Back to angst...?
Maybe.
I dunno.
This is kinda sad...
But I hope you like. :)
Have a good day!
Graylu Week
Day five- Breakdown
September 5th, 2016
It just wasn't something she could take.
She withdrew completely, at first seeming tired and incapable of doing anything but watching the sky out the window.
He was gone.
And she couldn't do anything about it.
They'd tried to talk to her, to try to snap her out of it.
"Maybe he's still out there." They tried, but it wouldn't work.
Lucy knew what she'd seen. She'd seen him slip over the edge of that cliff. She'd searched those waters over and over, even going back after everyone else had given up.
He was gone.
Even if he had survived that fall, it was too far for him to find his way back. Too far from any people, too far from any village or town.
Too far from home, too far from her.
And she should have been able to do something about it.
Day after day, she sat. Barely eating, barely drinking. Her sleep was fitful and her hair was a mess from the long nights of tossing and turning, waking up screaming in the middle of the night after seeing him slip from her grasp one more time. At first, she'd shoot upwards in bed, screaming his name, but eventually, she stopped forming words, instead crying out until her voice cracked and she fell on her side, her arms wrapped around her legs, her knees tucked against her chest.
She should have held on tighter.
Sometimes, Natsu would come over and pick her up and carry her outside, and forced her to walk with him so she wouldn't become completely unable. Erza had taken to spending the nights at her house, after Lucy proved incapable of taking care of herself. She lost an unhealthy amount of weight, and her eyes formed dark circles that she didn't even bother to try and cover up.
She could feel his fingers slipping from hers.
Day after day after day, from early in the morning, to late at night, she would sit by her bedroom window, watching the sky, with the window panes and shutters wide open. It didn't matter what the weather was. Natsu and Happy would come over just to shut the window sometimes, if there was a thunderstorm or a blizzard. But when they tried to take her anywhere where she couldn't see the sky, she would break down even further, collapsing to the floor and crying, just crying silent, heartbreaking tears until they moved her back to her safe place.
She saw his face disappearing from view, down into the mist.
The sky helped her keep that last, remaining piece of her sanity. Knowing that change was inevitable, and that she had prove right in front of her. Day into night, the changing from the inky velvet black of midnight into the grayish colors of early dawn. The bright colors of midday, all the way to the vibrant sunset. And it would repeat. And repeat. And that repetition provided her with some sort of structure to follow. Even if it was overcast, or raining, or snowing, it was always the same. Dark, lighter, light, darker dark.
The blinding white of the mist as his black hair vanished from view.
Another day of watching the snow. The late afternoon sky made the snow glitter like diamonds, and Lucy's brown eyes reflected them like a chocolate glaze. Her hand was curled around a mug of tea that Erza had given her a while ago, but it had long since gone cold, untouched, unmoved. Erza had left swiftly, that much Lucy could tell. She didn't know what was going on. She knew she should be curious, but she couldn't bring herself to move from her window.
"Hey, Lucy."
She closed her eyes. God, she could even hear his voice. Just it always had been.
"I hear you're not doing so well." She swore she could feel a familiar hand on her shoulder, warm. She felt a lump in her throat, and tears spilled down her cheeks.
Come back. I wish you could come back.
"Come back to us, Lucy." Lucy took in a deep shuddering breath, trying to block out the voice. She'd dealt with this before, the auditory hallucinations. They happened sometimes, they'd always go away.
"I'm back now, so you have to come back."
Lucy let herself relax. Perhaps it was just a hallucination, a trick made up by her mind to cope, but she would allow herself to cherish the false moment of security she felt.
"You'll come back soon, I know you will."
Lucy felt her tired body drifting off to sleep where she sat, and she let it. The warmth spread around her, almost as if someone were embracing her. Her eyes flickered open for a brief moment, before closing.
But just before she drifted off to sleep, she convinced herself that she could see his beautiful, onyx eyes.