Author's Note: For once, I actually watched the end of season eight, braving that creepy looking mustache. I was a little surprised at Hyde's reaction to Jackie and Fez. I figured the writers would have had Hyde be indifferent. But, alas, he wasn't and this little thing was born. Hope you like it.
PS: The title of this story--I just realised--is a Elton John song. Find the lyrics, I think it explains Hyde.
Steven Hyde had a habit of not being honest with himself.
Because if he were, he might have told Donna that he really wasn't happy with Samantha at all, and he was only mimicking what he felt for Jackie, but that would have spawned a conversation with truths he couldn't face.
If he were honest, he would have admitted that he and Sam had had to find new places to have sex because she wasn't freaking amazing Jackie Burkhart.
But he wasn't, so when he took the lace bra from Mrs. Forman's hand, he told himself that it was just because sex in the missionary position on a bed wasn't any fun after a while (although it had never lost its charm with Jackie).
If he were honest, he would have admitted that the idea of Fez being with Jackie was unbearable because he still loved her with all his heart and soul. But he just said Fez the bottom of the food chain, that she had sunk too low.
If he were honest, he wouldn't have tacked on the "I hear Bob's available" comment and say what he wanted to say—if it didn't work out with Fez, he would always be there; all she had to do was look at him with those eyes.
He might have admitted that it killed him to think his perverted friend could give Jackie all she ever wanted, the things he couldn't give her, no matter how much he loved her. Grand gestures and romantic words were not his way of expression.
Granted, his forms of expression tended to be hard to understand.
And the disco burning? He really only wanted to see Jackie all riled up. Fez with a drunken slut, her favourite music being destroyed. When he threatened to set her fire should she interrupt his plans, he really meant he was going to kiss her senseless and make her feel what she had felt when they "proved their love." Something he had been wanting to do since he came back from Vegas—the need had doubled since Sam left.
Also, it was an excellent excuse to slap her ass again. He just couldn't resist.
If he were honest with himself, he would have admitted he was both relieved and angry when Fez said he turned down Jackie. Relieved because it meant they wouldn't be together; angry because Jackie was beautiful, and Fez should be lucky she even considered him. She could have anyone she wanted.
But he just pretended to be annoyed with it all in his typical pre-Jackie demeanour.
He didn't expect her to be vengeful, though. It stung him although he had no right to be hurt that she'd moved on.
He egged Fez on, told him to get his own revenge. Wanted to destroy it before it started.
Should he choose not to bury the truth deep, he might have told himself that the real feeling welling up inside of him at the sight of Fez's car was not amusement but pride—she was so badass, his doll.
Still, when she was telling Fez she had every right to destroy his car, Hyde felt a brief glimpse of relief—she was still such a shallow princess. Then he glanced up at her, heart beating wildly, and brought up the foreign man's crying, knowing she liked her men more manly than that, and hoped it worked.
Of course it did.
It didn't change the fact, though, that Jackie wrapped in a towel still looked hot with the green hair. Or that he felt an overwhelming urge to hit his friend when he called Jackie ugly (inside or outside, she was still, and would always be, beautiful to Hyde).
He also couldn't help feeling triumphant.
It was short lived though. The chance of losing Fez forever made her run back to the foreigner.
He wished she'd run back to him.
He was glad when Donna pointed out it could be a disaster or catastrophe. He hoped it was a catastrophe; he hoped Fez screwed up enough to make her come running to him so he could pull his hero act, and try to prove to her he really was sorry, even if the words could never pass his lips. He wanted her to know he loved being her hero.
He wanted this nightmare to be over. He wanted her.
If he were honest with himself—and now he was learning honesty within his own mind eased the pain some, so he tried to be—he would admit that he knew Jackie burrowed herself deep into his heart and time would not erase his doll from within him. He would admit his biggest wish—the only hope keeping him together, all he had to do was wait a little and change (if only his brain was faster than his mouth; it was his first instinct to her hurt her since Sam came)—was that by the end of next decade, Jacqueline Beulah Burkhart would be Jacqueline Beulah Hyde.
But that was only if he was willing to tell himself the truth.
And Steven Hyde liked to hide behind his lies.