A/N: I'm not the only one who ships them, right? I call it KonVikt...
Anyway, I had this HC where Viktor and Kalisto were briefly together before Sinlisto set sail, and now Konnor has to put up with Viktor's struggle until they finally get together! Also had a HC about how Konnor dreamed of Vik before meeting him and establishing the new Ascension...I just adore them!
Can't take much more of this.
So Konnor would tell himself tonight, and every night he was here with Viktor, fingers wrapped around a chilled beer bottle, mind heavy with sullen thoughts. It became routine to meet up here after work or time at the gym. Everything had grown predictable about these get-togethers—Viktor with his Blue Moon, Konnor with a Guinness Stout; Viktor on the right, Konnor at his side at the bar; hearing the same old nonsense about lust and self-loathing…
Konnor never tired of spending time with Viktor.
He just wished Viktor would let go of this kid already.
Three times was twice too many.
Konnor listened intently anyway.
"There's someone else. I know it," Viktor grumbled, sipping his beer and letting the top of the bottle pop off his lips. "All he told me was 'things were changing.' Nothing's changed except his mind. Turns out he never gave a shit about me." He glared up at the TV, showing highlights of a college football game. Konnor watched him, utterly pitying his partner. "That's my life, I guess."
"You shouldn't let him break you down like this, Vik," Konnor said. "You're better than that."
"I thought I was." Viktor blinked drowsy dark eyes. He looked so weary, for reasons other than their match earlier tonight. "I tried telling myself he's an asshole, he's not worth it. But it all comes out sounding like crap. He's too good and I can't stand it."
Konnor wrought the back of his neck, a frustrated indication that went unnoticed by the distracted Viktor. "He feels you up then tells you he can't see you anymore. Doesn't define 'good' to me."
"I just felt sorry for him, y'know?" Viktor circled his thumb over the bottle top. "He was getting nowhere with that useless partner of his, before Sin Cara came along. He told me I was a good listener, and I don't know…guess I just read everything wrong. It's him. It's Sin Cara. I know they've got something going on. He's the reason Kalisto broke it off with me."
Konnor felt trapped. What else could he say that Viktor hadn't heard already? "Vik, you fell for this guy, what, four months ago? And things haven't gotten better? Now you're feeling all vulnerable and distraught…I hate that he's got this hold on you."
"Not anymore."
"He still gets to you. Otherwise you wouldn't be so devastated over him."
Viktor's frown steepened. "It's just gonna take some time, I guess."
"I ain't saying it won't." Konnor was patient. "I'm saying…" Nothing that I'm thinking. "I'm saying…" How to make this sound not so pitiful… "I don't like it when you…when you're hurt. Y'know? Makes me hurt a little bit."
Perhaps that was taking it a step too far towards "pitiful", but at least he'd gotten a smile out of Viktor this way. Well. Half of one. Baby steps.
"I hate to dump all this on you like a little bitch, Konnor. Just…" Viktor thought over his words through another drink. "You're the only one who really gets me. Only ones who cares."
More than you know, Vik. More than you could ever know…
But Konnor couldn't say he loved Viktor. Not yet. It took him a while to warm up to anyone, let alone love them. Viktor was already pretty special for earning Konnor's affections and devotion. Not just as a tag partner, but a friend as well.
Yet Konnor wanted more of him.
All of him.
How to pursue a man who was hung up on another, though? How could he tend to Viktor's heart when it was stapled to the neglect of that son of a bitch Kalisto…
"I'm always here for you," Konnor soughed. It was all he could bear to say.
"Thanks."
Silence loitered. Konnor sipped his drink.
"I think The Killing Gods might be one of my favorite albums of all time."
Konnor was glad for the subject chance. "That so? You finally get through all of it?"
"A million times over. It's fucking incredible music."
"Best track on it?"
Viktor's tone had picked up a bit of refinement that Konnor was pleased with. "'Sentinels'. Or 'The Calling'. Hard to pick."
"We'll have time for both on the way home." While Konnor resided in Orlando, just a fifteen-minute drive from the performance center, his Canadian partner had rented an apartment a little south of him. Konnor sure didn't need distance to appreciate Viktor as much as he did.
"You're letting me pick the music, driver? Must be my lucky day."
"We'll make this a better night than it has been." Konnor tapped his beer bottle against Viktor. "Cheers, Vik."
"Cheers," he said like he absolutely wanted to mean it…yet it was still forced. The smile looked glued on, not sincere.
Lovesick Viktor sure had a way of devastating Konnor's own heart.
Konnor dropped Viktor off, but he couldn't go home. Not yet. What would he do there? Seethe in his anger towards Kalisto for hurting Viktor, damn himself for his useless feelings, try and fail to go to sleep at a reasonable hour.
If anyone knew Viktor's understanding of liking someone he couldn't be with, it was Konnor.
Not that Viktor was aware of such empathy.
He decided to take out his mental aggression physically. The gym at the performance center technically wasn't open 24/7, but who was going to get on his case about it?
Konnor started on the dip machine, setting his triceps ablaze with how much weight he could push downward while sitting. It was an ache he welcomed, though it didn't fully divert him from thoughts of Viktor. Hardly anything did that anymore.
He worked himself into a great sweat, tremendous and worthwhile pain. After just a few minutes' rest, he moved to a curling machine to focus on his biceps.
Stupid of him not to warn Viktor to watch out for himself when dipping into this thing with Kalisto. Had he the right to give advice? As a friend, a tag partner, surely. They'd been together—professionally—for over a year now, and Viktor still didn't know the truth behind their origin story and prior. Still didn't know of Konnor's feelings for him. Feelings which Konnor could pinpoint instigating around the time Viktor started seeing Kalisto. What a coincidence. He'd treasured Vik as a friend and coworker before. After realizing he couldn't have Viktor fully, he'd felt jealous. Jealousy spilt into these mushy, tender emotions Konnor would soon be rid of if he could just let go…
But Viktor was worth holding onto. No matter how much it hurt.
But like a fool he'd kept his mouth shut and let Viktor fall into this fling, flame, whatever it'd been. It was over now, if Viktor could just let go.
Konnor released the weights with a grunt, a rattle on the machine. With sore arms he wandered towards the water fountain, feeling silly for working out with a slight buzz and no water of his own…but this was necessary for the time being.
After a helpful drink from the fountain, he aimed for the treadmill.
The door shoved open.
Konnor froze in place.
For a moment he thought it could have been Viktor, somehow finding him here and confessing with all his heart how wrong he'd been before, how right Konnor was for him and perhaps they could be together after all…
But those were just stupid, stupid fantasies.
And it wasn't Viktor.
It was Bo Dallas.
The young wrestler baulked at the unexpected sight of Konnor. He cocked his head, observing Bo, who eventually offered a soft smile.
"You can't sleep either, huh?"
Konnor blinked. Was Bo talking to him? Of course, he realized while calling himself an idiot, it was just the two of them here.
But why?
"Uh," Konnor stammered. "No. Not exactly." Last these two had crossed paths, as far as Konnor could recall, Bo had beaten him during a tournament. He was the current NXT champion and Konnor didn't care for the kid.
"It's best to work out late at night, anyway. Nobody there to bother you."
"Right." Konnor wasn't about to be frightened off by this rascal, so he made his way over to the treadmill. He could run five miles in just over forty-five minutes now. Pretty good, but he wanted to do even better. He started off slow, walking, then gradually increased his speed over the minutes.
As his stride augmented to a light jog, Bo called to him again from across the area, weighty dumbbells in hand. "I'm sorry about you and Viktor."
"What?" he barked, taken off guard by the statement.
Bo wasn't shaken. "You know. Losing the tag team titles to the Lucha Dragons."
"Oh," Konnor grunted. That was the very last thing he wanted to think about. Now he could only wonder if Viktor had gone easy on those high-flying bastards. Let Kalisto have the victory simply because he was a damn slave to his feelings.
Where did that sound familiar?
Konnor picked up speed. Faster he ran, sweating, panting, hurting and fuming. For months he'd convinced himself he was fine remaining Viktor's friend. How selfish could he be, wanting Vik all to himself? Viktor wasn't his property. He could live as friend status, couldn't he?
But what if fine truly stood for fucked up, insecure, neurotic, empty…what if he had to deal with this disavowal as long as he was around Viktor…
What if I actually do love him and just haven't gotten around to admitting it to myself yet because I know it's fucking pointless…?
The machine was practically smoking, as was he. It wasn't until Bo sprinted over, waving his hands and calling out to him, that Konnor returned to reality with a blink and a gasp. Sweat pasted his clothes to his body. His muscles felt like they'd disintegrated. He made the machine slow down, way down, then eventually stop altogether. He took in a breath and his chest nearly collapsed in on itself. How long had he been out of it?
"Hey, easy," Bo said, reaching a hand to catch Konnor in balance. For some reason Konnor let him, cupping their hands together and allowing Bo to escort him off the machine.
"You're not okay." Bo's eyes widened.
"I'm fine," Konnor wheezed, pressing a hand to his chest. Fucked up, insecure, neurotic, empty.
"Here." Bo offered his water bottle to Konnor. "Sip it slowly."
Without a reason to say no, Konnor took the container. He listened to Bo's instruction, downing each gulp unhurriedly.
"Thanks," he grunted, returning the bottle when he'd had enough.
"You're welcome. What happened back there? You space out?"
"Kind of."
"Is it about what I said? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bring up bad memories—"
"Relax, kid. It wasn't you."
Bo bit his lip. He was so innocent that it was almost annoying. "Then…what is it? If you don't mind me asking…"
His response to anyone else, anywhere else, would have been a blunt, "None of your damn business." But something withheld that reply; the fact that he'd bottled up this wrath for so long, and perhaps this was a good time to release some of that pressure before he got himself really hurt…or worse, Viktor. He'd rather explode on Bo than his dear partner.
Besides…
"I'll tell you, kid, but the only reason why is because I don't know you that well. So I don't give a shit if you judge me for it."
"I don't judge people for anything." He lifted two hands warily. "That's not who I am."
"Right." Konnor could buy that, just for now. His chest was still tight.
"Come on," Bo said, as if he sensed just that. "Let's sit down."
Konnor followed Bo to a long bench near the exit and dropped onto it. Konnor folded his hands together in his lap, foot tapping in the quiet.
Bo put his water bottle on the floor and waited. He had taken Konnor's place whenever he was with Viktor at the bar. Now Konnor was the one to confess the musings of his heart.
"I like someone," he confessed. Huh. There it was. It'd been easier than he thought it would be. "And, uh…he likes someone else. Or, he's getting over someone else. I dunno. It's all messed up right now."
Bo nodded gently. "I know what that's like."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah," Bo enunciated. "It's common, unfortunately."
Konnor scoffed. "Sucks."
"You don't have to tell me who it is," Bo mentioned, "but if you don't mind me asking…are you one-hundred percent convinced he's not interested in you, in any degree?"
Konnor continued folding his hands in and out of themselves. How was this so simple? "If he is, he hasn't said anything. Not since he's been so hung up on Kal—" Konnor caught himself before the slip. "I really don't think so, no," he replaced it.
"Are you guys good friends?"
"Yeah." Best friends.
"Get along really well? Hang out all the time? Tell each other stuff?"
"Yes, yes, and yes." He tried to keep his cool, but obviously that's what he'd meant by 'good friends.' "He's my…I mean, he's something else. We get along great. Us against the world, some days, feels like."
Bo's head bobbed. "And this other guy that your guy's getting over. How close are they?"
Konnor's eyes lifted to the ceiling. "Not that close. Whatever they have—had—it was mostly physical, from what I understand. If emotions came into it, it was one-sided. He's pretty torn up about it."
"So you have feelings for your friend, and your friend has feelings for someone else, and nothing is reciprocated."
"That's right."
Once again Bo nodded. Konnor felt like this was a damn therapy session. Bo let silence dawdle between them, contemplating everything. Konnor was starting to get agitated when Bo spoke up again.
"I don't think you have anything to lose by telling him how you feel."
Konnor stared at Bo like he was the biggest idiot… "Are you kidding?"
"Look, I'm not a love guru, okay? I don't have all the answers. But hearing you talk about him…" Konnor was convinced Bo knew it was Viktor, but if he did no, Bo didn't mention that. "It sounds to me like you care for this guy. A lot. You're not just envious he's into someone else—you're upset on his behalf because this third party seems to be just using him for carnal pleasures. It's not a healthy relationship, if you could even call it a relationship."
"Yeah." Right on the money, Dallas.
Bo crossed one ankle over the other. "So think about it. If you're as close as you say you are, telling him wouldn't change much. Let's say, hypothetically—I can't stress that enough, this is theoretical—he doesn't feel the same way. Okay. Sucks. Maybe it'd be awkward, maybe uncomfortable, but you'd get past it. If you have a solid friendship, you'll make it over that bump. You'll learn how to accept him for what he is to you now, you'll start taking the necessary steps in getting over him."
Konnor loathed the sound of that. If he wanted to get over Viktor, wouldn't he have started taking those "necessary steps" by now? Perhaps part of him was trashy and hopeful that maybe, just maybe, Viktor could feel the same way…if not now, then someday, maybe…
Then Bo smiled warmly. Konnor had to resist the urge to smile back. He was way too charming. "But let's say he feels the same way. Say he recognizes his worth in your eyes, finally understands in full what he means to you. That could be the push he needs to get over Mr. Churlish and run to your arms for the refuge he needs. And deserves, from what you're saying."
"Churlish?" Konnor had to ask, lifting a brow.
"It means rude. Crass."
"Right." That would be his codename for Kalisto from now on. Mr. Churlish. Konnor liked the sound, and meaning, of it. Konnor sighed, feeling the complete effects of his short but intense workout. His head sagged. "You think it'd be worth it…it wouldn't mess up our partnership none?"
That would have given it away entirely, but still Bo played vague. "I think it's very much worth finding out. How often does something like this happen to you? Have you ever been in love before?"
Love. That concept again, back to haunt him, bite him…taunt him.
Could it be? Could it actually be that unfamiliar, horrific, outlandish sensation?
"No. I haven't."
"Then this could be it for you, Konnor." Bo tapped his arm gently, then hopped off the bench. "I say go for it. You never know what light you'll find on the other side of this bride. Mighty be a rickety ride, but the ground could finally feel secure under your feet at the end."
Bo Dallas. Poet, shrink, romantic little twit. Konnor couldn't say he detested the guy anymore. Not after this heart-to-heart…
"I'll think that over, kid. Er, Bo. Thanks."
"Don't mention it." Bo swiped his water bottle from the floor and sauntered towards the door. Suddenly he stopped, and his head craned to look back at Konnor once more.
"Oh, and by the way. This is just my opinion, but…you guys are really good together. Good sign. Healthy beginning."
He knew. Of course he knew. Who else would it be? Konnor just chuckled with a shake of his head. Way to be subtle back there, Konnor. "Thanks."
With a sunbeam of a smile, Bo wished him goodnight and slinked out of the gym. He'd lifted a couple of weights, given some profound advice, then left? What had he even been doing here?
Right place, right time, if Konnor had to say so. Definitely hadn't been expecting that.
He sat alone for several minutes. He knew after this what he had to do.
He just hoped Viktor would forgive him for being honest, if it came out all jumbled.
Whatever happened, he just wanted the Ascension to be okay.
Konnor slept in late the next morning. Viktor, always up earlier than him somehow, had texted him twice. He blinked at the screen.
[Morning run?]
That'd been four hours ago. Viktor was crazy. But Konnor was just glad he hadn't continued drinking until early in the morning, winding up sick.
[Guess not. Hope I didn't wake you.]
Time now was eleven-thirteen.
Konnor pushed out of bed—then crashed back down onto it.
His form throbbed head to toe, especially his arms naturally. He was used to pushing himself during workouts, but this felt worse than most mornings after. Like his psychological pain had settled with the muscle damage last night, and now he was under attack on all sides.
Allowing himself to rest a little longer, Konnor called Viktor up.
"Hey," he answered.
"Morning, Vik."
"Sleep well?"
"Well enough. You?"
"A little."
Konnor rubbed his fingers with his thumb and forefinger. "How little is a little?"
"A little. Don't worry about me."
His chuckle was small. Yeah. I'll get right on that.
"We getting together today?" Viktor queried.
Konnor rested snugly against his pillow. This bed felt big and lonesome sometimes. "Sure, assuming you're not sick of me yet."
"I always carry Dramamine on me. I'll be okay."
Konnor laughed. Viktor could give off a tough-guy impression to everybody in the business; perhaps Konnor was the only one who could recognize his slight sensitivity, his sense of humor…his fragility.
"What'd you have in mind?"
Konnor thought it over. If what he needed to do didn't happen today, would he regain the drive to get it through some other time? Not without Dr. Bo Dallas's reinforcement.
"Can I, uh…can we…" He squeezed his eyes closed. "Maybe go to dinner tonight?"
It must have surprised Viktor because he didn't answer right away, and when he did, there was a certain delicacy to his tone. "Dinner? Uh…yeah, I guess we could do that." They'd eaten together plenty of times, sure. But Viktor must have sensed how different things were this time.
"You pick the place. I'll pay."
"Well, how can I say no to that?"
How easily Viktor could rid him of his pain… "I'll pick you up. Let's say six?"
"You're making this sound like a date, Konnie."
Call it whatever you like. It was happening, Viktor had agreed to it and Konnor's chest was in spasms. Viktor was also the only one allowed to call him by that nickname. From anyone else, it'd sound childish and stupid; from him, endearing. "I'm looking forward to it."
"Me too."
Konnor watched the ceiling, finding shapes in the texture like a kid watching the clouds. If he stared up long enough, let his mind deliberate, he could remember the dream which brought him and Viktor together as partners in the first place…
"Konnor?"
"Yeah?"
"See you tonight, man."
"Yeah. See ya."
He kept the phone at his ear long after the call ended. Watched the ceiling. Fantasized about Viktor, edgy about things to come…
It was now or never, he guessed.
Tonight was the night.
Viktor had decided on a Japanese restaurant called Seito Sushi, one of the best in the city. Fortunately for Konnor the "dress code" was casual, so he didn't have to decorate himself for the evening. He might have invested in lavish attire if this truly was his and Viktor's first date. Someday, maybe, he told himself, clinging to optimism.
He also wasn't the biggest fan of Asian cuisine. But it was Viktor's choice.
Vik looked handsome even dressed "down": a black Danzig shirt, exhibiting the same logo tattooed on his arm, a form-fitting pair of dark jeans held up by a studded belt, and an older pair of Converse. No Ascension makeup tonight, of course. His long black hair was drawn back in a tight knot behind his head in normal fashion. He looked good. Always did.
Okay. I can do this.
Konnor decided to wait until the server delivered both meals so she wouldn't persistently interrupt them. Conversation was light until that point: Viktor had ordered a seabass and prawn gyoza, which were fried dumplings, and Konnor got barbecued calamari per his partner's suggestion. It didn't look disgusting…like thick-wrapped noodles and shells.
It could ruin everything…or it could fix everything that was wrong…
The upcoming conversation. Not the calamari.
"You okay?" Viktor asked, eyeing Konnor over the table.
"Uh, yeah," Konnor replied. "Just working my way towards the first bite."
Viktor grinned. "It ain't bad. Trust me."
"I believe you." Konnor grabbed his fork and stabbed one of the shells. "I just, uh…"
"Something on your mind?"
"Well, obviously you can read it. Tell me what it is."
His handsome smile carried on. He was so handsome. Konnor knew that about him from the day they met…and even before. "You just got that look to you. Like something's up."
Konnor should have typed this out. Memorized the words. He wanted to sound sincere, but not like a total doofus.
"You mad at me about something?" Viktor questioned, eyes widening in the slightest.
"Oh, no, no. That's not it. You didn't do anything wrong."
Viktor pushed a breath out. His answer didn't seem to satisfy him. "Then what is it? You know you can tell me anything. God knows how many times you've listened to me bitch and moan over the past few months."
God did know. So did Konnor. Why can't I just say what's on my mind? Why is this so fucking hard?
Maybe he'd try a different approach. A backroad. Something else he'd been meaning to tell Viktor for a long time.
"We've been working together a long time now, huh? A year, more or less?"
Viktor chuckled, shaking his head softly. "Has it really been a year already?"
"Crazy, right? We've been through a lot since then. But way back before you came into the NXT, after you were gone for so long…around that time, my tag team, the old Ascension, broke apart. Pretty rough. Cameron got released, I was by myself for a bit…it wasn't easy. I thought I'd like being alone. But it sucks after a while, having no one there for you when you, y'know, need someone."
Viktor pressed his lips together. He had to agree.
"This is probably gonna sound crazy," Konnor confessed, rounding back towards his point.
"Hey, it's me. What could sound crazy to me? Try me," he challenged.
"Alright." Konnor felt a bit better now, for he trusted Viktor's word… "A short time before you came back…I, uh…I dreamed about it."
Viktor cocked his head like a curious puppy. An adorable punk puppy. "You dreamed about me before we met?"
"I told you it was crazy. Even I think so. To this day I can't figure it out, but it was very detailed. Very real, since all of it ended up happening, with a couple of alterations." Konnor sipped his water, then folded his hands on the table in front of his cooling food. "In my dream I was in the middle of the ring. I'd just had a match, I'd won, but I was still pissed off for whatever reason. Glad to have the victory, but something was still missing. I could hear people cheering, booing, however they felt about me. But I couldn't see them. It was really dark. Like, I could see, but it would have been pitch-black if anyone else was there. If that makes sense." Konnor halted his ramble, finding his way back on track once again. "Then all of a sudden, this bright light came on over the ramp. I looked over, and in the middle of the light like a…a fucking angel or something…" He'd added the profanity to rid the words of pathetic sap. "There you were," he dismissed, hand lifting, then hitting the table. "There was me in the dark, and you in the light."
Viktor didn't look confused or uncomfortable. He looked intrigued. He leaned in closer to Konnor and asked, "Well, what happened after that?"
"We just…we stared each other down for a long while. I don't know, it was like you were waiting for me to do something and I wasn't sure what. Then I woke up."
"Huh. That's…" Viktor rubbed a hand over his mouth. "Interesting."
I'd say so. "I had that dream at least four times before you came back. Right after my match against Alex Riley. I won, but there was a lot on my mind, where my career would go from there and whatnot…then you appeared on the ramp. Got my attention. Just like the dream."
"Without the total darkness and blinding light."
"I told you there were some altercations." Konnor smiled. He'd forgotten all about his food. This was a night about Viktor, not anyone or anything else.
Viktor, meanwhile, delighted in his dumplings while listening to all Konnor had said. "You sure you're not psychic?"
"I'm sure."
"No That's So Raven shit going on?"
Konnor laughed. "I promise. It's the only time I've had a dream on replay for weeks, then have it actually happen."
"I can tell you another altercation in your story. I'm no angel."
"Fallen angel?"
Viktor bit his lip. "Hard to fall when you never rose in the first place."
"Then we'll both relish in hell together."
Viktor cocked an eyebrow. "You'd meet up with me in hell?"
"Anywhere without you is hell."
Viktor's lips parted, taken by Konnor's words.
"That's what I want to tell you, Vik. You've been wasting your time pining after that stupid kid who can't appreciate you for what you are. How kind you are. Your genuinely good heart. Your sensitive side, your romantic passions for the world around you…how fucking beautiful you are," Konnor had no shame in including. "He doesn't give a shit about you because he's an absolute dumbass. If he'd rather chase after that other douche bag, I say let him. To hell with both of them. Because you deserved to be cherished."
Viktor's eyes were wide as half-dollars. "You…you think that?"
"I don't think it, Vik. I know it. There's someone out there way better for you than someone who can't appreciate how stunning you are. Inside and out."
Viktor's eyes lowered to his half-finished meal. "Someone like…"
He got it. Had to have. "Yeah, Vik." Konnor brushed his hand over the table, taking Viktor's fingers in a gentle squeeze. "This someone."
His heart thudded in both ears and he was sweating in spite of his deodorant. Viktor was dumbstruck, Konnor was impatient. The server wandered in their direction, but she seemed to sense their drama, so she avoided their table for a little longer.
"What are you thinking, Vik?" Konnor implored, squeezing his hand. "I gotta know."
Viktor elevated his gaze with Konnor. "After all this time…"
"Yeah. Turns out I'm more enduring than I thought." Konnor tried smiling, but Viktor kept his look blank. What was happening? Was Konnor about to get his heart broken?
"Goddammit," Viktor mumbled. All of a sudden he pulled his hand from Konnor's hold, seized his jacket and darted towards the door.
"Vik!" Konnor tried. Shit, no. Not like this. He hurried to open his wallet and left fifty bucks on the table. That should have covered the meals, plus a sizeable tip. He hurried out of the restaurant, ignoring the host who wished him a good night.
"Vik!" Konnor shouted again. He stalked Viktor into the parking lot. Viktor suddenly stopped in place, back to Konnor, leaving a bit of distance between them.
"If you don't feel the same way, just tell me now so I can get over you." Konnor lifted two hands though Viktor couldn't see him. "What's more important to me is our friendship, our partnership. I don't want to lose you after everything. I don't think I can." He swallowed hard. It took a lot to make him tear up, but on this road, he might have learned how.
Viktor took his time turning around to face Konnor. "I'm the biggest fucking idiot on the planet."
Konnor was baffled. "No, you're not. Why the hell would you think that?"
"Because you're my partner, Konnor." Viktor drew nearer by a step. Good. This was good. Progress. "We spend every day together, a lot of nights. I tell you everything, you tell me everything. You're…" Viktor stretched his arms out. "You're my fucking best friend, and I'm sitting here after all this time feeling sorry for myself?" Viktor scoffed at himself, looking off to the side, as if speaking to himself now and not Konnor. "I was wasting my time. For four months I was longing for something I knew wouldn't end well. I was a total dumbass." He looked back at Konnor, anchoring a look into his soul. "I have the best thing in the world right here with you. And it took me longer than it should have to fucking realize it. I misused you. Our entire partnership, I've been taking for granted." Viktor's fingers curled into fists. He was shaking visibly now.
Konnor swallowed again. He took a single step towards Viktor. "You're not stupid, Vik. Don't call yourself that. You were sidetracked for a while. Distracted. I get that. I could kick his ass for hurting you. But the point is…you don't have to beat yourself up every night over this. You can leave the memory of him behind, because he wasn't your one and only shot at love." If there was even a shot to begin with.
Viktor shoved loose strands of hair from his face behind his ears.
Konnor took another step. Almost there. Nearly close enough to embrace him. "You might have been wasting your time, sure. But you're past it now. You can look forward at all the good shit left in the world. You deserve better than resenting him, resenting yourself, cursing life. You deserve better."
The night air was chilly but Konnor ignored it. A car had to veer around them, honking all the way. Konnor disregarded that, too. Nothing existed in his world except the man before him.
Viktor chuckled but it was wretched. His head hung towards the ground. "Still can't believe after all this time…"
"Don't go there, Vik. I hate it when you blame yourself for everything. You're a lot better than you think you are."
"That a fact?"
"Of course it's a fact. I'm not the type to fall in love often, if ever at all, so here's the proof that you're deserving of it. I'm that proof."
Viktor stared up at him again. "You love me?"
Konnor nearly hesitated, but something stopped him. The truth. The reality, the depth of his feelings. Now he could easily blame himself for not realizing what he should have known all along…
"Yeah, Vik. I do."
Viktor chewed his lip. His only response was to fill the rest of the space between them. He learned into Konnor's figure, and Konnor enveloped him into his arms, holding him tenderly. Tender was a place Konnor never found himself. Viktor, too. This was strange for both of them.
"I'm sorry," Viktor tried.
"Shhh." Konnor stroked the back of Viktor's head from here. "Stop that. There's nothing to be sorry for."
"Making you wait? Talking about another guy all the time while you were crazy about me?"
"Well…maybe, but it's all forgiven and forgotten, alright? Past is passed. And listen…" Konnor moved out of the grip to see Viktor eye to eye. A beautiful pair of eyes, if he was honest. He kept both his hands on Viktor's firm shoulders. The guy still looked sad as all hell. This wasn't how he imagined this night to go so far… "I don't want you giving into anything that's hasty, rash, unreal. You're emotional and vulnerable thanks to that fucker Kalisto, and now me, too. I don't want you to be with me because I'm the first guy in a while who told you I'm into you. I don't want to be your rebound. You mean more to me than that."
At last, a smile from him. Konnor moved Viktor's slackened ponytail in front of his shoulder.
"I want you to be with me because you want to. Don't do me any favors, don't take pity, don't feel obligated. I'm happy to have you as my partner, my friend. I want you to take some time and think about everything. How you feel, what you want. When your head's cleared, your heart's fixed, you tell me what you want and be honest. I'll cope with whatever it is you figure out." Konnor moved his hand underneath Viktor's chin, stroking beneath his lips with his thumb. "I love you, and I want what's best for you. If it's me, it's me. If it ain't me…it ain't me. You'll find your way. But take that time."
The smile blossomed, and Viktor shook with a withheld laugh. "Who knew my tag partner was such a schmuck?"
"Hey, I know this is outside my normal behavior, but I just wanted to tell you everything because you—"
Viktor interrupted him by suddenly moving in, pressing his lips into Konnor's. The astounded Konnor could hardly kiss him back simply because of the shock. But Viktor kept on him, and Konnor found his way, holding fast to his love by lips and soul…
He was dizzy when the kiss receded. Viktor was grinning like a fool.
"That didn't take long," Konnor breathed.
"I'll take your advice, Konnie. You're right. I don't know where I'm at right now. But I have an idea about where I'm going. And I kinda like it."
"Yeah?"
"Oh, yeah. And I promise not to lead you on or make it hard…you mean more to me than that, too."
"I'm good with that. Take all the time you need."
"Might not need much. You've always been a sexy devil yourself."
Konnor nearly fell over. Viktor had such a hold on him…always had, always could…
"Wanna take me home?" Viktor asked, sounding suggestive. "Just…chill for a while?"
"Sounds like a plan."
Konnor boldly held Viktor's hand on the way to the car. He wasn't totally sure where this was going yet…but he had a very good feeling about it.