Disclaimer: I don't own anything at all from Make It or Break It. All property belong to ABC Family.
Summer knew that she would always be second best. His second choice. She always knew that he would drop anything he was doing for her at any given moment. Whether it be in the middle of the night or in the middle of the day, Summer just knew that she would always come first. Summer was never a jealous person, but when it came to Sasha Belov, she felt different, strange, even. It wasn't him, it was all her. She wanted to be everything he wanted. She knew deep down though, that she couldn't. She couldn't even come close. She couldn't be the limber gymnast he secretly wanted; she didn't have the determination or fire that she had. Sometimes, when he thought she wasn't looking, he would sit at his desk and stare intently at his gymnast through the glass window, his first choice for several minutes. Summer noticed that when he did this, his whole being changed. His eyes conveyed the love that he held for her; his face was always relaxed when watching her. Summer wished that he would look at her that way. She wished that Sasha would look at her like she was his world; like she was his everything. That look and intensity was only reserved for one person. She knew it was. She sometimes wondered if he was just bidding his time, sitting in the wings waiting for the appropriate opportunity to go and be with his first choice. She knew going into this, that it wouldn't last. Summer knew she was only a place holder until she was old enough, until she wasn't his gymnast anymore. Even if he didn't know it yet. She knew, just by watching him, watch her, that the young athlete had tumbled right into his heart. In a few short months she had unknowingly, became Sasha Belov's everything. Everything that Sasha did, seemed to come back to his first choice. His coaching ideas, his attitudes, and his moods, seemed to go in sync with his star athlete; his favorite gymnast; and his preferred choice. Summer recently figured that one out. Summer noticed that when she was irritated or upset, he was irritated or upset. She often times tried to talk to him or lure him out of his bad mood, but to no avail it didn't work. It didn't work because Summer wasn't her; could never be her. She knew that what her and Sasha had would be nothing more than a past romance, if you could even call it that. Summer knew that Sasha was waiting for the time when he could have everything with her. She knew that he wanted a wife, children, and a family one day. He wanted that with someone who understood him, loved him, and was similar to him. Summer knew she could never be that person. That person was already in his life; that person already had his heart. She could never compete with that.
She glanced around to see Sasha, once again, staring at his gymnasts through the glass window. She saw the look in his eyes and knew that he was focused on one person and one person only. He was intently watching her again. This time, his eyes held something more than his usual emotions of love in them. They held love in them, but something more. Summer tried to decipher what it was in his eyes that she had seen. She finally came to realize that not only was there love in Sasha's eyes for his gymnast, but also longing, determination, and hope. The emotions in his eyes as he watched her, only confirmed what Summer already knew. She knew that he had found his other half; his match. Summer tried to brush the hurt aside, but found it was harder then she thought it would be. She decided that she would pretend that it was okay and that it didn't hurt. She would go on acting normal, until the end came. An end that she knew was coming in the not-so-distant future. She decided to play along in this charade, until the very end. She looked over at Sasha and decided to start her acting. She spoke for the first time all morning.
"So Sasha, it's been awhile since you and I went out. Your always in the gym." She looked at him to see, he finally took notice of her.
His eyes changed from loving to tolerant, as he glanced at her. He heaved a quiet sigh before answering. "It's close to the World's Trials and the girls need more practice time. Payson especially. I haven't really had time to spend my evenings out. Maybe after World's is out of the way."Summer knew he was making excuses. He preferred to spend time in the gym with his athletes, with his first choice, than to spend it with her. She looked over to see Sasha getting up from his desk, making a quick escape from her glances and questioning eyes.
"I couldn't do anything tonight anyway, Summer. I'm going to help Payson on her new floor routine after everyone else leaves for the night."
She watched as he made his way out of the office and into the gym. She gave a sigh as her thoughts continued from earlier. She knew he would say something like that to get out of doing something with her. She knew that if given the choice he would always choose her. She knew that she could never be Sasha Belov's other half in gymnastics nor could she be his other half for life. She knew in her heart that she could never be his wife, the mother of his future children, or his soul-mate. She could never be Payson Keeler.