Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.
Summary: Sirius Black stuck in a broom closet with Marlene McKinnon. With their habit of fighting more than James and Lily, that can't have a happy ending, can it? Oneshot. Rated for language.
Dedication: For Yazzi! Because I love her! And I promised her a Sirius/OC oneshot, I still haven't finished. :Hug:
Warnings: Rating for language.
I Just Wanted You To Shut Up!
"You are such a prick!" Marlene McKinnon shouted from one end of the Gryffindor common room to Sirius Black standing at the other end with his fellow Marauders.
"Oh get over it McKinnon!" the handsome boy shouted back, flicking his black hair out of his grey eyes. Had it been any other girl his reply would've been some inappropriate innuendo, casually yawned without interest, but this was Marlene. And she was pissing him off.
"Green hair, Black! Green! A fucking Slytherin" Marlene spat the word as if that was the profanity in her answer "colour! What is the matter with you?!" she was pulling her curls, which were now their usual blonde colour again, in frustration.
Lily Evans had quietly entered the common room and sighed as she heard yet another Marlene/Sirius dispute going on. Standing next to James Potter and behind Sirius she said "They're worse than us aren't they?" in a low voice.
James broke into a large grin as Lily Evans willingly talked to him before he answered her "Yeah, they actually are. But I'm still trying to figure out why Sirius pulled such a" he stopped to search for his words "first-year prank. If he was going to prank her he could at least do it properly."
Sirius heard James behind him and took a break from his shouting match with Marlene to stare darkly at his friend "Prongs I'm bloody thrilled the love of your pathetic life is talking to you" James interrupted with an offended objection at Sirius' words but he ignored it and continued "but you better have my back in front of Mc-Pain-In-The-Ass!" he pointed to Marlene who in return made a very rude hand gesture towards Sirius.
"Oh very mature!" Sirius yelled, sarcasm practically dripping from his voice while he rolled his eyes before frowning as Marlene responded with almost hysteric laughter "Oh yeah, you want to talk about mature, huh? You who turned my hair green because I beat you at arm-wrestling!" she stomped her foot into the floor as she finished talking.
"You did not beat me! I let you win because I … am a gentleman." he finished with a charming smile aimed at a group of giggling fifth year girls standing close by, eyeing him. As one of the girls actually dared to smile back Sirius winked at her and Marlene pretended to throw up.
"Gentleman my ass, you're a man-slut!" Marlene retorted, dropping down into the nearest armchair, crossing her legs and folding her arms while her blue eyes stared challengingly into Sirius'.
His mouth curled into a cruel looking smile "Well at least I'm getting some." he looked her up and down before he snorted and purposely turned his back to her "So Remus you were telling me about the Potions-project?" he asked his friend casually as if Marlene wasn't staring at him, wishing looks could kill. Slow, painful death …
Remus Lupin grinned at his arrogant friend "I was, and I would continue, but if you want to avoid being Levicorpus'ed I would duck, because Marlene is getting out her wand."
Quick as a cat Sirius turned around, while pulling out his wand and pointing it at Marlene who had just pointed her own wand at him "Don't even think about it Monkey Girl!" he warned her.
Marlene let her wand arm drop a little and raised an eyebrow "Monkey Girl?" she questioned.
Sirius tilted his head to the side, his long hair resting on his right shoulder, pretending to check her out "Well you look like a monkey." he stated with a shrug, lowering his wand a little as well as the danger of her actually hexing him seemed to be fading.
"Well I'd rather look like a monkey than act like one." Marlene shot Sirius, who just so happened to be picking a leaf out of James' messy hair at the same time, a pointed look before putting her wand away again and retreating to the seventh year Gryffindor Girls dorm, her angry steps echoing all the way into the common room.
Lily pulled away from the, surprisingly pleasant, conversation she had been having with James "I'm going to go talk to her and see if she's okay." she told the Marauders before giving them a small wave and hurrying after Marlene.
"Make sure you give her my hemroids!" Sirius shouted after Lily's retreating body and turned around to face his friends, but was met with sceptical, raised eyebrows "What?" he asked, blinking twice.
"Dude, major over-sharing!" James exclaimed with a horrified expression, shaking his head while raising his hands defensively and taking a half step back.
Sirius rolled his eyes "Har har very funny!" he replied sarcastically before rushing out of the common room as Peter Pettigrew reminded him he had a detention in five minutes with Professor McGonagall.
James sunk into a chair as Sirius left "Oh my God, I cannot take this anymore! Moony you have got to do your whole smart thing and figure out a way for them to stop it! They're driving me insane." James hid his face in his hand and Peter felt like pointing out the similarities between Sirius and Marlene and James and Lily, but decided it was probably best to stay quiet.
Remus smiled mischievously "I've actually got an idea" he began and immediately got the attention of his two friends "but I'll need a little help from Lily" James instantly removed his head from his hands, his hazel eyes wide at the mere mentioning of Lily "and Sirius actually." Remus finished mysteriously.
0o0
"Padfoot you have to help me, just this once!" Remus begged with a desperate voice and to add a little extra to his act he folded his hands as if in prayer.
Sirius hesitated "Moony this really isn't my kind of thing. Get James to do it?" he suggested as Remus was trying to convince him of covering his Prefect rounds the same night.
"I can't, Lily asked someone to switch with her too so she could go on a date with James. An actual date, you know he's waited seven years for this! And I finally asked Dorcas out, so we really need your help." Remus stressed their state of need as best he could.
Sirius scratched his head "Aren't they just studying?" he wondered out loud and Remus had to fight the urge to slap his forehead; that was so not the point right now! Before he could say anything though Sirius added "Well if Lily switched with someone maybe I'll end up with a hot girl, exhilarated to be out after hours with Sirius Black." he smirked with confidence and Remus grinned.
"Maybe …" he answered, fighting back laughter because he knew that meanwhile Lily was having the following conversation with Marlene …
"Come on Marls, I can't cancel on James it'll break his heart!" Lily whined as she had just asked Marlene to cover for her because she would be missing tonight's Prefect rounds.
Marlene lay flat on her back sprawled out across her bed, staring at the ceiling "Get Dorcas to do it" she sighed "she never has anything to do anyhow."
Dorcas Meadowes who was sitting on the bed next to Marlene's threw her quill at Marlene's head "Screw you McKinnon." she muttered over the edge of her book.
"Sorry Dorcas." Marlene turned so she was lying on her side; her head resting in her hand as Lily told her Dorcas had a date with Remus tonight so she couldn't cover either.
"Wait" Marlene blurted out as she sat straight up on her bed, her hair in a disarray "if Remus is going on a date with Dorcas, who would I be patrolling with?" she frowned at Lily.
"Oh" Lily pretended to be surprised at Marlene's observation "well I think Remus might have mentioned something about possibly asking Fabian Prewett." the redhead lied, she knew Marlene had a thing for Fabian and Lily also knew that if she mentioned anything about Sirius Black, the entire plan would be off and she would have agreed to a date with James for no reason.
Marlene smiled a little "Really? Well maybe this patrolling isn't so bad." her smile turned into a suggestive grin and Lily laughed a little while shaking her head, if Marlene only knew …
0o0
"What in the name of Hades is Sirius Black during here?!" Marlene hissed furiously at Lily as she was being led to the portrait leading into the Gryffindor common room where her patrolling would both begin and end.
"Why in the name of all that is good in this world is Lily with McKinnon?!" Sirius muttered frantically as he was standing by the portrait with Remus, watching Lily and Marlene come closer.
"Apparently Remus asked Sirius instead of Fabian." Lily shrugged her shoulders innocently "But don't be mad, it'll be over before you know it."
"It's Black!" Marlene raised her voice a little "It'll never be over! I'll die before we ever get back here!" she dramatically insisted as she tried digging her heels into the soft carpet when Lily had to push her the last, few steps.
"Lily must have asked Marlene to cover for her since Dorcas is going out with me." Remus casually informed Sirius, applauding himself on his clever rouse "But relax, you guys will be done soon enough." he patted Sirius' shoulder.
"It's McKinnon! We'll never be done!" Sirius tried to figure out how he could easiest escape from his current predicament "She'll have me kill myself, or more likely her, before we even get back!" Sirius told Remus as he realized there was no way to escape.
"You're being silly." Lily shook her head at Marlene who in return said "But"
"I" Sirius began.
"Hate" they said simultaneously.
"Her!"
"Him!"
Finally Lily and Marlene were by the portrait, Sirius and Marlene already staring grimly at each other while they rehearsed curses under their breath, mumbling as Lily and Remus chatted together for a short while before turning to their two combating friends "Well …" Remus' voice trailed off "have fun." he finished lamely and Lily had to bite her lip from laughing as she and Remus walked back into the common room while Sirius and Marlene made their exit:
"Try not to stare at my ass too much Black!"
"Is there even anything to stare at McKinnon?"
0o0
Sirius sighed deeply; he was sure he had never been this bored before in his entire life including several Black family dinners and classes of History Of Magic. All that he could get through, but one evening in complete silence with Marlene McKinnon and he considered counting how many steps there were in all of Hogwarts just for the hell of it.
Marlene, walking next to Sirius down an empty corridor on the fourth floor, rolled her eyes at his sigh; he was being such a fucking child. She wasn't sure how exactly it'd turned out like this, but neither of them had been able to think of something to say to the other when they began making their rounds and now it had turned into a test of endurance. A contest of who could stay silent the longest. Marlene smirked to herself, she was certain Sirius would end up loosing.
If it wasn't for an unfortunate incident happening next the whole evening would probably have ended in silence, but instead as they reached the end of corridor where it split in two, one way leading to the left and one to the right, Marlene and Sirius wanted to go in different directions and ended up bumping into each other, effectively knocking their heads together.
"Shit McKinnon, watch where you're going!" Sirius cried out, his hands gripping at his aching head while he tried his best to glare at Marlene through his fingers.
Glaring back at Sirius with pain throbbing in her own head Marlene spat "Oh for Merlin's sake Black, it's not like I did this on purpose you big ass!" and she began walking to the left like she had tried to before she had walked straight into Sirius.
His hand closing around her wrist Sirius could easily hold back the tiny figure of Marlene "Where the hell are you going McKinnon? We should go right now." he stubbornly insisted as he started tugging at her arm.
With a confused frown Marlene stared at him "… I am trying to go right now, but you're the big brute who won't let go of my arm!" to prove her point she attempted to pull out of his tight grasp, but Sirius Black was way too strong for her.
"Not right now, we should go to the right now." Sirius explained with a roll of his eyes as he continued to tug at Marlene and she, much to her dismay, had to follow him. Shaking her head at Sirius' need to be dominant, Marlene sighed.
"You confuse me Black."
"Yeah well, likewise McKinnon."
0o0
They were just strolling somewhat casually down yet another seemingly empty corridor in a now semi-comfortable silence when out of the blue Sirius stopped dead in his track before suddenly tearing Marlene into not even a broom closet, as there were hardly any room for them, more like a very small supply closet, using his entire body to press her up against the closed door.
"Black what in Hades name are you doing?!" Marlene cried out, her small hands pushing against his sturdy chest without having any effect "Get the fuck off me!" she demanded as she once again had to realize she came at a physical loss compared to Sirius.
Shaking his head so his long black hair fell into his eyes Sirius hissed in a low voice "No! You shut the fuck up, Filch is coming closer!" he warned her, still keeping Marlene trapped between his body and the door as he was now leaning his ear against it to try and listen if Filch was coming closer or moving away …Definitely coming closer … Shit!
"So?!" Marlene did not care for how close they were "I don't care, we're doing Prefect rounds Black!" she rolled her eyes "He can't bust us for being out late." she didn't even bother to lower her voice, as her hand began searching for the handle on the door.
Still whispering Sirius grabbed her hand in his "Will you stop that?! He's going to hear you, and in case you forgot, you and I are not Prefects," he momentarily paused; he and Marlene actually had something in common?! "and Filch will use any excuse to hang us up in chains by our toes!" he finished dramatically.
Frowning Marlene considered the possibility that Sirius could be right, but then she shook her head, her blonde curls tickling his face "Oh come on, don't be so paranoid and why the hell are you still standing so freaking close?" she nearly yelled and Sirius cringed.
One thing was being busted out too late by Filch, at least he would get a chance to get one over James in their race of who could get the most detentions, but rumours would soon spread about him and Marlene in the same closet and his reputation would be ruined forever. As she continued to babble on loudly into his ear Sirius did the only thing he could think of to silence her.
He kissed her. He simply slid one hand up her neck and under her hair, lifting it up slightly as Sirius used his hand to tilt Marlene's head and close the last, little gap there had been between them, his lips catching her bottom one between them as he tasted her for the first time and found she was quite intoxicating.
Marlene's eyes had widened as Sirius Black, of all people!, was suddenly kissing her, and she tried to phrase a shocked question and stop her lips from moving sensually against Sirius' at the same time "What, mhmm" she had to moan as he bit lightly on her lip "are you, ooh" now his hand that wasn't keeping her head in place trailed teasingly slow up her side "doing, uh, Black?!" Marlene gasped his name as Sirius pressed his body even closer to her and something ignited between them.
Sirius' hand closed around Marlene's right breast and he smirked against her mouth as he felt her back arch so he could feel her nipple harden against his hand through her thin shirt. His fingers began to draw circles, slowly edging closer and closer to her hardened peak. At last Marlene managed to tear her mouth away from his, and Sirius noticed how she looked like she was more furious with him than ever before.
Her cheeks were flushed red and she was panting hard, her curls almost a halo around her face. The question in her eyes was obvious and Sirius let his hand drop from Marlene's breast, but kept the other one firm around her neck as he shrugged "I just wanted you to shut up." – And it was true; he had just kissed her to shut her up, he just didn't expect them to enjoy it as much as they had.
Oh shit, he had enjoyed kissing Marlene McKinnon …
"I swear Black" Marlene hissed, mentally berating herself for letting her heart pound so hard in her chest she was sure he would hear "you are the biggest, fucking idiot I've ever met!" she exclaimed loudly, but her next insult was muffled as Sirius covered her mouth with his hand, raising his dark eyebrows "Even so, you liked it!"
With a smirk Sirius dragged his fingertips teasingly over the soft, pale skin of Marlene's cheek, sweeping over her swollen lips, down her chin only to move even further and design complicated patterns on her throat, ending in a graceful dance across her collarbone and around the edge of her shirt, Marlene breathing heavily all the while, her blue eyes cloudy with lust.
It wasn't soon before their tongues were locked in a furious battle for control, that neither of them could win while Sirius' hand ventured further out to seek every little patch of exposed skin on Marlene's body while she concentrated on punishing him by digging her long nails into his shoulders, both of them still dizzy with pleasure though as their burning mouths kept moving seductively against each others.
They didn't even bother to waste time on breathing until Sirius pushed his knee in between Marlene's legs forcing her to spread them and she broke away from him, licking her lips to savour his unique flavour. She smirked at the thought of the painfully obvious hard position she'd put him in.
He wanted to hex her for that smirk.
"We should go back." Marlene decided, her voice shaky and legs feeling unsteady as Sirius was no longer holding her up and she wasn't supported by the door of the broom closet.
Sirius just nodded "Yeah, I actually want to have fun tonight, so I should obviously hang out with someone else." he returned to their usual banter and Marlene rolled her eyes at him when they left the broom closet together.
"You irritate me Black."
"Oh how you wound me McKinnon."
A/N: I'll most likely do a smutty sequel to this, so review and tell me if you'd want to read that and if you liked this! Thanks!
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