Lunatic Parade-108
Written by Gabe "Stone Cold" Ricard
Disclaimer: Nothings mine…not even the concept…so don't sue.
Ah…another glorious Lunatic Parade…due to the fact my computer is now dead…all projects except final fantasy 7: season two and the Tenchi/Washu epic are gone…big disappointment I know but life goes on…take a deep breath and MOVE ON. Let's enjoy!
Lucia: Just play the song Jean
Jean: No!
Lucia: Please? Hiro really wanted you to play him in with that song.
Jean: Only if you send me some pictures
Lucia: Oh okay…I have a full album of them
Jean: ADULT pictures
Lucia: That's fine too…I have some pictures I took just last week!
Jean: Forget it…I'll just play the damn song
Lucia: He wants you to sing too
Jean: Rrrrr…(plays) Sometimes you wanna go…(Screams) WHERE EVERYBODY KNOWS YOUR NAMEEEEEE AND THEY'RE ALWAYS GLAD YOU CAMMEEEEEE!!!
(Hiro appears in his chair)
Hiro: Hello everyone and welcome to…a show…about…THINGS!
Ronfar: Really? I thought this was a show about candy canes
Hiro: Well you thought wrong…you FOOL!
Ronfar: So, what's it about?
Hiro: Smoking the ashes of dead elves! Watch (Takes out a dead elf cigarette and smokes it) mmmmm! This one was one of Snow Whites people!
Ruby: Those were dwarves you moron
Hiro: Hey, don't call me a moron! I'm very bright
Lemina: For a turnip
Hiro: Shut up Klepto-bitch!
Jean: Don't call her a Klepto-bitch!
Lemina: You stay out of my life slut!
Jean: You know your role c-
Ruby: ENOUGH!! Just send out the first guest
Hiro: Fine…tonight we have…Brittany Spears with us…
Leo: At last…
Hiro: Damn…how…did…YOU… get in? I ate your key so I wouldn't have to hear your stupid Tomato/Depression analogies
Leo: I have WICKED, SUPER, GNARLY POWERS!!!
Hiro: I see
Leo: I also cut off one of Ruby's claws as she slept and used it to carve my way in
Ruby: You did…(Looks at her right paw) SON OF A BITCH!!! (Burns Leo to a crisp)
Hiro: (Leans over the desk to scoop up some of the ashes. Rolls it into a cigarette and smokes it) Sweet! Leo tastes like a Sausage
Brittany: Are you guys going to ask me questions?
Ronfar: Are your boobs real?
Brittany: Why don't I come up there and show you…(Smiles)
Ronfar: I can see from here…in the control room
(Nall appears next to Ronfar and whispers in his ear)
Ronfar: With her EYE SOCKET?!
Nall: Yep
Ronfar: Wow…sure…come on up
(Brittany heads up to the control room. Nall is thrown out and Ronfar's monitor goes fuzzy)
Hiro: I wonder what they're doing
Lucia: Playing Clue
Hiro: Ah yes…I…knew that
Ruby: You did not
Hiro: I did too
Ruby: Hiro…let me ask you something
Hiro: Sure
Ruby: Do you know the Muffin Man?
Hiro: Not anymore…(sniffles)
Ruby: (Oblivious) Good…BECAUSE HE'S RIGHT BEHIND YOU WITH A KNIFE!!)
Hiro: (Turns around to see the Muffin Man) AHHHHHHHHH!!! (Muffin Man leaps onto Hiro and the two fall behind the desk fighting)
Jean: What in gods' name was that all about?
Ruby: I have sources
Jean: uh-huh
Ruby: For instance…I know Paul Reubens
Lucia: EVERYONE knows Paul Reubens
Ruby: Hiro doesn't…bad memories from PeeWee's Playhouse
(Mauri appears)
Mauri: Hi everyone…do you know how hard it is to get here? I don't know why you had to put this building in outer space
Ruby: Oh hey Mauri…here to see Ronfar?
Mauri: Yeah…where is he?
Jean: Upstairs banging Brittany Spears…we also think he's calling her "Mommy"
Mauri: (Laughs) Oh you guys are such kidders…what's that sound?
Lucia: Hiro is engaged in a battle to the death with the Muffin Man
Mauri: Ah…well I'll go see Ronfar (Leaves)
Ruby: I think we better leave
Jean: Good idea for once Ruby
Lucia: What about Hiro?
Ruby: Watch this…HEY MUFFIN MAN!
Muffin Man: (Stops Stabbing Hiro's leg and looks up) Yesssssssss?
Ruby: STARBUCKS!!
Muffin Man: AHHHH! NOOOO!! (Explodes)
Hiro: My leg! (Sobs)
Lucia: (Picks up Hiro and slings him over her back) Now let's go!
(Everyone runs)
Mauri: Knock! Knock! (Let's herself into the control room)
Ronfar: Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! (Sees Mauri) Oh…crap
End.
Wasn't that great? Damn right it was…keep and eye open for some more stuff…until then thanks for reading.