Tales of the Pilgrimage
The first moment we met.
Ch1. Tidus' POV.
Rikku
I was alone in these old ruin things when we first met. She was in this tight orange body suit… she's hot for a kid. She kept babbling on in some language and I was like "What? I'm sexy?" and she got mad and kneed me in the balls. I was only joking… well, not really but… Anyway, her little friends threw me around like a mangled beanie baby before finally holding a gun to my head. They were talking nonsense and said "fiend" somewhere in there. How would they know how good I am in bed? Anyway… she said something and then came over to me. She got really close.. I could feel her boobs and everything. Then she hit me hard again after saying something and I fell unconscious. It sounded like cun… well, something else. Anyway, I don't know what happened when I was unconscious. I hoped she did something indecent to me while I was out of it…. When I woke up, I found myself on the cold deck of some ship. Eventually, all the freaks in goggles came out, and so did she. They yelled at me as if I understood, so finally she came and said that I'd be able to stay and eat if I offered my services. I said I'd gladly be her sex slave and she almost hit me again. Turns out they meant do some work. Ugh… well to make a long story short, we got to go into the ocean and did some stuff and I got to swim and follow her. I got a nice view of her ass… we got back, and then Sin came and I thought DAMMIT! Why is he trying to prevent me from getting laid? Jealous of my hot bod. Always hating, man…
Wakka
I woke up in an ocean and got pegged in the head with a blitzball. I did something cool and impressed the guys on the beach. I swam over and they asked if I could do it again… and again, and again. They were all so happy like entertained gophers jumping up and down. So simple, really.
Lulu
I remember when I ended up going through the … thingie. What's it called again? That trial stuff. And Wakka found me. He wasn't very happy, but whatever. He's always hating on me, anyway. Jealous of my mad skillz. Yeah, so we get to the place where that person was supposed to be doing something special. Or something like that. Right… yeah, so he warned be about this one chick that was really grumpy. And he was right. She wasn't happy to see me, either. And she got even angrier when I poked her. I was just curious! If they were real, she wouldn't have gotten so pissed. Oh, so yeah… that girl came out of a whole in the wall. She like… almost fell. I laughed and asked if she was smoking something, and then Lulu whipped me with one of her belts. I told her to do it again and she mumbled something I didn't understand and walked away. God, she's so stu-pid.
Yuna and Kimari:
So later on that night, I got to talk to Yuna. Her furry guardian was there. He wouldn't let me get to close, so I turned around and pointed yelling "Chocobo" and that Ronso was off like a hamster chasing a rice ball. So I went over to Yuna and we talked. I noticed her eyes were 2 different colors. I was like "no way!" and I reached out to poke one when Ronso came back and knocked me out. Jeeze, what's his damage? I only wanted to poke her eye. I mean really. He's just so stu-pid. Damn animal….
So, that's how I ended up here. STILL havn't gotten laid. O well.
~Tidus.