Emotionless. I sit, parked in God only knows where. All I can remember is getting in my broken down piece of shit car and just driving off. Too upset with life to even decide where the hell I was going to go. All I can remember was quietly leaving my house before the sun came up. I had packed a bag and placed in my trunk the night before. I was leaving and this time I was going to look forward and not look back. It had been the last straw. I was so sick and tired of things just not going well for me. I noticed from a young age that as I got older and older that I just began to not only lose my mind and complete sanity, but the people around me were starting to slowly disappear as well. I just grew tired of everyone and everything. Working a bullshit job that was paying barely minimum wage to going to college to get a degree I had no business getting. By the time I turned twenty one, I was just a lost cause. Before I left the house, I crept into my little sister's bedroom and kissed her on the forehead. She was one of the sole reasons I stuck around for a long time. Probably one of the reasons I didn't run off and join the military when I was 18. I grabbed my keys, my pillow and blankets and took them to the back of my car. Made sure I had my wallet, toothbrush, hair gel, and the essentials basically. And before I knew it, I was gone. The majority of my morning was me getting gas and food and deciding which way to go. It would be a few hours before people began to wonder where I went. Which lead me here? Here I was sitting in my car, looking up at the sky asking the man upstairs to send me a sign. Send me a sign that will get me out of this rut. For years, I spent my childhood and adolescence worrying about others. Worrying about whether or not my Father was going to walk out again. Worrying about whether my Mother was going to attempt suicide once more. Worrying about whether or not my sister was going to try to run away from home again. I forgot about the one thing that mattered most, myself. I became so wrapped up in everyone else's life that I completely forgot about my own. That was all about to change, for the first time in my life, I was going to worry about the one person that should have mattered most, myself. Although that can come across as conceded, can you blame me?
As I sat in my car with the seat reclined back, heater on high, Dog in the passenger seat. That's one thing I can say I have ever done right. I may not have any children but God damn it; I raised one hell of a canine. He hears me talking out loud about him, his ears are up. Makes me laugh and is about the only thing that brings a smile to my face. I'm quite damn surprised that he's been so calm since we left this morning. It was already dark into the night and it had been at least twelve hours since I left home. I heard a noise coming from my pocket. Phone is vibrating. Sweet, people are going to begin harassing me asking when I am coming home. If they only knew I wasn't. Wherever this car breaks down is just where I am going to stay, for the time being. I looked at the phone and saw I had received one new text message from Jon. Why was he texting me this late? Jon and I have been best friends for close to twelve years. Ever since he and I were in Elementary school, He was always a year older but somehow whenever we managed to hang out, I was the one always with the level head. We were inseparable. Usually wherever I went he went and vice versa. We sort of made a pact that we would if we went out on our own we would go together. Guess that was out the window. I knew if I didn't text him back, he would bother the piss out of me until I answered, "Ugh" I thought to myself, what now?
"Dude, where the fuck are you?"
"Out."
"Bro, everyone is going nuts wondering where you are. Everything okay? I get a call from your parents and they say you weren't in your bed and your car is gone. Your parents are worried sick."
"I'm fine. Go to sleep."
"I will once you prove you are okay and not in the backseat of some mass murder's car. Prove It"
"Don't you think if I was in the back of some mass murder's car I'd be texting you right now? Really Jon?"
"Well, how do I know you're okay?"
"Ugh this motherfucker won't take the hint." as I was about to send the next text message, I quickly turned on the light on the inside of my car. I picked up Gage (That's my Dog's name by the way, In case you were wondering.) and I snapped a quick photo. SELFIE! I thought to myself but there was no one around to laugh with me. Boy, I was going to need to get use to that feeling of being alone. Annnnd send!
"Happy now?"
"Where are you?"
"The road."
"And you couldn't have told anyone you were leaving?"
"I guess that was a douche move on my part."
"Let everyone know I am fine."
"The question is: When are you coming home?"
"I'm not."
"Okay. LOL."
"I'm serious Jon, I'm not coming home. Let the folks know that. I am not coming home."
"So you basically want me to tell your parents you just up and left and not tell them at least where you're going to give them peace of mind?"
"For what? Why is everyone so shocked now that I left? I grew tired of taking care of everyone and playing babysitter. Time for me to do me."
"Riiiiight…."
"I could sit here and explain but I don't expect anyone to understand. Just me and Gage."
"You took the dog? Lol"
"Duh, I couldn't do this entirely alone. Ha. He's loving the car ride. Anyways, I'll TTYL because I'm about to head back on the road. I'll call you or text you sometime tomorrow. Night."
"Be careful you crazy asshole."
With that being said, I put the phone back to charge in the small outlet I had in my car. The sun won't be out for a few hours. Lucky for me, I managed to save the last couple thousands of dollars in my bank account. I never really knew what I was going to do with it. Fix my car perhaps? Buy some new shoes? Well now it was going to come in handy. I used my phone to find a nearby twenty four hour market. I needed to make sure I had enough dog food for the four legged passenger. I also needed a pillow. Fuck, I needed to sleep. Where the hell were we anyways? Even I didn't know. I knew I started bright and early in the morning in Orlando and have been driving for hours now. It's now almost four in the morning. I could either head north or head to the west side. Still didn't have any inkling of a clue as to where the hell I wanted to go. Here's exactly what I was talking about, you know? Being a lost cause and all. Well for now, It appeared Gage and I were somewhere outside of South Carolina. There was a hotel about twenty miles or so. Figured I'd sneak the pup inside seeing as it was beyond freezing outside. I sat up and readjusted my seat. I made sure Gage was in his seat all covered and warm. I turned on the car and I was off once again.
About a half hour later, I pulled in the hotel parking lot. It was pretty deserted but then again we were somewhere outside of South Carolina. Hapeville was the name. I turned off the car and ran inside to see if there was any rooms available. Which was stupid on my part because the place was deserted. I walked inside to see an older man and a woman at the desk. They had to be in their 60's or 70's. I walked up to the desk and they greeted me. The older man reminded me of Arthur from the show King of Queens. He was not very tall but appeared to be a nice person. His wife reminded me of the mother from Everybody Loves Raymond, except older. Just picture Doris Roberts but way older.
"Hello young man. Welcome to the Sleep Inn."
"Hello sir, Hello Mam. Are there any rooms available?"
"Why yes, we have rooms available. We have a full size bed for $38 a night. Will that be okay?"
"Yeah, I just want to get inside. It's freezing outside."
"Oh of course, what brings you here to Hapeville? You look awfully young. How old are you, Young man?"
"21."
"What's a young lad like you doing out this late all by yourself?"
"Road travels sir. Lots and Lots of Road travels. Just decided to up and leave the coop and do my own thing. Explore life."
"Spontaneous eh?"
"I guess you can say so. Before I pay anything or get comfortable, I do have my dog in the car with me. He is pretty much all I have with me right now."
"Oh well we really do not allow pets here. We have a no pet policy." The older man spoke. Shit, this was just wonderful, at this point, my car was sounding like an awesome place to sleep at the moment.
"What breed of dog do you have if I may ask?"
"He's a Boston Terrier. His name is Gage. Would you like to meet him? He's in my car. I promise you, he's very friendly and I promise if you just let us crash here for the night, we will be out first thing in the morning." I pleaded. For fucks sake just say yes.
"Let's meet the little fella, go get your things kid." The older man said. "Betty, get a key to one of the vacant rooms." He asked his wife, I quickly ran outside to get my duffle bag from the trunk of my car and a suitcase which had some more clothes along with Gage's bowl and bag of dog food. Holy Toledo it was freezing out. I opened the passenger seat and picked up my best friend. Blanket and all, I closed the door behind me and locked up and we headed back inside. There the man was with his wife waiting with a key in hand.
"Sir, Mam, This is Gage. As you can see, he is a little shy as he's wrapped up in his blanket. Normally he is a pain in my butt always wanting to play but I guess this weather tells a different story." I explained to them.
"How long have you both been on the road?"
"Well, I started in Orlando last night and well now I am here. Still debating on whether or not to keep heading north and make my way up towards New York City or to head to the west coast. I hear the weather is nice out there."
"Well you can decide that tomorrow. Here is your room key. You will be in room 174. Right here on the first floor so if you need to walk your friend you will be close to the entrance. My wife cooks up breakfast in the morning around 6AM. If you are awake, you are more than welcomed to join us."
I took out my wallet and went to pay them. But the man declined my payment. "Kid, I have been where you are at. Normally, I would say you are more than likely making a big mistake but that would be hypocritical of me. All I will offer is this advice: Trust no one, and keep reaching for the moon, because even if you miss you will still land amongst the stars."
Wow, that really hit me, I just met this man and his wife not even twenty minutes ago and they were so nice. Why? Why me? Maybe I was just really tired and needed sleep. Maybe when I wake up tomorrow, they will be two redneck hillbillies waiting to turn Gage into stew. I watch way too many movies.
"Thank you sir. I didn't catch your name. I apologize for that, what was it?"
"My name is Jim and this is my wife Betty."
"Thank you so much Mr. Jim and Mrs. Betty. I appreciate you both so much. Gage and I both do.
"You are most certainly welcome. And what was your name young man?"
"Joe. My name is Joe."
"Well Mr. Joe, you have yourself a nice night's sleep." He said to me then looking at Gage, "You too little fella."
With that being said, I took rolled my bag on over to the room. 174. I took the key and opened it up. It was a decent room. There was a small TV and a full sized bed. It felt right at home. Part of me missed my bed at my Parent's house. Right now I could be snuggled in my bed with my pillow. Sometimes I wonder why I chose to do things the hard way. I guess that was life. I changed into some sweatpants and removed my shirt. I crawled underneath the comforter that was on the bed and Gage came right next to me and before I could even blink, we were both sound asleep. I hope in my dreams life would get easier from here but I know that this was so far from the truth. Reality struck in. You made your bed, now lie in it. (No pun intended) There's no turning back now.