Kendall twisted the bracelet on his wrist repeatedly, bouncing a foot against the brown tile of the waiting room. He sat this way for over an hour, after then he'd stopped looking at the clock. People wandered in and out, and Kendall watched as they did. One kid came in with a broken arm, another a leg. He was starting to think that the doctor wasn't going to come get him.
As the nurses switched shifts, Kendall darted past the automatic doors before they could close. The stench of bleach and chlorine was almost unbearable. With every room he passed, his skin crawled. Coughs, sniffles, screams and other horrendous noises rang through the fourteen year old's ears, a cacophony of the disabled and terminal. Kendall had been here enough to know how to navigate his way around. He went to the second floor and made his best sad face before finding a receptionist.
"Excuse me?" The woman looked up from behind the glass, flashing a smile. "Could you tell me what room Jennifer Knight is in? I'm her son."
The last time he'd said those words, he had become a big brother a few hours earlier. The portly woman directed him to Room 111. Kendall's favorite number. He tapped on the door twice before entering. The heavy door swung open, revealing his mother on the bed. She was hooked up to several different machines; a mask covering her mouth and nose, I.V's in both of her arms, and her red wig sitting on the windowsill nearby.
It had been a while since Kendall had seen her like this. After she'd started treatment, she vowed to keep up her appearance for him and Katie, even though the only thing that mattered to them was her health. He hadn't seen her look sick since she was diagnosed over three years ago. The blonde inched closer to his mother, gently taking her hand. Her eyes opened for a moment then fell closed, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.
"What are you doing here, sweetie?" She tried to sit up, but Kendall ushered her back down. He moved from her side to grab a stool from the other side of the room and sat it next to the bed.
"I wanted to see you." She smiled weakly and ran a slow hand through Kendall's hair, stopping on his cheek. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay."
"I'm fine, baby." The way Kendall looked at her would've broken her heart. He knew, and she knew that he knew, but that wasn't going to stop her from trying to keep his hopes up. "When I come home, I expect your room to be clean. Katherine's too."
The blonde nodded, biting his lip to keep the sobs he could feel in his chest from rising to the surface. "How's Lightning?"
"He's fine, mom."
"I know you're probably taking care of everything, like the little man you are." She pulled him closer, planting a kiss on his forehead. She coughed as she laid back down. Kendall couldn't help but cringe with every wheeze. He ran to the cabinet and grabbed a basin, knowing what was coming next. He placed the pink tub next to her and turned his head as she retched and heaved into it. He couldn't help but gag as he emptied the bucket into the toilet, flushing as he turned off the light. He pulled the door closed gently, and heard her speak from the other side of the room.
"You're an amazing kid, Kendall." He let go of the handle and shoved his hands in his pockets. He didn't want to turn around because he knew exactly what she was doing. She was saying goodbye."I'm proud of you and I know you'll be the best example for your sister."
"Mom, please stop."
"You're going to grow up and be a wonderful man, just like your father was-"
"Mom, stop it."
"-and I love you and Katie with all my heart, okay?" Kendall turned to face her, tears running down his cheeks. "You know that right?" He nodded and made his way back over to her. She motioned for him to lay next to her and he did. He listened all night as she repeatedly told him how much she loved him and his sister, and how she knew he'd do great thing someday. He listened and held her hand until the machine rang monotonously. A continuous sound that left his ears ringing. As the doctors ran in, he slipped out of Room 111. One hundred and eleven was now his least favorite number in the world.
He ran past the nurses, past the portly receptionist, and down to the automatic doors.
"Fuck!" He screamed repeatedly, kicking the door. It wasn't long before a few RN's ran from the nearest office to try to calm him down. "Get off of me!" He shouted as he swatted at them aimlessly. He grabbed at one nurse's scrubs until her badge snapped back into his hand, he shoved it through the scanner, running out as soon as the doors cracked open. As he ran through the building's entrance, the realization kicked in. What was he supposed to do now?
A year later and he and Katie were still being bounced from foster home to foster home. Mostly because of Kendall's "delinquent behavior", most families only kept them around for a week or two.
"Why can't we just go home, Ken?" It was questions like these that made Kendall want to curl up and die. He hated the look on his sister's face every time they had to leave a house. He hated that he could hear her crying every night. He hated that she had nightmares all the time and he couldn't do anything about them. Mostly, he hated that he was such a huge disappointment and nothing that his mother believed he was.
"Because we don't have a home anymore." He could already see the tears welling up in her eyes, but he kept on. "Mom and dad are gone, Katie. The house is gone. Lightning's gone. We have nothing."
She cried herself to sleep again that night, mumbling something about not wanting her life, which made Kendall cry. This isn't the life that his sister should be living.
When the day came that a family came to the home looking to adopt a young girl, Katie tried her best to hide. They found her, and they loved her. Everyone always did.
"Why don't you just visit?" They'd always ask her, and usually she'd say that she wouldn't go anywhere without her brother, but Kendall had made her promise that she'd say yes. Of course, he wanted his sister to stay with him, but as the man of their family he had to do what was best for her. Keeping her in a group home definitely wasn't it, and with Kendall's record he knew they wouldn't be adopted together any time soon.
"I love you, okay?" Katie nodded, small hands latched together around her brother's neck. "With all my heart. You know that right?" She nodded again, pulling her hands away to wipe her eyes.
"I'm gonna miss you." Kendall smiled.
"I'll miss you too, but we'll see each other soon, okay?" He kissed her cheek and hugged her once more. "It isn't goodbye, alright?"
She nodded and Kendall watched as she got into the car. He smiled and waved, hoping that he was right. Even though they did have rules about keeping siblings connected, it was a flawed system and he knew that this could very well be the last time he ever saw his baby sister. He knew it was for the best though.
Another year had passed and Kendall was steady in his place at the home. Everyone avoided him, and no one cared that he didn't talk to or interact with anyone. He was furniture. He was the wallpaper. It was known that he was there, but his presence was never openly acknowledged except for lack of a better conversation.
"All of the kids are wonderful. All unique and lovely in their own little ways." Kendall looked over his shoulder, peeking into the office.
"Well, we can't handle an infant now, so we were thinking about a child. Toddler, maybe four or five but no older than ten." Kendall leaned in closer, listening to the couple converse with Mrs. Foster.
"Perfect. All of the toddlers are probably napping now, but the older kids are probably outside. Would you like a tour?" Before the couple could respond, a loud crash came from outside of the office door. "Kendall."
Kendall shot up from the floor, putting the chair back into place. "Mrs. Foster." The woman pinched the bridge of her nose, taking deep breaths before Kendall decided to push a few more of her buttons. "Funny, her name's Foster and she runs a group home."
He nudged the man standing next to him and he sniggered, covering it with a cough when scrutinized by his wife. "Kendall, why don't you go outside and play basketball?"
"Do you know that there are dozens of carcinogens in the air alone?" She sighed, rubbing her nose between her thumb and forefinger. "Not even counting UV rays. I'm trying to save my life, here." The blonde wandered back into the living room, flopping onto the couch with a book.
"Who is that?" Mrs. Foster looked up, confused.
"That's Kendall. Kendall Knight. He's sixteen."
"Our son's fifteen. That could work."
The last thing Kendall ever expected to hear come from Mrs. Foster's mouth was the phrase "Adoptive visit." When she said it, he ran to check the calendar. "It's not April first."
"I'm not joking. The Diamonds really showed interest in you. They want you to live with them for a while."
"What if I don't want to live with them?" She stopped folding his clothes and sat down next to him.
"Kendall, this is a big opportunity for you. You said yourself that when you turn eighteen you want to adopt your sister, right?" Kendall could feel his eyes start to water at the mere mention of being with Katie.
"What do they have to do with that?"
"They can help you get on your feet. Go to a good school, a nice college, get a good job and give your sister the life I know you want to give her." Kendall looked up at her, brows furrowed. "Don't you want that?"
She was guilt tripping him, and he knew it. Mrs. Foster was good at that. She wasn't mean, necessarily, but she was very manipulative when it came to getting the kids to do what was best for them. Whether it was something as simple as eating their vegetables or going on a home visit. She'd bat her eyelashes and use their dreams as weapons against them, practically puppeteering them into doing what she wanted. Sure, she was doing her job and making them all better people, but she had a sneaky way of doing it, and Kendall couldn't help but admire her for that.
"You play dirty, Foster." Kendall stuck out his hand and she shook it. "I respect that."
Kendall couldn't help but feel out of place when the Diamonds sent their driver, Jeremy to pick him up. As he sat in the back of the car, he twiddled with the tag on his bag before speaking up. "Where do the Diamonds live?"
"Now, Santa Barbara. Sometimes Cabo." Kendall sat farther down in his seat. Two houses. When his mom was alive, they could barely afford their one. "I believe they just bought a beach house in Oahu."
"That sounds very-" Kendall looked out the window and searched for a word that wouldn't be offensive. Snooty, ritzy, posh, frivolous. "Hawaiian."
"What if she's hot?" Carlos slapped the puck in Logan's direction, laughing when it almost knocked him over. "Dude, if you get a hot sister, I'm sorry. Nothing will stop me from trying to bang her."
"Dude!" Logan shook his head and Carlos threw up his arms in defense. "But seriously man, if she's attractive I'm coming over a lot more." He whacked the puck toward the goal and James blocked it.
"You guys are sick. My parents told me that I was getting a baby sister or brother." He twirled his stick and threw it on the lawn. "They didn't even tell me what it is."
"Are you excited?" James shrugged as he ripped the padding from his body. "You're gonna be an older brother, dude!"
Logan slapped his shoulder and James smiled. Sure, he was playing the cavalier card now but he was more excited than he'd ever been before. Yeah, James has friends. Carlos and Logan had been like his brothers, but at the end of the day Carlos had siblings of his own and James was tired of being left alone when Logan's parents needed him home for family game nights. James had never had that. His parents loved him, which is why they worked so hard to give him everything he could ever need or want, but as a result that took the time away from family time. He'd see them once or twice a week, usually separately; lunch with his dad on the weekends, dinner with his mom during the week. It was nice to have things, but sometimes James just wanted someone to be there with him.
He wanted someone to come to him for advice, or someone to tell about his day. He'd spent hours, even days listening to Carlos complain about his sister's obnoxious need to boy advice, or his brothers' incessant whining about him never playing Super Mario Bros. with them any more, but he could never understand why he hated it so much. Why he spent so much time trying to get away from them. If James had that, he'd never want to leave home.
"I've always wanted to be a big brother." He dropped down onto the curb, the horn from his mother's car pulling him back to reality. He ran over to the car, smiling when she rolled the window down.
"Hi, boys." Carlos and Logan smiled and waved before taking off toward James' wing of the house. He gave his mom a kiss and bounced anxiously. "He'll be here soon. You should go set up."
"He? So, brother?" His mom nodded, and he smiled. He kissed her once more and ran off. When James walked over, the boys were standing in the doorway ready to drop their things on the floor. "Nope! Put it outside. I want everything to be spotless."
"Since when does James like things to be clean?" Carlos quipped as he threw his things out onto the patio.
"Since I want to impress my little brother."
"Still don't understand why the hell you're so excited. He's just a brother, you'll hate him in a few months."
"That's where you're wrong, 'Los." James flopped backwards on his bed. "I want to be the older brother that hangs out with him all the time. Talks to him about everything, gives him girl advice and all that stuff." Logan fell onto the beanbag chair, laughing.
"Heterosexual relationship advice from a gay guy? Really James?" James shrugged, pulling his legs under him to sit up straight.
"I still have experience with girls! I just want to be his best friend, y'know?" Carlos shook his head. "Well you have a family that's close. Tons of siblings and parents that are there for you every minute of every day. I don't have that."
James pulled a new shirt out of his drawer and threw it on the bed, tossing his old one into the hamper. "That why I want to be that."
"We're here, sir." Kendall opened his eyes, not realizing that he'd fallen asleep. He rubbed his eyes and threw his bag over his shoulder.
"Call me Kendall," He stuck his hand out and Jeremy shook it before returning his to the wheel. "Thanks for the ride."
"It's my job, si-" Kendall cleared his throat and Jeremy laughed. "Kendall." The blonde smiled and stepped out of the car. This house was like a castle. Archways and gates surrounded the main entrance to the driveway, which was about as long as Kendall's old street. Large topiary's lined the walkway, winding into a long tunnel of sorts. It made Kendall uncomfortable. It made him feel too small.
"Kendall!" Mrs. Diamonds voice almost echoed from the front door, which was closer than it had seemed from the car. She walked over and held him tight. "I'm so glad you came."
"Well, how could I say no?" Kendall wasn't a fan of hugs. He didn't like feeling smothered, and to top it off Mrs. Diamonds perfume flooded his nostrils in a way worthy of gagging. When she finally released him, she lead him to the front. She stopped and pointed off toward the side of the house.
"That's where you'll be staying, but we'll tour the house first. Give James time to clean." James. He'd heard them talking with Mrs. Foster about James. Huge hockey jock on his way to the big leagues. Kendall was hoping to avoid him but he'd have to figure out how with them sharing a room. Although it wasn't just a room. James basically had his own house on the property. It was connected to the main building but somewhat like a large pool house. Why were they forcing them to share a room, if there were obviously more rooms in the house? Kendall couldn't tell. Mrs. Diamonds voice faded as she explained the different rooms. So many of them were obsolete, save for extremely specific occasions. One for tea with officials, one just for large family gatherings, but the one that caught Kendall's eye was,
"The library. Once upon a time, Mr. Diamond used to read a whole bunch. He'd never leave this place." She walked over to a chair in the corner and set her hands on it gently. "But now, it just sits here. Do you read a lot, Kendall?"
He'd meant to respond, but unknowingly he'd made his way to a shelf. Fingering the spines of the different dust-covered books, he read the titles to himself. They had all the classics; Jane Eyre, Catcher In The Rye, The Great Gatsby. Kendall was in literature heaven. He pulled a copy of Romeo and Juliet off of the shelf and opened it. As he skimmed through the pages, he hadn't even noticed Mrs. Diamond walking over to him. "I'm guessing you'll put this room to good use."
Kendall glanced up, smiling at her, and nodded. "Good. Someone needs to keep these things from collecting dust." She ruffled his hair and laughed, walking toward the door. Kendall followed. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad here.
As they approached the living room, Kendall could only hear the sounds of staged gunfire and screaming. Mrs. Diamond stopped, muttering something incoherent before turning to face him. "Wait right here, I'll be right back."
He could hear her say his name, then he heard someone shout something that sounded like "He's here!?" Just then, three boys raced out of the room, lead by a tall brunette who Kendall assumed was James. The huge smile on his face morphed into a confused scowl when his eyes landed on Kendall. "Who's this?"
"Honey," She scolded, slapping him on the wrist. "This is Kendall. Your brother." Kendall flinched at the word. They'd never be brothers. Ever. He didn't want to be apart of their family. He already had his own.
"Seriously?" She nodded enthusiastically, gripping Kendall's shoulders. "How old is he?"
"He's your age. Perfect right?" James shook his head before pulling his mother to the side. Kendall knew he wasn't wanted here. He knew that before they'd even sealed the deal. This wasn't a place for him. He wasn't like the Diamonds. He could already feel the urge to run in his legs and it took him a while to consider the consequences. Before he could decide to flee, Mrs. Diamond clapped her hands together. "Dinner will be ready soon. Carlos, Logan, maybe you guys should go home."
The two boys nodded, the smaller of the two walking past him quickly. The other stopped, smiling before slapping him on the back. "Nice to meet you, man."
Kendall returned the smile and watched as they walked out. Mrs. Diamond and James had disappeared, but he could still hear them bickering over James' rudeness. Kendall would've left, but he couldn't remember how to get out. At this point, he didn't care about leaving. He just wanted to get away and be alone. He spotted a hallways to his right and followed it. It lead him to what he assumed was James' wing of the house. He kept walking toward the open door at the end of the hallway: James' bedroom. He walked in slowly, taking in all of the details. Technically, it was his room too. He threw his bag down on the bed he assumed was his and sat by the window.
"That's my side." Kendall stood up and turned around. He watched as James walked over and grabbed his bag, dropping it on the bed opposite his. "This is your side."
"Sorry. I didn't get the itinerary on the way in." James scoffed and flipped his hair before throwing himself onto his bed.
"Look, you don't want to be here. I don't really want you here. So let's just keep this visit cordial."
"I plan to." Kendall walked over to James bed, standing over him. "I actually don't plan on staying long." James laughed, sitting up to meet Kendall's glare.
"What? You're planning on walking back to Paso Robles?" He laughed again, this time falling back onto the bed. "It'll take you like, three days."
"I've walked farther. Believe me." He sat up again, wiping the tears from his eyes when he realized that Kendall was dead serious. "When I don't want to be somewhere, I don't stay."
"Whatever." James got up and walked to the door. "Oh yeah, sorry for the sheets. I wasn't really expecting you."
James slammed the door on his way out, yelling back toward the room about dinner being ready but Kendall wasn't hungry. He looked down at 'his' bed and pulled back the covers, face twisting at the sight of the Spiderman bed set. He looked over at the nightstand, noticing a another set with flowers on the sheets and pillowcases. He couldn't fully hate James. Obviously he wanted to be a good brother, but Kendall wasn't what he expected. He didn't blame him for that, and he's pretty sure that his attitude hadn't helped. Either way, he didn't hate James. He hated the situation.
Kendall thought it would be easy to leave while James was sleeping, that was before James set the alarm on the back door. Slowly and quietly, Kendall maneuvered through the house, trying to find the front door. When he finally did, he reached for the handle.
"I'm trying, okay?"
"I know you're trying but what's the point if they're just gonna fight, hon?"
"If we give them time, they could learn to like each other. Hey! I bet they've already started bonding in the room."
"Maybe we should rethink this." Kendall slung his bag back onto his shoulder and sat next to the door.
"Maybe you should give the kid a chance before you condemn him. He's great and I know that when James gives him a chance, they'll be inseparable!"
"He's a runner, Brooke. He's got a history of running away and I'm just worried about being responsible for him."
"All he needs is a chance. For someone to want him, not treat him like a burden. Maybe then he'd stop running."
Kendall stood, flinging his bag to his other shoulder before trudging back to James' room. He kicked off his shoes, and slipped under the covers, sighing contently at the feeling of the sheets against his skin.
"-decided to stay?" The muffled remark came from under James' pillow. Kendall ignored it, turning to face the wall. He'd leave tomorrow. Tonight he'd get his first full night's sleep in two years.
Phew. 4,226 words. This took a lot out of me. It's an idea that's been whirling around in my head for a while. Loosely based on the book, The Kids are Alright, obviously.
I guess I just decided that I should finally let it leap from the nest to see if it can fly. That's all I have to say. Review if you want, I love hearing what you all think, and enjoy. :)