A/N- miraisukaminumocha on tumblr asked: Hi~! For the writing prompt, how about a romance hurt/comfort fic where Ryuu develops some kind of trauma towards any plane-related stuff since his parent's death? Like, for example everytime he hears an airplane passing by he suddenly hugs Kotarou tightly or trembling so intensely to the point he gets a hyperventilation? Person B sees this and immediately trying their best to comfort him. Whoever you will choose to be Ryuu's pairing is up to you :) Sorry for my bad English.
So for pairings I'm going with Hayaryuu because you know how I am. This probably counts as pre-slash more than anything, but I guess that depends on what goggles you're wearing. (Also yes, the title is from that one song.)
When Ryuuichi was younger, he used to be terrified of thunderstorms. Even the distant rumblings of thunder made him shiver and shake, and the gathering of dark, heavy clouds made his heart pound. On stormy nights he'd run into his parents' room dive into their bed and bury himself under their covers, whether they were home or not. Back then, when he was really too little to take care of himself, Tou-san and Ka-san never went very far, and if they were out on a stormy night, they'd always rush back, and Ryu would wake up to find Tou-san on one side and Ka-san on the other and everything would be better. After the crash, Ryu wasn't scared of thunderstorms anymore. Airplanes were a different story.
He hadn't realized it himself at first, the way he'd pull Kotaro to his chest when he heard the roar of a plane in the sky above them, or the tightness in his chest when he saw planes on television, a heavy dread of anticipation waiting for them to fall from the sky. It wasn't until a news story about a missing plane had him hyperventilating and shaking, tears streaming down his face that he had to admit to himself that something was wrong. He thanked his lucky stars that Kotaro was having a nap and Saikawa-san and Oba-san were busy work. Once he could uncurl himself from the scrunched up position his body had had fallen into, he made his way shakily to the bathroom to splash cold water on his face. He gripped the edges of the sink until his knuckles turned white, looked his reflection in the eye, and resolved not to tell anyone about this. He didn't want to trouble them.
Ryu became very good at hiding his tics. He was lucky that for the most part they were unobtrusive and that nothing had triggered as violent of a reaction as the news report. The tight balling of his fists, the way he clutched at Kotaro, and the slight tremor in his breath, these were all easily overlooked. The closest he came to other people finding out about his condition was when a jet had rumbled in the sky above them while his class was road-running in gym. He faltered badly enough to trip over his feet and tumble to the ground. Kamitani and Usokawa were at his side in an instant, pulling him to his feet. He brushed them off with a sheepish smile and a story about tripping over a loose stone which seemed to satisfy Usokawa, but he could feel Kamitani's speculative look throughout the rest of the day.
XXX
"What do you mean you're not coming on the trip!?"
Ryu cringed as Sakamoto and Usokawa's combined shouts caught the attention of the entire class. He shrunk into himself at their stares. It was nearing the end of the second year, and their class was going on a trip to Guam. International trips meant airplanes and so Ryu was out.
"I-it's kinda expensive, and I don't want Oba-san to have to pay so much for me." He stammered.
He caught Kamitani's eye, next to him. The boy gave him a suspicious look, but dutifully changed the subject. Ryu felt his shoulders relax a fraction, and the web of discomfort in his chest eased off a bit. He leaned into Kamitani's side gratefully, and felt a gentle pressure briefly around his wrist. Kamitani was a good friend.
XXX
"Of course you'll be going on the trip, Ryuuichi don't be ridiculous." Oba-san glared at him over the papers she was reading. Ryu winced. He should have expected this. He still had no idea how she found out he wasn't planning to go on the trip. It was probably Saikawa-san. The man had the habit of popping up when you least expected. He probably just knew things.
"But Oba-san it's really expensive-"
"Tch. Let me worry about that, will you? Besides I've said it a hundred times, your social life is just as important as your academic success."
"But what about Kotaro, and the day care? I don't want to abandon my work."
"Saikawa can handle that."
"It would be my pleasure to take care of Kotaro-sama and the other children for the duration of your trip Ryuuichi-sama." Saikawa added quietly.
Ryu opened his mouth to argue, when he felt a gentle pat on his chest. He looked down at Kotaro who was sitting in his arms. The little boy beamed at him. "Nii-cha don' worry. Kota will be good."
"Yeah, Kotaro. I know." he sighed. He knew he'd lost this one.
XXX
If his classmates noticed that Ryu was unusually quiet on the way to the airport, no one said a word. He took his usual seat next to Kamitani on the bus and spent the entire ride pretending to sleep against his arm, trying to quell the churning in his stomach. He broke out into a sweat at check in and the shakes started at security. He could feel Kamitani shoot him worried looks, which he resolutely ignored, balling his fists at his side. By the time their class got to the gate, his breath was coming in short bursts and his mind was shrouded in a dark cloud of worry.
"… are… alright? Kashima?"
Ryu blinked, bringing the world back into temporary focus, only to find Usokawa's worried face swimming in front of his own. He tried for a smile, though it felt stretched and wrong on his face.
"I'm fine, I just need the bathroom." he blurted, making a dash for the men's room nearby.
He made it into one of the stalls, managing to close it behind him before he started retching violently. He slid to the floor, gasping and clutching his stomach, heart hammering somewhere near his throat. He closed his eyes, trying to calm himself when there was a loud knock on the bathroom door.
"Kashima, it's me."
Ryu scrambled to his feet at the sound of Kamitani's voice. No no no no no he could not let Kamitani see him like this.
"K-kamitani." he managed to force out between gasps.
"Kashima are you alright?"
"Y-yeah I'm f-fine, j-ust give me a m-minute."
"Let me in."
"I-I'm fine."
"Kashima."
It was Kamitani's tone in the end, authoritative but holding an edge of thinly veiled worry, that made Ryu open the door with trembling fingers. It took a few tries, but he managed to get the lock undone. He used the last of his strength to pull the door open, before he pitched forward. He felt a pair of strong arms wrap around him and the next thing he knew, he was sobbing into Kamitani's chest. Kamitani, to his surprise, just held him closer, carding slender fingers through his hair and letting him cry.
"Kashima," he asked, when the sobs had quietened "are scared of planes?"
Ryu made a sound that could be considered a confirmation, pressing his face into Kamitani's shoulder. The other boy made an exasperated noise.
"Why didn't you tell anyone?"
"I didn't want to cause trouble."
"You're unbelievable." muttered Kamitani, though his fingers were still combing through Ryu's hair and he still held him in arms and Ryu would be embarrassed if this wasn't the only thing grounding him in the midst of his terror.
"I'm the only one Kotaro has left. Wh-what if-"
"No." Kamitani's voice was soft and firm and resolute, and Ryu found himself believing it, if only a little. They stayed standing like that until Ryu got his breathing under control and his heart wasn't the only thing he could hear.
"Ready to go out?" Kamitani asked, tentatively. Ryu nodded carefully and unfolded himself from Kamitani, feeling a stab at the loss of contact. As though he realized this, Kamitani slung his arm around his shoulders as they headed out to re-join their classmates, and Ryu found that he could focus more on their conversation with Kamitani next to him.
His legs threatened to give way again when their plane was called, but Kamitani simply linked their fingers together, and the churning in his stomach gave way to a sort of swooping feeling. He snuck a glance at Kamitani, who was determinedly not meeting his eye, but he felt a gentle squeeze against his palm. If any of their classmates noticed that they held hands until they were seated, they didn't say anything.
Kamitani lifted the armrest between them and tucked Ryu under his arm just before take-off, prepared to stay that way for the rest of the flight, and glared at anyone who dared to even look at them funny. It wasn't a perfect solution, Ryu's heart still thumped like a frightened hare and sometimes his breathing got so laboured that he choked, and his thoughts kept flitting to a worst case scenario. But Kamitani was always caught on in an instant and was there, tightening the arm around his shoulders until he could focus on the movie playing on his phone in front of them, or speaking to him in a low, calming voice until his breathing and heart rate came down to normal.
As they landed in Guam and Ryu disembarked on shaky legs, fingers still tangled with Kamitani's, he knew he may never like flying, but with Kamitani by his side he might just be able to manage.
A/N- Poor Ryu, I'm so sorry my son. I hope the fluffy ending makes up for it! Fun fact: I based Ryu's airport reaction on a meltdown I had at the reptile house in the zoo once. Can't deal with snakes. Panic attacks suck and just having someone next to you may make a difference or it may not be helpful at all, and even make it worse. If someone you know is having a panic attack, don't touch them without asking, and make sure they have the option of answering nonverbally if necessary. This has been a PSA. As usual, you can find me on Tumblr, I'm bards-against-hoomanity. I'm still open to prompts. I won't write anything that ships an adult with a minor (I don't care what the age of consent is in Japan) or a similar age gap (i.e. teen with child), and I'm very uncomfortable writing smut, but anything else is good to go. Hope you enjoyed this!
