I am always here….always here…..never really noticed…..never thanked….yet still I am always here…..

I was typing in the new names that would shortly be joining Balamb Garden into the database on my computer. The screen glowed, as my fingers danced over the keys.
Forguana, Seviud
I sat in my office, in the same swivel chair, (the novelty had worn off long, long ago), at the same computer. It seemed that they were even the same names she typed in to the computer..

Dekardia, Sellenia

After all the incidents that had occurred over the last year, I would have thought this place would be so much more interesting. But after the Ultimecia affair, it has slowly resided back to normal. The brief flicker of activity lasted about two weeks after Squall, Quistis and the others defeated her, but soon we got back into the routines just as if nothing had ever happened.

Vadrew, Konstantina

And now, four months later, it really is as if it never happened. I mean, I wonder if I just dreamt it. The new year are arriving, their bright and cheerful faces, thinking they are going to be the next Squall Leonheart. All the new Cadets, first years, amateurs, just creating more work for me to do. I glanced at the calendar on the wall to my left. Five days before they would arrive. Thinking that the first time they pick up a gunblade, or a whip they are going to be masters at it.

Tiquar, Maron

Just more work. Why Cid wants to accept another 70 students is beyond me. "Xu, we'll manage." he told me. " We're hiring two more Instructors, we're considering hiring more and Quistis has been re-instated. We'll be able to cope." He's wrong I think. There's not enough space for a start. We don't have that many classrooms, and they will all be occupied at this rate.

McClasby, Hibnair

And all the extra work it will entail! I'm not lazy at all, but I don't know if we'll be able to cope. I'm always seen as someone who will "get things done". Anything that is a bit inconvenient gets pushed towards me. I know that Cid, and a lot of the other Instructors view me as a the efficient, professional one. Anything administrative seems to clutter up my in tray. I'm becoming a secretary. Even taking out the Cadets on their field exams is becoming less enjoyable.

Cheng, Xao-Wei

It all seems so different to before the Ultimecia incident. I have become the worker even more so, and seem to get even less attention than before. I would be great to talk to if anyone needed help, or something needed typing, or sorting out. But when was the last time, anyone talked to me as a friend? While Squall, Quistis and the others get all the attention, I just remain the figure in the background doing the work. I'm not jealous at all, they deserve it. What they did was incredible.

Hargod, Virep

No, they deserve it. But why am I looked upon in such a cold way? A sort of polite, fake smile and a "hi, Xu" but not anything more? Hell, I would even like a boyfriend maybe, though it might get in the way of my precious work, and I doubt anyone would even consider me as a romantic person anyway. But I am. And no-one has even known. And at this rate never will. How I am ever going to get anyone stuck up here in front of the screen?

Lodris, Collum

Sometimes I don't care. Sometimes I almost enjoy this. I can look at Garden, running efficiently, all students in the right places, everyone else happy, and I can feel proud. When the field exams go well, and we get some new graduates, I can feel a small part of it was down to me.

Heiselworth, Kendarl

But those feelings are few and far between. All I seem to be doing is the same, increasingly menial tasks, getting less and less appreciation. Is this what I want?
The sun had set, and it was getting much darker. I had had enough for today. I saved what little I had achieved, and closed the database. I shut down, though the computer decided to crash. I just switched it off anyway. I couldn't be bothered to sort out a stupid computer now. I turned the desk light off, and left my office, located on 2F. As I shut the door, I saw a familiar figure approaching down the corridor.
"Ah, Xu." Cid said, smiling. " Just who I wanted to see." He looked slightly guilty, and the smile wavered slightly. "I've just got.." Xu looked, and saw him carrying a file with several sheets of paper in it, several being about a hundred. ".. a few more of those SeeD application forms for you." he said pleasantly, as if announcing he had a present for me. "The thing is…I need them in by tomorrow evening…"
I closed my eyes. Early morning for me then. I forced my eyes open, and smiled weakly. "I'll try Sir."
"Thank you Xu." he said, though I didn't think he was particularly thankful, again he was just being as polite as protocol required. He gave me an even, slightly superior smile. He knew I would do it, he knew faithful Xu wouldn't let him down. For a second I thought like throwing all the file over him, but that idea left my mind rather quickly.
"Goodnight Xu."
"Goodnight Sir."
I turned and headed to my room. I reached it. I got undressed, out of my usual clothes, washed, brushed my teeth like I always do. I got into the same night clothes, picked up a book, read for about ten minutes, and turned my light off. I soon drifted off. My dreams were nothing, abstract emptiness, just like they always were.