I Can't Unlove You
Disclaimer: I own no one!
A/N-Thanks to KazzaXtreme for helping me
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Sealing the box, I sigh. It contains much more than just postcards and letters.
This box contains lost hope, forlorn love and dreams that will never come true.
Tears fill my eyes. Yet, I just wipe my eyes and act like they are nothing. Dave Bautista doesn't cry.
My heart's broken. I don't know if it'll ever heal. She meant so much to me. Sitting here, I can't help but wonder what went wrong and if I'll ever love again.
Melina's touch echoes through my apartment. The soft scent of perfume lingers in the air. The lacy curtains dance in the wind.
How can she be here without being here?
Glancing at my hands, I can still feel her touch. It's nearly as though my hands remember. Is that even possible? I'm going insane. She's all I think about. She torments me constantly and all I remember is how much I love her.
Taking the box to the dump, I hope this is the first step to healing. At the rate I'm going, I'll be in a padded room at Bellevue by the time I'm set to hit the road.
Before Melina, I hated love. After Melina, I just want to love her. What is going on with me?
I lived without love before her. I can live without love after her…can't I?
I try to convince myself I don't need her. She just brought me down, especially toward the end. I don't need her to survive.
That's a lie. I can't convince myself of what my heart knows is a lie. If anything, I lived for her love. She raised me up.
With the dump behind me, I struggle to remember what I did before her.
Scarily enough, I can't remember.
Am I losing my mind? Is the great Dave Bautista finally losing his mind?
I might as well be.
She drove me crazy, with everything she did. The way she laughed, the way she wrinkled her nose when she got mad, it annoyed me. Then again, it was a good annoyance. It didn't really bother me.
When will I forget her? When will I be able to move on? I'm not a weak man, but I want her gone.
I hoped ridding my apartment of every trace of her would help. It hasn't. I just miss her more.
My friend told me he saw her yesterday, with her new boyfriend. He told me she looked happy, something she wasn't towards the end of our relationship.
Randy keeps offering to hook me up with one of his friends. She's perfect, he tells me. I'm tempted. Maybe dating someone else is just the medicine I need. It couldn't hurt, could it?
Dave, this isn't working. I need space. I love you. I always will, but I'm not in love with you.
The worst words I've ever heard. I thought she was the one; the one I was destined to spend eternity with, the one who made me whole. I guess I was wrong.
Days pass. As each day passes, I realize I am healing, slowly but healing nonetheless. I finally accept Randy's blind date.
Christy Hemme is something, fiery, fun, everything Melina wasn't. She makes me smile, something I haven't done in a long time. She's just what I need.
Then, I went back on the road.
My very first night back, I saw her, talking to Johnny, her new boyfriend. I can't explain what seeing her with him made me feel. All of a sudden, I was back in our apartment.
I thought I was healing! Why was I feeling like this all of a sudden? What could I do?
I took a deep breath, inhaling slowly. I love her, no matter what I try to do. I'm just going to have to come to terms with that.
"Dave!" Melina calls. I pretend not to hear her. If I speak to her, I'm going to make an idiot of myself. "Can I talk to you?" Slowly, I nod, unsure of what else to say. "Dave, we split on bad terms. I feel really bad. Can we still be friends?" Once again, I'm at a loss for words. What can I say? How can I tell her that since she's been gone, I've felt as if I was going crazy?
"Yes," Then, she kisses my cheek.
How many times have I dreamt of feeling her kiss? My heart skips a beat. My palms grow moist. She's got me under her spell again.
I love Christy- I swear I do. She makes me happy. She's the only one who can make me laugh. Randy even mentioned that she'd make a great wife.
Great wife? I can't even face my ex without falling under her spell! Plus Christy is trying to get over Johnny. She talks about him every now and then. He broke her heart- much like what Melina did to me. For once, I want to go slowly.
I've reached a major conclusion.
Melina is a part of my past. It will take a long time, but I will eventually move on. I'll always love her, even if she's not in love with me.
My phone rings. Glancing down, I grin. It's Christy. She promised she wouldn't call me until late. I'm glad to see she broke her promise.
"Dave!"
"Chris!"
"Christy,"
"Whatever"
I find Melina's spell has broken, even if I love her.
THE END