Panda-Chan: This is what happens when Panda-Chan is in a bad mood! She lets it all out by being horrible to the characters she loves! Oh and I'm having a bit of writers block for For all of Eternity, but that shall pass, I promise. Love you all! *goes and cries in a corner* Xoxo
X*x*x
I have him.
I never thought that those three words would sound so good when they crossed my mind.
I really did have him! He'd ran down an alleyway that had once been a great escape for him, as he would turn down a busy street and be lost in the crowd by the time I caught up. However, for whatever reason, the city officials had a wall built up, blocking his path. A tall, thick, brick wall that was far too smooth for him to scale. He'd frozen when he saw it, clearly not expecting such a setback, and I took the wonderful opportunity to grab him by the back of the neck and slam him face first into the new wall.
So there I was, grinning almost insanely as I held him firmly against the brick. I think I may have used a little more force than needed, as I could see little droplets of blood trickle down his face where his cheek scraped against the rough surface. He looked as calm and cocky as ever, but his eyes and sweaty brow betrayed him. I knew he was scared.
"So, got any ideas on how you're gonna get away from me now?" I asked.
"Working on it." The flea said with a grin, though his voice was strained, proving to me how much I was actually hurting him. I noticed his hand travel to the pocket of his jacket, so I simply bet him to it, reaching my own hand in and pulling out the flick blade he'd obviously been planning to slice me with.
"Don't even bother, flea." I snarled against his ear. His grin fell once I had his precious blade in my grasp. I could feel him swallow nervously. Good, he should be nervous.
"So you're going to kill me then?" He questioned, "You gonna prove to everyone what a monster you are?" I grit my teeth, about to growl out some retort. I bit it back however; as I knew he was just trying to use his words to get out of this.
"I think I'd be considered more of a savior then a monster." I stated, spinning him around so that his back was now against the wall and I could see his pained face as I gripped his throat. His mouth fell open, gasping desperately for air while my grip tightened. "You're not getting away." I think it took us both a moment to realize exactly what I was doing as I let go of his neck. From the look on his face, Izaya was pretty confused, until my other hand came speeding towards him.
His eyes went incredibly wide, his mouth opening in a choked gasp. We both looked down at my hand, the hilt of the weapon still in my grip while the blade was fully sheathed inside his stomach. Without thinking, I tore the blade from his gut, only to plunge it back in at a different angle.
I felt a pair of hands fly up and grip the front of my vest desperately. I looked back up to see that the flea had his head hanging low, making it hard for me to see that his eyes were clenched shut and that he was gasping for air though gritted teeth.
I blinked and pulled the blade from him again, this time letting it drop to the ground. I reached up with my bloodied hand and took hold of his face, lifting it so that I could see his expression properly. His eyes opened slowly, looking up at me. I can honestly say that I was rather surprised at what I saw.
Tears. Streaks of them running down those pale cheeks. It wasn't just the tears either; it was the look in his crimson eyes. He looked so god damn sad, like he really did not want to die that day. I couldn't stop myself as my thumb swept over his cheeks, wiping away some of those tears.
"You're gonna die today." I said quietly, watching as those words seemed to force his eyes to close and his knees to buckle. He collapsed against me and I allowed myself to wrap an arm around his waist and hold him up. I could feel his breathing become labored against my neck as he fought with every amount of strength he had to stay alive. I could feel his blood begin to seep through my clothes, though I didn't really care.
"Shi-Shizuo…" He whispered my name as his already weak grip on my vest loosened. I knelt down, taking him down with me and laying him down on the dirt covered ground. He still had a little life left in those orbs as I stood up. I felt almost guilt as that life fade to nothing, the faint rise and fall of his chest coming to a stop.
Izaya Orihara was dead.
X*x*x
I'm not sure why, but I carried his body to Shinra's, taking the deserted back streets where I knew I wouldn't be caught.
I remember the look on my childhood friend's face when he saw the flea in my arms.
"You didn't…" He muttered.
"I did." I was surprised at how emotionless I sounded. I couldn't explain it but, I think I was still processing what I had done.
I was instructed to bring the body through into the lounge room, where I lay him on the couch. Celty walked in at that moment and I could see her freeze at the sight.
[Shizuo, did you really kill him?]
I could only nod at the typed question. I saw her shake her nonexistent head, a sign of her disappointment. Shinra pulled her out of the room for a moment, probably discussing what to do about me. The moment gave me a chance to think properly. Think about what I had done…
I killed the flea. I killed Izaya Orihara. I killed the man who has caused me so much grief. I killed the one person who wasn't at all scared of my strength. I killed the one person who I wasn't afraid of hurting. I killed him… I killed him… I killed him…
I hadn't realized that I had begun to cry until my vision blurred and I could feel the warm droplets on my cheeks. I blinked until my sight was clear as I glanced down at the flea on the couch, his shirt soaked in blood and his eyes open and lifeless. I reached down and slid his lids shut, giving the allusion that he was simply sleeping. I knelt beside him, placing a hand on his cheek, which was still dirtied with dried blood from when I touched his face.
"I'm sorry…" I whispered, "I'm so sorry Izaya." I truly was sorry, because no matter how much of an asshole he was, it was not my right to take his life.
I could feel Shinra and Celty watching me as I cried over the dead flea, but I didn't care. I knew they figured out the right thing to do with me, and I was pretty sure I had an idea of what it was…
X*x*x
It's been nearly a year since I killed Izaya, and I still regret it.
Shinra and Celty had told me that, since I would naturally be the most investigated person when Izaya's death was discovered, it would be inevitable that I would be caught. So I turned myself in.
I pleaded guilty in court and received a life sentence with the possibility of parole. However, my chances of getting out of here died the day I was put into solitary confinement.
If you're wondering why I've been put in solitary, then I'll just be straight forward with you.
I saw Izaya.
When I was in the yard, minding my own business, I saw him. He was standing against the wall of the prison building, smiling at me. When he waved, I did nothing short of freak out. I can't remember exactly what I did, but I was told that it would be another month or so until the other prisoners were able to go out there.
After that incident, I went into solitary without any complaints.
I began to wonder if I was just seeing things when I saw the flea. I thought that maybe my mind was playing tricks on me. However, when I turned over on my uncomfortable bed to face the far wall, there he was, leaning against the wall, his hands in his pockets and a smile on his face.
For a moment, all I was able to do was stare at him. He looked exactly as he did that day a long time ago, before I killed him…
I asked him why he was there, and he simply shrugged.
"I thought I'd keep you company." He had said.
From then on, he has always been in my cell. No-one but me can see him, though.
He has said nothing about his death or the fact that it was me who killed him, but when I finally bought it up, he simply said, "Oh, I forgive you."
Honestly, I don't know whether I'm seeing his ghost, or if I'm insane. But I really can't care less. I'm happy talking to him, and I'm happy that, even if it's in my own head, he forgave me.
It's just the two of us now, with him sitting at the end of my bed while I sit opposite him. He's been here for three months now, and I still find myself grateful for his company. Although, he still manages to tick me off a little by teasing me, but that seems to help keep some familiarity about things.
Now that I think about it, I feel like this is the happiest I've been in a long time…
Heh… Looks like I've got the peaceful life I've always wanted…
Never thought I'd be spending it with the flea.
X*x*x
Panda-Chan: Shit ending is shit! But I can't be bothered fixing it coz I'm just that lazy! Anyway, that's my little angsty vent fic to keep me from punching a wall! Tell me what you think, even if you think it was terrible! (I'll agree with those people ^^;) xoxo