"Please Austria, trade Ita-chan with me!"
The words pierced through my soul and I could feel my legs go weak, losing any strength that I had in my legs and arms. My breath hitched and I could swear the world froze for a brief second. During that one second, I could feel my heart shattering to millions of pieces. I could feel the tears form in my eyes.
Oh, but this was not new to me. Frankly, it was expected. Of-fucking-course Spain would want to trade me for my innocent, happy little brother. Why wouldn't he? My brother doesn't have any walls around himself to protect himself from getting hurt. That's what people like about him. They like that he can be so carefree, outgoing and hyperactive.
Though, I have those walls. I'm not always conscious about them, but they're always there. I keep people away with them. I like being alone, because then I don't need to deal with selfish idiots that only try to ruin my life. But I don't like feeling lonely. I want to have at least someone.
At first, I hoped Spain could be that certain someone. I was a selfish brat to him only to see if Spain would see through my walls and break them down; if he would actually care enough. However, I was proven wrong today. Of course he didn't care. No one cares about me. Not even my grandpa, not my brother, not Austria. No one. They all either tried to trade me away, pretended to like me or just ignored me. This is why I don't trust people.
This is why I don't let people into my life. This is why I stay away from everyone.
I swear from this day and on, that I will never trust anyone. Not even Spain. Especially not him.
Fuck them all.
I quickly wiped away the tears that ran down my cheek. I could not cry - I'm strong, dammit! Furrowing my brow, I tried to look as normal as possible. Conceal, don't feel. That's right, I don't need anyone to be happy! I heard footsteps getting louder and louder, closer and closer, indicating that Spain was on his way here. But when I saw him, I couldn't stop myself, and the tears came back. That stupid, stupid bastard..
Why do I even care what you think of me?