OK, so this is pretty much me poking fun of the fact the Movie Autobots can't drive worth crap. This is the sequel to Renaissance where Jazz is brought back to life, so if you haven't read that one yet-
DO IT!
Merci boucoup,
DJ Rae
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Transformers, I just own this story!
'I've heard of being taught how to drive, but this is freaking ridiculous!' he thought as he held onto the upholstery for dear life. He wished he was driving with Bumblebee and Mikaela instead of this megalomaniac; Speeding down the highway in a black blur. Why did he agree to help the Autobots learn how to drive better? Oh, yeah that's right: last week Jazz 'accidently' ran a sports car off the road, Ratchet rear-ended a Prius at a red light, and Optimus (God forbid) always drove 80 miles ABOVE the speed limit. Bumblebee and Ironhide were living time bombs.
It was two months after the Autobots had arrived on Earth, after the devastating Mission City battle, after the miraculous resurrection of Jazz.
The solstice was healthy and well, after much needed time to recover and 'heal'. He remembered only a few hours before when the Autobots had asked him and his girlfriend to teach them to drive better (A.K.A.-No collisions, no recklessness, no speeding, and no hitting animals and realizing it 5 miles down the road.)
Poor Sam, he had never thought it would be so hard. After all, the Autobot's entire race consisted of transforming beings that changed into mobile vehicles. One would think they would have a better understanding of driving.
But no; here he was- trapped in a modified GMC Topkick 6500 pickup truck which was currently running other rivers off the road.
"For the love of all that is holy! Ironhide, slow the hell down!" Sam screamed as he dug his fingers into the seats. The black Autobot paid no heed and banked a sharp left before taking off at full speed towards a splitting bridge- already on the rise. Any color left in Sam automatically drained; leaving the boy looking as if he saw a ghost. He heard a rough growl come from the radio.
"Gah! Loosen the grip, boy; that hurts!" the weapons specialist snarled.
Sam, however, was more preoccupied with the fact that they were about a fourth of a mile from starting up a slanted, and still slanting, bridge.
He was fucked. Purely, 100 F-u-c-k-e-d. He almost felt tears spring to his eyes when he thought of the morning time just a few hours prior to this nightmare; when he had agreed to help the Autobots. 'Stupid idea- Stupid, stupid, stupid!' He hated himself even more when he saw the bridge they were driving on was still rising at a fast pace. "Ironhide, what they hell are you doing?! " Sam all but screamed.
"Driving." Came the curt reply.
Half-way up and Sam was having a heart-attack; his brown eyes wide. "Off a freakin' bridge?" he yelled in panic. Why, Why, WHY did he agree to this? He was shaking with tears almost streaming down his face.
The answer came swiftly and bluntly; "Yup. Now shut your vocals, sit back, stop gouging my seats, and watch this."
He'd rather not…
But still, all Sam could do was hold on as they finally reached the point of acceleration- and Ironhide, the demonic Autobot that he was- held nothing back in the long run of things. The boy let out a fear-filled yell as the bot went as fast as his tires would carry him; which, unfortunately for Sam, was VERY fast. Reaching the top of the ramped bridge; Ironhide didn't slow down at all; instead he revved his engines loudly as Sam let out another strangled cry- the tires leaving asphalt and cruising through the air itself.
The trapped teenager inside dared to look out the window for a look below and regretted it when he spotted a barge and deep, blue water underneath the Topkick's mass.
The poor boy nearly fainted. Praying to whatever God could hear him; Sam gripped the wheel as Ironhide went in for a crash landing on the other side of the bridge. Rubber hit the road and the speed
didn't decline. The black Autobot took off- slowing down only about 2 miles. His amused voice called out to Sam from the radio.
"Heh heh! That wasn't so bad, now was it, boy?" he all but laughed out loud.
Sam- the poor thing- was in total shock; his body stiff, his eyes wide, face pale. Ironhide activated his internal optical sensors and only laughed more. "What's a matter, Sam? My driving can't be that bad."
He watched as Sam opened his mouth to say something-but no sound would generate.
Grimacing internally-the bot hailed Optimus over his comm. link 'Hey, Prime; I think I may have killed Sam."
He knew Optimus wouldn't be happy (and neither would Mikaela); after all, the leader owed Sam a life-debt. He and the others had been left behind after Ironhide had an urge for speed.
He heard the older mech respond with an annoyed tone. 'Not again Ironhide, you have to stop going so fast and listen to what Sam tells you to do- they are teaching us. Just send us your coordinates and we'll meet you there.'
Ironhide cut the connection and looked for a place to pull off. It didn't take long to spot a construction site that was empty. Bursting through the gates at his speed was like cutting butter. Pulling into a donut landing; he shut off and began to poke Sam verbally. Trying to keep himself occupied until Mikaela could pull the boy out of him- seeing how Sam was practically melded to his seats.
It didn't take long until Prime, Jazz, Ratchet and Bumblebee rolled into the lot. He saw Mikaela get out of Bumblebee with a pissed look written on her face and felt like he was watching the unmaker of reality approach him. The other four transformed into their respective robotic forms while the black-haired girl reached inside and pulled out her boyfriend. Said boyfriend instantly collapsed on the ground; shaking. As Ironhide returned to robot form, he looked bashfully down to Mikaela, who instantly looked at him with murder in her eyes. "What. Did. You. Do?" she emphasized. The other four Autobots staring him down too. Well, Jazz was staring UP at him. Optimus looked pissed, but not at all surprised, Bumblebee looked amused, having warned Sam he was going to be in for the ride of his life with Ironhide, Ratchet had lost interest in him and had gone to observe the act that the boy was forced to do, Jazz just smirked- knowing Mikaela would kick the slag out of him; regardless of height, mass, or race…come to think of it- Mikaela was probably the only thing Ironhide DID fear. Who could blame him? The girl's anger made Megatron's wrath look like a pillow fight…
Bumblebee laughed, looking at Sam's current condition. "From the looks of things, I would have to say that Ironhide just took him to Hell and back again." The yellow mech teased.
Ironhide quickly retorted. "Not to Hell- over a bridge…that was moving."
Mikaela's shoulders slumped in annoyance. "You went over the rising bridge. When it was rising?!" She shouted at the black mech, who was just rubbing the back of his helm.
The weapon's specialist was saved from the girl's wrath when Sam started to heave. Mikaela bent down and started to rub his back soothingly, While Jazz walked over to Ironhide and patted his back a few times. "Way ta go, 'Hide- ya broke 'im." the Solstice poked.
"Did not!" he barked back; actually hoping he did no such thing for fear of what Mikaela would do to him. "But in light of things- that was real fun, we should do it again!" He chuckled.
Jazz swatted his helm mockingly. "Nuh-uh, T's mah turn now!" he laughed at Ironhide's face of anxiety.
That only caused Sam to purge again.
Mikaela looked up at the two Autobot's. "I think that's enough driving for one day, boys."
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
"Hey, did you get it yet?"
"It?"
"Yeah, I went and bought it yesterday."
"What is it?"
"It fit ok?"
"Uh-huh, fits perfectly and its going to look great."
"Could one of you please inform me as to what IT is?" Bumblebee asked; absolutely confused. Sam and Mikaela had been talking this way for some time now; and it was wearing the mech's nerves thin. The two teenagers snickered at Bumblebee's impatience before Sam cared to explain.
"We're talking about Mikaela's prom dress."
"Alright, elaboration might be helpful. What is a Prom? Or for that matter- a dress?" the Camaro asked. These humans had such strange terminology.
Sam and Mikaela both did their best to explain to Bumblebee WHAT prom was and WHY dresses were worn as the yellow Autobot drove down the busy highway in Tranquility. It was routine for the Guardian to drop off the two humans back to their homes even though the Decepticons were long gone and there was nothing more for him to protect them from. Since these rides started- Bumblebee started to get 'schooled' on all things Earthen; he now knew more about Terrestrial culture than Jazz did, and that annoyed the Solstice to no end. "…So at this Prom you humans go in pairs in strange dressings to 'dance'?" Bumblebee tried to elaborate, but this was so strange to him, Cybertronians would never do something so strange.
Sam shrugged, "Yup, pretty much. There's even a special type of dance for the couples called a slow-dance."
It didn't take another giant robot for the two humans to know that they had once again confused their friend.
"It's a really slowed down and romantic dance where only couples dance with one another." Mikaela looked over to her boyfriend. "I hope they play our song."
The Camaro ignited his radio and played the song they spoke of; the lyrics drifting through the car.
"I wander through fiction to look for the truth buried beneath all the lies. And I stood at a distance to feel who you are, hiding myself in your eyes. And hold on before it's too late, we'll run till we leave this behind. Don't fall, just be who you are; It's all that we need in our lives" The radio chimed out as the Autobot turned down the alleyway street behind Mikaela's house.
Mikaela leaned over and kissed Sam as she grabbed her purse, Bumblebee being polite and opening the door for her.
"I'll see you later, guys." She waved and walked up the steps to her porch. Sam returned the wave and the Camaro revved his engine, playing another song through his radio; Deff Lepard's Goodbye. The black-haired girl rolled her eyes in amusement before closing her door.
Sam chuckled, "You're a freak, you know that?" he teased the radio as the car started to roll down the street back to the freeway, heading to Sam's house.
"I would if you explained to me what exactly a 'freak' is." The Camaro retaliated. A strange silence fell over the normally talkative and show-offy Autobot; Sam immediately knew something was wrong- Bumblebee wasn't asking 10,000 questions like usual.
"Something up, Bee?" He asked as they made their way down the busy highway.
Bumblebee turned off his radio station and paused for a moment. "Do you regret it?" he asked quietly.
Sam cocked his head, thoroughly confused as to what his guardian wanted to know. "Regret what?"
Another pause, Great- now his guardian was becoming mute, and this time with no radio.
"Do you regret all of this? Meeting us? Helping us? Fighting the Decepticons and the whole ordeal we put you through?" A lot of questions. Nope Bumblebee was fine, just curious by the sound of it.
Sam snorted, half amused that his car would think like that. "No. Before you guys came along- well, my life sucked. Meeting you was the most exciting thing that ever happened to me. I mean, I'm currently riding in a giant Alien robot that can turn into a car. There was no way I could have ever imagined this happening to me." He smiled, "You saved my life, you got the girl of my dreams for me, and you stuck around with me; Bee, I couldn't regret this."
Bumblebee revved his engine happily at the answer he received as he sped up a little. "Thanks, Sam. But I was assigned to find and protect you by Optimus; it's my job. And I have a specialty of getting two people who like each other together as a couple." The Camaro beamed over his radio.
Sam chuckled, "oh really? Who are the others?"
"Jazz and his bondmate."
The boy raised an eyebrow. "Ok, your turn. What in the hell is a bondmate?"