The bell rang out. Rachel glanced at the clock it wasn't the end of the period yet. The ringing continued with no signs of giving up. It was the fire bell. Rachel stood up from behind her desk. She could feel her heart racing under her skin. The fire was an all too vivid memory for her. Her thoughts were beginning race through her head at a hundred miles an hour.
She could feel her breathing quicken, faster and faster as the memories came flooding back, she could almost taste the thick smoke in the air, see it swirling around her, beckoning her forward until it engulfed her making it harder and harder for her to breathe. The heat was unbearable she was so close she could see flames flicking ahead, threatening to come closer towards her. Slowly she made her way forward inch by inch until a body spewed across the ground caught her eye. Stuart. Her entire body was trembling as she reached out to grab his leg, to pull him to safety. The effort of pulling him made her head spin she was so close, so close to making it, saving everyone. Then it all went black.
Rachel became aware of the sweat dripping from her and the fact she was now sat down on the floor underneath her window in the office struggling to control her breathing. She tried to get up aware that the fire bell was still ringing out. Her head spun in circles making it impossible for her to get up let alone walk downstairs and deal with whatever emergency was going on. "What sort of a head can't even deal with a stupid fire alarm?" She spat out to herself almost in tears over her failings. She knew she had to be strong, she had to take control too many people were waiting just to see her fail, any excuse they could find to kick her out.
Eddie meanwhile was outside in the playground watching everyone file out. Next to him stood Tom Clarkson and two disgruntled year 8 lads. "They thought they could get out of PE by doing something stupid like pulling the fire alarm." Tom was explaining to Eddie who was only half listening as he was searching the playground for someone in particular. The worried look on his face said it all as his search was not at all successful. "Look Tom can you handle things here and send the boys to the cooler? I need to find Rachel." Eddie didn't even wait for an answer before he half ran, half jogged back into the building in search of Rachel.
Eddie was bounding along the corridors frantically looking for Rachel. Peering into every classroom he passed. She had to be somewhere. Suddenly it occurred to him the one place he hadn't looked; up in the office area. He hurriedly ran the last few meters of the upstairs corridor towards the office, he needed her to be in here. Flinging open the door to the annex he glanced at her office door, it was closed. Eddie strolled up to it and in his usual demeanor pushed it open.
Eddie was slightly shocked at the sight that greeted him, he guessed he should have expected this after all it was less that a week since the gun incident which showed him just how fragile she still was. Rachel was gasping and shaking sat on the floor hugging her legs. "Rach?" Eddie softly called out as he didn't want to scare her anymore than she already was. "Rach, it's a false alarm." Eddie couldn't be sure but he thought he saw a few tears escape from Rachel's eyes before she buried her head into her legs.
"Come on let's get you up and sat on the sofa so you will be more comfortable than on the floor." Eddie said a little commandingly as he knew right now what she needed was someone to take control and look after her for once. Gently he placed his arms around her and half carried, half led Rachel over to the sofa where he gently sat her down. Rachel's hands instinctively covered her face from Eddie. "Rach are you alright?" Eddie knelt down beside her trying to look at her face. The panic in her was obvious, she was not alright. Eddie knew he needed to calm her down. Gently he took hold of both of her hands in his and slowly peeled them away from her face. "Come on breathe with me, it will make you feel better." Eddie softly said looking into the tear stained face of Rachel Mason, who would never let anyone see her in that state. "In" Eddie took a deep breath in and felt Rachel doing the same. "And out" Eddie exhaled and watched as Rachel copied him.
Eddie kept going for several minutes until he noticed that Rachel was considerably calmer and was breathing at a normal rate. As if to symbolise that the storm had passed the fire bell was also silenced at that time as well. Eddie stopped but he kept hold of Rachel's hands. "Rach.." Eddie paused uncertain whether Rachel would adhere to his next request. But he decided to ask anyway as he did care for her very much. "Do you want to talk about it?" The few seconds silence that passed as Rachel composed her self and then spoke for the first time to Eddie. "Yeah" it was only one word but the sound of her voice told Eddie just how much strength it was taking her just to agree to this chat. "I'll make us a cuppa." Eddie decided as that would at least give Rachel something else to focus on instead of this chat, which Eddie really didn't know where it was going to go. Rachel was fragile and he wanted to help mend her back to the old strong Rachel she once was.
As soon as Eddie went over to the kettle and started making two cups of tea, gingerly Rachel stood up, slowly walked over to her desk where she sat down and reached into her handbag. She pulled out a make-up bag. She opened it and spent a few minutes searching for the object before pulling it out; a mirror. Looking into it she could see that her face was faintly stained with mascara from where the tears had leaked from her eyes. She got out a tissue and wiped them away. Well aware that Eddie was watching her carefully as he fished out the tea bags from the tea.
Eddie took the two mugs,walked over to the coffee table and placed both cups down. He sat down on one of the sofas. Rachel took one last look at herself in the mirror before she put it away in her bag. She got up and walked over to the other sofa nearest the window and sat down. Rachel kept her eyes down staring intently at the pattern on her mug. "What are you thinking about?" Eddie's soft voice broke through the silence. "I just don't know if I can do this. I mean a stupid thing like the fire alarm and I can't deal with it. A head needs to be able to deal with these things and I just don't know if I can." Rachel felt her voice start to become croaky as she fought back the tears.
"Rachel you've been through a lot this past year, what with Stuart and the fire, it's going to take time for you to get over that. No one is expecting you to be 100% already." Rachel took a minute, breathing in deeply, preparing herself before she spoke. "Do you really think I can just get over it like that, after what happened I'm surprised that they didn't just leave me to burn, I know a whole lot of people would have wanted me to after what happened, but no I'm just left with this.." Rachel pulled her shirt to the side to show Eddie her scar again. Eddie looked at her, he knew this was his second chance and this time he wasn't going to look disgusted like he had when he was drunk.
"Rachel, you got that scar because you never give up on anyone, not even Stuart after everything he put us through. So don't give up on yourself, I haven't." Eddie told Rachel in a matter of fact way. This had almost the opposite reaction to what he expected. Rachel's head dropped down and Eddie saw tears dropping down into her lap. This was when Eddie guessed something was wrong, really wrong. He lent forward in his seat and took hold of Rachel's hands, softly rubbing the backs of her hands with his thumbs. "Rach what is it? You can trust me with anything, you know that."
Eddie could feel Rachel taking deep shaky breaths. "I killed Stuart, it was my fault he died." Her voice sounded so fragile, to Eddie this was something so stupid she wasn't responsible. "No you didn't Rach, you risked your life trying to save him, if anything you did the exact opposite." Rachel sat there shaking her head. "No Eddie you don't get it. Just before the fire Stuart came looking for me. And we got in a fight." Eddie opened his mouth as if to say something but Rachel held up a hand to silence him and allow her to carry on. "I was fine, but I got thrown around a bit and I..I.. I kneeded him, he tumbled down the stairs. I thought he was okay, he was bleeding but he said he was fine. And then the fire bell rang, and I just told him to go even though he didn't look fine. and now he's dead." As Rachel finished she erupted into a fresh set of tears.
Eddie pulled her into a hug, clutching her to his chest."Rachel, that wasn't your fault and don't you ever think it was."