Neon Genesis Evangelion:
I'm Needed
ByDevaro Ayanami
Disclaimer: I do not own NGE or any of its characters, though I wish I had an Eva. I am not making any money, this is just for fun.
Chapter 1
Return / Just a Dream?
Awareness flowing back into her slightly faster than she was running out of air, Asuka focused on Shinji's face. Such hate, focused solely on her. His fingers, which she once thought looked so soft and deft when she watched him play his cello, where now closed around her throat, crushing the life from her much more easily than she thought possible.
Why... Why does he want me dead?
Images flash through her mind, reminding her of the dream within Instrumentality. Mocking him, jabbing at him...
I couldn't be why! HE left ME! He did THAT near me! He's disgusting-
More images flash by, showing her again how she antagonized him and ran from him before, and how she turned her back on him after. Showing Asuka her part in Gendo's plans, in the fall of humanity, and in Shinji's fall.
Realization slowly dawned on her. She had been a puppet, a doll, just like Rei. She had been manipulative of Shinji, just like Gendo. She had helped to break Shinji as surely as Kaworu.
But... I...her air running out, she reached a hand up, slowly brushing Shinji's cheek, I'm sorry... I...
Shinji released his grip on her neck, allowing her to breath. Several tears fell onto her face, before he collapsed on top of her starting to sob. For her part, she felt disgusted with herself. She couldn't believe how easily she had been maneuvered.
Though... she mused, disgustedly, even if I had seen the signs, I'd have refused to acknowledge them. My pride...
"Kimochi wari..." she muttered to herself...
Then blinked, confused, as she suddenly found herself looking up at a ceiling that wasn't there a moment before with both eyes, as well as feeling Shinji's weight vanish from her stomach and chest. After a moment she sat up, feeling no pain from her arm or stomach, her red hair falling behind her, her vision clear. Looking around hurriedly, she notes her closet and desk, as well as several boxes of her things that she couldn't fit into the closet. A glance at the clock tells her that it is 3am and the calender above the clock notes it is a Saturday.
What... what was that? She thinks, her mind a little hazy, A nightmare...? No... it... it was real... but this is real too...
She gets out of bed, wearing not her plugsuit but her normal sleepwear of shorts and an over-sized t-shirt. As she hurries to the door she notes the room seems larger than she remembers, then opens the door. Stepping out of the bedroom she finds herself immediately in the living room, not the hallway between her and Shinji's rooms.
What the hell?!? What am I doing staying in Misato's room!?!
Asuka looks over the living room and spots a sofa next to her door, then walks to the kitchen and looks in it as well, noting the lack of PenPen's icebox. A quick search of the apartment, minus her and Shinji's rooms, reveals that there is not a single trace of the Major in the apartment at all. A quick glance in the bathroom mirror shows she is still herself, though her A10-clips are conspicuously missing from her hair.
She walks down the short hall and stands in front of Shinji's room. On the door is a small craft-paper sign which reads: Shinji's Lovely Suite, written in very precise kanji.
I should... probably check on the baka... she reasoned.
Taking a deep breath in an attempt to clear her mind, she opens the door and peeks in. She finds the same small space she remembers, a window in the wall to the left, perpendicular to the door.
Lying on the bed, sleeping peacefully with his head towards the window, is a small child with brown hair. Asuka blinks at this discovery, wondering why a little kid is sleeping in Shinji's bed, before a hazy memory clears.
No way! I... I better check my room... she thinks to herself.
Asuka steps back, and turns and opens her room's door. Inside, she sees a rather spartan space, containing only a bed, a dresser, and a desk, cello, and violin near the window. In the bed is a little girl with light blue hair.
No way! This isn't...
A second memory surfaces as her mind starts to race, and she runs for Misato's room, now her room. Running to the desk, she opens the top drawer and looks for a folder that she was remembering contained information on Shinji, Rei, and herself. Finding the folder, she opens it to find only six pages.
On the first is a notice recording her status as a special condition guardian by order of Nerv. The next two are custody documents, stating that Shinji Ikari and Rei Ikari are under her protection. The last few contain other small pieces of information.
Asuka stares at them for several minutes, thinking over what they might represent as her mind struggles to clear.
Ok, so I'm the guardian for a couple ten year-old kids, I'm still fifteen, and, another memory clears, Misato is in Germany... Great! Just great!
Asuka storms out of her room and falls on to the couch which sits next to her door.
After a staring at the ceiling for several minutes trying to think of what she should do once morning comes around, she hears the familiar sound of a door sliding open coming from the hallway.
Turning her head, Asuka sees the ten year old girl walk out of the hall and slowly make her way straight towards the couch, stepping around a couple floor-pillows and rubbing her eyes as she goes. She freezes in place when she finally looks up and spots Asuka already occupying it.
Staring at each other for several seconds, Rei finally speaks up in her soft voice.
"Why are you awake, Soryu-san?" she asks, one small eyebrow arched in curiosity.
"I could ask you the same thing, Ayanami." Asuka replies quietly, smirking slightly as she sits up, hazily remembering another Rei. "And I'm sure I told you to call me Asuka."
"I... I could not sleep." Rei says, uncertainty creeping into her voice and face as she looks to the ground. Asuka's mind instantly clears, her memories returning and clearing, and the thoughts and images she awoke with fade into a haze.
"A nightmare?" Asuka asks, and upon receiving a nod from the girl she reached out and picked her up, setting Rei on her lap. She remembers what particular nightmare was troubling her. One similar to those which had sometimes bothered her all to often here, and there.
"Don't worry Rei. I may have been a bi-... a witch about it when the Commander first assigned you two under my care." she said with a slight apologetic smile,
"But I'm not gonna leave you." she declared, "What would they say about the Great Asuka Langley Soryu if she abandoned two kids?" Asuka finished with a smirk.
"I know, but I am not the one you should be telling this to, Sor-... Asuka" Rei, obviously at least partly lying, replied matter-of-factly, "It is Shinji-kun who fears you will not return."
Rei's statement made Asuka pause for a moment. She knew Shinji was insecure, she had finally read the psych-files she was given before going to bed. It was one of the things that always made me ticked off, a thought drifted up from the dream, startling her. But that Rei seemed to be lying about not missing her startled her, and reminded her that this Rei was not like in her dream, not cold or seeming to lack emotion. And that there were no other Pilots right now.
"You know...I'm gonna take you guys for some ice cream tomorrow. What do ya say to that?" She asked after a moment, only to be met by Rei's soft breathing. Glancing down, Asuka realized she must have paused longer than she thought, and Rei had fallen asleep in her arms. She smiled, deciding that her mystery could wait until tomorrow, and carefully carried Rei back to her bed and laid her in it.
It surprised her how responsible she felt for the two children. Perhaps she thought, by caring for them without help, she could show she was a responsible adult and could stand on her own.
After all, I don't need anyone else. she thinks as she absently brushed her hand over Rei's mop of blue hair.
But... it's nice when others need you...
And perhaps, to try and avoid the shattered children from her dream.
Getting up, Asuka left the bedroom. As she closed the door she heard the one behind her slide open. Turning, she found Shinji standing behind her with his eyes to the ground. After a moment Asuka sighed, and slowly walked back into the living room and stands in front of the couch.
"Come on, Shinji, it's ok." She said tiredly, and watched him slowly walk out of the hall and up to her, his eyes on the ground most of the way. Glancing up to her face as he reaches her, he spoke.
"Soryu-san... are... will you... always come back?" He asked hesitantly.
Asuka blinked, mildly surprised that timid Shinji had actually voiced his concern to her. Smiling, she nodded her head.
Asuka held her hands out, leaving the invitation open to him for the same thing she had done for Rei. She was again mildly surprised as Shinji did not hesitate at all, and almost leaped into her arms, wrapping his small limbs tightly around her waist. Sitting and putting him on her lap, she gently brushes back his hair, just like with Rei, and he relaxes. Before he can fall asleep, she speaks.
"Hey, Shinji," she says quietly.
"Hmm? …Soryu-san?" Shinji replies drowsily, having begun to drift off.
"Two things, then I'll let you sleep. First, call me Asuka. And second, tomorrow, I'm gonna take both of you out for some ice-cream. Ok?"
"Ok, Sor- ...er, A-Asuka. Does Rei-chan know? Can I tell her tomorrow?" he asks, almost sounding eager.
"Of course you can tell her, little baka-Shinji. She was asleep before I could say anything." Asuka says, her smile taking away any sting from her calling him stupid.
"Now, back to bed for you, Herr Shinji. It's late, and we should be asleep." she said with mock annoyance, standing and setting Shinji on the floor.
Both of them yawning, Asuka leads Shinji back to his room and packs him into bed. Wishing him a good night, she goes back and lays down in her own bed.
Her memories clear and her dream starting to go hazy, Asuka tries to straighten out what she can remember of it.
No... it wasn't real... Shinji is only ten after all. sighing, Asuka tries for a few more moments to recapture the feeling of reality the dream had given her, but can't. She also fails to get rid of the feeling that the dream was important somehow.
I'll just have to keep an eye out... make contingency plans in case any of it does come true. If it was like a vision or something, then I'll be prepared.
As she drifts back to sleep, she remembers that the chief scientist was going to call tomorrow and schedule her first synch-test here. Hoping it won't interfere with her plans like the synch-tests in her dream did, she falls asleep.
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AN:
This is the first page of my first multi-chapter story. I'm going to go for the whole series.
I intended to write several chaps before slowly uploading them about one a week, but before I go to Basic I wanted to get the first chap up, so here it is. Hope you enjoyed it, and helpful reviews are welcome.
Keep Strong!
DA