By Leandro Poblet
(The TARDIS lands. The eleven Doctor comes out)
Eleven: -Ok. I think we're somewhere in Machu-Pichu. I didn't come near South America since the Aztecs, and it didn't turn out well. You wouldn't believe this, but I got engaged with an aztec woman. Wait a minute... Where are...?
(The TARDIS takes off. Eleven starts to run to the TARDIS and lands again)
Eleven: -No, no, no! Amy! Rory! What did you do?
(The first Doctor comes out. Eleven retreats a few steps)
First: -My dear boy, there is no need to shout! There's no Amy nor Rory here.
Eleven: -What? Where did you come out from? That's MY TARDIS!
First: -Now, who are you? (Gets face-to-face with Eleven).
Eleven: -I'm the Doctor. Who are YOU?
First: -I'm the Doctor!
Eleven: -Oh no! This is so wrong!
(Walks in circles examinating the first Doctor)
First: -The only thing I find wrong in here is your outfit. I hope that's not a fez! (Eleven hides the fez) And that bowtie is hideous!
Eleven: -Bowties ARE cool! And what's yours then?
First: -This? (Points the tie) It's a kentucky tie, dear boy, I can't believe I became such a halfwit at such an old age!
Eleven: -Right, leaving the style behind, how did you get here? (Points at the air pretending to show him Machu-Pichu)
First: -First of all, where are we?
(Both look around confused. The TARDIS takes off. Both Doctors amazed look at the TARDIS landing again)
First: -When I started travelling with the TARDIS, I didn't knew how to manage it. Now, many centuries later I still can't handle it?
Eleven: -Hey! It's not my fault. It's this place, whatever or wherever it is.
(Comes closer to Eleven)
First: -Why don't we check the error room for any log on this matter?
(Eleven starts walking back a few steps while playing with his fez)
Eleven: -I... I... sort of delete that room.
First: -YOU DID WHAT? (Looks at eleven with a murder face)
Eleven: -I needed space 500 years ago!
(The door opens. Sarah Jane comes out)
SJ: -Where am I? Doctor? (Both Doctors look at her)
First: -Is this young girl your companion?
Eleven: -Oh no! (Doubts) Yes, she was. But It's been such a long time without seeing her. She looks so... young!
SJ: -Hey! Who are you two and where are we?
(Both scream out loud)
1/11: -I'm the Doctor!
(Both again)
1/11: -No! I'm the Doctor!
(Both Doctors face-to-face)
SJ: -Right, calm down you two. (Sarah Jane separates them)
(TARDIS takes off again and lands all the sudden. Someone comes out)
Amy: -Doctor! Where are we?
(Everyone look around the place. Meanwhile, someone also comes out of the TARDIS)
River: -Hello sweetie!
First: -Now who is she? (Points at Amy) What kind of people do you take as companions? My God, she doesn't even know the difference between a skirt and a belt! (Points at her skirt)
Amy: -Doctor, you better tell me who this old man is before I slap him! (Points at the first Doctor and both look each other)
First: -I'm the Doctor! The original you might say!
(River and Amy make a look to each other. Then both look at Eleven)
River: -This isn't...
First: -It is, my dear. I'm a one of his previous self and this is a ground-zero time-zone.
Amy: -A what? (Amy looks confused to eleven)
Amy: -Where's Rory?
First: -Who is this chap Rory you're all hassling about?
(In a section of the TARDIS)
Rory: -Where the hell is Amy and the Doctor?
(Back to the time-zone)
Amy: -Anyways, what's a time-zone?
First: -It's a certain place in the universe where time does not exist and It's owner can manipulate it at its will.
(Amy looks worried to Eleven)
SJ: -We need to stay calm and check the TARDIS.
First: -Clever! I like this girl! (Pokes her nose and she smiles)
Eleven: -We can't get into the TARDIS without knowing where you can end.
First: -But, we can use the outside emergency system.
Eleven: -That old scrap?
First: -Be quiet! Do you want to stay in this gloomy place forever or at least try to fix this mess?
(Eleven cheers up)
Eleven: You're right! Let's try!
(Both on a side of the TARDIS. Both bent down at the same time and start looking for the control panel)
First: -Now, what do you know about this? (Looks at Eleven)
Eleven: -Nothing. Well... (Doubts) No, basically nothing.
First: -I think that I am pretty much in the same position as you, dear boy.
SJ: -Boys and their toys, eh? (Looks to River and Amy)
River: -Sometimes I think he loves her more than me.
Amy: -Sometimes I think he loves her more than anything in the world.
(They laugh)
First: -What did she said? (Looks at Eleven)
Eleven: -Ehm... Long story.
First: -It's okay to fell in love with women while you travel in time. It happened kind of the same thing with the aztecs. Oh, lovely Cameca...
Eleven: You naughty old man!
(Both laugh)
First: -Right. This should make it work. Now this panel and the soul hologram of the TARDIS are working.
Amy/River/SJ: -The what?
(Out of nowhere Idris appears)
Eleven: -Idris!
(Idris disappears quickly)
First: -Well, it needs some retouching and minor tweaking. Anyways, who was that young lady in the hologram?
SJ: -Yeah, who is she?
River: -Yeah, sweetie, WHO is she? (murderer look)
Eleven: -Ehm... (Eleven looks help with First)
First: -No time for explanation. Move! (clapping) Chop, chop!
SJ: -But, Doctor... I mean Doctors, what did you do?
First: -It's simple. (He grabs Amy and SJ by their shoulders. Eleven looks worried to a River that is really mad) This is a product of a malfunction in the core fluid system.
Eleven: -How did you fix the panel without this? (Takes the sonic screwdriver out of his pocket)
First: -(Grabs it) I don't need this meager technology! Keep this rubbish out of my sight!
Eleven: -Hey! (Takes it) Treat her gentle!
First: -Now, as I was saying, this is a paradox made by the TARDIS because of the malfunction and lack of error room. (Looks at eleven) Now we need to go before the paradox keep us here forever!
Eleven: -River, please go first.
River: -Don't even think I'm forgetting this!
First: (Comes closer to Eleven) -She looks quite mad at you... Maybe you should choose more carefully next time.
(River song leaves with the TARDIS. It appears again)
SJ: -It was a pleasure seeing you again Doctor, well, Doctors!
First: -It was pleasure to see you as my future companion, young lady!
(Sarah Jane also leaves. And the TARDIS appears again)
Amy: -Doctor, see you later. And other Doctor, it was nice meeting you.
First: -You too, young lady! But wear some pants for Christ sake!
(Amy leaves. The TARDIS appears once more)
Eleven: -Well old man, It was really nice seeing you... Well, me.
First: -Before I leave, I must tell you this. It's not about the name, It's about WHO you are. Remember that because someday you'll understand. But now It's my time to leave. Good luck, my boy!
(First Doctor goes to the TARDIS. Eleven tries to stop him)
Eleven: Wait, what do you mean with this?
First: -Sooner or later you'll find out.
(The first Doctors leaves and the TARDIS appears for a last time)
Eleven: -I sure was a crazy old man...
END