once – but even if you could do it I doubt it would do the situation very much good. Why did I even bring you into this in the first place? Those side effects you have on the moon have been flooding people's houses, you know."

"Do you care?" Hera asked interestedly.

"Not really," Jill shrugged dismissively. "As far as I know nobody's dead as a result of it. God, I'm an idiot. I saw your name in one of Kylie's weird-ass books and thought I might as well give it a try, but there's plenty of things I could have and should have done first. I have a family who'd willingly help me, you know, if they knew how sorry I was. My sister never got on with her son until sometime last year. She must have some idea what to do about this. Why didn't I ask her advice?"

"There's no point agonising over it now," ventured Hera. "Unless it isn't too late…?"

"Worth a try," Jill determined, whipping out her cell phone. However she hadn't dialled before the two girls from the gathering outside suddenly burst in through the front door, their fathers hovering out in the hallway.

"You could have knocked, Charlene," the brown-haired girl derided her companion.

"Sorry," the black girl smiled apologetically at Jill, who was looking back at her, startled. "I'm just a bit keen. Where is she?"

"Who?" asked Jill.

"Hera," the girl replied. "That's right, isn't it?"

"Oh. Yes, that's right," answered Jill, not seeming at all surprised. Not much could surprise her now. She pulled the silver-jewelled ring off her finger and handed it to Charlene, saying as Hera faded from her vision, "Here. You and your friend can both see her if you're both touching it."

"Thanks," Charlene smiled winningly.

"No problem," Jill answered blankly – and then she carried her cell phone into the bathroom, away from the one-sided conversation she knew was coming.

"Whoa!" exclaimed Jessica, blinking in surprise at the apparition that materialised before her when she touched the ring. "She's a Greek Goddess all right – it's like being back in LA."

"Yeah," agreed Charlene, "except she probably hasn't been under the knife like the LA women. You'd have to know a plastic surgeon or be a goddess to look like that."

"Can I help you two?" Hera asked politely. "Payment in silver – anything will do."

"Darn it – I forgot about that," muttered Charlene, kicking the front door shut for some privacy – Winston and Peter were still out there. "Couldn't you just do us a favour? Kylie's mom already paid you for this visit, and my friend here is having a really tough time coming to terms with her – uh – woman problems."

"I am sorry to hear that, dear," Hera smiled sympathetically at Jessica. "A lot of girls find it difficult at first – especially girls as young as you. You'll get used to it."

"Another forty-odd years of this," scowled Jessica, absently running her palm over her abdomen as she felt a sudden cramp coming on. "I suppose I'll have to get used to it. But my mom tells me that. Do we really need to talk to this chick, Char?"

"Well… I just wondered if there'd been some kind of a mix-up," Charlene said to Hera. "See Jess didn't want this to happen, and I…"

"She's behind her friends apparently," Jessica cut in. Then she added dryly, "Except me, obviously."

"No mix-up," Hera answered calmly. "It comes to us all when we're ready."

"I'm not ready," objected Jessica.

"Well obviously your body is," retorted Hera. Then she turned to Charlene. "I am sorry, dear. Your turn will come. Even if you paid me there isn't really very much I can do. Well… I could do something… but I shouldn't."

"I'm quite sure it's not worth it," Charlene smiled dryly. "That's ok – I'll wait. So what about my friend here? Can you give her any more advice or something to help the cramps or anything?"

"Ah well – you might find that the pain improves after I have gone," Hera smiled apologetically at Jessica. "I affect other things than the moon and babies in the middle of weaning."

"You mean you've been putting me through this agony?" Jessica demanded angrily.

"Well not necessarily," Hera answered calmly. "Some women are worse affected than others. But I wouldn't complain about it, my dear. For centuries men have been under the entirely false impression that menstruation weakens women – and you, dear, are not a weak woman. You are feisty and intelligent. Stay that way. Both of you," she added, turning to Charlene. "It may prove useful one day. Perhaps sooner than you think… Jessica, is it?"

"Yes," Jessica answered warily. "But you call me Jess – and what d'you mean?"

"You come from a long line of strong women," Hera smiled serenely. "You are independent minded and you always try to get what you want. I like that about you. However there is a traitor in your midst. Perhaps she means well – I do not know – but she is going after what she wants and it may ultimately sever her family ties."

"What do you mean?" Jessica demanded urgently. "Who is it? Not my mom!"

"I cannot say."

"Why the hell not?"

"I do not tell tales," Hera replied calmly. "It is merely a warning – I would hate any of your family to be alienated from the rest of you. Hearing Jillian Griffin's story was most disheartening. But you're a clever girl – I'm sure you will see the signs."

"What signs?" asked Jessica. "Come on – you can't just leave it at that!"

"I daresay it will all come out soon enough."

"What will?"

"I cannot help you without the proper payment," Hera was adamant.

"Can't or won't?" Jessica demanded hotly. "Tell me what you're going on about, you stupid glorified beach bunny!"

"Jessica!" exclaimed Charlene. "You can't talk to a goddess like that!"

"Who says I can't?" snapped Jessica.

"It is time for me to go," Hera suddenly announced, in that irritating cool voice of hers. "Give me that ring please, Charlene. The moon is out. We want no more flooding of the sea and no more starving babies if we can possibly help it."

"And no more period cramps," muttered Jessica, letting go of the ring so that Charlene could hand it over. "Thanks for nothing, you stupid cow. Well Charlene, that was not one of your better ideas," she added, when the ring had disappeared from between Charlene's forefinger and thumb.

"Sorry," shrugged Charlene. "I thought she might be able to help. And you did get a free warning."

"I'd have been better off without it."

"You never know – it might be useful. So how are the cramps?"

"Pretty painful."

"Aww – I'm sorry, Jess."

At that point Jill re-emerged from the bathroom, snapping shut her little silver cell phone. She was looking downhearted – her sister had not been overly helpful.

"It's not the same thing," Maddy had said, when Jill asked how she had managed to rework her bond with her own child. "I never actually left Matt. And I did go looking for him when he ran away from home last year. What you did to Kylie was more like Sean – Matt is never going to forgive Sean."

"You hope," retorted Jill.

"Look," sighed Maddy, "you might not have blown it. I don't know – I don't know Kylie that well. I honestly think that the best thing you can do is to lay low for a while. Stay close – stick with that apartment of yours. Kylie knows you're sorry. The ball's in her court – if she ever wants to talk she'll know where you are."

"But she'll never want to talk!" argued Jill.

"Well then there's nothing you can do," reasoned her sister. "Look… I know we don't always get along, but you are my only sister so I guess I'll talk to her for you."

"You will?" Jill asked incredulously, beginning to feel encouraged.

"Yes I will – but you'll have to owe me one. And call Mom – and maybe Dad too. They might talk to Kylie for you as well. Maybe if enough people bug her she'll give in. But look, you can't keep pumping me for information, ok? Matthew is firmly on Kylie's side, and I have to be too if I want things to stay good between us."

"That is so not fair. You always seem to get the better deal."

"You screwed up, Jill," returned Maddy. "You had your chance and you blew it when you walked out nearly twenty years ago. And now it's probably too late to fix it."

"Ugh – now I remember why we weren't talking," Jill said nastily.

"Do you want me to talk to your daughter for you or not?"

"Ugh – yes!"

"Well?"

"Sorry."

"Apology accepted. Bye Jill," and Maddy hung up.

When Jill emerged from the bathroom, Charlene and Jessica each gave her a watery smile and then exited quickly through the front door.

"Did you get what you wanted?" Winston asked Charlene.

"Um… not really," Charlene had to confess. "Sorry I made you come."

"You ok, sport?" asked Peter, catching sight of Jessica's distracted expression.

"Mmm," Jessica nodded slowly. "I think so. Dad… you know how Grandma disappeared upstairs when she got that call on her cell. Do you know who she was talking to?"

Peter shook his head. "Sorry – I wouldn't dare eavesdrop on your grandmother. Imagine if she caught me! Why do you ask?"

"It just seemed kind of weird, that's all," shrugged Jessica, beginning to follow Winston and Charlene out of the building. "She went all the way up to the spare room and shut herself in. Why would she need that much privacy?"

"I don't know, Jessie. Maybe she's having an affair."

"Eww – Dad!"

"Sorry," grinned Peter, putting an arm around his daughter's shoulders as they walked. "So how are you feeling? Did this Hera help you?"

"No," Jessica answered firmly. "And I'm cramping again. It's almost as cold in here as it is out there, which so doesn't help. I really want to go home."

"Well that's where we're going."

"Great."

x x x

For the second time in as many days, Kylie was grateful to get out of the cold and into her warm apartment. It was almost eight o'clock and Conchita was still awake. She had on pink pyjamas and a thick sweater, and she was on the sofa cuddling Matt and a hot water bottle that was encased in a fluffy maroon cover. Her tired little face flooded with relief when she saw her parents, and Kylie wanted to burst into tears. However she managed to restrain herself enough to hug all of the breath out of Conchita and then put her to bed.

By nine o'clock Kylie, Eduardo, Maddy and Matt were sitting down to a late supper of microwavable pasta salad. Kylie still wasn't sure quite what had happened, but between them she and Eduardo managed to piece it together and tell Maddy and Matt more or less the whole story.

"Jill has always been mildly insane," was Maddy's verdict. "Still, this is a new one on me. But maybe you should go a little easy on her, Kylie – she probably didn't even think it would work."

Kylie was momentarily surprised. "So?" she asked, in challenging tones.

"Well… she didn't think she actually was going to have a Greek Goddess cast a spell on you or whatever it was she did," reasoned Maddy. "She probably just figured it was worth a try, but she never imagined anything would come of it."

"I don't believe that for a moment," retorted Kylie. "And even if it's true she could have stopped it at any time. Of all the things that woman has ever done to me, this has got to be the lowest."

"Yeah," agreed Maddy. "She must be pretty desperate to make it up to you."

"Look - " began Kylie, throwing down her fork.

"Mom," interrupted Matt. "Stop it."

Maddy shrugged and returned her attention to her pasta salad. She had said that she would talk to Kylie and now she'd done it. Nobody could say she hadn't tried to help her sister.

When Eduardo and Kylie went to bed that night they cuddled up, merely to minimise the coldness, and she kissed him lingeringly on the mouth. For some reason Maddy and Matt in the next room – her on the sofa and him camping on a mattress on the floor – made Kylie feel very self-conscious about touching Eduardo. But she wanted to make absolutely sure that he knew she loved him.

"I'm really sorry I left you," she said solemnly. "And I didn't mean any of the stuff I said. Your hands aren't clammy. And I love you," she added.

"Well that's a relief about my hands," Eduardo smiled dryly. "And I love you too. Nobody blames you, Ky."

"What do you think Jill will do now?"

"I have absolutely no idea. Would she try again after all that?"

"Well she's got nothing left to lose. I almost feel sorry for her."

"She's still your mother, you know," Eduardo couldn't help saying. He had lost a parent himself – not in the same way as Kylie – but it still bothered him that he hadn't got on well with his father before he died. He understood why Kylie felt like this, but he worried that she might someday regret it.

"So?" she asked scathingly.

"I don't know," shrugged Eduardo. "You just don't seem to remember it."

"Well, why should I?"

"I don't know, babe."

x x x

The last few days leading up to Christmas were comparatively quiet. Jessica's cramps subsided a little – she wondered whether it was because of that Hera person being gone (just where did she go anyway?), or just because of the stage in her cycle. Of course when Jessica thought of Hera she thought of that baffling warning – a traitor in her midst? Every morning she would fix her entire family with a scrutinising stare: Peter, Dana, Oscar, Charlie, Gerald and Val. The least likely suspect was the meek and silent Gerald Barrett. It's probably him, Jessica thought dryly to herself – or else it was all a pile of crap.

Val didn't talk to Andre again over the Christmas period, but Kate Wallance called Oscar at ten o'clock (three o'clock where she was) on Christmas Day. She very enthusiastically wished him a Marry Christmas, and then he talked briefly with each of the three Wallance kids. Jessica spent Oscar's entire conversation on the sofa, giving him the evil eye through the sitting room doorway. She stopped only briefly when her grandmother suddenly popped up from somewhere and said patronisingly, "Andre is his father, Jessica."

"I think it's lousy of you to like him more than you like Dad," her granddaughter retorted. "Just because half of Oscar once lived inside one of Andre's testicles doesn't mean anything."

At this Dana had bustled into the room and practically wrestled Jessica into the kitchen. It was more an act of mercy than anything – much better to be reprimanded by Dana than by Val.

x x x

Kylie was having an interesting Christmas. She was at Eduardo's brother's house with her father (now totally recovered), Maddy, Matt, Rose, Conchita, Eduardo and his mother, brother, sister-in-law and nephew – and even a few matriarchal Hispanic women Kylie didn't recall seeing before. One of them was Eduardo's maternal grandmother, one Maria Sanchez, who moments ago had cornered Kylie and demanded to know when Rose was going to be baptised. The answer had resulted in a tirade of very fast, very loud Spanish, which Kylie had meekly endured until Eduardo dragged her away and whispered, "If she asks you that again, just remind her that we already did it."

"But we haven't had either of them baptised," argued Kylie.

"Well don't tell her that," Eduardo advised. "As far as she's concerned, Chita was baptised on the sixth of January two-thousand-and-two – and she remembers our wedding in minute detail."

Kylie was now taking a short breather in the bathroom. Christmas was absolutely exhausting – but she remembered to feel grateful that she was surrounded by people, and they weren't even yelling at each other. She finished touching up her black lipstick (it was always fun to horrify the Mexican aunts) and then wandered out onto the landing, where she met Matt.

"You need a break too?" she asked.

"More than you do, I'll wager," Matt grinned lopsidedly. "Eduardo's aunts are all over me – and Kevin seems convinced I'm trying to coax them all upstairs."

"I don't get why you and Kevin hate each other so much," remarked Kylie.

"It's a territory thing, I think," Matt shrugged dismissively. "Anyway, I shouldn't complain. This is the most people I've ever been with at Christmas – it's nice."

"Yeah, I know what you mean," agreed Kylie.

"Conchita's having a great time down there."

"Of course she is. People are queuing up to tell her how beautiful she is."

"It seems to me like she speaks fluent Spanish."

"Well she certainly speaks a lot. What about Rose?" asked Kylie. "How's she?"

"Rose thinks we've all gone completely mad," Matt answered with a smile. "I suppose she's right in a way – Christmas is seriously crazy."

"I wonder what Jill's doing," mused Kylie.

"Do you care?" Matt asked interestedly.

"Well I wouldn't want anyone to spend Christmas all alone in a cold little apartment – even I managed to get through Christmas ninety-seven without being totally alone."

"Actually I think Mom gave Jill a call this morning."

"Huh!" Kylie exclaimed indignantly. "I thought she was on my side!"

"It's not just a case of taking sides," Matt said reasonably. "Jill is still her sister. You wouldn't want Rose and Chita to fall out of touch in their forties, would you?"

"No," Kylie answered shortly. "But nor would I want Rose and Chita to end up like Jill and Ma… um… like Jill.

"Mom's ok, you know," Matt smiled dryly. "She's really making an effort to get along with me."

"I'm glad she got there in time. You know I'm never going to forgive Jill now."

"Well that's up to you. It is kinda sad, though. Especially as she wants to - "

"Matt."

"What?"

"Don't."

Kylie wandered downstairs and left her cousin to it. Conchita was nowhere to be seen, but a gaggle of cooing women hunched over a particular spot in the sitting room betrayed her whereabouts. Kylie thought of poor put-upon Beth slaving away in the kitchen, and decided to go and offer her some help. Eduardo and Rose were in the kitchen as well as Beth. Rose was sitting on the tabletop and sucking from a bottle clutched in two fat little hands, while her father steadied her with one hand and held onto the bottom of the bottle with the other.

"I really am going to have to stop breast-feeding her soon," Kylie sighed sadly.

"No you're not," Beth contradicted her. "Carlota breast-fed Eduardo until he was almost two."

"She didn't!" exclaimed Kylie, most surprised by this news.

"Well it happens," shrugged Beth. "She was forty – she knew she'd never have another child. You still could, though," she added.

"I could," agreed Kylie. "But I doubt I will. I'm not having one any time soon, and I'm not doing what Carlota did and waiting until this one's seventeen," and she tilted her head towards Rose. "Anyway, can I help?"

"Yes please," Beth smiled gratefully. "The sprouts need doing."

Kylie knew what she meant: sprout preparation meant making a few very specific cuts with a small knife and then dropping the revolting little things into a saucepan. As Kylie did this, she couldn't help but let her mind wander. (Well, it was a tedious task). Where was Jill? In that dilapidated apartment? Probably not – she must surely have gone to one of her parents for Christmas. In the past she used to stay with friends in Spain. Maybe she had booked a flight at the last minute and done the same thing again this year.

Why on earth are you thinking about Jill? Kylie silently scolded herself. You never want to see her again – remember?

But even so – though Kylie would try to deny it for a long time – something inside her had changed since she learnt that her mother was genuinely sorry.

THE END

Disclaimer: All rights reserved to Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis and various people at Columbia Pictures. John and Eden Spengler created by Fritz Baugh. Kaila Zeddemore created by Brian Reilly. Charlene Zeddemore co-created by Fritz and Brian. All other original characters created by me (that's right – all of them – I have what you might call a fertile imagination… although Hera really is from Greek Mythology). Thanks for reading. :)

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