But Headmaster..!

Author: Sikanna

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, Rowling does.

Harry Potter, The-Boy-Who-Refused-To-Friggin-Die-Already, stared at Albus Dumbledore in shock.

"You're joking."

"I assure you Harry, I am not."

"But Headmaster..!"

"I'm sorry, Harry."

Harry slumped back in the plush chair in front of the Headmaster's desk and tried to overcome his shock...and fear.

Not even Fawkes could sing well enough to fix this one.

"Is there any way I can get out of it?" the boy asked the old man helplessly.

Dumbledore stared into the entreating eyes of one of his most promising students and sighed wearily. "Harry, if there was anything I could do to change things, I would. Unfortunately..." He let the sentence hang as he watched the resigned and despondant expression settle over Harry's features.

Harry Potter bravely stood to his feet. "It was nice knowing you, Professor Dumbledore. Don't worry, I'm sure you'll be able to find someone to defeat Voldemort after I die."

"Now Harry, there is no need for theatrics, things aren't that ba..."

His words of reasurrance were abruptly cut off when his Potions Master barged into his office with a roar of pure rage.

"ALBUS!"

"Severus, what can I do fo..."

Once again he was cut off as Snape continued to 'speak'.

"THERE IS NO BLOODY WAY IN HELL THAT I'M DOING IT! I WILL GO TO THE DARK LORD AND TELL HIM TO HIS FACE THAT HE NEEDS TO TAKE THE TREE TRUNK OUT OF HIS ARSE AND GET A LIFE BEFORE I WILL, AND THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT!"

For a moment the only sound in the room was the sound of Snape's labored breathing.

Cautiously Harry spoke up. "Um, Professor...maybe I should leave..."

He shrank back, as an enraged Potions Professor turned to him, voice coming out in a dangerous hiss. "You..."

Having survived this long had given Harry very good survival instincts. Instincts that in this case, he didn't need, to know how to act. He leaped out of his chair and began inching toward the door, wishing with every fiber of his being that he hadn't been allowed to come back to Hogwarts a month early, and babbling as fast as he could.

"I'mreallysorryProfessorSnape,IswearIdidn'tmeantoandIalreadyaskedtheHeadmaster,buthesaidhecouldn'tdoanything,andthatIwouldhavetogothroughwithitandyoucan'tkillmeyetIdon'thaveawill! AndIknowthatdoesn'tmattertoyoubutitmatterstomeandifyoukillmenowIwon'tbeabletosaygood-byetoRonorHermioneandwhowillfeedmyowlandifIdiewhatwouldhappentotheQuidditchTeam,theyjustmademeCaptainandIreallyshouldn'havesaidthatsinceyou'retheSlytherinHeadofHouseandreallygettickedwhensomeoneremindsyouthatSlytherinhaslosttheCupeveryyearsinceIgothereandIreaaaaalllyshouldn'thavesaidthat'causeyourfaceisturningpurpleandI'msorryHeadmasterandProfessorSnapebutIjustrememberedthatIhavetogonow...Bye!"

("I'm really sorry Professor Snape, I swear I didn't mean to and I already asked the Headmaster, but he said he couldn't do anything, and that I would have to go through with it, and you can't kill me yet I don't have a will! And I know that doesn't matter to you but it matters to me and if you kill me now I won't be able to say good-bye to Ron or Hermione and who will feed my owl and if I die what would happen to the Quidditch Team, they just made me Captain and I really shouldn't have said that since you're the Slytherin Head of House and really get ticked when someone reminds you that Slytherin has lost the Cup every year since I got here and I reaaaaallly shouldn't have said that 'cause your face is turning purple and I'm sorry Headmaster and Professor Snape but I just remembered that I have to go now...Bye!")

By the end of this, Harry had inched close enough to the door to escape before Snape could explode.

No longer having an obvoius outlet for his anger, Snape turned back to Albus, eye practically spasming.

During Harry's spiel, Dumbledore had been unsuccessfully been trying not to laugh, but when Severus turned and looked at him, he simply lost it.

"I'm sorry, my boy" he claimed once he regained control "I couldn't help myself."

He cut off Snape before he could speak. "I'm sorry Severus, but as I told Harry, there is nothing I can do. Harry passed his Potions exam, got an O, in fact. As such, he must be put in your Advanced Potions class."

"But Albus..!"

"No buts, Harry will be in your class this Term and there is nothing either of you can do about it." This was said in a firm tone that indicated Dumbledore would not be changing his mind.

Snape gathered himself together, and with all the dignity he could muster, turned and stalked from the room.

Wincing when the door slammed shut, Albus Dumbledore turned to his faithful companion. "Well Fawkes, how about a wager...how many detentions will Harry get this year? I know you won last year but I'm sure to win this time!"

Fawkes gave a trill and eyed the Headmaster in challenge.

The End

A/N : My Slayers fic was a bust, maybe this one'll do better.