On the evening before her wedding day, Brightness Shallan was having her hair brushed by her new attendants, girls about her own age she had never really spoken to before and would rather have done without. But apparently, once you got married to an Alethi highprince, brushing your own hair became out of the question. She refused, however, to let them dress her, so she dismissed them with an awkward 'thank you' and heaved a sigh of relief when she was finally alone. Chatting quietly with Pattern, she went into her bedroom and was just about to unbutton her safehand sleeve, when there was a knock on the door of her sitting room. Who would visit her so late? She grinned – perhaps it was Adolin, come to sneak a kiss before going to bed – but when she opened the door, it was Jasnah Kholin standing there, holding a wrapped parcel.
"Brightness," Shallan said, surprised. She quickly dipped into a curtsy after a glance at the thin crown encircling Jasnah's brow.
Jasnah waved a hand in dismissal. "None of that, Shallan. I apologize for disturbing you so late - my duties prevented me from visiting you sooner. May I come in?"
"Of course," Shallan said, scrambling backwards and hiding a number of sketches that were strewn out on her table, one of which was a sketch of Jasnah herself, looking solemn and regal during her coronation ceremony.
"I see they've found you new rooms," Jasnah said, looking around approvingly. "This must be an improvement over the room you had in Sebarial's quarter."
"Yes," Shallan said, though in truth she was already starting to miss the simplicity of those days. "Umm… would you like to sit down?"
She awkwardly gestured toward some chairs that had been arranged for her around a delicate little table. How did you properly receive the Queen of Alethkar in your sitting room? Shallan was sure there must be some procedure involved that she was completely missing, but Jasnah didn't seem bothered by her lack of decorum as she chose a chair and sat down. She suddenly looked rather tired. Shallan placed herself gingerly in a chair on the other side of the table, searching for something to say.
"So… how's queening going so far?"
Jasnah raised an eyebrow. "Queening is a great responsibility, Shallan."
"Yeah…" Shallan said, then grinned. "But don't tell me there isn't just a little part of you that likes bossing everybody around."
Jasnah gave her a reproving look, but then seemed to suppress a smile. This child. She held out the parcel she had brought, wrapped in Kholin blue velvet.
"A gift, for your wedding. I know I should have given it to you tomorrow, but then it would have gotten lost among all the other gifts you will be receiving. I wanted to hand this to you personally."
Shallan was touched, and took the parcel from Jasnah without a single quip. It was heavy. Knowing Jasnah, it would probably be a book. Or, you know, several books. Shallan grinned as she unwrapped the gift and saw the big leather book there – only it had no title, and when she opened it, she found that the pages were blank.
"A sketchbook, for your drawings," Jasnah said.
Shallan ran her freehand wonderingly over the rich paper, the creamy blankness of the pages calling out to her. Quality sketching paper was becoming increasingly hard to find, what with the war and everything, so she appreciated this. The cover was made of finest leather, also Kholin blue.
"Turn it over," Jasnah said.
Shallan did so, and found that the other side was finely embossed in gold, bearing the words 'Property of Shallan Kholin'. She looked up at Jasnah, surprised but pleased.
"You are family now," Jasnah said. She was not smiling, but regarded Shallan warmly. "I do not take that lightly."
"Thank you, Your Majesty", Shallan said, remembering her manners.
"Please don't do that", Jasnah said, leaning back in her chair and massaging her temples. "I don't feel very majestic tonight."
"What should I call you then?"
"What you always called me before", Jasnah said, with an impatient wave of her hand. "Or, well, cousin." Now she did smile.
The smile made her seem softer, more approachable… Shallan shifted in her seat, suddenly nervous, and Jasnah frowned.
"Is there anything you want to say, child? Don't sit there squirming like that, out with it."
"Well, it's just… can I ask you something?"
"That's usually the best way to get an answer."
"I was just… well, tomorrow is my wedding night, and, well, I have a few questions…"
Jasnah stiffened in her seat, her expression slightly alarmed.
"I really don't think I am the right person to talk to about that sort of thing, Shallan."
"I don't really have anyone else, you see, what with not having a mother and everything."
"Perhaps you can find someone else to talk to? My mother, perhaps?"
"We're not really that close", Shallan mumbled. "And, you know, you are my mentor."
Jasnah quickly tried to size up the situation. How ignorant was her ward, exactly, in this respect? One of the advantages of men not being able to read, was the fact that this sort of information could be disseminated fairly easily among women, but Shallan had not had a mother to provide her with the appropriate literature. In fact, she had had such a sheltered youth… Jasnah sighed inwardly. Was this really her duty? Queening suddenly didn't seem like such a burden anymore.
"Alright", she said. "What do you want to talk about?"
She closed her eyes and braced herself. Please don't ask about any squishy bits.
"Well," Shallan started, clearly relieved. "First of all, I can now show Adolin my safehand, right? I mean, once we're married?
Jasnah Kholin fervently thanked a God she did not believe in. "Yes, of course Shallan."
"Just wanted to make sure", the girl grinned, then shifted uncomfortably again, and Jasnah had a sudden foreboding that this had only been a warm-up question.
"Anything else?" she asked, trying not to let her apprehension show.
"No", Shallan replied, "because when people say 'first of all', that usually indicates they only want to discuss one thing."
Jasnah simply raised an eyebrow at her until the girl blushed and looked away.
"Sorry", she said. "I can't seem to help myself sometimes."
"Look", Jasnah said, feeling supremely uncomfortable, "I'm sure it is perfectly normal to be nervous at a… time like this, but I'm fairly confident Adolin will know what to do. I believe that there are certain aspects of the female anatomy that may be baffling to most men at first, but I have certain books I could lend you if you would like to read up on the technicalities…"
Shallan's entire face had turned a bright, luminous red by this point, and shamespren were erupting around her head like falling flower petals.
"Oh… no!" she gasped. "That's not at all what I wanted to ask you about! I mean… wow, no."
"Well, what is it then?" Jasnah asked, starting to feel impatient.
Shallan suddenly looked small, and very young. "Jasnah, what if I become pregnant?"
The older woman took a moment to consider, a pensive expression in her violet eyes. "Is this not something you want? I believe most women long to be mothers at some point."
"Well, I suppose", Shallan said. "At some point. But there's a war going on right now."
Jasnah nodded thoughtfully. "Yes. We don't know what the world will look like in the future. I understand your anxiety."
"And I'm a Knight Radiant!" the girl continued, "I'm expected to fight! I want to fight! So I was wondering… do you know of… of any herbs or something that a woman might take to… prevent such things?"
Jasnah considered for a moment, then nodded. "I'll send our best surgeon to see you tomorrow morning, before anyone else. She's likely to be able to provide you with something."
"But are these things reliable?" Shallan asked, sounding strained.
"Honestly, I can't say."
"Have… have you ever taken any?" Shallan asked in a small voice.
Jasnah gave her a cool look. "That is a very personal question."
Shallan blushed, looking away, and Jasnah relented.
"I understand your worry, child", she said. "However, all I can say is that I'll send you the surgeon. She will be able to provide you with more information."
Shallan nodded, looking at her hands in her lap, and Jasnah continued.
"But I will say this. While a child at this time might be an unwanted burden on you, Shallan, you will not have to carry it alone. From tomorrow onward, you will be part of the Kholin family, and we take care of each other. Any child you and my cousin may have will receive all of the care and protection that I can provide."
She leaned forward in her chair, and waited until Shallan looked up and met her eyes.
"I promise you, Shallan. You are not alone in this."
The girl hesitated, then nodded, seeming to have found some inner resilience. "Thank you", she whispered.
Jasnah snapped back to her usual, efficient ways. "Well then, if that is all, I think I'll return to my rooms. After all, you have an important day tomorrow."
Shallan jumped up as Jasnah rose and walked towards the door, relieved to be done with the conversation. But as she turned one last time towards Shallan, she thought the girl looked a bit less tense, and she allowed herself to hope that she hadn't made the situation worse, at least.
"Go to sleep now, child", she said, then smiled. "Tomorrow you are marrying arguably the best of the Kholins."
At the mention of Adolin, Shallan brightened. "Yes", she said. "He is rather wonderful, isn't he?"
The girl was smiling to herself as she closed the door.