Alright, seeing as I am stuck for inspiration on my other Avengers comedy fanfictions, I decided to start a new one! About four or five months ago, my parents, yes, my old folks, got me into Jackass. We watched all the movies within a week, and I have never laughed so hard.
Don't even get me started on Bad Grandpa. That movie...funniest thing...oh my gosh.
The idea for this fanfiction came to me one rainy afternoon. I then went and re-watched Jackass: Number Two, and thought...hey, some of those stunts could be put into a fanfic! Lo and behold, this fanfiction was born. I'm not using the really gross stunts, because they make me feel sick.
Anyways, rating for this has been set to 'T' for language, but may change to 'M' in later chapters depending on which stunts I use.
Background for this fic: Set in the same world as 'Real Life Videogames', 'Avengers and Videogames', 'Avengers and Pranks', etc. In this, Tony and Clint are huge Jackass fans, and after showing the movies to the others, have gotten permission to re-create the stunts. They will be livestreamed on TV. Fury is not happy. Not one bit. Pepper thinks it'll give them a bad reputation. Tony thinks it'll show how laid back they are, and also that Loki is considered one of them, officially. It is public knowledge that Loki is innocent, but some feel resentment still. In this, Pepper and Tony aren't actually together. (Only because, recently, I've begun to ship Frostiron.) Pairings may change.
For now, enjoy the newest comedy fic, from me! This is just to set the theme, and establish pairings, just to get in the mood.
After months of planning, arranging, and procrastination, it was finally the day of the Avengers newest publicity stunt. For a whole week, the team would be re-creating stunts from the classically hilarious Jackass movies. Not only that, but they would be making up ones of their own. Why undertake such a ridiculous project? In the words of Tony Stark, because they could. Director Fury had objected strongly to Tony, Clint, and Loki's idea, but had been forced to give in after he was told he could watch the stunts live. Basically, they convinced him by saying he could see them making a fool of themselves, up close.
The team had spoken with the actual Jackass guys, and had gotten legal permission to recreate the stunts. The guys would be watching the livestream, because they were planning a new movie.
The team had never been more excited.
Loki was sleeping soundly, curled up in a nest of duvets, getting a good nights sleep for the first time since the Avengers planned their Jackass recreations, and felt contented in his dreams. Clint, however, promptly shattered them by bursting into the tricksters room, wearing a brightly coloured, all in one morphsuit, and firing a loud horn, which reverberated through the room, echoing loudly. The trickster literally jumped out of bed in shock, tripping on a duvet, and splatting face first on the laminate flooring of his bedroom.
"Holy...holy...holy shit." Clint was gasping for breath as he laughed, laughing so hard his face was going red. He could barely breathe in the morphsuit. "Your face...your face...ohmygod."
Loki grumbled from where he lay on the floor, getting his bearings, before he pushed himself up, and stood straight. He locked eyes with Clint.
"I...am...going...to...fucking...kill...you...Barton." Loki seethed.
"OH SHIT!" Clint cursed as Loki, wearing his Stitch onesie, began to run for him. "ABORT ABORT!"
Tony, who had been standing outside, in a rainbow Batman onesie, holding a camera, went white, and bolted, running to the left. Terrified, Clint ran, screaming, after Tony, who swore and ran faster. Clint caught up with Tony, but Loki was not far behind.
With Loki screeching at them both, they all ran through the kitchen, stunning the other Avengers, who, until then, had been quietly sipping their coffee.
When Steve saw Tony and Clint run past, he shrugged.
When Loki hurtled past in a Stitch onesie, screeching at the duo in Old Norse, he spit out his coffee.
Thor merely laughed at the antics of his friends. Natasha rolled her eyes, holding in her laughter, and Bruce just burst out laughing and fell off his stool, gasping and clapping like a seal. Pepper and Jane blinked slowly, and craned their necks to look down the hallway, as if trying to register what they had just seen. After a few moments, they all started laughing collectively.
They laughed harder when Tony and Clint ran back through again, their clothing torn, faces scratched, crying as they screamed and ran for their lives. Loki had ditched his Stitch onesie, as it impaired his movement, and now chased after them in only his black boxers.
Which, again, caused Steve to choke on his drink.
Pepper sighed.
It was going to be a long week.
Several hours later, things had calmed down, and the group were talking about which stunts to do first. Steve suggested a simple stunt to start with, perhaps one of their own creation. Just to get into the mood. All of the team agreed, and no sooner had they all voiced their agreement, Pepper and Jane got out their cameras, which also had microphones on. As the girls began setting up, the guys mused on what stunt to make.
After a moment of awkward silence, a literal lightbulb flashed on above Loki's head, before vanishing. They all turned to face him. The trickster, now in a dark purple 'Guns n Roses' shirt and grey skinny jeans, looked rather excited.
"What's your idea Lokis?" Tony asked.
"Dude, it must be a good one." Clint bit his fist in excitement, trying to hold himself together.
"I proclaim that we partake in..." Loki took a deep breath.
The others leaned forward, eyes widening, as Loki shook with barely contained excitement.
"MATTRESS JOUSTING!" He cried.
"...what?" Bruce blinked.
"Two people partake at once." Loki began explaining. "Each have a mattress and a helmet. One stands at one end of a hallway, preferably a long one, and the other stands at the opposite end. The mattresses are placed several metres from the participants. Both would run, and throw themselves onto their respective mattresses. The momentum would send them flying along the floor on the mattresses. If someone ducks our before the collision, they are declared a chicken. Otherwise, both collide with each other, and send each other sprawling. It goes on until one concurs."
After the detailed explanation of 'Mattress Jousting', the other Avengers were in silence, jaws hanging open. Thor was the first to speak.
"I approve of this jousting of mattress, brother! What a brilliant idea!" Thor praised Loki.
"I have yet another idea..." Loki chuckled. "Mattress Surfing...where you surf a mattress...down stairs, or a slope of your choosing."
"Holy shit." Clint laughed. "Those both sound fucking awesome!"
"And dangerous." Pepper shook her head.
"It actually...sounds like fun." Jane nodded.
"Injuries will occur." Loki smirked.
Ten minutes later, the group were huddled at one end of the longest, widest hallway in Stark Tower. The floor had been polished, so they were all slipping around on it. Steve had actually volunteered to go first, most likely to get it out of the way. Being the one who suggested Mattress Jousting, Loki was the opponent for each of them. Loki slid down the hallway on his mattress, and stopped at the other end. He and Steve strapped on their helmets, before placing down their mattresses.
Pepper stood by Steve, with a camera, and Jane slid down the hall to stand next to Loki, holding another camera. Tony held a microphone. On his cue, they began filming. Steve hastily adjusted his American flag morphsuit, whilst Loki adjusted his superman morphsuit, which had a cape.
"I'm Tony Stark." Tony started presenting. He grinned widely, wearing a tuxedo patterned morph suit. "And welcome to Jackass."
Tony cued Loki, and Loki adjusted the mini microphone on the inside of his helmet. He turned to face Jane.
"I'm Loki, and this is mattress jousting." He grinned.
"Ready Steve?" Tony asked Steve, who nodded nervously. "Loki?"
Loki nodded, grinning evilly, which made Steve shudder nervously.
"EN GARDE!" Loki ran and launched himself onto his mattress.
At the same time, Steve launched himself at his mattress.
The two hurtled down the corridor towards each other, holding on tight as they glided along the polished floor. Steve yelled in a manly fashion, giving a mighty war cry. Loki screeched in Old Norse, knuckles going white as he held on tight. A huge grin was plastered on his face. As the two got closer and closer, Tony played loud dramatic music, and Clint bit his fist to hold in his laughter. Natasha was shaking her head. Thor and Bruce laughed, but tried to hold it in. They eventually bit their fists like Clint, holding it in.
After a minute or two, Loki and Steve's mattresses collided, with such a huge force, that Loki went flying past the other Avengers. Steve flew off, rolled down the hallway, and smacked into the wall next to Jane.
There was a crash as Loki smashed into the bar.
Followed by a groan.
Steve had knocked himself out, and his mouth was hanging open.
A moment of silence passed before the rest of the team burst out laughing, holding onto each other for support. Thor's laugh was deafening, and the thunder god fell to the floor, he was laughing so hard.
"Cease this laughter!" Thor gasped between words, still laughing. "Norns, my sides!"
"Ohmygosh." Clint choked out.
"Loki, you...you ok?" Steve came around, shaking his head to clear it.
There was a moment of silence, before they heard shuffling, and crackling glass. The top of Loki's head emerged, his eyes glaring at Steve. A gash on his forehead leaked blood down his face.
"Fuck you, Rogers." Loki groaned, before collapsing again, disappearing behind the bar.
"I'd rather not." Steve replied quickly.
"I am..." Loki slowly rose to his feet, supporting himself on the bar, looking totally spaced out. "INSULTED!"
"Rather a shame." Steve was clearly having fun. He picked up the mattresses.
"It matters not." Loki shrugged, before wincing.
A moment of silence passed as Loki sniggered.
"What?" Natasha asked.
"Loki, you ok?" Bruce walked towards Loki.
Clint noticed Tony stiffen, and raised an eyebrow. After a moment, his eyes widened. He started to piece the puzzle together, looking at Tony's face, which had paled dramatically, and Loki, who was raising an eyebrow. Meanwhile, Steve re-positioned the mattresses. Pepper, having paused filming, handed out glasses of water to everybody. Steve gratefully accepted his glass. Jane was still filming the interaction between the group.
"I have Stark instead." Loki smirked.
Steve choked on his drink.
Clint's jaw dropped.
Thor clapped.
Once.
"You...Loki...dude...you're serious?" Clint stuttered.
"Absolutely." Loki smirked, a slight flush on his face.
"You ass." Tony was going tomato red, glaring at the trickster.
"Bruce, you owe me 10 bucks." Natasha grinned at Bruce.
"Aw man." the scientist rummaged in his pocket before handing over a ten pound note.
"I approve of this relationship." Thor patted Loki on the shoulder.
The trickster looked slightly embarrassed, but actually smiled at Thor. The others voiced their agreement.
"I thought that was the appropriate moment to alert you all of our relationship." Loki shrugged, again wincing as he felt bruises developing.
"No, you have great comedic timing." Clint high fived Loki.
Steve still had his jaw hanging open.
"Tony, you ok?" Pepper noticed that the billionaire had frozen in his spot.
"Stark is alright. At least...he will be...later." Loki smiled seductively at Tony, who facepalmed, cursing, still tomato-red.
Steve collapsed.